Life and death in the digital age

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Life and death in the digital age

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Started 2 years ago by Another Deb
Latest reply from djk
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Another Deb
Member

I have never had to handle estate matters for anyone...yet. How do you take care of organizing things so that someone left behind can get into the accounts, or even KNOW that there are accounts to be settled, when it is all online? How to keep track of all the passwords, memberships, subscriptions, accounts, contacts, etc? I would hate to think that Angie's list and Ancestry.com would keep billing my credit card for months before someone could get it all sorted out, or that there was a Zappos credit left on my account, etc. How about e-mail backlog?

My husband and I keep seperate finances and married after both of us were well established. He has some bills set up for auto-payment, I have others. We have multiple passwords that change all the time. I had to reset the TurboTax password recently so I could get in, which is what made me think of this topic. Now it's bugging me!

Posted 2 years ago #
Sky
Member

Another Deb....I just read this article by Dave Ramsey.

Legacy Drawer: Is Your Family Prepared?
Don't overlook this essential part of your financial plan
from daveramsey.com on 26 Mar 2008

The Boy Scouts have it right—you should be prepared. You should have an emergency fund so you are prepared for a car wreck or job loss. You should have health insurance set up so you won't get bankrupted by a hospital stay. And in case the worst happens, you need to have a Legacy Drawer.

A Legacy Drawer is a drawer in your house with all the important papers that your family needs if something happens to you. It contains everything: your last will and testament, insurance policies, funeral instructions, mutual fund statements, passports, budgets—everything that your spouse and family would need to know if you weren't around. It is also organized in such a way that a nine-year-old could open it up and find any given document in 30 seconds.
What's the Point?

There are a few big reasons to have a Legacy Drawer:

* Leave no hassle or fuss. When you die, your family will be overcome with grief. The last thing they need at that point is to have to sort through a mess of papers and forms to find out what happens to your estate. By organizing everything into one simple place, they can find what they need when they need it without getting stressed out.
* Organize other areas of your life. When you realize that you don't have a monthly budget (one of the things that goes into the Legacy Drawer), it can motivate you to sit down with your spouse and make one. Also, a Legacy Drawer can get you to open up emotionally to your family.
* Communicate with your family. If you communicate to your spouse, children or other loved ones about what to do with your things when you die, it can help you talk to them about other important things.

Real-Life Story

Here is just one example from a member of MyTotalMoneyMakeover.com regarding the importance of the Legacy Drawer.

When my dad died, my mom was lost on what to do with the paperwork. So when she got sick, she immediately put me on her bank account. She then showed me an envelope that she had put in a dresser drawer. Across the front was written "In the event of my death." She told me if anything happened to her, get the envelope. Well, when she passed away, I got out the envelope, inside was her will, all of her credit accounts, the account numbers, telephone numbers, and balances and precise information as to what I should do step by step.

We want to challenge you to get your Legacy Drawer together over the next 30 days. Every single bit of information that goes in there can be obtained in less than a month. Give this gift to your family. Give them a Legacy Drawer.

Start your Legacy Drawer with MyTotalMoneyMakeover.com.

Posted 2 years ago #
Lori Paximadis
Member

I'm in the process of building manuals for my businesses, which include things like e-mail and web access info (I use codes to note my passwords, and those who might eventually need to know have what they need to decode them), supplier contact info and account numbers, client contact info and reference (house style preferences, notes about quirks, etc.), notes about how my accounting system is set up, and so on. I've set aside a half-hour per week to work on them, and they're coming together well.

While mine will eventually be printed manuals because I like the feel of paper, there's no reason they couldn't be electronic, for those who prefer things that way.

It occurs to me that I really need to do one for my personal stuff, too. Although my files are pretty well organized, it would still be a good idea to gather all the stuff anyone would need to know about my affairs in one place to save whoever ends up dealing with it a lot of time sorting through things.

Posted 2 years ago #
chacha1
Member

This is an excellent topic. Putting together a "legacy drawer" of sorts is something I'd like to get done this year. I think just as an exercise it could be enormously helpful in streamlining/combining recordkeeping systems. I mean, there's really no good reason to have financial files in more than one place per household, is there?

I've taken first steps toward simplifying (uncluttering) my finances this year by rolling over an old 401(k) and IRA to my new employer's plan, rolling over an old Roth IRA to my Health Savings Account, and basically bringing five tax-advantaged plans (and administrators) down to two. Next I'm going to close three store credit cards I never use. By the end of the year all "my" finances will fit in one file drawer - and DH is the next challenge.

I write login/password info on the inside of the file folders for my active accounts, rather than have them all in the same, separate place. I only keep the current year's statements in a given account file, so contact data is always up to date.

When you take on something like this, it helps to have a scanner and a shredder at the ready.

Posted 2 years ago #
Zora
Member

I have everything labeled and filed neatly (bills, bank statements, tax returns, will). My daughter will have no trouble finding things. I also sent her a letter with all my passwords, so that she can open up my Quicken and Quickbooks, shut down my online accounts, and notify my online friends.

But I didn't print out a copy. She's probably lost hers, so I should make another list and file it with everything else.

I find the thought of death a great incentive to organizing and decluttering. I don't to leave a mess behind me.

Posted 2 years ago #
Another Deb
Member

Good info so far, everyone. I have thought of a lot of it, but love the ideas.

Thanks for the article, Sky. Between my husband and myself, we can't even remember how to place our hands on the security scanner at the bank to get into the safety deposit box. We just don't deal with stuff often enough to have a good system so we need to get it all in a book or Legacy drawer.

Chacha said, "I write login/password info on the inside of the file folders for my active accounts, rather than have them all in the same, separate place. I only keep the current year's statements in a given account file, so contact data is always up to date." This is the kind of idea I was looking for.

I think it would be easiest to have these kinds of folders to update, purge and shread, maintain passwords and place written information into as I work with them over the years. This would help me anyway, since I only deal with certain accounts infrequently.

It would also be helpful to have a way to label all of my flash drives for quick access. I have amassed CDROMS, thumbdrives, and a portable HD with work files as well a personal files and pictures. Someone would have to spend a lot of time sorting through the files, folders and subfolders in order to find anything. It's not critical stuff, but no one would want to check every school worksheet file to be sure it wasn't a family history document, for instance.

I am trying to get those kinds of things into Ancestry and Flicker accounts and then let folks have access to them for their own uses.

Posted 2 years ago #
JustTheSort
Member

My pathologically organized grandparents had power of attorney for various family members and friends so I was exposed to what it was like to handle "estate stuff" at a very early age. I always vowed I would make it as easy as possible for my family!

My version of the "Legacy Drawer" is what I have always wryly called my "Hit by a Bus" file. I don't like to store certain things on my hard drive so this is on a separate disc. I view and update it quarterly. My family knows what it is and exactly WHERE it is. My husband and I also keep our banking pretty separate so this file lists all my accounts, login names, passwords, scheduled payments, etc. (It also has phone numbers for each institution so if my wallet is ever lost/stolen the list will help untangle that situation.) It gives all my email addresses, online IDs and so forth. I even include account numbers from closed accounts (indicating such) just in case there is a dispute down the road. There are also some advance directives for medical situations and funeral stuff on the disc.

I use a card catalog system (index cards in a box) as one form of address book and I have color coded cards within that with some similar lists (with less sensitive information). It's low tech, but I can find the phone number to report a power outage or pull up my daughter's frequent flier number in seconds without having to boot up my computer. (Also, a laptop may be a tempting target for a thief, but a little beat up wooden recipe box? Probably less so.) I email myself copies of certain lists and documents so that they can be accessed from anywhere (so if a tornado relocates our fire safe...). My family and I have talked about and agreed on a few words/numbers so when files are password protected we'll know what to try.

We've created a hard copy "household manual" so if something happens to us or our house while we're out of town, whomever is watching the place has a listing of numbers for our insurance agent, plumber, vet, gas company, tree service, etc. It also has directions for (and photos of) using water shutoff valves and a schematic of the fuse box.

I worry about information privacy but figure that it would be easier for ME to deal with any issues that may arise while I'm alive than to leave it all for someone to unravel if I'm in a coma or completely out of the picture.

Posted 2 years ago #
Vivace
Member

I use a program called fSekrit, which is basically a password-protected Notepad, to keep important information. It's automatically updated between my computer and my fiancee's so she always has the latest version and she knows the password.

Posted 2 years ago #
porkozone
Member

That's the hard part in all this - the very thing to make it easier for relatives to get into your accounts is the very thing that will make it easy for a thief to get into all of them.

It's frustrating that in order to keep everything so secure while we are living, that we make it hard for others when we die - or vice versa.

The bad thing is by collecting all this data for logins and such, only locks that data in for the present...and becomes outdated as soon as you change services, settings, or passwords. Inaccurate info is sometimes as frustrating as no info at all. It can also keep you from changing your password for security reasons, knowing you'd have to find and change all of your references to it.

Good article on a topic that is quite frustrating to me.

Posted 2 years ago #
ArtGal
Member

I bought a small address book and listed all my accounts, passwords, e-mail info, etc. in it (along with a copy of our will)...alphabetically, of course :) This stays in a "special place" in my house so that if I or my husband (or a loved one) needs it they know exactly where to look. It has actually come in quite handy when I forget a password or account info while traveling (as I can take it with me) and I can update it as needed.

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

*bump*

On death in the digital age:

After my Dad died and my Mom handled (and still handles) all the "real-life "stuff, I offered to cancel/delete his online accounts. It turns out that although my Dad had a account/password list (and it was a lot, he was very interested in technology and an early internet user, unusual for his age), he didn't update it at all during his last two years while he was sick. So while I had a good idea of what to cancel and unsubscribe (I did limit it to the few accounts where personal data was entered, credit card information and more, and his email addresses), most of the passwords were outdated.

It also seems that hardly any company has an option for "user died, please delete account" in their contact forms. I never imagined I would have this much email and snail mail correspondence just to close a few digital accounts (where the first two emails usually consisted of me trying to make myself clear that I did not forget my password, and most of all, I did not want my account to be closed, and that the user of that specific account will not need the account any more, thank you, despite their offer to upgrade the account to "premium" or whatever for a month for free. Sigh).

Long story short: I cleaned up my accounts, account names, passwords and emails big time and am slowly putting together my "legacy drawer".

Posted 1 year ago #
GirlOverboard
Member

My husband and I are still young, have no kids and do not own any property - yet. However, accidents happen and it'll be easier to get all of our accounts in order sooner than later.

We've been talking about getting a fireproof lockbox for our important documents - I think that setting up a document containing a running list of current accounts is a great idea. Additionally, the two of us have password naming conventions that make it easy for us to get into one another's accounts, just in case. On top of all of this, while we are keeping our own bank accounts, we are in the process of getting both of our names on every account where possible - if something happens to me, I feel better knowing he has full authorization for my credit cards, bank account, the bills that are in my name and so on.

Posted 1 year ago #
pammyfay
Member

Not too long ago, The Washington Post ran an interesting piece on what happens to your digital life in the "clouds" when you leave this earthly life. Why even if you are the official executor, short of a court order, you might never be able to get into your husband's Flickr account (where he's housed all your pics of the grandkids and your vacations) or Shutterfly account (what if he just about finished the photobook he was working on for so long) or auto-bill accounts, etc. Talks about new web services that are trying to address this issue (at a price, of course). (I imagine that even proving that you are executor, these digital sites might take a long time to come through for you, but I could be totally wrong about that!)

Here's the link:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/24/AR2010012402886.html

Posted 1 year ago #
Another Deb
Member

pammyfay, those are the questions that I have been pondering. It's not just the online accounts for banks and utilities. I am wondering about the "subscriptions" to things like the anti-viral service, or flickr, etc. Many things I have set up myself and can't remember doing it, so finding what a spouse has set up would be a challenge.

Posted 1 year ago #
trillie
Member

pammyfay, great link! That's exactly what I have been dealing with. Hence all the snail mail (!) for mere online accounts! It helped, though, that for some things (anti virus subscription, internet provider, iTunes account and so on) my mom wanted to take over the account. It seemed that when there was the death certificate and the document stating she was the only heir, it was much easier for her to take over an account than to actually close it. Go figure.

I also thought that one aspect of all these difficulties was that probably, noone ever makes the effort to terminate a free email account, for example -- because it's free. I just wanted to close my Dad's email accounts to make sure that all his subscriptions were effectively canceled as well, and to make sure any of his online friends would be in the know.

Posted 1 year ago #
djk
Member

wow. I need to get on the program with this topic. I have shown DH where to find info but I realize I am far behind with having things truly clear and structured.

Posted 1 year ago #

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