Has decluttering made you picky?

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Has decluttering made you picky?

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Started 1 year ago by themusiclivez
Latest reply from lazycow
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themusiclivez
Member

I have been doing an extreme decluttering (I am trying to become more and more minimalist, and it feels great!). However, I have noticed that I have become a LOT more picky about which new items I allow to enter my life.

I used to be able to go to the mall and find a whole bunch of new clothes to buy. Now I leave stores empty handed.

I used to buy CD after CD online. Now I can't find music I actually like. I think I used to just buy CDs for the sake of buying them, without really loving what I was purchasing.

I feel that all of this is a good thing - to a degree. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if I have become way too critical!

Posted 1 year ago #
ninakk
Member

Good question and even though we've been on it in other threads in other ways, this is still the question.

My replies depend on which angle you're asking your question from; earth or you?
- Earth loves you no matter which picky - positive or negative for you yourself - you end up being.
- If you decide to be picky because you don't need a thing, it's positive picky.
- If you need something but decide against it, it's negative picky.
- If you after a lot of scrutinizing still find an item desirable enough to have, yet decide against it anyway, it's also negative picky because you create stress to yourself.

The solution to the last alternative is to either buy it and be happy or to work with your feelings in an attempt to be honestly happy about not buying the thing; positive picky.

Posted 1 year ago #
themusiclivez
Member

@ninakk - You bring up some very good points. There truly isn't anything that I need right now... most of the things I am deciding against are things that I just don't absolutely love. When I do make a purchase, it's something that I truly wanted and I end up being happy with it. So I guess I am being positive picky, like you mentioned. I DID need a new white tee shirt to wear with a vest that I love. As soon as I found one, I bought it - need satisfied. However, I did turn down a few online that just didn't look quite right. The one I bought is great, and serves the purpose well.

This also makes me wonder: Did I just have SO MUCH excess prior to this new lifestyle that I didn't realize that I was purchasing items just for the sake of spending money? I am starting to believe this is the cause. After all, I didn't need 350 CDs. There was no way I was going to love ALL of them. I didn't need 35 pairs of shoes - of course some of them were going to hurt my feet. I really believe that I was so used to using shopping as a recreational activity that I never even realized that I didn't like what I was buying in the first place!

Posted 1 year ago #
chacha1
Member

themusiclivez, I am on your wavelength. I used to shop for entertainment and I ended up with a whole ton o' stuff I neither needed nor loved. As it makes its way out of my life, I just wonder at my state of mind during those years!

I have become MUCH more picky about what I want to buy, but I view it as being in a state of optimization, rather than a state of denial. I am no longer going to buy anything just because I think it will work, or I think I can make it work.

re: music: I still buy a lot of it, but fewer full-length CDs and more individual tracks. True audiophiles say mp3 quality is just not good enough, but you know? For my purposes, it's fine. :-)

Posted 1 year ago #
Astreja
Member

Yes, I've definitely become picky. Gone are the days of buying something because it looked cute, was on sale, might be useful two years down the road, or added to a collection. Things that used to have a lot of value for me, such as my read-once-and-put-in-a-box comic book collection, are looking pretty iffy right now.

And I'm definitely not getting caught in the gravitational pull of musical instrument stores nearly as often nowadays.

Posted 1 year ago #
Claycat
Member

I'm this way about clothes, but not about a lot of other "stuff". :(

Posted 1 year ago #
themusiclivez
Member

I wonder about my state of mind when I was recreational shopping as well! I was walking around wearing clothes I only "kinda" liked while listening to music that was subpar.

I also collected things like crazy (CDs, handbags, etc.). I can't even begin to tell you the relief I felt when I narrowed my handbags down to 7 from 18! What was I thinking? I didn't even like half of them!

Posted 1 year ago #
Ella
Member

I'm much pickier about accepting all the free stuff that's constantly foisted on me from every quarter. The other day I briefly stopped at the fringes of a cooking demo at a department store. The event hostess urged me to have a seat but I politely declined. Then she gathered up an armful of recipes, brochures, and whatnot in a big gift bag and presented them to me. You should have seen the incredulous look on her face when I declined that, too. I looked at that mass of paper and all I could see was a mass of fodder for my shredder. No thanks!

Posted 1 year ago #
Netleigh
Member

Yes, I'm definitely getting picky.
However I don't think I was buying stuff I only liked a bit. I liked it all. But over the years I didn't get rid of stuff and that's why there is a bit more stuff than fits in the cupboards.
I must admit it's an odd feeling in some shops where I see a lovely object and I can appreciate it's beauty but that I don't need it. I already have enough.

Posted 1 year ago #
lazycow
Member

Oh yeah, I'm incredibly picky now. Plus, I rarely venture into shops unless I have a real 'need' for something. Books are my crack though: I haven't bought a novel this year, because I don't think I'll ever find any new ones good enough to reread (I'm a BIG rereader!) I occasionally by a non-fiction book (I'm 'allowing' myself 1 per month) but I have to LOVE it. Some months I don't buy one at all. So different to the old me, who would just impulse-buy books like crazy!

Posted 1 year ago #
Emilie
Member

Yep, I'm much picker now that I've started decluttering. It's such a gargantuan task that it's totally turned me off from buying anything aside from what I absolutely can't live without. My mom has told me I'm "depriving myself" by not buying various odds and ends as the mood strikes me, but now I've come to see the clutter as depriving me of space, time, peace of mind, and money.

Posted 1 year ago #
Sky
Member

I am much more picky. I've lost my desire to shop for meaningless doo-dads that serve no purpose.

Less is more!

Posted 1 year ago #
bandicoot
Member

i am much much much pickier now.
i don't accept freebies, i pass on most non-consumable gifts to others, i've given up buying textiles and books when i travel.
i've realised that just because i am throwing a dinner party for ten, it doesn't mean i have to rush out and buy ten chairs that i will be stuck with for ever.
i can borrow a few and make do and then GIVE THEM BACK the next day.

after being crammed into one (albeit large) room for the last 6 years, now that we have separated our living and sleeping areas, i have been incredibly picky about what i am allowing into all the newly-formed space.
spacious, empty, clean, simple.....that is what speaks to me.

also, if i am allowing myself to have one of anything....i want the very best one i can find.
and i am prepared to wait.
there is absolutely not one single thing that i need right now.
shifting my focus from "what i want" to "what i already have" has been a very rewarding exercise for me and certainly part of my decluttering trip.

Posted 1 year ago #
Jackthetiger
Member

Absolutely true. I want less, I want things to be locally made using sustainable and ethical practices, and I am happy to pay for things that last.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mimi
Member

yes, decluttering made me VERY picky. and i like it!

but it doesn´t mean that i just buy _perfect_ things. yesterday, for example, i have been shopping because i needed some new running equipment. i didn´t spent a lot of money on clothes in the last month so my budget was... not unlimited but i had enough to buy whatever i needed or wanted to have. so i went to a special running equipment shop and i was willing to buy the best things for my needs. i tried on some jackets and shirts and saw the price tags and i really could not imagine why these brands cost 500% (or more) compared to the clothes i used to wear the last years. so i went to c&a and bought 2 trousers, 2 shirts and 2 jackets for running -plus 2 summerdresses :)- and i didn´t even spent half of the price of ONE running jacket from the other shop.
lesson learned: i got picky and i like it. but i also like to be relaxed concerning things and perfectionism. it´s also nice not to focus on things if they just have to fulfill some needs. i don´t have to LOVE everything. in this case, it´s just running equipment: i want to run, not to be a model on a catwalk. and i want to run though the woods without thinking: ooooh, theses branches / blackberries/ mud holes will destroy my expensive trousers…

but pragmatism could be a special sort of persnicketiness…

Posted 1 year ago #
Jackthetiger
Member

"Persnicketiness" What a great word Mimi!

Posted 1 year ago #
bandicoot
Member

mimi, often "the best" isn't "the most expensive and utterly fabulous".
i believe that "the best" is what suits your needs/wants most closely....ie the best for you.

i have a similar approach with glassware and china.
the best for me, is plain, white, readily replaceable and not wildly expensive.
we like to chip things around here from time to time and if we can replace it without having a nervous breakdown, then that is "best" for us.

Posted 1 year ago #
susanintexas
Member

I'm not sure that picky is the right term for me. Probably more aware.

* I'm more aware of what I already have in the house (plus, I can usually find it easily) so I'm unlikely to buy a duplicate out of ignorance.

* I'm more aware of the fleetingness of my whims because I've been disposing of things I just hadda get six months or a year ago; I'm being more reflective and realistic in my current acquisitions.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mimi
Member

@jackthetiger: honor to whom honor is due, this is a word suggested by leo´s dictionary. i could not find a word like "pickyness" and persnicketiness seemed to fit...

thank you bandicoot! yes, i think this is what it´s about, "the best" is a very subjective matter. PS: i still wonder what could make these jackets 5 times better than mine (build-in wings?!)- what if they would speed me up to a world record in cross-country race? :)

Posted 1 year ago #
irishbell
Member

oh yes, dh practically has to beg me to buy! when you get to the point of not needing stuff anymore for your home or person, you really need to put even more thought into your purchases, imo.

Posted 1 year ago #

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