If they are really your clothes, then your mom does not have a say as to whether you keep them or get rid of them. Just do it. What's the worst that could happen?
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Posted 1 year ago #
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You said that you and your mother have had "more than one argument over this stuff." Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to argue. I would stop engaging her in any discussion over the clothes. I would let her express her opinion, say nothing, and then (after she leaves) donate or trash the clothes.
Posted 1 year ago # -
JayEff- perfect compromise! I learned to do this as well with my Mom after many years of us each giving our view on something and never agreeing. In the end it's not worth it to disagree over something like clothes. You give her the respect by listening to what she says, and you do what you need to do after hearing her out. If she asks you what you did with certain things/clothes, you can answer honestly and giver her your reasoning,but only once. Then that conversation is over!
Posted 1 year ago # -
are you earning your own money and buying your own clothes with that money? If so, do exactly what you want with them.
Otherwise, put them in a box in the basement/attic/linen closet/garage and leave it at that (you don't have to wear them or keep them in your room), but I find it dreadfully cheeky of a teenager to be turning up her nose at something provided for her.
So, either you pay for it out of money you have earned (not money you are given without earning it, that doesn't count), or you suck it up until you can.
Posted 1 year ago # -
@djk:
And then tell mom "stop buying me junk I don't need"?I remember one Christmas, my mom got me a pair of those dreadfully ugly Ugg boots. Just before I opened it, she told me to tell her if I didn't like anything because she'd rather return it for something I'll use than have wasted the money. I opened it, did as I was told (said I didn't like them)...and was scolded. "What do you mean you don't like them? They're exactly what you need!" I'm still trying to figure out how to convince family to stop buying me Christmas presents.
Posted 6 months ago # -
maco- good luck with that! I struggled with that with my mom for years ( I'm 55) until she passed last year!
she would NEVER give money, gift card, or anything specific I asked for, ever.
so I finally gave up and accepted her gifts with gratitude, there was NO changing her mind.
Edit: one year (over 20 years ago) I did ask her to take the stuff back and let me choose the clothes I needed.
boy howdy! that was the first and last time I did that! she did it but was spitting mad and let me know!Posted 6 months ago # -
I used to beg - BEG - for books. That was all I wanted. A gift certificate to the half price bookstore. Never got one, not once. I do remember being a total brat about an outfit my grandmother gave me, and realizing years later she had made it herself and feeling oh, so awful.
Posted 6 months ago # -
My mom bought me a few things (clothes) that I begged for. It didn't happen often, I guess, so even though we didn't have buckets o' cash she tried to get things if I reallyreallyreally wanted them.
Then I had to wear them over & over again long after I got tired of them (these were, invariably, trendy things) because otherwise I'd feel guilty about it.
My dear mom. She even let me wear the sparkly blue Aziza eye shadow!
Posted 6 months ago # -
@maco--if one is accepting money, shelter, food, space from a parent, then he/she is not independent and doesn't have equal say in things. Please notice I didn't say "no say", but not equal say. Of course, it is better if the parent doesn't buy unwanted gifts, and discussions to that end could be helpful.
Otherwise, the courteous thing to do is say, "thank you" and then drop it off in a donation bin on your way home.
Posted 6 months ago # -
OP, how old are you (not specifics, just things like 'high school' or college-aged' or 'recent grad'i would be enough for this purpose)?
I don't know about others, but I have to say that I'd have radically different takes on the situation depending on your age. That includes radically different takes on why your mom may be acting the way she is re: decluttering.
Posted 6 months ago #
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