Wow, great comments! I'm glad that pkilmain added the "other side of the story", because the point is precisely not to divide anyone into "us" and "them". One of my best friends suffers from the knowledge of her being the sloppy one and feels tremendous guilt at times.
I'm also grateful to hear stories from different phases of this endeavour. Situations might go into standstill whereas they might jump forward in giant heaps once another member suddenly sees the light so to speak. Personally, I refuse to believe that there's no hope.
@DanielleandTom: I do the dorky thing at times, too *grin*
@susanintexas: I hear you on the content part. Peace of mind and acceptance will help us a lot more than anger or resentment. How was dinner (date with DH? I'm nosy...)? Is there more to come from your direction? You seem to have decluttered well and done some great thinking in parallel.
@writing all the time: Yes, I agree. He has to take care of his own stuff, but when it comes to shared things one quickly becomes a hotel and restaurant service. And angry.
@JuliaJayne: This was particularly useful for me as I'm the one with gazillion things in comparison to H.
@Jude2004: Do you mean to say that you do it in your own pace, without the rest participating that much? Impressive to stay so calm if that's the case!
@bandicoot: Two years from now *dreamy eyes* I'm a bit envious but on the other hand I don't want the process to go too fast either. I have a lot to learn still, am trying to find a place for each thing, but also do I need to do better at putting away those that already have been assigned a spot.
@Rosa: It really makes a difference once we start to accept our habits and work with them the way you describe. A very good point!
@SunshineR: Oh, how I love to compromise :) It's difficult at times, especially when I'm anxious to finish a project and nothing happens. I've concluded that I need to learn how to use a drill or some things will never change here.
@lottielot: I'm sending you good vibes from here, because frustrations can really eat us. Sounds like you benefit the most from simply carrying on in your own tempo and then DH will follow in his. The kids on the other hand can still be worked on, luckily. My dad tells me my sister and I used to throw the jackets on the entryway floor until he started doing the same when coming home from work. Apparently it had startled us very much, because dads aren't supposed to do so silly things. Jackets were hung up neatly after his little protest action.
@Charity: Do you think it would benefit your family if you or your husband would have a talk with your MIL? Otherwise it sounds like you can look forward to a never-ending flood of stuff until the kids move out :( It also sounds like she wants to be a part of her grandchildrens' lives, but maybe it could be directed more constructively? You could suggest some activity that she could finance or something similar. Our grandmother sometimes paid for our piano lessons when money was tight and then she was invited to each concert at the musical institute. She loved it.
