@bandicoot, an end table is a small (50cm x 50cm max) table that sits at the end of your sofa to hold lamps or guests' drinks. Think bed nightstand for your couch. :)
I had this long depressing story about something my mom insisted I can't get rid of, but I think I'll just call her and explain it to her and see what solution we can come up with. Thanks, all!
morfydd,good idea- the not-so-easy, honest approach first.
Bandicoot, what do you call pillow shams and end tables?
I am curious to know why my parents feel the way they do. It would be a good discussion.
JJ- it couldn't hurt to ask them, could it? I only say that, because in some cases, it could hurt!
perhaps parents think we will love and cherish their items more than a stranger.
perhaps they don't want the hassle of getting rid of things on their own.
perhaps they can't stand to see strangers have their once very expensive items for free.
perhaps they just want them to stay in the family.
my parents hated to see anything go to waste, and i think they felt like giving things to people other than their family was a waste.
my folks never tried to foist stuff on me that they didn't want anymore, they would ask, but if i said no, it was ok with them.
now - buying me unwanted and unasked for things as gifts, that's a whole different story.lol
my dad has been unwell recently also, i just hate seeing it. i hope your dad is on the mend soon!
Sorry about your dad, Irish. My dad is slowly on the decline due to heart failure. It remains to be seen if he can get his strength back this time. The place he is at for physical therapy does a great job, so we'll see.
My parents know that I am more than happy to get rid of their stuff, but it pains them when I do. On a couple of occasions I accepted whatever they offered me, then dropped it off at the charity shop on my way home.
Last Christmas mom saved a box of stuff that I didn't want and offered it to my SIL and niece. They graciously accepted it, but I could see the pained look on my SIL's face. Welcome to my world SIL. lol
The turn this thread has taken reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend. After the deaths of her mother and younger son, she and her husband decided to throw over their lives -- within two months, they'd sold their house, gotten rid of 3/4ths of their possessions and moved to a valley north of Seattle. She wrote this about her dining room table:
... later I realized the cherry set for me is an East Coast thing: where I grew up, all that who's your family thing, the weight of history -- not just personal but regional. A lot of symbolism for a poor inoffensive dining set!
But the Jetsons set simply can't be taken too seriously. It's Danish modern, man! Sixties cool, atomic cool, bare feet and open doors and windows, West Coast, no ties and suits, man. Pull up a chair! I wasn't consciously aware of it, hadn't articulated it, could only crouch on a chair and smack the tabletop and grunt, "THIS one!" feeling it.
That's how I felt furniture shopping for new things for the first time ever when I moved. No hand-me-downs that I didn't love, no second hand stuff that was bought for a cheap way to make do with what I could afford. Just me, in the store, looking at things in a still reasonable budget, but getting to pick EXACTLY what pleased me. I saw a totally impractical modern chaise lounge in a bold print. "THIS one!" was my gut reaction, too. And I started there and did colors and style and furniture around it, and I love it. But I didn't wipe out all the inherited things and toss them - I just made the ones I really liked work with the new pieces. The antique treadle sewing machine with the wooden surround is now my TV stand. The antique doll table that was my mother's in now an end table next to a low slung leather chair. The beat-up metal trunk that I bought at a junk store for $8 is my coffee table. My beat up and well loved books - mine, my mother's and my grandmother's - are displayed with an assortment of objects that I've bought, been given, or inherited, and look fabulous on modern ladder bookcases. I've got stuff a year old mixed with inherited pieces that are 100+ years old. I like having the inherited antiques mixed with the new things. To me, it looks personal and fun.
juliajayne asks: what do i call end tables and pillow shams?
welllllll, here is the truth.
i don't have words for them, because they have never existed in my life.
i suppose people have these things in their homes....i've never actually noticed.
i guess if i saw an end table, i'd think of it as a sofa table. or a lamp table.
or just.....a little table.
are they different to occasional tables? i am not even sure what those are either.
o dear.
i've got a brass tray-topped indian folding table (many years ago, a friend of my mum's was throwing it out, and mum offered it to me and i liked it enough to take it and keep it all this time) and a big teak chest and that is what we use for a coffee table and a place to put a vase of flowers or some candles.
as for pillow shams.....nope.
it's either a normal pillowcase, or it doesn't exist in my world, lol.
and what's up with pillowcases that don't have a fold in them? to tuck the pillow in and cover it properly? i mean, how cheap is that, to scrimp on a small piece of fabric that size?
total hijack, sorry.
@bandicoot: I think an end table is an occasional table that happens to sit at the end of a sofa. :)
@irishbell: Thanks for the compliment. It is amusing as my family is the most non-communicative ever, so being this direct will be weird. I think this will be easier than most such conversations as I really don't think there's emotional attachment for her for this thing. (And I don't mind it as a thing, but it developed bad emotional issues for me after she gave it to me.)
No family heirlooms here. For one thing we weren't big on them in our family, and for another, when 3 people move across an ocean with 4 suitcases between them and a strict weight limit on each, heirlooms are not top of mind.
The only family things I own and treasure are old photographs of my parents and grandparents. Most are snapshots, but there are a few gorgeous portraits. If I could get my hands on the negatives and have some of them enlarged, I'd be as happy as a clam.
I don't really long for heirlooms, but if I were to have my pick of anything I remember from my grandparents' house, it would likely be one or two of my grandfather's paintings, my great-grandfather's medals (he fought in World War I and was quite highly decorated), maybe 1 or 2 pieces of jewelry that belonged to my grandmother, and more photos. They would all be things that mean something to me personally, I don't think I'd enjoy having to keep something just because it's been "in the family" for N generations.
Update on the rocking chair...
My mother is considering selling some of her valuables, and she asked about the condition of rocking chair. She knows I don't use it, so she is fine with me taking it in for appraisal. I told her I'd let her have the money if it sells. What a relief.
Not much in the way of heirlooms here. I have a Bunnykins baby dish from my own childhood, and a vase and 2 threadbare silver candlesticks that were my parents' wedding presents. The baby dish and the candlesticks may go away, but I might be able to use the vase.
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