Overwhelmed Newbie

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Started 1 month ago by devilot
Latest reply from chacha1
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nellieb
Member

Here's my 2 cents worth and I tell this to potential clients who are having family or visitors coming to stay with them.

Get boxes, bins, whatever is the same size for stacking purposes and toss everything into those containers. I don't care what order you use, just put the stuff in the bins, promise yourself you will sort them after the visit, and focus on the cleaning process. Give yourself permission to stop stressing.

When BF sees the boxes, tell him are you are in the process of organizing.

One reason for doing this is that when you see how clear your space is, and how clean after you do that, you will be reluctant to keep all the clutter. So it will be reinforcement for getting rid of things after the visit.

Whatever you can't get to, throw into boxes, clean, and then relax, enjoy his visit as well as your clean space!

P.S. I'm a professional organizer and this is really the advice I give people who call me up in a panic, same situation as yours, when we cannot schedule time prior to the visit or they can't afford the total amount it will take to clear their clutter!

Have fun!

Posted 1 month ago #
wintersmom
Member

@devilot - I had a flashback to my own childhood when you mentioned your conservative Asian parents. I wouldn't be surprised if your dad's car looked like my dad's, with stacks and stacks of fast food napkins turning yellow on the dashboard and a trunk full of everything but the kitchen sink. And I won't even talk about the house! But I completely understand where my parents are coming from...they remember what it was like during and after the Korean War. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from other unclutterers here. Just remember, it's a process. You'll have some good days, some bad, but don't let either slow or stop you.

Posted 1 month ago #
badkitti
Member

devilot - I think you're doing brilliantly, and I love seeing the before and after photos. Hope the bf enjoys your efforts and his stay.

Posted 1 month ago #
themusiclivez
Member

Definitely keep us posted about your progress! You have done amazing work so far :o) Like many others have said, if you focus on one section of a room at a time it will be so much less overwhelming. And nellieb gave some great advice about putting the stuff in boxes to deal with after the bf leaves. Sometimes when all of the clutter is in one spot it's easier to deal with as it gives you one section to focus your energy on!

Posted 1 month ago #
devilot
Member

Again, big big thank you for all your tips and encouragement! I followed more advice, and my best friend came over today to help me out. Without her, I wouldn't have been so "good" about letting go of a lot of clothes (and a couple of bags). Four, big bags of clothes and stuff that will be passed on to a family my family knows (pastor's family with 4 kids, and the wife's fighting breast cancer right now), so hopefully those will be much loved and used. See these bags?! (Water bottle is there to help get the scale of how large these bags are.)

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/9242/byebye.jpg

Bonus? Not only am I getting rid of a LOT of clothes, but large paper bags, too. ;)

Problem is, despite getting rid of a lot of clothes, all it did, was free up some drawers so that my other (more likely to wear) clothing can be placed there. I'm not seeing much actual difference in "clutter" level yet. I really have to figure out how to declutter more! This part does feel discouraging, I admit. Feeling like I've worked so hard, and let go of a lot of things, but not seeing the "benefit" yet.

Also, yesterday, I cleared everything off my bathroom counter and bathtub and did a super duper thorough cleansing.

@nellieb, you're right, I'm reluctant to "reclutter" my bathroom counter now, but I don't have much choice. I've been on a B&B no-buy for months, so I'm not too too worried as I know I'm being very good about using stuff up, and as stuff is used up, there will be less overall clutter.

@wintersmom, ha! Yes, fast food napkins rule. Luckily (unluckily?), those napkins are fully utilized in my household. I use 'em to clean up evidence of kitty upset tummies. :P "You'll have some good days, some bad, but don't let either slow or stop you." Too true! Yesterday, I was so ready to give up. And this AM? I really dreaded my friend coming over to help me "clean" yet more, but I plugged through it and feel so much better for having done so.

I totally forgot to take pics of my bathroom beforehand, so nothing to share there. But, my mom walked by and shouted out in pleased surprise. And Sandi, my best friend was beyond impressed with how clean and "organized" my room and bathroom look now.

I can't wait to keep on slowly slowly decluttering. Actually getting rid of "stuff" so that there are more open spaces. Yay!

Thank you so much for all of your help so far! :D

(And after the BF leaves, Sandi promised to help me purge through my shoe collection. *gulp* And I've inspired her! She says she's gonna go back to her apartment and try to clean and declutter, too.)

Posted 1 month ago #
Claycat
Member

This is terrific! You go, girl!

Posted 1 month ago #
themusiclivez
Member

I have been decluttering for a year now and it STILL feels like there is a lot more that needs to be done. Just know that it is a slow process but you will get there eventually! Best of luck to you! :o)

Posted 1 month ago #
badkitti
Member

It can be a long process - but that just means the proud feeling continues when you get rid of a few more things.

As for instant impact - choose an area that you'll see regularly (like your bathroom - already done!) even if its just a single shelf, and clear it - that way you'll get instant gratification.

Keep the photos coming!

Posted 1 month ago #
Loren
Member

Oh wow! Everything looks so great keep up the good work!
Don't worry about that 'there is so much left to do' feeling, I don't think it ever really goes away. After a while it becomes a more exciting 'Nice! Now what else can I get rid of!?'
I'm not a B&B person but I usually end up with a messy desk and lots of 'paper clutter'. I read an article that a lot of organizing time is wasted on moving things where they belong. It helps me to sit down and sort EVERYTHING that doesn't go in that area, into piles for things like 'Toss, Donate, File, Kitchen, Bathroom'. Then make ONE TRIP to get put each pile where it belongs. If you have someone helping, you might be able to hand them a pile and say 'Here throw this away for me', or 'Can you take this bag to my car trunk so I can donate it tomorrow.'
Just keep going, the feeling you get walking into a room you recently organized feels fantastic.

Posted 1 month ago #
wintersmom
Member

@devilot - Our kitty cat's messes require bounty towel strength! I'm just grateful she has the courtesy to yak on the bare floor and not the rugs.

It's great you have a friend to work with as you unclutter. It's like having a workout buddy waiting for you at the gym -- it's tremendously helpful for keeping on track. Good luck to both of you!

Posted 1 month ago #
devilot
Member

Yay!!! So, upon reading more of these threads and pondering some more, I'm realizing that what I did was (some decluttering, yes), but mainly, organizing/ cleaning. Though, those 4 giant bags of clothes and stuff that were donated was definitely decluttering. ;) I'm excited because now that my living area is cleaner, I can really roll up my sleeves and work on purging and decluttering for real.

Before the BF got here, I managed to clean my car's interior and definitely decluttered there, too! It's been a couple of years since my car's been so "empty."

Best of all, since it was Chinese New Year this weekend (in addition to Valentine's Day), a bunch of my relatives came over and they were absolutely stunned at how clean my bedroom and bathroom are now! What a great feeling, to not be ashamed of having people see my room. :D

Thank you so much for all your encouragement and words of advice. I really want to start the true decluttering process now, though I realize this will be a much much, much slower process for me.

Posted 1 month ago #
Claycat
Member

I know you felt so proud when your relatives came. That is great!

Sometimes it can be done in baby steps, devilot. A lot of what I'm doing is slow, but it is fairly steady.

Posted 1 month ago #
SarahJ
Member

Another trick is to box up stuff you're uncertain about. Tape it off, and date it. Come back to it later, after you've 'practiced' living without the stuff, and it'll be easier to see that you didn't really need it. Sometimes it just takes an object being out of sight for a while for you to realize you didn't really love it.

Posted 1 month ago #
chacha1
Member

Excellent work. There is nothing like the zeal of the newly converted! :-)

As Erin says, the reasons for decluttering will not always be the same from person to person, but all of us want to make room for *our* remarkable life. You will enjoy seeing YOU, instead of STUFF, in your space.

Posted 1 month ago #

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