letting go of things

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Started 6 months ago by Parsifal
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Parsifal
Member

Have any of you gotten rid of something and letter regretted it? I'm curious because I've been actively decluttering for a few years - a lot slower lately as I run out of 'stuff' - and I've never gotten rid of something that I later really wanted.

What does that mean? Maybe it's just because I spend so much time on the computer, which gets replaced every 2-3 years anyway.

I read somewhere that accepting impermanence doesn't meaning giving away your things, just accepting that things go away... but I'm not sure that's it either. A large part of it is probably having few material needs - tools, hobby equipment and so on and enough income to replace anything that is really needed without feeling compelled to keep replacements on hand 'just in case'. I guess the incentive to hoard just isn't there for me.

Posted 6 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

the complete and utter absence of regret is what is fuelling my own further decluttering efforts.
as i am realising how very little stuff i really need, i am letting it go more and more.
i find myself being happiest when things are as simple as possible.
i am not a complete spartan....i value comfort, quality, beauty, design.
i am much more selective about what comes into this house.

i agree...having a few good tools and the confidence that one can easily replace them, is very freeing.
the idea of keeping a spare on hand "just in case" has been a difficult one to change, but i have finally realised that if i should need the widget in the future, then my future self is going to have to sort it out for herself.

Posted 6 months ago #
themusiclivez
Member

I regretted getting rid of a couple of CDs. I ended up buying two or three of them back (at about $5 a piece, so it wasn't a financial strain). Then I realized why I had gotten rid of them in the first place! After that experience I haven't regretted getting rid of any of it!

Posted 6 months ago #
herisff
Member

Every once in awhile I regret getting rid of some tools - but this is rare and when it happens I simply replace w/ a newer edition. Haven't missed anything else, though, especially the tchotchkes.

Posted 6 months ago #
Netleigh
Member

No regrets so far.
I may not have decluttered enough yet to really hit this problem.
Much of what I'm decluttering is from activities I enjoy/ed and holding on to them has been related to a complex feeling of fear and frugality. What might happen if I had nothing to read and no craft related projects on hand and no money to get more supplies? I would cope.

Posted 6 months ago #
BreakingFree
Member

I think as you declutter, you see and feel the benefits of the space (both physically and mentally) and it flips a switch in your brain regarding possessions and our need for them. At least, that's what happened to me. I have decluttered a LOT- to the point that my storage unit (attached to my condo, not one I pay for!) is empty except for my Christmas tree, boxes (I save boxes for large purchases for about 6 months), a fan, and a broom; and I have a couple of practically empty shelves in the closet in my office/2nd bedroom- and I still have the desire to do more.

I have had a situation like themusiclivez describes, but it was a set of books that I had loaned to someone and they lost (so I did not really choose to declutter them). They were very hard to find, but I replaced them, reread them, and wondered why I went to so much trouble to replace them...

The same mental process happened to me when I decided to get out of debt. It was hard at first to spend less money, but now people think I am cheap at times. The thrill of paying things off started to outweigh the thrill of acquiring new things (it probably helped that part of my get out of debt plan involved selling things on eBay, so I was already starting to see the benefits or less stuff and more space).

Posted 6 months ago #
Emilie
Member

A couple of days ago, I found a picture of myself from a few years back, and I was thinking, "Dang, I wish I still had that skirt!" But, I would say this is a rare occurrence. A lot of the things I've decluttered thus far are things I've forgotten I had, anyway.

Posted 6 months ago #
Astreja
Member

No major regrets so far, and no mad dash to rescue things from the garbage bin or the thrift store.

Closest thing I can report: After decluttering my sewing supplies and then having to hem pants, wondering if I had given away a spool of thread that might've been a closer match. (Don't think I did, though, because I remember giving away lots of pink and bright yellow and green but no taupe or grey.)

Posted 6 months ago #
chacha1
Member

I haven't had any regrets either. There have been things that delivered more of a pang than others, as I was putting them in the current Goodwill bag or box, but once things are out of the house I don't miss them.

Agreeing with others that having the resources to replace something, if I absolutely, positively, HAD TO, has been key.

If I had been decluttering out of necessity (lost my home, lost my job, had to sell everything for a penny and go live with my sister) I am sure it would be a very different emotional situation.

I'll tell you what I *have* done a [facepalm] over: new purchases that weren't Perfect. Things I got to fill a need but that I had to (felt I had to) get before I could search out the ideal version. It's just never worth doing! Fortunately I haven't done this often and haven't spent much money on it. But it's a daily annoyance to see that pair of shoes that I avoid wearing because they are just okay, not great.

Posted 6 months ago #
MTNgirl
Member

Pangs but no regrets. I usually forget what I got rid of within a day or two of donating it.

I have more of the "what if I need it" fear before I get rid of something.

Posted 6 months ago #
Another Deb
Member

Compared to the amount of regret I have had for buying so much in the first place? Very, very little decluttering regret!

Posted 6 months ago #
Emilie
Member

Another Deb, I agree with you...I've felt much more regret over things I've bought and haven't utilized than from the things I've let go. Although, I guess neither regret is too helpful.

Posted 6 months ago #
Rosa
Member

I was a little bit too ruthless with my son's baby clothes, but part of that feeling is that I gave them to a friend who I didn't realize had a serious clutter problem, so I was helping her clean later and kept finding his old things in the piles of moldy, cat-peed, unwashed laundry and that made me really sad :(. I took a few back (clean ones!) but I rarely look in that box - just recently I got his infant Halloween outfit for another friend's baby and was happy to see the stuff in there, but it had been a few years since I looked.

Posted 6 months ago #
Stella
Member

No, never. I once threw out my favorite sneakers (while decluttering), but that was by mistake, I didn't intend to, so I regretted that.

Posted 6 months ago #
susanintexas
Member

I'll admit that if I could have a do-over there are some things I got rid of that I'd keep. The green striped shirt from Gap that goes with the green sweater (it was too small then, would fit now); the Springsteen vinyl (I have a recording record player now and could digitize them); the extra TV we gave away (and the newer one broke the next week.) It's all just replaceable stuff, though. For every one thing I sort of regret there are a hundred that it is a relief to have gone, gone, gone.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sky
Member

I sometimes hesitate with a few things when I put them in my Goodwill box but once they're gone I forget them. No regrets.

I wish I could bring myself to part with some sentimental things without judgement from some family members.

Posted 6 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

sky, you know what?
no matter what anyone does in this life...there is going to be someone who will judge them for it.
i say, please yourself and let them worry about themselves.
offer them the items and if they don't want them, then get rid of the stuff.

Posted 6 months ago #
irishbell
Member

Sky- absolutely. If your relatives don't want the things, no reason to give you grief over not wanting them.

Posted 6 months ago #
Sky
Member

bandicoot and irishbell, I agree 100% but....I have my Mom's formal china and crystal that my son's don't want but think I should hang on to for my granddaughters. It is beautiful china and crystal but delicate and really, who lives formally any more?
I don't think my grands will ever want it.
I may just quietly sell it :)

Posted 6 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

sky.....how old are your sons and how old are your granddaughters?

Posted 6 months ago #

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