Finding time to unclutter

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Started 2 years ago by KarenS
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KarenS
Member

Hello All!

I'm sure this isn't a new story, so please feel free to direct me somewhere on the forum if there is already a discussion that answers my question.

And here is my question:How do I find time to declutter? I work full time and have two small boys (ages 3 & 4). I am married, and my husband also works full time and also works (though a more "fun" job) on many weekends.

Our basement is an awful mess, with boxes of papers, random stuff, more stuff, and oh...junk, too! Much of it needs to go, but there is seriously important stuff mixed in with the junk. My bedroom has stacks of papers that need sorting, filing, recycling as well. The kitchen is okay, our main living spaces are tolerable, and the boys' rooms aren't awful...but the basement is large (the length of our home, which is a sprawling ranch). I'm at a loss! I try to enlist my boys for help in the basement on the weekends, but they get into stuff and things get worse rather than better. I am exhausted by the time my guys are in bed and, I just can't figure out how to tackle this job. Help! What have you all done to make this work?

Most sincerely,
Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

Hi Karen, and welcome :o)

I SO know how you feel. Sigh!

I think the secret is: Find out what works for you! And tackle manageable chunks at a time, and take breaks so you're not completely drained out after two days. With "chunks", I mean: For example, take 30 minutes in one area, or take one box/drawer/whatever at a time. To find out what works best for you and your family, either don't involve your kids and declutter for only 20 minutes every day, or do involve the whole family on the weekend and make it a 2-hour game of "who can find the weirdest stuff in the basement", or "who can find more items for the garbage in 30 seconds" or something in between, or something completely different.

I'm sure there will be loads of more helpful comments here, so I'll just post a few threads that may help you as they touch a similar subject -- there is a lot of great advice in there:
* http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/overwhelmed-newbie <- great step-by-step advice here
* http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/tired-overwhelmed-overloaded-by-decluttering <- shows you you're not alone
* http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/house-keeping-routines <- mostly routines and "maintenance mode", but a few gems of uncluttering advice are in there. Also, Flylady.net gets mentioned (if you don't know it yet, check it out, it might work for you)
I was sure there was a post about how to unclutter with kids and get them involved in this forum, or did I read that somewhere else? I can't find it now. Oh well, maybe someone else will find it :o)

Good luck! And if you need to vent or if you need someone to cheer you on -- this is the place to go :o)

Posted 2 years ago #
Sky
Member

KarenS....Start with a kitchen drawer while you wait for water to boil, a bathroom cabinet or linen closet while your boys are in the bathtub, etc. Ten minutes a day can make a huge difference over time....and it does take time! Have lots of trash bags on hand and start tossing.
Good luck

Posted 2 years ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

Maybe it's because I haven't had a little one around in a long time, but there is no way I'd let a 3 & 4 year old help unless it's their stuff :)

Whatever you decide, the big thing is to do something even if it's just one item a day. It worked for me, and others, and there is someone on this forum doing the same.

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Trillie, Sky, and JuliaJayne - I appreciate your quick and thoughtful responses!

Trillie, thanks for the links to the other discussions. I look forward to reading! Your chunking suggestion makes a ton of sense. It's something I do at work, but I haven't applied it to decluttering (duh). And, I appreciate the offer for venting/cheering on. I need both!

Sky - Thanks for the reminder that even 10 minutes a day can make a difference!

JuliaJayne - I like the idea of doing at least one thing each day. That way I will feel a little less overwhelmed and like I'm getting somewhere (I hope!).

I'll give it a try tonight and see how things go. I'm sure I'll be back here soon!

Karen (Sorry for all of the exclamation points, but it's just so nice to check in here and see responses.)

Posted 2 years ago #
365lessthings
Member

Hi KarenS,
I take the "Neil Armstrong" approach to declutter (one small step...one giant leap...)(and I will add some links here so you can read more about it on my blog.
http://www.365lessthings.com/?p=148
http://www.365lessthings.com/?p=89
http://www.365lessthings.com/?p=27
Also check out a this topic I started here on unclutterer forums http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/the-neil-armstrong-approach-to-uncluttering

Hopefully something in one of these posts will help you on your way. The one thing to remember is it didn't accumulate overnight so don't expect it to disappear overnight so focas on the one thing you can manage to do today and be happy with that then find one more thing to do tomorrow. Some days you will have more time and inspiration than others but just remember every little step matters and appreciate it for what it is.

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Hi 365lessthings,

Thanks for the links, and I look forward to reading your blog. I love the idea of the "Neil Armstrong" approach. Everyone is sending me a similar message, which is to do a little bit every day. It's such a common sense idea, really, but when faced with piles of clutter, all I feel is overwhelmed, as if I can never really tackle the task. However, I'm seeing evidence that other people have succeeded by taking small steps, and that will help me take action when I'm feeling hopeless.

Off to read some blogs! (Luckily I'm proctoring an exam this morning and have a little time to read. Phew.)

Thanks again,
Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
Aunt Cloud
Member

Karen - best of luck! you won't regret a minute you have spent on decluttering.

My $0.02 is to designate a place for the "keep" stuff to go, and start small - same as everyone else's opinion. It will be slow going at first, and with each day you will be able to breathe a little easier. I was very grouchy about my basement right after moving into a house that has significantly less storage space than the last one. It is still far from perfect, but it's functional. And even seeing one little corner that is *organized* gives me hope for the rest of the basement.

If you have lots of papers in your bedroom, I would start there and tackle the rest of the house when your bedroom is clear. Think about the filing systems you have had in your life and evaluate what worked and what didn't. I discovered that accordion files, hanging files and (God forbid) boxes were not my friends, but that folders with tabs and plenty of sheet protectors were. I actually had multiple filing systems, and gradually I ditched the redundant files and was left with a shelf full of neat folders.

Get everything you need for organizing the papers (my list: folders, label stickers, tabs, pocket protectors, 3-hole punch, a stapler and tape), and tackle one small pile. When your half-hour is over, put all your supplies and newly organized papers into a bag or box. Rinse and repeat the next evening, and soon it will become a habit. But definitely start with the bedroom, you will breathe much easier.

I wouldn't involve young children with decluttering, they get easily overwhelmed and are confused about what is junk and what is a keeper. The bedroom sounds like a project that can be completed in a week or two of nightly filing/sorting sessions.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Posted 2 years ago #
mayhem
Member

Good question. I can't stand clutter but I work full time and go to school part time. My wife also works and goes to school. When ever I have a few hours of free time I clean the whole apartment (tiny one bedroom), except for the closets and drawers and other hidden clutter areas. I enjoy the nice clean apartment for a day and THE VERY NEXT DAY the place is a mess again!!!

So, I guess my point is, the best way to find time to unclutter is to change your habits so that you clean and organize as you go (put your dishes away, hang your coat up, clean up after yourself). I still need to work on that. Once I change my ways and keep visible things clean as I go, then that will free up time to clean out the "hidden clutter". I hope that made sense.

Posted 2 years ago #
chacha1
Member

I agree that the best place to start is your bedroom. Create a refuge for yourself! And lay down the law about what you want in there. Don't let anything come in that would disrupt your peace. (Obv I don't mean exclude the kids ... just that e.g. when they come in, if they bring toys, the toys go out when the kids do.)

@mayhem: yes, exactly. After a while you will find that a tidy apartment stays that way with almost no effort. It is SO much easier and faster to dust/vacuum/sweep when the litter is managed daily.

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions. I have a lot to write in response and no time now, so I'll be back later...But I wanted to thank you all for your time!

Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Aunt Cloud,

Sometimes I do consider pushing all of the junk to one end of the basement in order to make the other usable. Part of the problem is that I don't have a home for much of the "keep" stuff because nothing in the basement is set up for "living." It was a repository of stuff when we moved in and was never completely unpacked, thus inviting more stuff to live there.

I should definitely deal with my bedroom first, as you suggested. Some of the papers are so random, and there are lots of photos, artwork from my little ones, etc. Sometimes I do have to dig through the stacks to find things that I need, but a lot of it must be outdated by now. I'll find out, I guess! There is a desk in the room and I'm thinking it should go out, too, as it just invites us to put stuff on it and we don't actually do any paperwork in there. It's holding a small TV at the moment (which I'd be happy to ditch as well, but my husband would miss it), but I'm sure I can find something else for that. Hm.

Thanks again!
Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Mayhem,

I hear you on how quickly things can go from tidy to terrible. We cleaned like mad (and I even added to the giveaway pile) before my son's birthday party, and the house stayed together for about a week and a 1/2. Throw a few changes into our schedule (later than usual from work or husband away for the weekend) and all hell breaks lose. *sigh*

I, too, need to change my habits to clean up as I go. I've made great strides in this area, but I'm not quite there yet. I think part of the issue is that there is so much clutter that not everything has a home, and I'm often left with stuff that has a purpose but no category or space. But still, I don't always do the dishes after dinner or put the laundry away when it's been folded. I want to spend some time with my kids! And, sadly, I'm often asleep as soon as they are, so I get little done in the evenings. I'll have to work on that. But your post about cleaning up as one goes makes a lot of sense, and it's a renewed goal of mine!

Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

chacha1,

I do need a refuge, though I'm hardly in my bedroom these days! But, each night before I go to sleep and upon waking, I see the clutter I so want to be done with. For that reason alone, I am vowing to deal with it this weekend. We'll see what happens!

Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
Aunt Cloud
Member

Karen, you'll feel the difference after 10 minutes of going through the paperwork! I just realized that you'll be doing the "fun" kind of decluttering, where you organize stuff and get it out of your bedroom and into files for good. All you have to do afterwards is keeping the papers in the living room and kitchen, and declaring the bedrooms a paper-free zone.

I'm with you about laundry and dishes, it looks like you need to re-do these as soon as you think you're done. But once you get over the challenge of finding a place for everything, I find it's much easier to confine stuff to its permanent home.

About kids art work - my kids are in elementary school and I can attest that their artwork seems to multiply on its own. I have a medium sized box that lives on the top shelf of each kid's closet. If their creations make it through the door and onto the fridge, they stay there for a week or two and then I decide if they're going into the recycle bin or into the memory box. When the memory box fills up, I re-assess.

My house is far from being a minimalist haven - and until a few weeks ago, my basement was filled with boxes and no functional space. We recently moved into a house that has no garage and half the size of basement as the previous house, and it's all I can do so I wouldn't feel completely overwhelmed. I wouldn't want to be a minimalist anyway, it goes against my nature - but I enjoy having every square inch of my house being put into good use or storing things that actually get used.

Keep us posted!

Posted 2 years ago #
bandicoot
Member

if i were you, i'd break it down into small chunks, small steps, and just get started.
you will find it has a cumulative effect!

my own decluttering started slowly (two items a day!) and ended with a bang.
i made it an absolute priority for some months and now i am so glad that i did.

i talked to my husband a lot about what i was doing and why, and he got on board with it too. (a partner on the same page is such a huge bonus).

i cannot describe to you how much faster it is to clean this place, now that i have decluttered. or how much longer things seem to stay clean. or how much more organised i am, because i can put my hand on anything i own, in ten seconds.
it is all well worth the investment of time and energy.

i think the fact that you have found your way here, speaks volumes.
you've got the intent and that's half the battle, really.
be kind to yourself and set a realistic pace.
it has taken me about a year, with some renovation along the way....and i don't have kids. it's just me, the husband and 6 cats.
we do have a hectic work schedule and we travel a lot, so that diverted a lot of time from the project.
if you are mentally ready to declutter, then you will find the time to do it.

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

Good morning!

I started decluttering this weekend. I decided to go with the idea of NO papers in the bedroom. I knew I wouldn't have time to go through them all, and that I needed my bedroom to be tidy so I wouldn't dread being in there. So, I took all of the papers and other random little things that shouldn't have been there and dumped them all in a storage tub and put it on the dining room table. I can go through a little bit at a time while my kids are playing, etc., and won't be trapped in my bedroom.

Once the papers were out, I put all of the piles of clothes away (and sent some to the donation pile!), vacuumed, dusted, and sorted through the BOOKS! Holy moly, there were a lot of books. I dumped a bunch in the basement of doom (but there are bookshelves there) as they are reference books I still need, and the ones I'm currently reading went in a small basket by my nightstand.

I moved the desk out to the "office" so it would stop inviting paper to join it, and put my husband's TV on a smaller (but stable) stand.

Now, to keep my bedroom clean, all I have to do is put my laundry away and dust and vacuum. The papers will be out in the kitchen where I can deal with them as they come in. (I'm so much better about this now, but the stuff in my bedroom was leftover from the last 2 years!)

Feeling like I made a little progress... Tonight I hope to tackle a few papers from the bin. AND, we left the house today with NO dishes in the sink. Some kind of miracle.

Thanks for reading this far, and for your decluttering support!
Karen

Posted 2 years ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

Wow, you are going so great! I think working in your bedroom first was the best place to start. It seems to have been a motivating force for you.

I really enjoyed hearing about your progress. Keep us posted, ok?

Posted 2 years ago #
Claycat
Member

It sounds like you are moving along! It's nice to have a bedroom that feels like a haven. Just having a calm place to relax is so great.

Posted 2 years ago #
KarenS
Member

JuliaJayne - I will keep you posted. I'm pretty motivated to declutter anyway, but having a forum in which I can account for my progress is really nice and an additional little nudge to keep me moving. (And, I got the suggestion to start w/ my bedroom here. It was great advice.)

Claycat - It's been awhile since my bedroom felt like a haven. Seeing it this morning was so nice. Plus, it's really hot here right now and the piles of clothes and papers would've made it feel so much worse.

There was a related post on a blog I read that I came across this morning: http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/05/7-benefits-of-living-with-less-stuff/

Posted 2 years ago #

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