do you hate buying gifts?

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Started 11 months ago by genny
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genny
Member

I just absolutely hate buying gifts! I am the world's worst gift buyer!
I also do not like to receive gifts. They are often useless, not of one's own taste, and hard to get rid of.
How many of us have, or have had, items that were so very hard to get rid of because they were gifts?

When the winter shopping season comes up on us, I am really in panic mode.
This past shopping season, husband and I just opted out of the gift angst. It was so peaceful.
But, there are so many other occasions where we are expected to give a gift.

I remember the last baby shower that I went to. The young lady got SO much stuff that I am certain that she spent some time and effort returning most of it to the store for store credit.
My daughter is first time pregnant right now. We have decided to not have a baby shower because it obligates people so much. And, there is already so much obligation what with graduations and weddings.
Besides, we have had the greatest time at yard sales just nickel and dimming for baby items.
We also did not have a wedding shower, for the same reasons.
Most people just have too much stuff already, anyway. The yard sales and the Goodwill are full of unwanted gifts that other people have decluttered.

it is so hard for me to buy a gift. I don't want very much of anything and it is hard for me to understand why anyone would want most of what I see.

Posted 11 months ago #
KeKeD
Member

If you are the worst, then I must be second worst. Yes, I hate to both give and get presents unless a registry is involved. I truly appreciate when people think of me but would much rather spend time with them than have them spend money. I have gotten some wonderful gifts but they are usually something people gave of themselves rather than bought. Far too many gifts have been returned or donated through the years. I hate to shop, even for myself and don't feel comfortable buying for someone else unless I know it is something they really want so wedding and baby registries are appreciated. Growing up, we made lists (even as young adults) for birthdays and Christmas and it was shared with loved ones so buying was easier. I am having angst today because we are visiting my dad (always hard to buy for) and I bought him a tool bag because he commented that he liked my husband's and that might be the solution he needs for his current volunteer work but don't know if it is the right size or if he already bought one since we talked. Ha! too many negative voices.

Posted 11 months ago #
Anita
Member

I sympathise with you, although I can't empathise. I love buying gifts, and I'm hardly ever stuck for what to get; there are one or two choice people that I hate shopping for (people with no hobbies or discernable interests), but even those are rarely an issue.

I'm not sure if your post is asking for advice or just ranting and looking for agreement, but for anyone who hates gift shopping, here's my dead easy guide to making people happy, if you're only looking to put in minimal effort (or if you're really stuck) and don't want to clutter up your time, or theirs:

1. Find out what your friend/family member is looking/shopping for. Most people tend to have a future purchase in mind, or something they're shopping or saving for: a new TV, reupholstering a piece of furniture, renewing their work wardrobe, replacing their go-to purse, planning a trip etc. A 5-minute conversation is usually enough to gauge what's on their mind.
2. Pick a store that fits the above theme as well as the person's taste.
3. Go to that store (or that store's web site) and buy a gift card.
4. Pair it with a nice card explaining why you picked that particular gift card. In my opinion, this keeps gift cards from being impersonal, because it shows you pay attention to the person's needs and put thought into your gift.
5. If you really want to go over the top, add a box of chocolates/biscuits or a bottle of whatever the gift recipient likes to drink, or flowers, or any other consumable you know they enjoy and which fits the occasion.

Done!

Posted 11 months ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

I hate cluttery gifts. I used to have a big problem getting rid of them, but eventually they go. And I refuse to buy cluttery gifts.

I'm a big fan of gift cards, getting and receiving. We have given restaurant cards to our parents, have them over for a special meal, or do difficult jobs for them. They appreciate this more than you'd think. I also like homemade gifts of food, or offering services. For someone close who has just had a baby: a restaurant gift card and the promise to babysit so they can get away for a few hours is great. I also adore the mindless convenience of the gift registry for weddings and showers. Cash for graduations -- always.

My husband and I are getting away from exchanging gifts. Actually, sometimes I buy myself gifts and show them to him. lol. This year for mother's day, I bought a dry erase/magnetized message board, and little adorable magnets (think of an erasable post-it) and a magnetized pen with a little eraser on the cap to replace the chalkboard. We used the chalkboard daily, but I hated the chalk dust. The first thing he did on mother's day was to hang the board. We were both happy: me, because I got something useful and solved several problems at the same time, him, because he didn't have the pressure of shopping for a gift, but he was able to do something for me that I don't have the patience to do myself. He mentions how much he likes the board every time he writes down something we need from the grocery store on one of the little magnets. Items needed from somewhere other than the grocery store, like we need a new color ink cartridge, is on another little post-it magnet. We keep invitations, our to-do list, and anything out of the ordinary that needs to be tended to during the upcoming week on the board. It's an organizing dream for me.

We just celebrated out 30 year wedding anniversary on Monday by going out for a nice dinner at our favorite restaurant. No gift necessary - just a good time. One year we decided to get a new grill for our anniversary. A few years ago we promised it was going to be the year of concert going. The concerts were gifts that covered all occasions. It was so much fun. I'm hoping we can do that again next year.

Posted 11 months ago #
Sky
Member

I don't like shopping at all or buying gifts. We stopped giving gifts except our grandchildren and told everyone we don't want anything but there are people that give us stuff anyway. They think we 'need' things.

If an occasion arises that I have to give a gift I usually go for flowers or some other consumable.

I'm not a scrooge....I just think everyone is overwhelmed with stuff.

Posted 11 months ago #
susanintexas
Member

I love giving gifts! Especially to people I know well. It's fun to focus on them for a while and think about what they would like and then to find something that is perfect for them.

Like Anita, I like giving gift cards to unusual or new places. But not always unusual -- I have a friend whose Starbucks habit is bigger than her wallet and she's thrilled with the card I give her every year for her birthday. Or a gift certificate to a restaurant I know they will like but not yet tried. Teens love movie gift cards. Spa cards, manicures, -- little luxuries people might not spring for themselves. For a house warming gift I usually give a garden center gift certificate.

I love giving books. Jim, who will be just getting back from 2 week in France, will be getting "The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris" by David G. McCullough for his birthday this year. I often give craft books to kids -- on the emergency gift shelf are a couple of origami books teaching how to make things from dollar bills -- and I'll slip in a couple of crisp ones.

I just got a young friend a baby gift -- a family membership to the botanical gardens. They live three blocks from it. For other babies I've given zoo memberships.

Getting gifts? Not so much. I love the idea but the execution is often lacking.

Posted 11 months ago #
camellia tree
Member

My mom used to say, when choosing a gift for someone, figure out what they have the most of and buy them more of it :)

I do love to give gifts, but try to stick to consumables that I know they will want, gift cards, etc.

Posted 11 months ago #
Ella
Member

I love to give and receive chocolate, for any and all occasions. :-)

Posted 11 months ago #
Sky
Member

I do love buying gifts and experiences (zoo, museums, etc.) for my grandchildren.

Posted 11 months ago #
pkilmain
Member

I'm a big fan of consumable gifts, handmade gifts, gift cards and registries! I don't want more stuff, and I assume most other people don't either. Susan's ideas are great, and show that you're not just giving randomly, but rather choosing thoughtful gifts even though they're not things. My DH and I don't give each other cards or gifts for anything beyond Christmas and birthdays, and then we usually ask what the other would like, though occasionally inspiration hits :) For Christmas we usually discuss things we as a couple would enjoy, like concert tickets - once a new lamp. For my birthday this year I asked for and got an Amazon GC so my kindle is happy. Our rule for our family is generally that only young children get Christmas presents (a necessity since we're down to the great-greats). We send birthday cards to those we're closest to.

Posted 11 months ago #
lottielot
Member

I hate receiving presents and I hate giving them to people who have too much (oh, that's almost everyone I know!). Anita: I like your idea :) I like to give people presents I think they actually will enjoy and use, but that can be very difficult. My dh is the worst...

Posted 11 months ago #
Emilie
Member

I don't like buying gifts...making handmade gifts is more enjoyable, but I run out of things that I'm able to make!

Posted 11 months ago #
Parsifal
Member

I hate to buy things I don't like and can't afford, often for people I don't care about! Nor do I have any desire to get gift cards and random engraved stuff from semi-distant relatives once a year. I would much rather those who feel obligated to do something give to charity on my behalf, and I usually take unopened gifts straight to Goodwill these days. An actual memento from a close family member is different, but the culture of giving stuff every holiday by default only benefits retailers.

Posted 11 months ago #
susique
Member

used to love shopping/giving gifts. Christmas was always special and i always made a real effort to send parents and parents inlaw well thought out gifts on birthdays and their day. then...we relocated closer to my family and the first Christmas was great. the second i was saddled with buying almost everyone's gifts for everyone else, others too busy, too elderly, and "you like to shop". not anymore.

we now draw names for the children at Christmas. most adults know what they want and buy it for themselves anyway. why have a yard sale every few years for unwanted items. birthdays and special days now consist of a special phone call at a quiet time and mainly an invitation to a pleasant home cooked meal. time with family is always well received. watching the kids Easter egg hunt, then brunch, then church is great. mother's day/father's day barbeques are sweet. love the 4th of July and go all out because the local fireworks can be viewed from our yard. lots of memories from kids running and playing in the yard and our great big tree for them to climb then. love giving the gift of our home and food, presents don't quite do it. but do help some of our needy family at Christmas with gift cards (for the kids) and food baskets.

what do you think? am i a scrooge.

Posted 11 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

my family quit with the gifts decades ago....mostly at my urging.
we like to share meals, travels, and consumables instead.
i make soap for a living, so most people get given soap.

Posted 11 months ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

I'd love to get hand made soap as a gift. I recently switched to hand made soap and it's made such a huge difference. I was using liquid soap for years and my skin was always dry. The higher cost of the bar, which I'm not sure is actually higher compared to the liquid soap because the bar seems to last longer, surely saves in the amount of lotion I have to use on my skin.

Posted 11 months ago #
bandicoot
Member

soap is perfect for every occasion.
everyone needs it.
and really good soap is one of those quiet little luxuries that people often neglect to get for themselves.
me, i'd rather have good soap than a lot of other things.

but i am possibly, possibly a tad biased.

Posted 11 months ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

I'm biased now, too, but my softer skin is proof that it's better.

Posted 11 months ago #
pkilmain
Member

LOL - I get lots of handmade soap as, like bandicoot, my niece is a soapmaker - on a smaller scale though, mostly at farmers' markets, though she also supplies a number of gift shops and B&B's. I love getting her soap, and she tells me she gets annoyed at folks who come by her booth and tell her they got some as a present and haven't used it in X amount of time! Soap is to be used - and then you buy more. :)

Posted 11 months ago #
pkilmain
Member

So I'm going to this wedding tomorrow where the couple asked for gift cards as they're moving, yada, yada. I made them a quilt - so there! And as part of the gift, I've enclosed a note that they should give it (and the box!) back to me and I will mail it when they've gotten their new home. This is a couple who has not lived together, so don't have a lot of "stuff," and I suppose that having the $$ to use to set up housekeeping will be nice, but I wanted them to have something tangible as well. (I gave them a GC at the shower)

Posted 11 months ago #

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