Giving up on the china and crystal?

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Giving up on the china and crystal?

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Started 2 months ago by akcorcoran
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akcorcoran
Member

OK, so I'm haunted by this Unclutter decision.

I have a kitchen that has only three cabinets (three shelves each) with glass fronts for any tableware - everyday cups, mugs, wine glasses, bowls, serving pieces, dishes, anything. Not much storage. (Don't get me started on food storage - I have ONE cabinet for that!)

In one entire cabinet right now, I have two shelves of crystal - wedding crystal. (shelf below is our regular everyday wine glasses which we use regularly.) We use the gold-rimmed crystal approximately once a year. But, I keep them there because beyond looking pretty, I think that I might use them if I can see them. But, if they go in the basement in storage containers for crystal, I will simply *never* use them.

What to do?

The same applies to our china but I have those in a buffet in the dining room in those little storage cloth things, stacked so there's one for dinner plates, one for salad plates, etc. Takes up considerably less space but is still storage in my dining room if I wanted it. Again, if it goes in the basement, will I ever use it?

What do you think, oh Unclutterer experts?

Thanks!
Alexa

Posted 2 months ago #
Sky
Member

I think I have the same problem. A small kitchen with just enough storage for my dishes we use everyday. Then, I have 2 sets of china that were my Mothers. One set is boxed up in the attic and the other is stacked in the cabinet over the fridge. I occasionally use the china over the fridge, maybe once a year. My dilemma is whether to keep them at all. It reminds me of my Mom but it is formal and we aren't. I said I was only going to keep one teacup but I am having a hard time parting with the rest.
Some decluttering is hard!

Posted 2 months ago #
Another Deb
Member

China patterns are sometimes replaceable from online sources.(The Replacements.com ad is right here on the page as I type!) If you make note of the pattern and get rid of the china, there is a possibility that you can find a few pieces later if you miss it down the line. Someone out there may be craving your exact pattern and would display it and use it more often than you do right now.

I inherited a formal set of great-grand's china and have let my sister store and use it at her house instead. If I was using the china only to remember my family, I'd save a place setting and eat off of it on my birthday, or their birthday.

China is not sacred. I buy pieces I like at thrift stores and use them under flowerpots, or mosaic them ONto flower pots. I have also used china dishes to hold soap in the bathroom, or to collect change on the dresser. I've seen broken china made into bolo pendants, or jewelry. Plate hangers can turn a few dishes into a wall display easily. You can glue a mirror into the center to make a functional display.

In any case, you can always use it everyday to eat from. My Blue Willow collection is ancient and has been in the dishwasher on a daily basis with no breakage. Of course there is no gold trim on it and I don't microwave it.

Posted 2 months ago #
candy
Member

I had more or less the same problem a year ago for the glassware. I solved it by putting away the cheap, everyday glasses and started using the nice glassware instead. I have Orrefors crystal wine glasses from the 1950's, and a set of original Kaj Franck "Kartio" glasses, also from the 1950's for water and other drinks. Of course I can't put them in the dishwasher but the pleasure of using these glasses makes up for the very small amount of extra work.

I actually got rid of the cheap glasses a few weeks ago, I haven't used them at all. I have quite a lot of the nice glasses, so it's not a disaster if I happen to break one or two.

For china, I have only one set. But I have 18 pieces of each... which is a bit too much, but it's a set of china that I have always loved and wanted, and when it was given to me some 10 years ago I was very happy. I currently use 6 of each thing, and the rest is neatly stashed away in a cupboard in my bedroom. This china isn't made anymore, and I like to have the extra set to be able to replace if I break anything.

Would it be an option for you to put away some of the nice glassware/china but keep some of it for more or less everyday use? Even quite formal glassware/china can be used every day. You could at least try and see if you are comfortable with that.

Posted 2 months ago #
candy
Member

I agree with Another Deb, replacements.com is great! I've actually found many of my Orrefors glasses there. They even ship to Sweden without any problems whatsoever.

Posted 2 months ago #
Charity
Member

Tricky. I have a tea set, coffee set and a canteen of silver-plate cutlery that we have not used once since receiving them as wedding presents 8 years ago. I would love to be rid of them, but my husband isn't ready yet. We also have lots of nice glasses - 12 each for white wine, red wine and champagne. Almost all still have the original stickers on! I don't know what to do either. I suppose one day we might become different people and throw large fancy dinner parties, but it is unlikely! They are all in a sidebord (is that what Americans mean by buffet?) in the junk room (see my challenge thread) and I'm frustrated.

PS We got all these things because my mother-in-law insisted they go on our wedding list. She is a fancy party thrower and considers such things essential. And she has very cluttered houses.

Posted 2 months ago #
MellieTX
Member

I like Candy's suggestion. The only wine glasses we own are my "fancy" ones and we use them. I've used my other formal stemware to hold desserts. An ordainary fruit and yogurt parfait feels like more of a treat when I eat it in a nice glass.

Posted 2 months ago #
Lehcarjt
Member

My first thought on reading your question is to wonder about your age. I'm a mom with little kids, and up to this point (going through singlehood, early marriage, etc.) I haven't needed fine china, etc. But, my mother-in-law has all the family gatherings at her house and her china is out four or five times a year.

What I'm getting at, is that if you are in the young family or below years and not doing much entertaining then maybe you want to put everything in the basement with the idea that someday down the line you will use it more often. Or if you don't want to store stuff for that long, get rid of it because by the time you are entertaining for your kids and their spouses, etc., you might prefer a different style anyways.

If you are past a stage that I feel qualified to comment on and know that at no time in the future will you suddenly take up entertaining at home on a more frequent basis, then follow everyone else's suggestions. ~Grin.

Posted 2 months ago #
opadit
Member

I say give it up. If you don't use it every day or for some kind of regular occasions, then get rid of it.

I have a set of china that my mom handed down to me. I used to use it, but now it sits in the bottom drawer of a cabinet in my livingroom. I've decided that I'm going to get rid of everything but the salad plates and the serving platter, because I use those for parties. (I don't have dinner parties, but I do have friends over for wine and cheese or hors-d'oeuvres a few times per year.) Everything else -- dinner plates, teacups, saucers, sugarbowl, creamer, etc. -- is going out the door!

I never had any crystal. I do keep a set of a dozen glass goblets for parties, because my everyday glasses are mason jars. :) The goblets are stemmed and are serviceable for wine tastings or for plain water or iced tea. For my own personal wine consumption, I have two wine glasses, which may be crystal but I can't tell, that a former neighbor of mine was going to throw away.

It seems to me that china, crystal, and silver are seriously overvalued, both monetarily and emotionally. They're "supposed" to be on your registry when you get married, but few people use them -- I've been to parties where the host couple didn't want to use their wedding china, because the party wasn't formal enough. When were they going to have a formal-enough party, I'd like to know. And as for money, they seem to depreciate as badly as a new car does. You can get replacement pieces for really cheap on the Internet, and you can get nearly complete sets of wedding china at thrift stores for pennies on the dollar. Better not to get it in the first place. But if you do have it, kick it to the curb unless you use it a lot, I think.

Posted 2 months ago #
akcorcoran
Member

Hi everyone -

I feel so much better that there are others out there that have this dilemma! I do think it's generational too - we just don't live as formal of an entertaining life as folks used to, but there is a part of me that likes to hold on to the idea of it.

Part of the issue is if I only knew then what I know now - I got married at 25 and everything is gold-edged and therefore must be handwashed (ugh!) but half of the china brands that are out there now that aren't edged in a metal didn't exist then! And, my crystal is too. That's probably the big barrier to using it.

And, to Another Deb's point, I wish it all wasn't so matchy matchy. I actually did get two patterns when I got married and they are mixed (which was a gasp! from my mom and MIL) but I love seeing all mixed patterns and glasses - it brings such life to a table. And, while it's not anything in my aesthetic, I love, love, loved the table for the wedding in the movie Mama Mia - did you see it? It was all these beautiful dishes and mixed glass and colored pieces. Ah!

So, I think I could get more adventurous as I go but really can't go with getting rid of all of it right now. Lehcarjt asked my age - and I'm exactly where you think. I've got two daughter 6 and 7 1/2 years old, and we pull a formal dinner party off once every six months, I'm ecstatic!

But it is a goal of mine to begin to entertain more as my girls get older and to USE the things that are nice and not "Save them for when..." I like Candy's suggestion too. We have about 4 sets of "casual" glasses too - I've resolved to give away the durn martini and margarita glasses - oh, and did I mention we have barware too! But, I like the idea of using some of the fancier glasses and maybe I could mix up the sets and that will be my start towards the idea of a unique identity in my entertaining life!

I am thinking of all this because I am also reading The Happiness Project (highly recommend it, love it and she has some fantastic definitions of clutter - matched right up with my life and it's right in Chapter 1!) and the two go hand in hand for me. It's not just a clutter problem, it's a "what would I like to do with my social self?" question and "what makes me happy when I think of socializing, especially in my home?" I think storing it all says, "Oh, give up." But, if I maybe approach it with a mindset of CHOOSING what I like and is what I'll use (not just sentimental or even "guilt" clutter), then I'll feel happy with it.

Ay, thanks for all your thoughts - I'll keep reading and thinking. I hope this helps others too! Maybe I should have emailed it as an official "Unclutterer" question. ;-)

Alexa

Posted 2 months ago #
zchristy
Member

I'm not getting rid of mine, because it is really simple (white with etched calla lily), matches everything, and 8 place-settings fit in a small cupboard above my stove.

For me, it's about priorities. It may not be used every day, but it was a wedding gift from my late Grandmother and it is precious.

Uncluttering is a priority, but not at the expense of something that is a treasure to me. It's about removing the frivolous, unused and unnecessary.

Posted 2 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

hi, i am new here!

i used to be a chef, so i had a LOT of kitchen stuff.
i've removed many things over the years and especially lately (we had a much needed and long overdue kitchen renovation last year).
as far as "good" china and crystal and napery and cutlery goes....my policy is to use it and enjoy it every single day.

if we smash a piece....and it's inevitable...we don't weep over it.
i'll simply replace it if it is replaceable and live without it if it isn't.
to that end, i prefer plain stuff that is fine and expensive, but easy to replace and easy to match.
i do entertain a bit and i want my guests to be relaxed and i do like things to be nice...but not at the cost of my mental health!

Posted 2 months ago #
akcorcoran
Member

I love that spirit - use it everyday and enjoy - if only there wasn't the handwashing! Although maybe I just put it in the dishwasher and accept that in years it will wear off and then I'll get something new/different or not replace it all!

Sigh. I'm not still sure I've satisfied my uncluttering dilemma here -through no fault of anyone here. Quite the opposite! I got so much through from you all that I'm just trying to think over the approach that makes me comfortable.

Meanwhile I walk past those cabinets, trying not to look at them so that I'll feel frustrated over what to do! :-)

Posted 2 months ago #
candy
Member

Maybe you could at least use the nice glassware/china on weekends to start with? Sunday dinner?

Posted 2 months ago #
Zora
Member

I was given wedding silver (an OLD, valuable set) by my then mother-in-law and gave it to my ex when he left. Good riddance. I am happy with my mother's stainless cutlery (50 years old and going strong) and a set of plain white Corelle. Rarely breaks, easily replaced.

My clutter is books and cloth. I can feel virtuous about simplicity in other things and then I look at the books ...

Posted 2 months ago #
Nina
Member

Use them or get rid of them. I personally only have one set of nice plates and dieshes that we use every day but it's nice enough to have aswell when ever we have guests.
So if you really like the nice china (more then the other plates you have) then why not replace the normal one with the nicer one? It will get worn (faster) that way, but at least you got to eat of nice plates every day (instead of just once a year). To me life it too short to save the nice china just for special days.

Posted 2 months ago #
morfydd
Member

Psst: Just because it's gold-edged doesn't necessarily mean it can't go into the dishwasher.

My Noritake silver-edged dishes do fine in the dishwasher, edge and pattern both. The Waterford crystal not so much, but as I had a mix of silver-edged and plain, I ended up with a whole set of plain-edged crystal. :)

(Use a good quality dish detergent, though, to avoid etching, but that's true no matter what dishes/glasses you wash.)

Also, you don't have to keep the whole set accessible, even if you're using it every day. Keep two-meals-worth in your every-day cupboard, and the rest can be packed away for big dinners or when things break. Which they will, but it's ok. It's just a dish, and it can be replaced.

Posted 2 months ago #
nellieb
Member

I mix and match my Waterford and Star of Edinburgh crystal.

We use our crystal all the time. I have three regular glasses, a few plastic ones with lids for the car or when I'm outdoors, and that's it.

I bought some nice, totally plain white china...a set of either 4 or 6 pieces. It's currently in storage due to a very small kitchen and limited storage. I miss it because I used it all the time. I limited it to the pieces used at most meals, dinner plate, salad bowl, plate for rolls. I did not buy the cups and saucers as I have enough mugs around for drinking tea or hot chocolate.

I believe china and crystal should be used even when it's just you eating!

Posted 2 months ago #
Laetitia in Australia
Member

Just a side note regarding crystal: It gets promoted as something to be used for alcoholic drinks. This should be avoided! Crystal contains lead (between 24 and 33%) that can be leached out, particularly by liquids that have a pH further away from 7.

While the leaching effect won't be significant during the course of a meal, you shouldn't store alcohol or jam in crystal containers http://www.thenibble.com/REVIEWS/MAIN/wine/lead-crystal.asp

Posted 2 months ago #
chacha1
Member

Can I just add to the "use it" voices? Why have it if you're not using it? At least once a week, maybe that's as often as you can manage, but use it. Who knows, you may get tired of it and decide you aren't at all conflicted about getting rid of it. :-)

The trouble with keeping things just "in case the kids want them someday" is, if you don't use them, the kids won't have any good memories associated with them. It'll just be this old stuff from the basement.

Stemware is a problem in our house. We have good stuff that came from our wedding registry. We have cheap stuff that came with our everyday, pressed-glass banquetware. We have free stuff, gifts and promotional glasses from wineries. We drink wine almost daily and we don't even TRY not to break the damn things! They're proliferating! I'm seriously about to give half of them away!

Posted 2 months ago #

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