I would certainly like to reach a state of comfortable simplicity! Here's hoping this will be the year! :)
Overall Rating: 1 vote
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Posted 11 months ago #
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Claycat, I worry about that will happen when my parents die. I think I've toughened up and can resist taking too many things, but I don't know how I will really feel once I'm faced with those decisions.
I hope it's your year, too. :)
Posted 11 months ago # -
@Claycat: My condolences on your MIL. So hard to deal with the aftermath with things to go through and the stressful uncertainty with the living situation. Like JuliaJayne, I worry and don't know how I will feel/be once I am faced with whatever may arise when it happens.
Posted 11 months ago # -
i remember saying on this very forum that it will be a nightmare when my folks pass, as my mom was such a shopper! after my Mom passed, i helped my Dad go through every inch of their condo, except my dads office, and helped to get rid of mountains of things. my Dad said i could take whatever of hers i wanted but,i took very little, not even enough to fill a small box. (I was given my Grammas china from her years ago so my parents wouldn't have to store it for me, so i already had that at home)i have a sister and brother, they each took a few things.
it will be awful when my Dad goes, but I no longer have the nightmare of stuff to think about. it will be mainly furniture, kitchenware, appliances etc. and i have 2 siblings to split that with.
i think that since you have been on a conscious and focused effort to not bring something into your home that you don't love, it may be easier to resist every little thing. you will certainly want to take a sentimental thing or two or ten, but I imagine you will ask yourself before you put it in the box to take home "where will i put this, do i have room for this, do i love this?". you have the mental tools, it is the emotional response that you are uncertain of. and none of us knows how we will react come the day.
claycat, you will certainly have a rough time going through things- as you need to make an effort to sell items, that puts extra stress on you that you really don't need at this point. best to you with it all.Posted 10 months ago # -
Irishbell, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you feared and you didn't bring all of her clutter into your house.
You know, when your Dad goes, it is totally OK to call in outside help, or lean on your siblings, if you need to.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Irishbell....It is okay NOT to keep everything. I've realized over the years since my parents died that I can let things go and keep the memories. The things that mean the most to me are little personal items like Mom's jewelry and Dad's tie pin he always wore to church.
I wouldn't want my sons to keep my clothes or other meaningless stuff and have told them to get rid of anything that doesn't fit into their lives.
And 'comfortable simplicity' means being at peace with what we have and what we've gotten rid of :)
Posted 10 months ago # -
Thank you all so much! I actually made a little headway yesterday! I went through a bunch of old papers and did some shredding. I took two bins of paper to the paper recycling building in this town. Every time I do that, I feel lighter. My main goal now is to not fall into paralysis. That is what I'm so tempted to do. The hardest part for me is getting started. I guess I should set a time each day that I have to start.
Posted 10 months ago # -
aww, well done claycat! Stick with it, little and often overcomes the paralysis of overwhelm :)
Posted 10 months ago # -
claycat, i am so sorry to hear about your mil.
and i am sorry that you are feeling so stuck and sounding a bit overwhelmed.
if i lived closer, i would come and give you a hand for a few days...i am sure we would have a laugh and make light work of it!
i keep thinking of that churchill quote: if you are going through hell, keep going.
keep going dear claycat! don't hang about in hell!
one step at a time...it is all anybody can do.
you have been chipping away at this for a long time.....keep chipping.
maybe it is time for a big estate sale?Posted 10 months ago # -
Claycat: My condolences on the loss of your MIL. My parents had downsized prior to my dad's passing, and my mom didn't have a lot of clutter. What she did have was jewelry, crystal, and heirlooms. We divvied up those items among my siblings (she'd specified who should receive some items in a letter). I got the Lion's share, as my elder sister had passed, my bro lives in AK, and my middle sister didn't have the same taste. However, I pared my share down, too. Don't feel bad about donating items such as furniture and clothing; I'm sure your MIL would want them to be used and to go to folks who need them. I took all the heirloom photos (my folks were both only children), scanned them, and then e-mailed them to all family members. I'm the genealogist of the family, so those were really important to me. Keep the best and the memories, and donate the rest.
Posted 10 months ago # -
You all are so sweet! Bandicoot, it would be so much fun if you were nearby! I would just love the moral support. You all are so supportive, and I appreciate it so much. I feel the warmth coming right through cyberspace. :)
When I look back at how it was when I started with this, I have to tell you that I have reduced the amount by about 80%. So, I'm really doing well. It has just gotten down to the hard stuff, the sentimental stuff. I'm learning a lot along the way about my husband's history, so it's interesting for me as well. As I look at this in a new light, I believe it will become less of a chore.
Anyway, I didn't mean to overwhelm this thread. It is about comfortable simplicity, and that is exactly what I want, what I am aiming for.
Now, I just have to get there, and I will!
Posted 10 months ago #
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