Cowards die many times before their deaths, etc. --- it's from Julius Cesar. They use it a lot at military funerals. Gimme the star.
Ninakk -- no judgment taken -- I'm the one who's being judgmental! My MIL is a very nice woman and doesn't mean to cause trouble, but if she wants her remains scattered, knowing her son, they will be scattered by raccoons in our garage, not on the shores of a lake a thousand miles north of here.
@irishbell - we've done Irish wakes for family members already. I don't know that I'd call them jolly, exactly. They were done separately, after the traditional, preacher-led service at church. To me, they seemed a lot more genuine than the church service. We drank, shared our best memories, and laughed while we were crying. Having an entire bar full of good friends, raising my Dad's favorite drink in a toast to his memory, felt like a real way to honor him, compared to a speech by a preacher who had barely spoken to him while he was alive.
Ugh, I really need to start reading all those oldies that I have on my e-reader... Two for Shakespeare already, wow.
heh. and the award goes to...(twirl daintily, SIT, it's your glory)
I would like cremation for expediency. But fireworks? that is not going gentle into that good night (silver stars being handed out for this one) and it is an interesting option.
what about the gemstones? really? you can WEAR your loved ones? There is no space in my head for that. Must ponder. Right now am only coming up with bugs in amber.
Well you can have a "symbolic portion" of your ashes shot into space or dropped on the moon, now, too. So after choosing an eco-friendly cremation, you can completely undo the effort to *ahem* "go green" by using up a boat-load of rocket fuel!
Well, I already told DBF not to put me in an urn on a shelf somewhere. And he doesn't wear jewelry, so I am not going to be a gemstone, either. I think I would like to be scattered in the woods at camp, where the white trillium (wildflowers) and ferns grow.
As atheists, my husband and I would prefer a simple secular ceremony for friends and family. Unfortunately both our mothers are religious and would want a ceremony in a church if we pre-deceased them. If, as Jude 2004 says, the ceremony/wake is for those left behind, I suppose their wishes would need to be considered. It is less likely that this will happen, so maybe I am cluttering up my day even thinking about it!
By the way, I saw an ad on the internet where people could have their pet's ashes made into gems. I love my cat, but is this a step too far?
My own personal comfort zone would not include wearing ashes or gems of a loved person or pet. If someone else wants to, fine; I just wouldn't want to hear frequent verbal reminders from them.
I am most comfortable with photos and happy memories. The longer I live, the less clutter I want.
I have such issues with the whole funeral/burial process. It is the worst ordeal I've ever been through. Losing a loved one is hard enough without this public ritual.
I will be cremated and I would like my family and close friend to get together and raise a glass of wine to my life as they scatter my ashes.
I have my paperwork in order so my family won't have a mess to deal with and hopefully, I will be fully declutterd so my sons will have a easy time settling my estate.
For those who are not interested in cremation or donating their body to science, you may want to look into natural burials. There are various sites around the US that do natural burials.
This link describes natural burials:
http://naturalburial.coop/about-natural-burial/
@claycat: that is so funny. I grew up in texas and moved to new mexico after many years to bring my husband and family here to care for my parents. it was actually hubby's idea to come here. we have talked about s final resting place and he does not care. I love the thought of being scattered to the wind, and we have many winds here in nm. but also, mom and dad and grandparents are at ft bliss and hubby is a veteran. cannot get him to make a decision, so maybe plan to toss it to the wind. lived many years in the southeast and visited the cemeteries in new orleans, so sad that they were ravaged by the waters of Katrina. the winds and sands or mountains of new mexico are so peaceful, although i am aware a legal document is needed.
When my grandmother died, we discovered she gave my family the one last, thoughtful gift by having already planned and paid for her funeral. She also left us all the information we'd need regarding her estate, and everything was in perfect order. It made us feel so loved and cared for. We knew exactly what she wanted and she'd made it very easy for us to carry out her wishes. To me, that's an uncluttered death - no unnecessary difficulty or confusion for the survivors. The only decisions we had to make were little ones, like what she'd be wearing when she was buried. We sent her out in a sparkly, sequined formal gown because she was so much fun. :) Everyone at the wake agreed it was so her!
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