My family is looking at selling the family home of 25 years and downsizing to a bungalow. The house is filled with .... stuff.... the kinds of things one collects over the years: ice skates, bikes, books, heirlooms, linens, dish sets, tools, etc etc. The vast majority won't be needed - or wanted - in the new smaller home, and obviously won't fit. The task of getting rid of so much has proved overwhelming and is causing huge stress and misery. This is compounded by the fact that there's work to be done to the house to prep it for sale at some point. Neither of us are retired and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Any suggestions of how to get through a downsize without it ending in arson or divorce??
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Posted 1 year ago #
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If you don't know where to start, maybe do some reading. I liked this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Scaling-Down-Living-Large-Smaller/dp/B000GYI1MO/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1286384592&sr=1-6but there are many more like it, and you can probably just check them out of the library.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I was faced with the same dilemma a few years ago. I had a house filled to the brim with collections & a pending divorce after 26 years of marriage. I called in an auctioneer to come get my nice antiques. I cherry-picked what I wanted to keep and put a "nfs" tag on those items. There are probably estate liquidators in your area who are also willing to do "living estates". It helps to call in an expert sometimes. They know what's valuable, and what isn't, and definitely earn their commission. They are not emotionally attached to your stuff and will take a huge burden off your shoulders.
For what it's worth, I think you are wise to begin this process of simpifying your life well in advance of your retirement. You will free yourself and be able to enjoy your life so much more.
You Go Girl!Posted 1 year ago # -
Have you considered a professional organizer? The first thing I thought of when I read your post was to step back and ask for help. I don't know if finances would be an obstacle, and I've never worked with a professional organizer, but it seems like this is the sort of job they'd be able to help with. If that won't work, can you ask a family member or family friend to help? Sometimes it just takes someone from the outside to point to something and ask "so why are you keeping that?" to help you realize what's important to you.
Set smaller goals. Instead of "having the whole house done in 3 months" (or whatever your time frame is), something like "Finish going through the kitchen in two weeks," and break that into smaller goals like "the silverware drawer before we go to sleep tonight."
Set aside some time to relax. Don't feel like you have to spend all of your free time working on the downsize.
I've never downsized myself, but I know it can't be easy.
Posted 1 year ago # -
A project like that is absolutely overwhelming -- no wonder you feel that way. :-)
Break it down into small, manageable chunks, however that works best for you: one shelf/drawer/surface/cabinet/box/bag/whatever at a time, or 10/20/30 minutes of sorting, whatever time you have available (set a timer). That way, your project is not "clear this house" or even "clear this room," but "clear this shelf" or "spend 15 minutes on this closet" -- way more manageable and sane.
Recognize that there will be a little while when everything seems to get messier rather than clearer as you pull things out of the places they've been hiding for the past however many years. That's okay.
Take everything out of the space you're working on and sort the items into piles: keep, give away/donate, and trash. (And, if you're like me, an undecided pile, too. I work best in layers, getting rid of the obvious stuff first and then going back one or two or three times more to get rid of even more.) Move the give away/donate stuff out as soon as you have enough to justify a trip to the donation center. Some people might also suggest a sell pile, but I've found that for the vast majority of stuff, the effort you have to put into selling it is just not worth the return; just taking the tax deduction is far more efficient. (This of course won't apply if you have a houseful of gorgeous antiques to move along, or if you love to have garage sales [I don't].)
I hope that helps make things easier. Good luck!
Posted 1 year ago # -
it is quite natural to feel overwhelmed and stressed when you face the whole job all at once.
however, it can be done and you will WILL get there.
i've got two attack plans for any big jobs, and these work for me:
1. i pay people to turn up and help me with a big major day or two of work.
like a working bee, but paid.
everyone likes a bit of pocket money, so ask your friends and family
2. in between the big push.....i chisel away at things, a bit at a time, slowly but steadily.once you get the clutter out, you'll be able to focus on the renovating/prepping for sale.
i wouldn't even think about that until the stuff is out out out.(we are planning to paint the house exterior ourselves sometime in the near future. it needs rendered as well.
it looked like a huge horrible project to do by ourselves (we are not very DIY), even though it is a very small simple house, and the professional quotes have been outrageous.
so we asked around and within our wider acquaintance, it turns out we have access to several people who would just LOVE to spend a paid weekend doing this, especially if i am providing meals.
so ask around, you'll be amazed who might turn up to help out).Posted 1 year ago # -
@Nithy, I'm a professional organizer - and yes, many of us do indeed help people in this type of situation. You can find an organizer in your area by going here: http://www.napo.net/
Posted 1 year ago # -
My husband and I faced the same dilemma about 3 years ago. We downsized after we sold our much larger house overnight and had to move within very short time frame. What worked for us was to rent two 10x13 storage units until we could find the time to go through our stuff. It was less overwhelming because it allowed us time to make decisions when we had time or the inclination. It took about a year to go through everything. A storage unit might also free up some space for you to prep your house in order to sell it. I make this suggestion only as a temporary solution though. Don't fall into the trap that many other people do and keep the storage indefinitely:) Moving is very stressful so I hope that you find a solution that will ease your stress level. Good luck!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Just remember that you don't have to do this perfectly the first time through; it's totally OK to declutter now, declutter more when you're packing (the thought of lugging a box out to the truck adds a lot of clarity...), declutter again as you're unpacking, and then on an ongoing basis as you get settled in your new place and know what goes where and what doesn't fit.
Posted 1 year ago # -
My sister did the storage unit thing when she got divorced and had to move out of her 3 bedroom house into a studio apt. She was very good about going through stuff (some of it with my help when I visited). She went from 2 units, to one, and then when she moved into a larger apt, and could use her furniture, to giving up the second unit. Took about 18 months, but she doesn't miss a thing!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not.Enuf. Hours: My parents just did almost the exact thing. They went from a 35 year stay in a bungalow full of family memories and stuff to a 2 BR senior apartment. Both are in frail health and it was a hard 6 months of decision making. But, if they can do it, so can YOU! The movers took them over to the new place on Monday and the house closes in another week.
Make a plan for the new place. What do you want in your extrordinary new home? Look at pretty pictures in home decor magazines. See any of your junk in them? Of course not!
There are likely auction houses in your town might be a good start if you decide to sell things. They can come and pick up things you decide to sell. My philosophy is that if I give something to the Goodwill to sell, I can bet that someone else will do it as well. If I find myself missing my junk, I can visit its cousins at the GW on any Saturday.
Posted 1 year ago # -
My friend just went through this, I was renting there house and they decided to sell it while they were living somewhere else. They had only a few weeks to prep the house as they were under a deadline. The whole basement was filled to the rim of stuff and they are young early 40's with no children but you would think the house was from someone who had children and was in there 70's. They tackled it by grouping like things together. There were enough pwer tools and nails and wood, paint to open up a hardware store. They put a notice up in the neighborhood of peopel they knew that would like all the gardening tools, power tools etc. They then had a private sale for the neighbors and then a garage sale on craigslist all the while listing there furniture.
Furniture was moved out to storage so the whole house could be painted on the inside. One thing my friends said since they had been living in another country and living simply with just a bed and chair was how happy they were and how shocked they were to see how much they felt like consumers. Never again they said will they accumulate that much stuff.AS I was renting their house waititng to buy my place and also downsize my mother...I highly recommend asking for help. Sometimes people look at things differently. I know that I was often tired and made poor decisions nad if I only had some help I am sure things could have been easier.
This is also an amazing forum for help and support.Posted 1 year ago # -
We just downsized. We'd been living in our home for 6 years (a good sized colonial with a walk-up attic and basement) and moved to a 2 bedroom apartment. First of all, we are sooooo glad we did it, I hope you will be too. We ended up getting an auctioneer because they came in and took everything away. Still, after that when we moved, I still had about another 1/4 stuff to get rid of in order to fit into our new home.
My suggestion is if you are going to store furniture, store the furniture that you are planning on moving with you, then have an auctioneer/estate liquidator come clear everything out they think will sell, then call JunkBGone for everything else, then hire professional cleaners (you'll be too exhausted with decision making to do it well yourself), then place back in the furniture that you are moving to your new home in order to "stage" your current home for the market.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not.Enuff.Hours, baby steps! Even if you only declutter or pack something for a half hour every day, you will see progress soon. Just start somewhere! And remember to take enough breaks to renew your energy :o)
Tthere are two threads about similar situations with lots of great advice:
* http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/tired-overwhelmed-overloaded-by-decluttering
* http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/moving-house-in-8-daysGood luck! :o)
Posted 1 year ago # -
Wow, have I been where you're at! These are the things I wish I'd known at the very beginning:
1) Give yourself permission to let things go. You don't need to get money for every little thing you think may have value. Worry about the big stuff and pass the smaller things on to charity.
2) Thinking you might miss that teacup or the chipped bowl you ate oatmeal out of as a child? Take a picture of it before you put it in the trash or the donate box. Keep the memory, not the object.
3) Don't get bogged down with needing to find good homes for things. Your only goal right now is to get the items out of your life. See #1.
4) In my case there was a difficult sister to deal with. She wanted to keep most everything and she fought every step I took to move things along. We ended up renting a POD, moving all the extra things in it so we could empty the house to sell, and then having the POD delivered to her house a month later. It didn't make it pain free, but it reduced the stress level tremendously.
5) Only keep the things you can display in a place of honor in your home. Packing your family heirloom linens and putting them in a box in a closet only clutters up your life.
6) Call in favors from all the nieces and nephews and grandkids and greatgrandkids and friends who are always wanting to do something for you. You would be amazed at the things people are attached to that you never knew about, and if nothing else they can help lighten the load work-wise.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I don't know if you already have a home that you are going to move into, or at least perhaps the idea of a size of one.... but if you have a bit of an idea of what you are moving into how about going "shopping" in your home to "newly" furnish and equip the new one? You could go through and put sticky dots or something on the items you wish to "newly" purchase for your new home, and let the rest of the stuff go. Maybe thinking in the opposite direction- starting from scratch and filling up the basic needs- instead of the traditional "oh my god I have to get rid of all this stuff what do I get rid of?" might do the trick...
Posted 1 year ago #
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