Cleaning childhood home

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Started 2 years ago by molly273
Latest reply from trillie
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molly273
Member

Hi. I've been getting the newsletter for a few years, but never realized that there was a forum. These questions may have been covered, but maybe someone could answer again:

My mom passed away last year and I am cleaning out my childhood home. I have dug through letters and memoires dating back many decades. I've done "okay" at throwing stuff out, but I do have 2 or 3 piles in my home now and 2 or 3 more in my garage. Any advice would be welcomed. I have probably thousands of photos, some repeats and/or people I don't know. I do have siblings, but they're not too interested, although I know that they'd like copies of some photos (should I make copies for myself and give them the originals or make 3 sets for them & keep originals?).

Next- I have several items that I don't know what to do with:

*My first Holy Communion dress-tiny and prob. outdated. Cute and in good condition, except for one small yellowish aging stain on front.

*my wedding dress-I'm not overly attached to the dress itself (although my wedding was very special), but most places don't want 20 year old wedding dresses.

*my mother's wedding dress-I just found. It's gorgeous, but was stored in an old bag and is all yellowed from age.

*beautiful, framed First Communion portraits of me. They were displayed in the photographer's window back then and the frames are even beautiful, but, c'mon...I don't really think I'm comfortable hanging 1st Communion portraits of myself. I have no children to give them to.

*a painting of me done by a talented neighbor as a child. That said, it's not the greatest likeness and my Mom never hung it.

And more. Any advice from those who may or may not have been there?

Thanks!

Posted 2 years ago #
bandicoot
Member

oooo it's a tough set of questions!
some serious clutter with serious emotional ties.
that said....personally, i'd toss the lot EXCEPT for the photographs (yes, i am severe and extreme and others may counsel you to do otherwise....this is merely my opinion).

i'd go through the photographs and discard any:
1. of people you do not recognise
2. any that are blurry, badly cropped, or unattractive

then:
keep the repeats separately and they can go to siblings.
get everyone to decide which photos they would like copies of.
you keep the originals because you are doing all the work and i think that is only fair.
if the first communion portraits are not something you want to hang, then let them go.

could your mother's wedding dress be dyed and used again?

i do NOT envy you your task at all.
welcome to the forum....you'll find some fabulous ideas and support here.

Posted 2 years ago #
Jude2004
Member

I would never throw away a photograph unless it was blurry. Even if you can't recognize the people, someone might be able to. I would scan them and post them online, then chuck the originals if you want to. Or possibly donate them to a museum.

Posted 2 years ago #
Zora
Member

I'd photograph the dresses and then cut out some especially beautiful details (lace, embroidery) from the actual dresses. Back the details with something stiff, like crinoline and make sure the edges are hemmed or overcast. I'd digitally photograph the painting and then reduce it in size, and print it. Then I'd make a memory box with photos of the dresses, details from the dresses, the first communion photo, and the photo of the painting. Memory box being a wooden box, shallow, with a glass cover. (Glass that filters out UV, natch.) Then you can throw away the painting and the rest of the dresses. You're left with something that you can hang on the wall and that *distills* the memories into a new and pleasing composition.

If you have other materials that could fit in the box, add them. Small toys, old postcards, Christmas cards, ribbons, and dried flowers might be nice. If you're not sure of your "eye" in this matter, see if you can find a local artist who would make a memory box for you.

Posted 2 years ago #
toberead
Member

As far as the photographs, there are places where you can have photos scanned in bulk. You pay a fairly small price per picture and get image files on a DVD or online. They are usually of high enough resolution that they can be printed if you want. You might have your siblings chip in for the cost (usually most of the cost is for the initial scans, and getting extra copies is cheap), and then everyone could have their own set. Some of these companies work through the mail, but you might find one locally if you don't want to ship your pictures. The only caveat is that they generally won't scan professional photographs like school pictures.

As far as the wedding dresses, I kept my mother's wedding dress for years, but finally gave it away. I had pictures of her in it, and I was more likely to look at the pictures than I was to actually look at the dress. You might be surprised - thrift stores or consignment stores might be glad to take a wedding dress, particularly stores that specialize in "vintage" clothes. Some people like older styles.

Posted 2 years ago #
molly273
Member

Thank you, bandicoot, Jude2004, Zora and toberead. The advice is really good and I will try some of the ideas. Scanning is great (and, bandicoot, I need to learn to be a little more severe with tossing!). I am going to show the wedding dress to a friend and decide if it can be dyed or sold/donated to a thrift shop. I also LOVE the memory box idea-I saw this done by a cousin to a dance dress...gorgeous!).
Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Posted 2 years ago #
Amy
Member

Your mother's wedding dress may have some value. Why not check on eBay to see what similar items are selling for? Look thru the completed listings for an accurate idea.

My sympathy for your loss. My mother just passed away a couple of weeks ago. She was living in assisted living and we had already gone thru her things when she moved in there, so there wasn't much left at the time of her death.

Posted 2 years ago #
Jeri Dansky
Member

Molly 273 and Amy, I'm sorry to hear about your losses; it's tough when your Mom passes away. (My mom died three years ago.)

Molly 273, I have one client who thought this was the perfect place to donate her wedding gown:
http://www.marymadelineproject.org/

Posted 2 years ago #
trillie
Member

molly273, first of all, welcome! Also, I too am so sorry for your losses, molly273, and Amy. When parents pass away, it's just one of those feelings that is like no other ever experienced before.

There is lots of great advice and I have nothing to add except for a few forum links full of advice that might be helpful for you, if you haven't seen these threads yet:
* Generations of photos -- tips for organizing lots of family photos
* How do you deal with personalized items you no longer want? -- there might be a few helpful tips in here for the portrait of you
* Places where you can give your stuff to -- a general list of places to donate decluttered things
* Finding the time to unclutter -- this is a thread with great step-by-step advice and a few more links to great forum threads, giving you uncluttering motivation especially when you feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start and how to decide

Good luck!

Posted 2 years ago #

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