Archives for Unitasker Wednesday

Unitasker Wednesday: Pizza Plates

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

A few years ago, my husband and I got rid of all of our dining ware except for our Wedgwood White bone china. Our friends and family graciously gave us the set when we got married, and in more than 10 years we have only lost one bowl due to breakage (and that happened outside, on a brick patio). We use the china for every meal, including meals we serve to our two-year-old son. The stuff is incredibly versatile (tea with the Queen or holding chips and dip during the big game), goes into the microwave and dishwasher, and it has been in production for so long that replacing pieces is simple. I thought I might miss our every-day pottery, but I haven’t. It’s so nice to be able to use the good stuff all the time. Which, is very likely why, I don’t understand the need to own six triangular shaped plates with pictures of pepperoni pizza on them for the sole purpose of serving slices of restaurant-made pizza. Introducing, the Pizza Plates:

In addition to circular plates being qualified to support a triangular slice of pizza, circular plates can also hold square slices of pizza and entire small, personal pizzas. Circular plates can even support TWO slices of pizza. These triangular plates can’t hold two slices or personal pizzas or even one square slice. And what about jumbo slices or Chicago deep-dish style slices? (Jumbo slices, I think, are a DC style, if you don’t know what they are.) There is no way these plates would ever fit a jumbo slice or contain the innards of a Chicago deep-dish slice. Are there ones decorated for vegetarians without pepperoni slices or ones for people who like hamburger or pineapple for toppings? What about vegans who don’t eat cheese?!

Save space in your cupboards or pantry and stick with regular, circular plates that don’t care one bit what style of pizza you prefer to consume or even what food you prefer to consume in general. Circular plates are inclusive and open to all food eating experiences.

Other favorite pizza unitaskers you may remember: The Pizza Scissors/Spatula, triangular Pizza Saver plastic bags, and the highly specialized Double-Deck pizza oven.

Thanks to reader Jorge for introducing us to Pizza Plates.

Posted by Erin on May 16, 2012 | 21 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The KAZeKUP

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

We talk a lot on Unclutterer about honoring the things you choose to keep in your life. Put these things up on a (proverbial) pedestal and enjoy the items you value and treasure. But … the KAZeKUP isn’t really what we had in mind:

If you’re someone who goes to the beach every sunny day during the summer and who doesn’t like to twist your cup into the sand to make a drink holder out of nature, today’s item might not be a unitasker for you. For most of us, however, who only spend a few hours each summer lounging on a beach, this monument to drink holding is probably unnecessary. The pole is pretty long and the holder (as is evident in the picture) is significant enough in size to be able to support a Big Gulp. It’s not a small device; the KAZeKUP is the Olympic Torch of drink holders.

If you’re worried about high tide filling your drink with sea water, I recommend doing what I do and put your drink into your cooler during these brief expanses of time. Anyway, high tide is surfing time — you don’t want your drink to get warm while you’re out on the waves.

Thanks to reader Patty who introduced us to an entire series of beach drink holders. We didn’t even know our cups dug in the sand were uncool.

Posted by Erin on May 9, 2012 | 9 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Cupcake Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s selection sincerely leaves me asking a lot of questions. What horrible event could have possibly happened to someone to make him want to punish cupcakes and those who love to eat them? Why would anyone want there to be LESS cupcake? A cupcake is not an oil field — why would anyone drill into a cupcake? What lurks in the hearts of those who want to ruin (RUIN!!) cupcakes with the Cuisipro Cupcake Corer:

Okay, maybe (but it’s a very unlikely maybe) I’m a bit biased against the Cupcake Corer because I don’t like frosting. (Except for cream cheese frosting, which I’ll tolerate on a red velvet cupcake.) But even people who like all types of frosting still like the cake element of the cupcake. No one would order a cupcake in a bakery and ask the clerk to, “hold the cupcake.” It’s not as if frosting lovers are looking for ways for there to be more frosting in a cupcake, because all they have to do is pile even more on top.

On the plus side, this thing is relatively inexpensive, cleans easily in the dishwasher, and doesn’t take up space. However, a multipurpose melon baller (which I use to core apples, make cheese ball appetizers, scoop seeds out of bell peppers and jalapenos, and more) could ruin a cupcake in the same way — and you probably already own one of those.

I simply don’t get it. Cupcakes should not be mutilated! Give us the entire cupcake!

Thanks to readers Michele and Stella who sent us this cupcake violater.

Posted by Erin on May 2, 2012 | 31 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Pic Nic Pants

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

It’s difficult to believe, but it appears we have run out of coffee unitaskers to feature. Instead of giving up and throwing in the towel, reader Elaine found us a brilliant “multi-tasking” unitasker from Italy to feature instead.

The purpose of this week’s selection is obviously to be a multi-tasking garment, but I’m not really sure the Pic Nic Pant is up for the challenge:

The purpose of the Pic Nic Pant, as described on the designer’s site, is:

… [to] take advantage of the usual cross-legged position to become a comfortable surface useful for consumption of a meal outdoors. Laterally pants have an orientable pocket for drinks.

I’ll be honest, the drink holder on the right knee has the potential to be useful. However, since it’s not detachable, it’s awkward just hanging down when you’re up walking around. The tray insert between the legs, though, is wrong on many levels. My biggest issue with it is that the tray prevents crumbs from falling directly to the ground. Not having to clean your clothes or the floor when you’re finished eating is why eating outside is so awesome. You dropped a bit of your hot dog bun onto the grass? No problem. A bird will come along and eat that bun piece for dinner — simplicity to the extreme!

Thanks again to reader Elaine for finding this week’s unitasker for us.

Posted by Erin on Apr 25, 2012 | 37 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Coffee unitaskers continue

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

For this week’s unitasker selection, I wanted to keep with the April theme of coffee-inspired unitaskers. And, when looking for such unitaskers, my kitchen seemed like the perfect location to find candidates.

I may talk the talk and walk the walk in other areas of my life, but not where coffee is concerned.

Let me illustrate my point: I use the Aerobie AeroPress coffee and espresso maker with a tiny filter to make my coffee. It requires ground beans, which I grind in my Capresso Infinity Conical Burr Grinder, and hot water, which I heat in the microwave or in my teapot. Except for the mug and a splash of milk, this is the entirety of my coffee-making needs. But is this where my coffee gadgets and doodads stop? Oh no.

In my cupboard is a coffee scoop:

Since I pour my coffee beans straight from the bag into the top of the coffee grinder and my coffee grinder only grinds the specific amount of beans you set it to grind, I don’t use a coffee scoop. Additionally, if I did need to measure ground coffee, I would just use a measuring spoon (one cup of coffee requires two tablespoons of ground beans in the AeroPress).

The coffee scoop is minor compared to the Nespresso Single-Serve Espresso Machine sitting on our kitchen counter:

This space hog was our primary coffee maker until it died in 2009 and we bought the AeroPress. We found out, however, that it could be resurrected for very little money, so we had it fixed. The reason we keep it is because it’s great at parties where everyone can choose the exact type of espresso they want and get a customized drink in seconds. (In contrast, it’s difficult to make enough coffee for a group of people with the AeroPress quickly.) But, since becoming parents in 2009, we have only thrown one party where people have used it. One.

We might use it more regularly to make a quick cup for ourselves if it didn’t require ordering special coffee pods from the manufacturer to use in the machine. It’s not like the Keurig machines that have pods available at the grocery store or at Costco. We have to plan a week in advance to get a fresh cup.

Keeping it and not using it is ridiculous since our exact Nespresso model is no longer in production and its value has soared. They sell on eBay and Craigslist for significantly more than what we spent on the machine. We would actually make money if we sold it. I need to sell it. I do.

Do you have coffee unitaskers taking up residence in your home? Are you harboring items you never use? Is there a coffee machine on your countertop that you haven’t touched except for once since 2009? No? Just me?

Posted by Erin on Apr 18, 2012 | 37 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Pour some iced coffee on me

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

As a lover of all things coffee, I embraced the tip I got from a friend to freeze coffee in ice cube trays to use in iced coffee drinks. Using frozen coffee cubes instead of frozen water cubes keeps the iced coffee drink from getting too watered down as the cubes melt. Ever since I got this tip, I pour coffee into an ice cube tray, let it come to room temperature, stick the tray in the freezer, and make frozen coffee cubes. When all of the cubes are frozen, I pop them out of the tray and into a zip top bag for storage, freeing up the ice cube tray for regular ice. Then, obviously, I put the frozen coffee cubes into my cup of coffee if I decide I want to drink it iced. If I’m feeling peppy, I’ll make the frozen coffee cubes with flavored creams mixed in with the coffee, so the iced coffee drink changes flavor as I drink it. (I know, I live on the edge!)

No extra coffee making contraptions are necessary. No special or expensive gizmos or doodads required. A basic ice cube tray and standard coffeemaker are all you need to make iced coffee that doesn’t get watered down. (Note: The ice cube trick also works with chai. Kapow! Bet I just rocked your world.)

So, you can imagine my bewilderment when I discovered not only are there special trays that exist for making frozen coffee cubes into the shape of coffee beans, such as the Cool Beans Ice Cube Tray:

BUT there are also special $40 coffeemakers to make iced coffee, such as the Bodum Bean Ice Coffeemaker:

Fascinating. And, after last week’s coffee filter tongs unitasker, I’m starting to think we can fill the entire month of April with only coffee-related unitaskers. I already have an idea for next week’s item, which I actually own!

Thanks to reader Jess for leading us to a whole new world of coffee unitaskers.

Posted by Erin on Apr 11, 2012 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Coffee Filter Separator Tool

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Want to know what is not a problem in search of a solution? Separating paper coffee filters. Want to know what product no one needs to solve this non-problem? An $8 pair of Coffee Filter Separating Tongs:

Want to know why no one needs these tongs? Because a reusable coffee filter costs less than $1.50 and you have no need to use paper coffee filters ever again.

Let’s pretend, though, you are all about the perpetually unnecessary expense of using paper filters and these tongs seem like a good idea. If that is the case, then I’d recommend a $3 Stick ‘n’ Lift style separator. These sticky things take up significantly less space than tongs, have better Amazon reviews, and would be easier to use if you have arthritis. But, since you don’t have any need for the perpetually unnecessary expense of using paper filters because you understand the financial and environmental benefits of using a reusable filter, there is no need to play pretend.

(Want to know what word I misspelled numerous times while drafting this post? Separator. Maybe I need more coffee …)

Thanks to reader Andrea for sharing this unitasker with us.

Posted by Erin on Apr 4, 2012 | 30 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Waterproof Pool Table

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

When I go swimming, I refuse to go anywhere without a Waterproof Pool Table:

It’s just not swimming if I can’t work in a few laps and then hustle some kids out of their allowances when I run a table in Eight Ball. Swimming and billiards are such obvious companions.

And with a price tag of $6,500.00, I can’t believe there are swimming pools without Waterproof Pool Tables. Shocked! Shocked, I tell you.

Posted by Erin on Mar 28, 2012 | 12 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Peel-a-Meal

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

First things first, go and read this wonderful article from yesterday’s New York Times about professional chefs and the unitaskers that languish in their home kitchens, “Must-Have Gadgets for the Kitchen? Think Again.” It is so comforting to know that even the highly trained get sucked into buying unnecessary gadgets and gizmos. Also, don’t forget to come back!

Welcome back, and now onto this week’s doozy of a unitasker. It doesn’t slice, it doesn’t dice, and it most certainly doesn’t julianne. In fact, the reviews for the Peel-a-Meal indicate it doesn’t even de-skin six to eight potatoes very well in 30 minutes:

The Amazon reviews are pretty tough on this device, and I kind of felt bad for it after reading all of them. (I have a soft spot in my heart for poor designs. It’s a good thing I don’t work at the US patent office.) Apparently, it only works on perfectly round potatoes, like Yukon Golds. It doesn’t work with Russets or even on Yukon Golds that have dimples in them — you still have to pull out your hand peeler and labor away on the indented areas. Since it only does six or eight at a time and it takes close to 30 minutes to peel that small amount of potatoes and you still have to touch-up the potatoes after the machine runs AND it’s supposedly really loud … a regular peeler hardly seems like much work in comparison. Plus, a hand potato peeler is super easy to clean in the dishwasher.

If you have a large family, everyone can pitch in and peel their own potatoes in less than 30 minutes. If you run a restaurant, you should really be using a professional grade peeler to process the load and be up to code with your equipment. People who have arthritis could probably benefit from a Rotato Potato Peeler, which at least looks like it takes up less counter space and has significantly more positive reviews. Oh, Peel-a-Meal, you have such a cute name that I’m sorry you don’t work quickly or efficiently or really do much of anything except for take up space and make a lot of noise.

Posted by Erin on Mar 21, 2012 | 23 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Spaghetti Fork

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

It’s usually extremely obvious to me what the inventor of a unitasker was attempting to achieve with his or her product. Even though I don’t have a need for their thing-a-ma-bobs, I at least get what they’re trying to do. This week’s unitasker doesn’t fit into that mold. Introducing the Spaghetti Fork:

I don’t get the internal scalloped edges. How do they help spaghetti noodles wind onto the fork any better than on a regular fork? If the scalloped edges are so much better, why aren’t they on the outside of the prongs, too? Do they still require using a spoon or the side of the bowl? If this special fork does work better, does it work so much better than a regular fork to justify the expense and storage space? Why, WHY do I need a scalloped edged fork?!

Posted by Erin on Mar 14, 2012 | 10 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Karate Lettuce Chopper

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This is one of the more amusing unitaskers we’ve featured, and I’d like to thank reader Rosanna for sending it to us. I can’t stop smiling when I see this week’s selection, and my guess is you’ll have a similar positive response when you cast your gaze upon the Gama-Go Karate Lettuce Chopper, too:

Whack!

Growing up, my mom had a lettuce knife in her utensil drawer that I can’t ever remember using on lettuce. I remember chasing my brother around the house with it, but I’m not really sure that was its intended purpose when she bought it. I took to Google to learn why someone might want a lettuce knife, because I sincerely had no idea why lettuce might need knifing or, in this case, Karate chopping (I just use my hands when breaking up lettuce, I didn’t know this wasn’t normal). Turns out, promoters of using a plastic knife on lettuce say it keeps lettuce from browning if you plan to store the lettuce for more than a week in its chopped form. Interesting …

So, I turned to Cook’s Illustrated (my go-to source for all things cooking related) to find out the answers to the questions I didn’t have until just a few seconds ago: “Does a serrated plastic knife prevent lettuce from browning? Is it worth $11, or is it a scam?”

Cook’s Illustrated responded, don’t buy one:

The plastic lettuce knife might stave off browning slightly longer than metal knives, but it’s not worth the money or the extra drawer space. To prolong the life of lettuce by a day or two, stick to tearing by hand. Tearing allows leaves to break along their natural fault lines, rupturing fewer cells and reducing premature browning.

Although the Gama-Go Karate Lettuce Chopper is incredibly entertaining, I’ll keep using the hands at the ends of my arms to cut up lettuce in our house and save the ridiculous amount of drawer space this device would occupy for something more useful. It does make me smile, though …

Posted by Erin on Mar 7, 2012 | 37 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Shirt Shuttle

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I have no doubts in my mind that this week’s selection works well. I am certain it is water resistant and keeps your shirt completely dry. I am certain it won’t wrinkle your shirt’s collar or introduce any nasty creases into the body of your garment. I am certain it is easy to hang in a closet and won’t get destroyed in your suitcase. I am not certain, however, that anyone needs a Shirt Shuttle:

This large case holds one shirt and it costs $48 in the US or £30 in Britain. If you’re going on a business trip for more than one day, you would need multiple Shirt Shuttles to protect all your shirts, and a nice size piece of luggage to contain all your Shirt Shuttles. It might be fine if you just want to take a single shirt to the gym, but I don’t know many guys heading to the gym who don’t know how to work a hanger or shove their shirt into the steam room to get out any wrinkles that may have inadvertently been acquired during transport.

I don’t like ironing, and neither does my husband, so we avoid the entire need for a Shirt Shuttle by getting him non-iron dress shirts from the Brooks Brothers outlet store. Yes, the non-iron shirts cost a little more than regular dress shirts, but they don’t cost $48 more per shirt, even at the retail stores and certainly not at the outlet locations.

If you want to protect your suit coat, tie, and slacks from wrinkles and the elements, I am sorry to report that there are not currently Coat Shuttles, Tie Shuttles, or Slack Shuttles. You’re still going to have to pull that steamer out of the hotel closet if any of those garments need some attention.

I don’t know why, but the Shirt Shuttle reminds me a lot of the Doughnut To-Go case …

Thanks to the hoards of readers who sent in this device suggestion to us.

Posted by Erin on Feb 29, 2012 | 12 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Cauliflower Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m glad reader Jeri included a description with her submission of this week’s unitasker because I had no idea what it was just looking at the image:

I didn’t even know Cauliflower Corers were a thing. Where I come from, tubes with sharp things on the end of them are used for digging holes for fence posts.

Maybe, and I loosely use the word maybe, someone working in a restaurant that serves a ridiculous amount of cauliflower might be able to use such a device. However, I still would assume using a knife would be faster — it only takes five cuts to completely remove a cauliflower’s core with a knife. I also know a knife works on every size head of cauliflower, whereas this device would shred up a small head of cauliflower. For home use, this device is complete overkill and would take up way more storage space than a multipurpose knife.

(Don’t know how to quickly core a cauliflower without this device? eHow has a short video posted on YouTube explaining how easy it is to remove the core from cauliflower.)

I tried to come up with legitimate suggestions for ways to be able to use this on something other than cauliflower, and, except for using it on the obvious broccoli or to dig holes for fence posts, I was stumped. It possibly looks like it could be useful on a first-generation Diaper Genie. The plastic liner cutter that comes with the old Diaper Genies is pretty much worthless. However, scissors work just fine, so I’m still at a loss for legitimate alternate uses for the Cauliflower Corer. Attach it to an enormous pastry bag to decorate a giant cake? Wear it as a dangerous hat?

Thank you, Jeri, for finding and sharing with us this incredibly specific unitasker.

Posted by Erin on Feb 22, 2012 | 18 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Pancake problems that aren’t problems

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

In my opinion, the best part of the breakfast pancake is the syrup. Without syrup, a pancake tastes like hay. With syrup, a pancake tastes like candy. The more syrup on a pancake, the more it tastes like candy, and the better it is. Yummy, yummy maple syrup candy pancakes …

So, you can imagine my confusion when I recently learned about these very special pancake plates that have run-off reservoirs for your syrup. Why would anyone want a device that drains away the syrup from a stack of pancakes? This makes no sense. None at all. The goal is to have ALL the syrup on the pancakes:

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a couple wacky suggestions — If you don’t like syrup, don’t pour any syrup on your pancakes. If you want to limit the amount of syrup you use, pour syrup into a small cup you already own and dip bites of your pancakes into the cup of syrup. If you don’t have a cup, go out and buy one. Heck, buy two! My guess is you can find two small cups at Target for significantly less than $45 (the price of the two pancake plates) and those cups will take up less space in your kitchen cupboards. You can also reuse cups for drinking beverages. Snazzy.

If I haven’t convinced you not to buy these syrup-depriving abominations, then by all means don’t eat just any pancake off your very special pancake plate … eat terrifying pancakes from an aerosol can!

Really, they’re a thing. Aerosol pancakes. They exist.

Thanks to readers Katie and J for leading us to these two pancake-related unitaskers. What’s that? You want one more? Okay, here you go, have an unintelligible pancake decorative plate to hang on your wall. (Why cut off the words? Why?!)

Posted by Erin on Feb 15, 2012 | 52 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Puppy Tweets

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t usually consider novelty items for unitasker selections. However, when novelties fail at being novel, I can’t pass up on such easy targets. This week, I present to you Puppy Tweets:

What is a Puppy Tweets? It’s a device your dog wears around its neck that transmits messages to your computer so your dog can tweet. Because, um, tweeting is something you really want your dog to do? From the product description on Amazon:

When your dog moves, barks, or naps the tag sends a Tweet via Twitter

According to a ridiculous number of bad reviews on Amazon, however, this isn’t actually what happens. Along with the devices (the dog tag and a USB antenna), you have to install a program on your computer to use Puppy Tweets. This program contains a preset list of messages that send from your computer every hour you have the program running. Your dog doesn’t have to wear the device (which is apparently quite large and uncomfortable for small dogs to wear), and you don’t have to use the USB antenna to detect movement, barking, or napping. Simply run the program, and receive bad jokes and puns from your dog via Twitter (not even transcriptions of your dog’s actual barks). You can even go into the program files and change the text of the tweets before they are sent, thus ruining the surprise of what your dog isn’t thinking!

In short, you could easily write up a bunch of pretend tweets from your dog in HootSuite and time them to send one an hour and have the exact same experience for free. I’m not really sure why you would want to receive fake tweets from your pet, though. That part continues to confuse me.

Thankfully, if such a not-so-novel product interests you, the Puppy Tweets in blue is only $1.10. If you want to part with more of your money, it’s $7.59 in pink.

Posted by Erin on Feb 8, 2012 | 25 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Baby Buddy Bottle Buddy

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker selection rises to a brand new level of unitaskery, and does so with an $80 price tag. Introducing Baby Buddy Bottle Buddy: The Electronic Formula Dispenser:

According to the product description, the purpose of this electronic device is to keep a new parent or caregiver from wondering “was that five or six scoops?” Sure, the new parent or caregiver could simply pour the dry formula back into its original package and scoop it out again just to be certain what scoop count they were on — but WHY do that when you can spend EIGHTY DOLLARS to prevent such a simple task?!! (Oh, and have the on-going expense of the electricity to run this thing, in addition to the outrageous cost of formula.)

As far as I can tell, this device might only be useful in a daycare facility with numerous babies — but all of those babies would have to be on the exact same brand and type of formula, which is extremely unlikely. At most daycare facilities, half the kids are drinking pumped bottles, a few might be on anti-reflux formula, another few might be on soy formula because of a milk allergy, and just one kid might be using the run-of-the-mill stuff. A device like this would be more hassle than help.

From personal experience, I know that scooping formula into a bottle is one of the easiest tasks there is when it comes to parenting. (I’ll take scooping formula over changing diapers!) An electronic formula dispenser is wholly unnecessary. And, as one parent suggested in the comments to a post years ago, it’s really easy to premix a pitcher full of formula each morning and just pour from the pitcher into bottles as you need them. Then, you only have to scoop once a day, when you’re rested, and can remember how many scoops you’ve put in the pitcher.

Posted by Erin on Feb 1, 2012 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Avocado Cuber (and Avocado Pit Removal Tool and Avo Saver and Avocado Knife)

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m fairly certain our Unitasker Wednesday feature could exist entirely on kitchen gadgets that do the same thing as knives. There are so many of these doodads and geegaws that you might be able to avoid using a knife in your kitchen completely if you had an unlimited supply of money and storage space. Sure, knives are incredibly functional and built to handle all your chopping, slicing, and dicing needs — but why use an incredibly simple knife with products like the over-engineered Avocado Cuber on the market:

My word. Are people really so rushed for time that they can’t watch a one-and-a-half minute YouTube video to learn how to cut an avocado with a knife, but somehow have enough time to drive to Williams-Sonoma to buy this thing? What confuses me the most is that you have to use a knife to cut the avocado in half and remove the pit just so you can use this device. Therefore, you dirty a knife and the Avocado Cuber, creating twice as many dirty dishes. Any time you might save using this device (which, my guess, is not that much) you then waste when you have to wash twice as many gadgets after slicing.

Well, if you like extremely specific kitchen tools made for just one purpose, don’t forget to buy an Avocado Pit Removal Tool, an Avo Saver (you’re apparently saving the “avo” half, not the “cado”), and an Avocado Knife to go with your Avocado Cuber. Who only knows how you will function in your kitchen if you don’t have all four specialty gadgets?!

Posted by Erin on Jan 25, 2012 | 22 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Sküüzi

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t have much issue with this week’s unitasker selection of the Sküüzi, “the Scandinavian koozie.” It’s an adorable little mitten and koozie …

… except it appears to have a fatal flaw.

If it’s cold enough outdoors that you need to wear gloves, isn’t it cold enough outdoors to keep your beer cold without a koozie?

Thanks to reader Alv for sending this one our way.

Posted by Erin on Jan 18, 2012 | 24 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: English Muffin Splitter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker selection is so absurd that I fear anything I write about it won’t be as funny as the actual object. I’ll simply introduce you to the object and then you can have a good chuckle without my interference. The English Muffin Splitter:

Wowza, right?

But, jut in case someone is considering buying this doodad, here are a few alternatives to using the English Muffin Splitter that I came up with in less than a minute:

  1. Your fingers
  2. A sharp knife, or, heck, even a dull knife
  3. A pie server
  4. The handle of a spoon or fork
  5. The head of a spoon or fork
  6. A spatula
  7. The edge of a plate
  8. Any flat-ish, hard-ish object ever created
  9. Nothing — who cares if an English muffin isn’t evenly split?!

Thanks to the hoard of Unclutterer readers who found this object and emailed it to us. A terrific unitasker discovery!

Posted by Erin on Jan 11, 2012 | 31 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Jalapeno Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Back in middle school and high school, I participated in the popular extra-curricular activity Model United Nations. I wasn’t really interested in the resolution writing and nation researching aspects of the club (seemed to resemble “education”), mostly I just liked the parts where we socialized with kids from other schools (diplomacy!). Although I might have been representing Greece or France officially, I would just tell everyone I was from the nation of Jalapeno Twinkies.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies was a fantastic place to represent. It was spicy, sweet, and everyone ate cake with dinner. The people of Jalapeno Twinkies knew how to have a good time. One thing is for certain, though, the people of Jalapeno Twinkies would never, not ever, remove seeds from jalapenos before eating them. Why would anyone remove the best part? Jalapeno seeds are the spicy delicious part!

As a former fake Ambassador of Jalapeno Twinkies, I am truly baffled by the need for a Jalapeno Corer:

Forgetting for a moment the imaginary nation of Jalapeno Twinkies (it will be difficult, I know), I’m fully perplexed as to why a paring knife is insufficient for coring a jalapeno. A paring knife is smaller than the Jalapeno Corer, it works on things other than jalapenos, you probably already own one, and it’s extremely simple to use. If you’re planning to stuff the jalapeno to make poppers, you cut off the top of the pepper, insert the knife and make a swooping motion around the inside of the pepper cutting free the core (exactly like you would with the Jalapeno Corer), turn the pepper upside down and tap out the core and seeds. If you’re chopping up a jalapeno, simply do what the woman does in this short YouTube video. I don’t advocate cutting out the delicious, spicy seeds of a jalapeno, but if you must, a paring knife is certainly the uncluttered way to go.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies endorses this message.

Posted by Erin on Jan 4, 2012 | 24 Comments | Tweet This