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Started 2 years ago by Shannon R
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Shannon R
Member

Sorry for another newbie post, but I am in dire need of some type of encouragement or advice. I'm really sorry this is so long.

I just graduated from college and am very ready to begin a new phase of life, free of clutter, because it's really affecting my every day and has been for a while. Recently, I went back home and brought back the rest of my possessions from my mom's house. I have a ton of stuff and I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed about how to go about getting rid of some of it.

Up until about three years ago I was a major pack rat, almost on the verge of hoarding. I literally hadn't gotten rid of anything since I was old enough to start caring about things. This includes things such as every card and trinket I'd ever received, collections of stuffed animals, action figures, treasure trolls, etc., posters, hundreds of VHS tapes, CDs, cassette tapes, and DVDs, a huge bookshelf full of books, collections of celebrity merchandise, and more. It's all very organized at this point, my whole room is pretty much a "get rid of" pile. I've already donated a bunch of things to various places, and sold some of the media/books at used CD stores.

I guess what's holding me back the most right now are the collections of things. Most of the toys and stuff I've donated or plan on donating, but I have enormous collections of celebrity merchandise, most of which was mass produced and definitely isn't selling on eBay or anything. I've tried posting some of it as lots on craigslist, but that hasn't been at all successful. I do not want any of it, I'm way past the celebrity obsession phase in my life, but I don't really want to just throw it away for several reasons. It used to mean a lot to me and to just throw it all in the trash I think would affect me in a really negative way. I did spend a lot of money on it, and while I don't necessarily expect to make a fortune or even anything on it, I do want it to go to a good home.

Maybe I'm being a little selfish with my stuff, and sometimes I do get a little sad when I just take a big bag of it to Goodwill. Even though my lifestyle now is much more minimalist and much better, I still sometimes think about how much that stuff meant to me and maybe I'm just not ready to get rid of it yet. It's usually not long after that I remember how it's been sitting in boxes for five or ten years and I never think about it.. but still. I wish I could get rid of these feelings because they happen so often and I know that this stuff's not important and I truly feel like a better person with even half of it being gone.

So does anybody have suggestions about any of this? Again, I'm sorry this is so long, but everyone in my life is against me decluttering and I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons I'm having these feelings. I need some positive reinforcement. It always seems like everyone on this forum is so helpful so I figured I'd ask. Thank you so much.

Posted 2 years ago #
badkitti
Member

Hi Shanon.

It sounds like you've made great progress already to my mind.

Can your celeb stuff go to a charity shop? that way people who ar fans wil see it and grab it for a new loving home. maybe take a photo first so you remeber it yourself. Quite a few people take photos nowadays - all the memories - minimal clutter.

You have to balance what will feel better - space and freedom vs boxes of stuff you don't have time or attention for. What will feel worse - the clutter vs, the ability to start ;ife in thw way you need to.

Its ok to get rid of stuff that used to mean a lot to you. For instance I still have two childhood teddies, but all the rest are long gone.

I remember helping my sister declutter once (took a lot of talk and persuading - a ot of it was stuff she used to collect as a child) and Mum just went through it all and rescued it before I made it to the charity shop. Some people will always think of it as wasteful - to me its recycling - to a friend, to charity shops for a stranger or plain old rubbish recycling. You'll be able to appreciatwhat you have more. If ayone thinks you should keep something as its an heirloom etc , let them take it. Personally, I'd just keep quiet and do it.

Good luck and keep us all updated. xxx

Posted 2 years ago #
Zora
Member

You're going to be keeping some of your collections, yes? A collection that is actively maintained and curated (letting go of the less interesting, valuable things to make room for better pieces) is an absorbing, enjoyable hobby, and can eventually become quite valuable. It might hurt less to let go of some of the lesser collections if you know that you'll be keeping one or two that are closest to your heart, and that you have room to display properly.

As for finding it hard to send some of the collections out into the cold, cruel world, without any guarantee that the items will be used and cherished ... yeah, that hurts. I still remember my first pass through my hoard of cloth and old sewing projects. I sorted out two trashbags worth of stuff that I knew that I wasn't going to sew or finish, but that I thought had some value. I took the bags to a quilt guild meeting and let the ladies there paw through the stuff. Half of it was taken ... and half left. What to do with that half? There was no point in taking it to the Goodwill; if sewing fanatics had rejected it, it wasn't likely to appeal to the general populace. Finally I gritted my teeth and heaved it into the trash. Auwe but that hurt! Those were things on which I had spent good money!

It hurts, but it has to be done :(

Posted 2 years ago #
klutzgrrl
Member

Merchandise is really one of those difficult things, isn't it - especially when the movie is long gone or the celebrity out of the limelight.

I'd suggest that you go through it quite rigorously, maybe picking out a few favorite pieces to keep. Perhaps have in mind a way of presenting them, such as in a shadow-box frame. Then pick out the good quality stuff for goodwill. being firm with yourself about how desirable the item is as a 'fan' - a good-quality figurine, yes; a Fast-food Bobblehead doll, no. Really pick out the very best. You could try a cheap ebay auction, but the best bet is to give it away. You aren't getting anything for it, but someone who is a fan might really enjoy it and you'll bring a smile to someones face. The rest really just has to go. We are all good at spending money on worthless stuff. That's the whole point of our economy, really.

Don't let the 'I spent good money on this' or 'I used to really love this' hold you back. This stuff is a negative presence in your life, an anchor dragging you to a halt. Let go of it! Take photographs to give you something tangible to remember things by if you want, maybe of a few representative items. Y

Remember, this stuff in itself is useless. It was meaningful to you once, you enjoyed it and got your value out of it. Now it's like that old CRT television in my garage. I've had my use of it and now it's been replaced by something better. It doesn't mean the way you used to enjoy it is any less meaningful. You just don't have a use for it now.

Remember the feelings you have about this stuff next time you buy something for yourself or as a gift.

Good luck. It's hard but you can do it. Remember it's just stuff.

Posted 2 years ago #
Jeri Dansky
Member

Shannon, if you care more about the "good home" than getting any money for the collection, Freecycle can be a wonderful answer. If you're lucky, you can find someone to whom the stuff is as meaningful as it used to be to you.

Posted 2 years ago #
Claycat
Member

Good luck with your project, Shannon! As badkitti said, it sounds like you have already made great progress. I like klutzgrrl's idea of putting a few in a shadow box. That way you have some nicely displayed memories, and you won't feel so bad about parting with the rest.

Posted 2 years ago #
Aunt Cloud
Member

Ah, sentimental stuff that meant so much to you at one point; that's not as easy as tossing Tylenol dated 1993, that's for sure.

I moved internationally and locally, way too many times than I would like. Whenever there's an issue of an item that doesn't justify the energy I need to put in in order to move it and display or store it in the new house, I remind myself that we don't buy stuff, we rent it, and for some items the lease is up.

Also, there is very little info that can't be found online these days. Out went old Parker Lewis VHS tapes that my husband recoreded 20 years ago, but his grandmother's LP records still have a spot in our basement.

Good luck! it's worth it.

Posted 2 years ago #
Joy
Member

@Aunt Cloud, you're right; it is on rent anyway!

Posted 2 years ago #
Aunt Cloud
Member

Thank you :-) it took me many moves and many many items that were given away/donated/trashed without affecting my quality of life whatsoever to realize that other than my family, friends and health, everything in my life is replaceable.

Posted 2 years ago #
Cookie
Member

Hi Shannon,

it's great that you are so willing to let go of things and start a new life period. I know from experience how hard it is to let go of things that were important for so long.

You are putting a lot of energy in your efforts to find a good home for your old collections. I found with my own things that part of my reluctance to really let go of things that I don't actually want anymore lies in the fact that by doing so I once and for all have to let go – therefore lose – all the time and energy I already invested in them through the years, from picking it out to sorting and keeping it, hauling it from one place to another, finding a new place for it… and that's what makes letting go harder, even if rationally I know I don't want/need these things in my life anymore.

The thing is, I won't get this energy (or money) back; ever. And no one will see all these items in quite the same light as for example you do with your collections, because they purely see the items, not the attached history. It can be really hard to acknowledge the fact that things that are or have been so important to us aren't actually worth that much to someone else.

Maybe you just need a little bit more time to really, truly let everything go, without attaching the condition that it must »go to a good home«. Right now you keep investing energy by trying to at least recover some of what you invested, but if you look at what you might gain vs. what you have to keep investing it might not be worth it trying to do so.
There have been some nice suggestions already how you can make sure that you won't regret on an emotional basis the letting go of things (I like the photographing-things-idea a lot). So maybe you can give yourself a timeframe for how much longer you will hold on to your collections while trying to find someone to give them to. Make it four weeks (or longer, or shorter, just a timeframe you decide to stick to) after which you allow to let your now-self to let go of past-self's things in order to become your future self (I'm paraphrasing a quote from the inspirational-quotes thread, it's worth checking out!)

Something wrote in your post was: »everyone in my life is against me decluttering«.
I think it just may be hard for the people around you to see you changing. The things you want to get rid of are part of the Shannon they know, and you throwing them out would be a very visible sign of how you are changing and growing. This kind of adjustment can be uncomfortable for the others as much as for ourselves, but you are entering a new period in your life and you changing is inevitable. Maybe they are just afraid of losing the girl because she is now becoming an adult, and not wanting you to throw out parts of your old life is a subconscious try to keep you being the person they know and love. Try not to listen to them too much, this is something you need to do for yourself right now. They'll come around once they see that getting rid of your things doesn't equal losing you.

Posted 2 years ago #
Shannon R
Member

So I never responded to this, but I had read all of your responses and thanks so much! I have made a lot of progress since I posted this and it feels great. :) I ended up finding a bunch of celebrity forums online and just put pictures of my stuff up and told people to make me an offer. So many people jumped on it! I ended up making almost $200 total which I really wasn't expecting! I then put some of it on Freecycle the other day and that's already gone. I'm down to two boxes of this stuff, as opposed to the eighteen I had before.

I also didn't mention the fact that I collect sneakers, and had almost 60 pairs. (I do work in the footwear industry.) However, there were almost 20 pairs that I hadn't even gotten around to wearing yet just sitting there starting at me, reminding me of the money I'd spent that I would kill to get back now that these student loans have started. The flood in Nashville kind of kickstarted this, because my sneakers were one of the things I'd been putting off decluttering even though they annoyed me every day. So I narrowed my collection down to 17 pairs and donated the rest to a church shoe drive for flood victims! They were so excited to have so many new/like new pairs of name brand sneakers, it made me feel great and not regret the money spent at all. I know 17 is still a lot, but that is really an accomplishment for me.

I can't believe how much less stuff I have since beginning this project in January and with every bit of stuff I get rid of I feel just a little bit lighter. The timing worked out perfectly with moving, because I absolutely refuse to bring any of this stuff that's been weighing me down for so long into my awesome new apartment. If I don't sell it or find a home for it by May 23rd, it will find a new home at Goodwill. I feel great about the fact that I'm finally going to have a new place to start this new "chapter" in life. It's going to be the first place I've ever had that's not completely cluttered with stuff that I don't even care about! Even though I don't post, I'm here almost every day and this forum and website have really encouraged me to get to this point so I just wanted to say thanks!

Posted 2 years ago #
ArtGal
Member

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I figured out (for me) it wasn't so much the possessions that I treasured, but the time frame that occurred when I had them. For instance, I had a collection of Breyer horses from my childhood that I hung on to because I thought I LOVED the collection...what I finally realized was that I loved the circumstances AROUND the time I had the horses (I would take them with me when I went camping with my grandparents...which was absolutely joyous!) Once I realized this about myself, it became much easier to let go of the tangible stuff and hold on to the intangible stuff (the memories.) I agree, a "picture is worth a thousand words" and there is a picture of the collection right next to one of us camping...and somewhere a little girl is greatly enjoying her "new" horses!

Posted 2 years ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

Shannon, what a great story about the shoes. It's fantastic that you have accomplished so much in a short period of time. Making your new apartment feel like home will be more enjoyable because you won't be struggling to find places for excess stuff.

Posted 2 years ago #
chacha1
Member

Shannon, congratulations and best wishes as you embark on your new, remarkable, uncluttered life!

Posted 2 years ago #
themusiclivez
Member

Shannon, you are truly wonderful for going out of your way to find good homes for your items. So many people will benefit from your sneaker donation! Best of luck to you with all of your decluttering :o)

Posted 2 years ago #
terriok
Member

Hi,
You might try selling the stuff in lots of Ebay...It is worth a try. I believe I sell about 30% of what I list but in the long run I usually do okay.

I have never had any luck on Craigs List which I have heard Ebay owns, by the way.

You wouldn't happen to have any Beatles stuff, would you? ;o) I am serious! LOL.

Have you talked to an expert in collecting the kind of stuff you have? Some of it might be more salable than others.

Good luck!

KT

Posted 2 years ago #
ArtGal
Member

Beatles? Did somebody say "Beatles?" Hello fellow fan terriok!!! :)

Posted 2 years ago #
irishbell
Member

Gosh, when I read all these posts about peoples items and their memories and how they have such a hard time parting with their things, I wonder if something's wrong with me. Am I so cold-hearted that I could just throw away/Goodwill these gifts that I no longer want/like? I say this seriously but with humor because I'm okay with it. My Mom always said - if someone gives you a gift, you use it/cherish/show it off, because he/she was nice enough to buy it for you. But I'm not like that, except with things my kids have given me. I try to appreciate the person, not the thing.

Posted 2 years ago #
JuliaJayne
Member

If you don't have trouble parting with your things, why do you have clutter? :)

Posted 2 years ago #
irishbell
Member

JuliaJayne- are you asking me? I don't have clutter. It was in the past that I got rid of all these things! If I get a gift I know I won't use/don't like, I keep it around for a bit and then find a new home for it. Fortunately- I don't often get gifts like this anymore.

Posted 2 years ago #

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