In honor of the site's 5th b-day - how long have YOU been at it?

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In honor of the site's 5th b-day - how long have YOU been at it?

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Started 4 months ago by mili
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mili
Member

I just saw the latest post which says this site was started five years ago today :-) The comments where a couple of people said they've been reading frequently (or even daily!) since the start got me curious about how long everyone around here has been into this approach to housekeeping (or lifestyle if that's how you see it :-)). I figured it might make a decent birthday-related thread, as well as hopefully an opportunity to take a big-picture look at things (I understand this is the resolution setting stage for a lot of you guys, and I know when doing this it can be easy to get lost in the short to medium term and lose the bigger picture, especially with regards to past achievements :-)

I'll start: I've kind of been into decluttering all my life, pretty much. Boring, but true in that this is how my folks ran their household, and by the time I moved out I was pretty sold on the benefits so I carried on on my own. In fact, I carried it on so well that at one point I took it waaaay too far - during a move I ended up decluttering a big group of items that I had a sentimental attachment to because I had arbitrarily decided that it only 'made sense' to keep certain types of items (chiefly practical/utilitarian), up to a specific volume, and everything else had to go. Unfortunately, not listening to my instinct that I wasn't ready to let those items go triggered a period of overcompensating that lasted a few years, where I was not finding it as easy as I used to to distinguish between what I really needed (to acquire or just to keep) and what I didn't - I guess I was finding it hard to trust my judgment when I'd messed up so spectacularly once :P

So the last few years were my first (hopefully only!) real honest-to-goodness cluttering period. It never got bad enough to merit the label 'hoarding', thank gawd, heck, from reading this forum, I reckon now it was actually pretty tame all in all. But it was still more crap-gathering than I'd ever experienced before so for me, it was BAD! This cluttering period ended this spring when I rather suddenly began to declutter the stuff amassed in the last few years, and slowly going back to the way I did things before that fanatical purging lol. So I guess you could say I renewed my commitment to it last spring :-)

This is all to say that I'm in the somewhat peculiar position of being in some ways a recent declutterer, in others an old hand :-) DO you have a similar experience (I suspect others who have been at it a very long time might). How long have you been into it? The start doesn't have to be when you actually started getting rid of stuff - it could be when you began to realize you have more than you really want, or whatever. You decide :-)

Thoughts?

Posted 4 months ago #
DivorcedMotherOf3
Member

I've always been the type who would rather chuck a knick knack rather than dust it. I don't know if that makes me a declutterer or just lazy.

The things I had the hardest time getting rid of was boxes and boxes of the kids first drawings - I'm serious, boxes full of squiggles with no idea what they were unless I had written "giraffe" or "leaf" on them. The scrapbooks were just never going to happen, so I finally was a little relieved when a leak in the roof drenched them all beyond saving. I still have one or two from each child so I'm happy.

An 800 mile move this past summer really made me strip to essentials - to the point of, this table and chairs set will cot more to move than it is worth, I'll buy new when I get there" and boxes and boxes of books left behind because of weight.

I'm kinda rockin' the minimalist thing, so it's cool.

Posted 4 months ago #
Zora
Member

I got cluttered during the twenty years I was living with my ex. For most of those years we lived in the same condo. He was a clutterer (if not as bad as a TV show hoarder). I thought it was all HIM -- until he moved out and I found that I'd accumulated a bunch of stuff too. I've been decluttering since he left (what is it, fourteen years now?). One huge cathartic purge after he moved out, and steady decluttering and purging since then. I still have a ways to go. Mostly books, papers, and craft supplies. My friends think I'm a crazy-clean minimalist but I know ... I could have even LESS!!!

Posted 4 months ago #
Ella
Member

I started reading the site in 2007 after finding it mentioned on Zen Habits and The Happiness Project. At the time, I was suffering from terrible depression following the breakup of my love relationship and the deaths of some friends. I read Unclutterer "from a distance," meaning that such orderliness seemed an ideal far beyond my reach when I was in such terrible psychological shape.

When my depression eventually led to financial loss and downsizing to a tiny apartment, I returned to the site in November 2010 and only then did I discover the link to the forums. What a HUGE revelation and life saver! Real people working on their real problems, and at all levels of clutter/declutteredness. I was then, and continue to be, inspired by and in awe of the remarkable members of our group... smart, earnest, honest, articulate, funny, wise, and compassionate. I am profoundly grateful to Erin and PJ Doland for hosting the main site and the forums. What would I ever do without you.

Posted 4 months ago #
smallLife
Member

I've always had the organizing gene, and have never had sentimental attachment to items. I can remember bringing boxes of stuff to my mom (who just shoved it somewhere . . ) when I was like 9 or 10 saying I didn't need it anymore. So in that respect it's been a lifelong thing.

As a frame of reference, I'm 22. I came to the realization last year that I lived at college perfectly fine without the full bookshelf and knick knacks (except the few I took with me). That, along with a better understanding of my style which has dramatically winnowed down my wardrobe, has drastically reduced my possessions. I now consider myself a minimalist and take great care with what comes into my room. I finally have a place for everything, and can put everything in its place within minutes. It's definitely a lifestyle/personality thing, but have really embraced it (by which I mean the counter-cultural minsumerism) in the past year and a half.

Posted 4 months ago #
grey
Member

i've never been one to collect things or really have excess, but sometimes things creep up a bit more than normal and i feel the need to go through and do a big purge. i was feeling that way again mid-december and found this forum after googling for decluttering inspiration and ideas. i have learned a LOT in the few short weeks i've been reading. and i've discovered that my craving for simplicity is much bigger then just the stuff i own - it's about decluttering my responsibilities and the things that demand my time. the less i have to do/remember the happier i am. and the more i'm able to say 'yes' when new, desirable opportunities come up.

Posted 4 months ago #
djk
Member

Happy birthday Unclutterer!
I have been quite vigilent about decluttering since I can remember. Keeping more than one needs is counter to the Mennonite philosophy, so the idea of laying up our treasures in heaven...not where moth and rust destroy had a great impact on my attitude to "stuff".
Also, I grew up in a very spacious old house with glorious proportions with no clutter, and reclaiming that has always been my aesthetic goal. The only thing is that I never have lived in such a space again and have continually downsized since, meaning that my big collections of books and candleholders (reflecting, if you'll pardon the pun) two primary interests: creating atmosphere and light in my home, and, literature.
However, there has been a sea change in the last year+ since reading Unclutterer and participating in the forum.
Other than dorms in university, I have never lived in a place as small as ours now. The first few years I highly resented not being able to entertain, and to have all our belongings on display (I HATE my spices on display because there are no closed food/pantry cupboards, for example). We face north, and have no direct light, so no herb pots on windowsills! no patio, no bathtub!)
That sea change which I attribute to this forum? That I decided to change my attitude from "depressing crack shack" to "exquisite jewel box". I have tossed and donated and purged far, far more than I ever have in my life. I realize that aesthetics was driving my need for a bigger place, not need. And the more I toss, the nicer the remaining things look, with a bit of air around them.
I still have candles everywhere, because they are wonderful for atmosphere, but I have really reduced the books. Although I still have plenty that I want in paper form I don't feel the need to keep every book anymore.
And I got a Kindle for Christmas so I really can get rid of even more!

Posted 4 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

we never had any money, so we hung onto household goods like they were gold.
then, about 15 years ago, i read a book about voluntary simplicity and it made huge sense to me.
i convinced my husband when the time came where we could buy a place, that we needed to buy a tiny apartment and pay the mortgage off as soon as we could....and he agreed.
we paid it off in two years and we lived extremely simply. pushbikes and a thirty year old car.
then we began a business....it was successful....we moved....we started to buy stuff.
some of the stuff was for the business....i had to set up an office from zero....we didn't own so much as computer or a camera or a mobile phone ten years ago.

our little shed house started to feel untidy with all the new stuff combined with an utter lack of storage.
we renovated the kitchen three years ago and i took the opportunity to have a massive purge of kitchen gear (hangover from our previous careers).
6 months later we tore out the cobbled-together office and closet area and installed elfa storage.
whatever didn't fit, was out.
in 8 years i had accumulated my share of worn-out tech and i had no idea of how to get rid of it.
then we built a room that pretty much doubled our living space.
weirdly, that led to further decluttering.....we now have more space than ever and we love it.

i think this is the start of my third year posting here, but i was reading the blog for a year before that, along with several others.
it's a great little community and i very much enjoy hearing about everyone's lives.

Posted 4 months ago #
susanintexas
Member

My childhood home was clean, tidy and organized -- but had a lot of stuff. My own homes have been just like that. I purged periodically -- when I moved (which I did often when I was in the army); when I cleared out a room to paint or lay new flooring; when things seemed to be getting out-of-control (no more room on the bookshelves or in the clothes closets.) Uncluttering was an event, though, with a beginning and an end. I didn't see the stuff as a problem as much as our not having enough room/sufficient organization/enough time to store and maintain it properly with any consistency.

The major shift for me happened two years ago when my now 90-year-old MIL fell. As she aged, her house become got out-of-control, and she hid this from her family. When she HAD to let us in to help her, we were all shocked by the mess and accumulation of stuff. I listened to the comments coming out of our mouths -- snide and disparaging comments about all her stuff -- and was ashamed. Pot. Kettle. Black -- what would a SIL, niece, brother think if they had to come and sort out MY house? Ugh.

That's when I started thinking about uncluttering, found this site, and this blessed community forum. My thinking and actions had become deeper and more systematic and the house reflects it. I do not aspire to minimalism and I am far from done, but our house and our lives have improved immensely.

Posted 4 months ago #
liag
Member

It has been all my life that I've decluttered, but I didn't know it: at age 10 I recall helping my friend organize her room to be more logical. Honestly I think it's a neurosis with me. I have lurked here since the forum began and have spoken just sporadically, but Ifeel I know you guys. You are all wonderful, and I'd like to rent a hall for a gathering! Susan--I live in Houston. It might rain . Thanks, all. {:o)

Posted 4 months ago #
Emilie
Member

I've only been decluttering for a year. Before that, it really wasn't on my radar. I grew up in a very cluttered household and wasn't familiar with other ways of living.

Then last year, I had an epiphany that I might be able to focus better in a less cluttered space, and it led me to do a ton of research on decluttering and decide to start doing it myself. Before I read about decluttering methods, I felt really overwhelmed and had trouble making decisions about which items were more important than others. This forum has helped me a lot with that...I'm someone who definitely needs a mental checklist when I look at whether to get rid of an item.

Posted 4 months ago #
Conny
Member

As a young child, my parents moved a lot and there was a purge every time. All too often some of my favourite things were gone, and i had no say in this. At the same time, i learned sharing from them, things we no longer needed were given to those who were needier than us. Nevertheless, my mother always bought more than we needed, and this pattern got worse when i was a teenager. Something went awry in those days.
So i have experienced both ends of the spectrum.
I notice a tendency to hold on to things, to buy for just in case. It started when our child was small and i wasn't able to keep as organized as i was used to. Although many of my friends always commented on how organized i was, i have always felt it could be a lot better.
We had too much stuff by the time our daughter was a teenager. Having people over was always a major drama.
Came to this site close to two years ago after 7 years of hints/guidance from FlyLady.
Periodically read through several articles and often through the threads, admiring those who are/can be more decisive about needs and wants.
Joined in the forum a few months ago. It is a great motivator to "finally" get our household to the way we'd like it to be, and to do this now before we are too old or more disabled.
Happy Birthday Uncluterer.

Posted 4 months ago #
mili
Member

oooh nice, lots of answers!

DMo3 - I hear ya on the knickknacks! that was my mother growing up lol. I have a more moderate stance in that I just rotate stuff, but then I don't really have a lot of knickknacks - if it's not utilitarian and it's not something that can be hung on a wall, then it's there for sentimental reasons, and by definition that's going to be a small percentage of belongings - if it's a lot, then it's no longer special obviously :P

Zora - whatever your friends say, at the end of the day you're the one that has to live in your space, so your word is law :P

Ella - so sorry to hear you've had such a hard road! I agree that the forums are a good complement to the main site, they make for more diversity in ways to declutter and live without clutter, which helps people whose goals or lifestyle do not align with the urban, professional/white collar lifestyle featured in the main blog :-)

smallLife - actually your post made me go 'oh boy' a little bit when you said you were 22, because that's actually the age I was when I had that misguided idea to do that big purge in an overenthusiastic effort to go hardcore minimalist :P So you know, just be careful and remember you can always toss later but some things you can't take back!

grey, that last bit about decluttering responsibilities and your time to be open to new opportunities really speaks to me! It's part of why I tend to whine a bit about stuff like scanning all new paperwork to achieve that elusive 'paperless office' - it seems a lot of effort for little return for the vast majority of users and it grates on me that they might feel influenced into doing it for no good reason.

djk - that house you grew up in sounds like my dream home! What you said about accepting where you currently live and making the most of it really resonates too, because that's where I am right now; I could move but it would be a waste of money and (copious) energy for what will really only be a change of scenery, not a in-depth change in circumstances, but as it's been a temporary situation I was never putting in much effort. That grumbling attitude then combined with the above mentioned new-found cluttering tendency to create the mess I took care of this spring :-) Now I am making an effort the space is working much better.

bandicoot - the whole notion of 'better a small home I can pay off quickly than a large one I am paying off into my old age' actually used to be the standard advice in the past - this idea to be careful with your money and avoid debt as much as possible. It's too bad this was left behind for most people, it's a much safer way to live :-)

susan, wow, that sounds like kind of a rough wake-up call. Shame is pretty effective in those situations, at least if it comes from within, but it's pretty rough on your self-confidence too!I think it's to your credit that you saw it this way though - most people would have continued to snigger at the auld wan and wouldn't have EVER made the connection to their own situation. The fact that you had the backbone to face it indicates an honesty with yourself, I think, or at the very least it indicates you had already gotten to thinking about the problem - you just hadn't made the conscious realization yet, and the MIL incident did that.

liag, I remember being about 12-13 and visiting an old aunt in her home. She was always unfailingly nice to me, and enthusiastic about catching up with me, but I would cringe throughout the visits because the place was a tip - you could get through to the seats, the telly, etc, but barely. Even though at the time I wasn't yet as into buildings as I later became, I vividly remember looking round and noticing that the house had a lovely structure and very nice moldings, and absolutely ITCHING to reach for a mop and large trash bag to clear it, then clean it, until it was the cozy home I could glimpse under all the crapola :P The summer after I turned 13 was the last time we visited (I think she always had some problems mentally, and after that things must have gotten too bad) but I still remember the mental checklists lol

Emilie, don't worry, everyone needs that mental checklist again from time to time - sometimes you just get stuck thinking 'okay, what am I supposed to do with this sucker?!' Then the checklist helps get you back on track, if nothing else :-)

Conny, wow, that sucks about having had favorite possessions forcibly decluttered! I would not be surprised if this actually contributed to any cluttering or even hoarding tendencies later on, honestly. It's very insensitive to a child's needs to do this to them - I know the 'you are not your stuff' mantra is popular here, but for a child things look very different because as children we don't have the abstract reasoning required to separate the experience from its physical manifestations, so without the object we lose the memories and stability associated with it. I reckon there is an opposite condition to hoarding - a sort of unclutterexia - which isn't talked about because it seems much more socially acceptable, manifesting as it does in a very tidy home.

Posted 4 months ago #
ninakk
Member

happy birthay unclutterer!

i joined the site when it says so in my profile, about over a year ago i think, but before that i read along for a bit (the blog) and had found it through realsimple, erin's article. the first push however came from apartment therapy where i participated in a home cure. i did a few of those and a kitchen cure but haven't read AT in a long time; there is too much stuff. the forum here i joined the same moment as i found it and it is the best time online that i have ever experienced.

Posted 4 months ago #
Irulan
Member

I'm another one for whom organizing was a natural behavior. I remember doing my homework in a specific order during elementary school and having specific places for my books. These behaviors expanded as I got older, especially once I got my own adult space in college.

It wasn't really a conscious thing, though, until I began reading this site about four years ago during grad school. That's when I began to understand how important managing my environment was to managing my stress. I gave myself permission to purge stuff that had made it across the country for no reason other than that I owned it.

Posted 4 months ago #
smallLife
Member

mili - I'm not terribly afraid. I've kept everything with happy memories (or rather, a memento or keepsake per influence/event). I needed to move on from some things and mementos or belongings that made me unhappy or reminded me of something bad were the first thing to go. And really, it's mostly clothes and books - all of which are replaceable. I've never been one for knick knacks and overstuffed spaces, I had been keeping stuff just because I had owned it for a while without having any meaning or purpose. What I've embraced is conscious spending and environmentally friendly products, and given that I've always been low maintenance and enjoy simple things (like a good cup of tea, cross stitching, a good book or a walk) minimalism just seems "right". :-)

Posted 4 months ago #
Netleigh
Member

I joined just over a year ago but had been lurking and absorbing advice for some while before that. I think I really started to reassess the stuff in my life when ds finished uni and moved out, it was a point where I wanted to reassess what I like doing not as a Mum but just as myself and with dh.
I am not a natural unclutterer, I’d started by trying to follow Flylady’s routines (too structured), found Apartment Therapy and did a cure or two and have eventually found my natural home here. My aim is to still have some stuff but to have places for it, I don't feel the need to become minimalist, I’m not a hoarder but the possessions were starting to fill up too much of the house and wouldn't fit in the spaces we have available. My interests have changed, my time is being used differently, and technology changes have made books less necessary to keep. I’ve made a lot of progress but still have a long way to go to get to my aim of PEEP.

Posted 4 months ago #
ninakk
Member

I don't think being organized is in any way the same as being decluttered. You can be organized without being decluttered (which I have been all my life in some ways), decluttered without being organized or decluttered and organized at the same time. I'm striving for the last option.

Posted 4 months ago #
Rosa
Member

I feel like I've been trying (and failing) to do this forEVER. But since I moved every few years (about ever 3 when I was growing up, and then at least once a year in my 20s) the clutter part was never an issue for me, just the disorganization.

Then we had a baby, and our roomates moved out of the house, and my grandma died, and my mom downsized her own house and wanted to give me a lot of furniture and china and stuff, and I had this nightmare image of dying under a pile of crap in our attic when I was 90.

So I guess I've been seriously decluttering about 4 years, but the first year was really easy - the garage was full of building supplies I had to rent a dumpster for, the attic was full of other people's stuff, so it was mostly just the physically getting rid of things. After that it's been harder.

Posted 4 months ago #
mili
Member

Nina, I'm with you on organizing vs decluttering - I have met examples of all three permutations. The decluttered but disorganized is actually kind of funny to watch: you have someone who's basically living practically out of like two suitcases lol, and they still can't get it together enough to be on time, not forget something they need to complete a task, etc (that's the sort of person often described as a flake, bohemian/a rolling stone, etc - someone basically nice but kinda out-there, frequently leading a nomadic existence). Cluttered but organized is also quite frequent - I actually reckon that's the middle ground, where most people sit. the cluttered AND disorganized category is much smaller in my experience :-)

Posted 4 months ago #

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