@susan, xarcady and Rosa, thanks for your replies
susan, you have some good points there, especially the 'leaving traces' theory sounds applicable to my DH, he needs a lot acknowledgement and praise. Sometimes it's weird: I give him exaggerated positive feedback on something he did (with a twinkle in my eye) and he gets happy as a hippo, smiling like crazy. If someone would give me same praise for a normal chore, I'd be embarrassed. Therefore it might be better in his world to not finish something as the half part done will be recognized for sure. And secondly (referring to (2)) as i mentioned earlier, he had no good role model, if any.
Could this behaviour be a male thing? I remember my mother saying, if she wanted my father something to do in the house (never housekeeping, but building or renovating tasks), she'd prepare the site and after THE task was done tidy and clean after him, put away things.....My father was very handy and talented and as a trained handcraft specialist did the jobs properly . All in all my father and DH are very different characters expect when it comes to this particular behaviour.
Distraction often leads to things only being halfway done also on my side. But like Rosa, incompleteness is not the rule or intention, it just happens and after the more important thing is done, I'd get back to where I was and finish it. So this 'excuse' is not valid for my DH.
When dealing with children I know that your communication has to be detailed and precise as the little ones just don't know everything that should be included in 'clear the table'. But my DH will turn 40 this year and before we moved together had his own appartement for about 10 years. So I refused up till now to talk to him as he was retarded. Only with tasks that occur seldom like recycling collection, I'd be very precise in my instructions. But every evening telling him instead of 'get the baby ready for the night' telling him 'brush his teeth, wash his face and hands, change the diapers, put on the pyjama, get him a clean comforter and throw the old clothes to the laundry and the diaper in the bin.....' this gives me the chills.
Anyway, thanks for your suggestions. I came to think of a method that might work with him. I could sit down with him and work out which sub tasks belong to certain chores and define them. On top we could make the agreement, that for what reason ever, one of us does not finish the complete chore, needs to inform the other so that this one isn't negatively surprised and/or can decide to do the outstanding work. If he'd inform me that he only managed to empty the dishwasher halfway, I wouldn't go crazy when I find out just when I try to fill it with dirty dishes.
