Something that I have noticed...as I have become more comfortable with who I am and what I do I also become "de-clutterfied."
Anybody else out there having that feeling? Thoughts?
Do we buy things and have things in an attempt to find out who we are, and then once that is established, begin to get rid of the things that are no longer identifiers?
Yes!!! It's also definitely got to do with letting go of my many fantasy selves.
Strongly Agree.
Getting rid of excess and random possessions helps clarify my thoughts about what's important to me and how I want to live my life. I literally could not see past the Stuff, for a long time.
I am still acquisitive and materialistic. :-) But I am much more organized and thoughtful about it now!
It could also be that we need fewer things to hedge against our fears. The more comfortable we get with ourselves, the fewer "what ifs" chase us, the fewer "Justin Cases" we keep, and so on.
Weird, I just posted something like this in the fantasy thread.
I agree with you. How dull would life be if we didn't try new things?
Don't know who I am now I've reached this stage, as I'm questioning every aspect of my life. Some days it's exciting and challenging, other days I just want to get back into bed with a book and NOT THINK anymore!!
@ lazycow...nothing wrong with that!!! :)
Today was one of those days. I've done practically nothing constructive (washed the dishes, folded the laundry, grazed for food) and haven't been out-of-doors. I have opened the doors multiple times for the cats though! :) I don't know where I am these days. I don't seem to be able to concentrate on things enough to carry them through if they're over 5 minutes. Consequently progress is very slow.
pkilmain,
Relax about the unconstructive day and even if you are only getting 5 minute tasks done they are something done.
If the concentration problems are not resolving should you see your doctor if you haven't already got a cause for them?
I agree strongly with the original post. For me, part of my decluttering is removing the "tyranny of the shoulds"... let me explain. My mother died in March. I have decluttered most of her possessions now (thank goodness she had been downsizing for many years), but find myself divesting of MY possessions that I felt I SHOULD keep...because SHE thought I SHOULD. Like the rest of my wedding china (most of it was broken in an earthquake long ago)...I never really liked it but my mother liked the pattern. Gone today. Some silverplate serving dishes. NEVER USED THEM (I'm 59!)...Mom thought "one should have silver"... cups and glasses that are perfectly good, but not my style...she was a depression baby and was big on the Justin Case issue. Cheese servers and silly saying cocktail plates. I have a whole cabinet free now. I'm free now.
Also. I have freed myself of the tyranny of the should in the idea of recycling wine corks. Had a big old box full, have another big old box halfway full. NO PLACE AROUND HERE WILL TAKE THEM. I will be darned if I am going to haul them to UPS to have them shipped somewhere...I have too much on my plate as it is. So! Tossed. Shoot me.
Ann,
'tyrrany of the shoulds' is a good expression, it's the parent/teacher on your shoulder telling you what you should do. I took years to realise that just because something was a wedding present or a special birthday gift I didn't have to keep it forever. The pearl necklace, not real pearls but cultured, that Auntie gave me at age 40 and I kept but never wore has gone onto my friend's daughter who is a generation who doesn't think 'That's what my Mum wore, I don't want to wear it, I'm not that person'.
Ann, your post really made me laugh. If I had been there I would have been cheering you on.
I don't post often, but I visit almost every day and decluttering is constantly on my mind. chacha1, you said it very well. For me it's also about how I want to live my life. I still have lots of stuff I can't see past, but there's less now than there was a year ago, and (quite a bit) less even than there was 4 days ago, so the horizon is definitely clearing.
I do like myself more the more I declutter. I feel I'm controlling my world instead of my world controlling me. This community is such an inspiration.
My biggest revelation in the fantasy thread is that it is perfectly fine to evolve as a person, with hobbies that come and go. What is not okay is not to acknowledge and accept this, which then leads to clutter building up. When I think I still like my old self, I keep things around, but in reality I don't like the old self and end up disliking my current self for disliking the old self, when the current self should still like the old self and simply get rid of the Stuff of the old self. Groan, that was a tongue twister.
@chacha1- "I am still acquisitive and materialistic. :-) But I am much more organized and thoughtful about it now!"- so very true!! I'm still going to want to add pretty things into my life, but instead of three so-so sweaters, I'll buy one fantastic one (and get rid of three ones I don't care about.) Getting rid of the "crap" has made me feel better about my surroundings, which in turn, makes me feel a little better about myself, I suppose.
Decluttering self? Definitely.
As I've removed physical stuff from my space, bits and pieces of mental stuff is going with it. The most dramatic changes so far:
- Finishing projects rather than starting 10 new ones; and
- Finding time and space to work on things of high importance to me (writing and music).
My motto this year applies equally to personal goals and to the stuff in our physical environments: "You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want. Choose!"
I've been sitting here several weeks with the name of a naturopathic doctor that a friend recommended. I know that I have enough symptoms to say that I'm suffering from some depression, and having picked up and read parts of the Mood Cure that someone here recommended, had decided to try that route first. But I have a moderate to severe phone phobia, esp calls I must initiate. Finally today I made myself pick up the phone and call for an appointment. Cross that off the to-do list. Of course, it was not as awful as I had worked it up to in my mind either. :) I deal with most appts - doc, dentist, hair dresser - by making a new appt before I leave their office.
@pkilmain, Havi at Fluent Self hates making phone calls too, and she wrote once that she deals with it by making up a story about it. Like she's a secret agent setting up a meet. Sometimes the goofy stuff works. :-) Glad you are going to be getting a professional opinion and hope all goes well!
Pkilmain, fingers crossed that this is the right doc for you!
pkilmain -- I dread phone calls as well. I can speak to large groups of people with no anxiety whatsoever but the thought of making a routine phone call will keep me awake at night. I was thinking that it is because I can't see the person -- but it sure does make life hard.
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