When I started this decluttering journey I swore that I would concentrate on getting my own ducks in a row and not worry about DH's mess. It's not working. In fact, as I am becoming more decluttered, neater and cleaner, his mess is bothering me more.
The main issue (but not the only one) is paper -- he saves HUGE mounds of it and if I touch it or move it (let along toss it) he is upset -- even down to scraps of paper on the floor (which may have important phone numbers scrawled on them -- who knew?)
Several years ago, with his blessing, I organized a gigantic mound of paper going back more than 20 years -- literally the size of a pickup truck. It's creeping up again, made even worse as his mother's papers are now mingled with ours. And he recently changed jobs and brought in 6 storage boxes of work-stuff from his old job.
I've offered to handle the household paperwork myself and have been rebuffed. I did set some limits -- for example, in the dining room he now has ONE basket that he may fill (as opposed to the six-foot stacks that were there before.) I've tried setting up systems and they are ignored. For example, I labeled a plastic bin "Papers for Shredding" in big clear letters on all four sides and set the shredder in it. When I sat down to start shredding, the first thing I picked up was his new driver's license. I'm not sure whether he is careless, over-burdened or being passive-aggressive.
I have not lost my temper and have not nagged or directly criticized him. Instead, I have used "I" statements, explaining how the mess affects my well being and offering solutions. It hasn't worked.
Any ideas?
