You sound like me, I hate the tyranny of to do lists as well. Whilst I have had little success in actually making myself do stuff when I really don't want to (um, most of the time!), I have a couple of things which have worked for me. I'm still working on it...
A book called 'ADD friendly ways to organise your life'. Full of good ideas and suggestions, regardless of whether you have ADD (I think I do, and right now with PMT I can barely function). Best ideas in there are 'stubby to do lists', i.e. the 3 things you have to get done today, even I can do 3 things I don't want to do! Plus sorting to dos by task type, e.g. online stuff in one section, phone calls all done together etc. This really works for me, I never make one phone call, I do 5 in a row as when I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll! I highly recommend this book, though I also listen to plenty of ADHD podcasts, procrastination podcasts, etc. Anything for inspiration/motivation/distraction/self improvement whilst washing up and cleaning.
Some way of keeping track of longer term projects, to dos, bits and pieces of information you may need in the future etc. Right now I'm using Springpad, though some use Evernote. I use it to organise things into different folders, like stuff which needs doing round the house, in the garden, website addresses, things to buy, car MOT dates, all kinds of stuff I want recorded somewhere outside my head and preferably not on bits of paper I will then lose. Uni due dates and to dos under each subject, that sort of thing. I like the mixture of tasks and notes which you can add, check off, delete quite easily. I don't use this much more than once a week or so, but when I'm in the mood to get stuff done or an idea comes to me, then I use it. I've found it useful as an easy way of organising things which then won't drop off the edge of the world (in my head anyway).
A plain paper diary with the minimum amount of info on it so that I can check it regularly and not get freaked out. I put a sticky note on top of each day with my 3 'must dos' on it and check them off as I go.
Automated systems as far as I can deal with (veg box delivery, milk delivery, that sort of thing).
Anyway, this is just what works for me and my poor brain which can handle complicated cognitive tasks, ideas and theories but not remembering that my kids need new shoes or to buy butter when that's the reason I went to the shop! I have to keep it simple, not too intimidating and above all easy to use. Then every so often I'll have a complete blitz of a day and get absolutely stacks of stuff done which wasn't even on a list, and that's a complete bonus :)
I haven't tried the Autofocus system, but it looks like a good way of filtering stuff, give it a whirl if you fancy!
