Archives for Unitasker Wednesday

Unitasker Wednesday: Puppy Tweets

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t usually consider novelty items for unitasker selections. However, when novelties fail at being novel, I can’t pass up on such easy targets. This week, I present to you Puppy Tweets:

What is a Puppy Tweets? It’s a device your dog wears around its neck that transmits messages to your computer so your dog can tweet. Because, um, tweeting is something you really want your dog to do? From the product description on Amazon:

When your dog moves, barks, or naps the tag sends a Tweet via Twitter

According to a ridiculous number of bad reviews on Amazon, however, this isn’t actually what happens. Along with the devices (the dog tag and a USB antenna), you have to install a program on your computer to use Puppy Tweets. This program contains a preset list of messages that send from your computer every hour you have the program running. Your dog doesn’t have to wear the device (which is apparently quite large and uncomfortable for small dogs to wear), and you don’t have to use the USB antenna to detect movement, barking, or napping. Simply run the program, and receive bad jokes and puns from your dog via Twitter (not even transcriptions of your dog’s actual barks). You can even go into the program files and change the text of the tweets before they are sent, thus ruining the surprise of what your dog isn’t thinking!

In short, you could easily write up a bunch of pretend tweets from your dog in HootSuite and time them to send one an hour and have the exact same experience for free. I’m not really sure why you would want to receive fake tweets from your pet, though. That part continues to confuse me.

Thankfully, if such a not-so-novel product interests you, the Puppy Tweets in blue is only $1.10. If you want to part with more of your money, it’s $7.59 in pink.

Posted by Erin on Feb 8, 2012 | 18 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Baby Buddy Bottle Buddy

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker selection rises to a brand new level of unitaskery, and does so with an $80 price tag. Introducing Baby Buddy Bottle Buddy: The Electronic Formula Dispenser:

According to the product description, the purpose of this electronic device is to keep a new parent or caregiver from wondering “was that five or six scoops?” Sure, the new parent or caregiver could simply pour the dry formula back into its original package and scoop it out again just to be certain what scoop count they were on — but WHY do that when you can spend EIGHTY DOLLARS to prevent such a simple task?!! (Oh, and have the on-going expense of the electricity to run this thing, in addition to the outrageous cost of formula.)

As far as I can tell, this device might only be useful in a daycare facility with numerous babies — but all of those babies would have to be on the exact same brand and type of formula, which is extremely unlikely. At most daycare facilities, half the kids are drinking pumped bottles, a few might be on anti-reflux formula, another few might be on soy formula because of a milk allergy, and just one kid might be using the run-of-the-mill stuff. A device like this would be more hassle than help.

From personal experience, I know that scooping formula into a bottle is one of the easiest tasks there is when it comes to parenting. (I’ll take scooping formula over changing diapers!) An electronic formula dispenser is wholly unnecessary. And, as one parent suggested in the comments to a post years ago, it’s really easy to premix a pitcher full of formula each morning and just pour from the pitcher into bottles as you need them. Then, you only have to scoop once a day, when you’re rested, and can remember how many scoops you’ve put in the pitcher.

Posted by Erin on Feb 1, 2012 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Avocado Cuber (and Avocado Pit Removal Tool and Avo Saver and Avocado Knife)

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m fairly certain our Unitasker Wednesday feature could exist entirely on kitchen gadgets that do the same thing as knives. There are so many of these doodads and geegaws that you might be able to avoid using a knife in your kitchen completely if you had an unlimited supply of money and storage space. Sure, knives are incredibly functional and built to handle all your chopping, slicing, and dicing needs — but why use an incredibly simple knife with products like the over-engineered Avocado Cuber on the market:

My word. Are people really so rushed for time that they can’t watch a one-and-a-half minute YouTube video to learn how to cut an avocado with a knife, but somehow have enough time to drive to Williams-Sonoma to buy this thing? What confuses me the most is that you have to use a knife to cut the avocado in half and remove the pit just so you can use this device. Therefore, you dirty a knife and the Avocado Cuber, creating twice as many dirty dishes. Any time you might save using this device (which, my guess, is not that much) you then waste when you have to wash twice as many gadgets after slicing.

Well, if you like extremely specific kitchen tools made for just one purpose, don’t forget to buy an Avocado Pit Removal Tool, an Avo Saver (you’re apparently saving the “avo” half, not the “cado”), and an Avocado Knife to go with your Avocado Cuber. Who only knows how you will function in your kitchen if you don’t have all four specialty gadgets?!

Posted by Erin on Jan 25, 2012 | 22 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Sküüzi

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t have much issue with this week’s unitasker selection of the Sküüzi, “the Scandinavian koozie.” It’s an adorable little mitten and koozie …

… except it appears to have a fatal flaw.

If it’s cold enough outdoors that you need to wear gloves, isn’t it cold enough outdoors to keep your beer cold without a koozie?

Thanks to reader Alv for sending this one our way.

Posted by Erin on Jan 18, 2012 | 24 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: English Muffin Splitter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker selection is so absurd that I fear anything I write about it won’t be as funny as the actual object. I’ll simply introduce you to the object and then you can have a good chuckle without my interference. The English Muffin Splitter:

Wowza, right?

But, jut in case someone is considering buying this doodad, here are a few alternatives to using the English Muffin Splitter that I came up with in less than a minute:

  1. Your fingers
  2. A sharp knife, or, heck, even a dull knife
  3. A pie server
  4. The handle of a spoon or fork
  5. The head of a spoon or fork
  6. A spatula
  7. The edge of a plate
  8. Any flat-ish, hard-ish object ever created
  9. Nothing — who cares if an English muffin isn’t evenly split?!

Thanks to the hoard of Unclutterer readers who found this object and emailed it to us. A terrific unitasker discovery!

Posted by Erin on Jan 11, 2012 | 30 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Jalapeno Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Back in middle school and high school, I participated in the popular extra-curricular activity Model United Nations. I wasn’t really interested in the resolution writing and nation researching aspects of the club (seemed to resemble “education”), mostly I just liked the parts where we socialized with kids from other schools (diplomacy!). Although I might have been representing Greece or France officially, I would just tell everyone I was from the nation of Jalapeno Twinkies.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies was a fantastic place to represent. It was spicy, sweet, and everyone ate cake with dinner. The people of Jalapeno Twinkies knew how to have a good time. One thing is for certain, though, the people of Jalapeno Twinkies would never, not ever, remove seeds from jalapenos before eating them. Why would anyone remove the best part? Jalapeno seeds are the spicy delicious part!

As a former fake Ambassador of Jalapeno Twinkies, I am truly baffled by the need for a Jalapeno Corer:

Forgetting for a moment the imaginary nation of Jalapeno Twinkies (it will be difficult, I know), I’m fully perplexed as to why a paring knife is insufficient for coring a jalapeno. A paring knife is smaller than the Jalapeno Corer, it works on things other than jalapenos, you probably already own one, and it’s extremely simple to use. If you’re planning to stuff the jalapeno to make poppers, you cut off the top of the pepper, insert the knife and make a swooping motion around the inside of the pepper cutting free the core (exactly like you would with the Jalapeno Corer), turn the pepper upside down and tap out the core and seeds. If you’re chopping up a jalapeno, simply do what the woman does in this short YouTube video. I don’t advocate cutting out the delicious, spicy seeds of a jalapeno, but if you must, a paring knife is certainly the uncluttered way to go.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies endorses this message.

Posted by Erin on Jan 4, 2012 | 24 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Kiwi Guard

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

New Year’s Eve is right around the corner and you’re probably wondering what to get all your party guests as parting gifts as they leave your celebration. (Or to give as host gifts if you’re heading out to a party at someone else’s home.) You want to be a good unclutterer and not send them home with any unitaskers, but you also don’t want to be a stick in the mud and give boring gifts. What to do? What to do …

Wait! I know! You should give the Kiwi Guard:

It’s definitely NOT a unitasker. Nope. You could easily also use it on a … a … a … lime? Sure, okay, a lime! A kiwi AND a lime! It’s a multitasker!

Huh.

Maybe it’s better to hand out bottles of champagne and call it a year …

Thanks to reader Anis for finding us this incredibly specific device to protect a single kiwi.

Posted by Erin on Dec 28, 2011 | 19 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Elf on the Shelf

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I like the holidays. I really do. I enjoy spending time with my family and sharing a good meal with good conversation and watching my son in the Christmas pageant. I look forward to exchanging gifts with my nearest and dearest and trimming the tree. I’m someone who prefers her holidays to be simple and free of rats who tattle on you to Santa Claus, like The Elf on the Shelf does:

If you have kids under the age of 15 and celebrate Christmas, you’re probably a fan of the Shelf Elf and now believe me to be the most awful human on the planet. “She doesn’t like the Shelf Elf? She picked the innocent Shelf Elf as a unitasker selection?! She must hate puppies and rainbows, too!”

If you don’t have kids and don’t celebrate Christmas, you’re likely confused by this little guy — this creepy, big eye, pointy nose, weird little guy. Which, is exactly as it should be. You should be confused and scared and in complete agreement with me.

Some background for the uninformed: There is a book you can buy for about $30 that tells the story of the Shelf Elf. In the book, it explains that the Shelf Elf is a spy for Santa Claus. He watches over your family throughout the day, takes scores of mental notes, and then while you sleep he reports back to Santa what happened that day. The next morning, the Shelf Elf is back, but he’s in a different spot in your home. Children are supposed to behave until Christmas out of fear that the Shelf Elf will give Santa a bad report and they’re supposed to want to hunt for the Shelf Elf each morning when they wake.

I have so many issues with this. First, how do you know your elf is honest? How do you know he’s reporting accurately what he sees to Santa? I liked it better when there wasn’t a middleman and Santa just assumed everyone was nice. Timmy? Nice. Sally? Nice. Bobby? Also nice. I’ve seen Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and I know Santa is a generous spirit who is eager to forgive grievances and sounds an awful lot like Mickey Rooney. Second, the elf is a SPY. He’s a spy who repeatedly breaks into your house and you’re so terrified of him and what he’ll tell Santa that you don’t call the cops. When did Santa become a thug who orders elf operatives to break into your home? I’m not okay with this. Santa does not rule some kind of elf underworld. Third, why would anyone eagerly want to hunt for a creep like the Shelf Elf? If I were a kid, I’d flush the eerie thing down the toilet and hope that Santa just thought he took up with some lady elf in Reno. Finally, where’s the motivation for your kid to behave the rest of the year? All this disturbing piece of plastic with beady eyes and freakishly long limbs lacking muscle tone does is instill terror in my kid for most of the month of December. I’d rather my son behave all year round because of a belief in the golden rule, compassion, and empathy, not because of an anxiety-fueled ulcer resulting from a fear of an elf mafia.

Except for horrifying children and adults, I’m not sure the Elf on the Shelf has much task at all. Dude, he seriously gives me the willies.

P.S. Please don’t take this post too seriously. I’m just having fun.

Posted by Erin on Dec 14, 2011 | 103 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The brie baker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Kitchen gadgets are such easy targets for unitasker selections that I almost feel like I’m cheating when I choose one to feature. This week’s selection was so outrageous, though, that I had to run it. Introducing the brie baker:

What makes the brie baker so bizarre is that it is 7″ in diameter. The standard wheel of French brie is between 9″ and 15″ in diameter, making this dish completely useless for the majority of brie on the market. There are also mini brie wheels, but they’re 4.5″ in diameter, which doesn’t work with the dish, either. Now, I don’t know about you, but size seems like an arbitrary method for selecting cheese to serve to guests and/or family. Maybe I’m weird, but I buy cheese based on flavor, not size.

The other thing that is weird about the brie baker is that it has an incredibly shallow lid. Again, there isn’t a standard height for French brie, so it can be taller than the 2.75″ lid provided. Specifically, a wheel of mini brie might be as tall as 3″ or 4″, similar to a Camembert. This lid would just wobble on top of the brie instead of protecting it.

The uncluttered way to bake brie is to bake it in whatever baking dish you already own, cover it with the lid of your baking dish, and then move the brie to a plate you also already own for serving. No storage space sacrificed for a brie baker you’ll rarely ever use, and no need to buy cheese based on its diameter.

It is a pretty little dish, though. Sadly, pretty doesn’t make it functional.

Posted by Erin on Dec 7, 2011 | 19 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Puzzle Sorters Puzzling Made EZ

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

While on a recent trip inside Barnes and Noble, reader Megan had reason to stop and pause. It wasn’t a book title that caught her eye, nor was it a glossy magazine cover. On this particular trip, it was a unitasker that tempted her to pull out her camera and snap a picture of the Puzzle Sorters Puzzling Made EZ:

For $17 you can be the proud owner of what she describes as:

… a set of 8 plastic (of course) “sorting trays” to assist in doing puzzles. Now you can put all the pieces of similar colors into these trays instead of putting them on the table like countless other puzzledoers have been doing for generations.

And, if square trays aren’t your style, you can also get them in oval!

At first, I thought maybe they were a teaching tool for young children. Except, the box and product description clearly state that they’re not appropriate for people under the age of 12. Like Megan, I’m stumped as to why someone would need these. If having sorting trays were really important, couldn’t saucers or salad plates (which you may already own and rarely use) or paper plates (100 for 1/3 of the price) work? At least with paper plates you could write on them to explain exactly what type of pieces you have in that pile. You can’t easily write in a non-permanent way on plastic trays.

Finally, I’m starting to find that any device with the word “EZ” in the title is usually worth considering for a unitasker submission (e.g. the EZ Cracker).

Thanks, Megan, for taking a few minutes out of your Barnes and Noble trip to share this with us.

Posted by Erin on Nov 30, 2011 | 24 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Fizz Saver 2-Liter Soda Soft Drink Dispenser

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

In theory, I don’t have issue with this week’s unitasker selection (the idea of not having flat soda is a good one). In practice, however, the Fizz Saver 2-Liter Soda Soft Drink Dispenser is an accident waiting to happen:

We all know that 2-liter bottles of soda are difficult to handle and unwieldy in smaller hands. Unfortunately, I can’t imagine a full bottle of soda could sit on that itty bitty stand and not fall over or off the counter and make an enormous mess. On the first use, I would end up wearing every ounce of liquid in the bottle. Plus, there would be little drops of soda on the counter or floor beneath the dispenser that would create a sticky blob. Who knows what would happen at a party of junior high students and a half dozen of these?! Heck, just looking at them I’m tempted to have a soda fight!

—

I loved everyone’s entries for last week’s You write the commentary. You are a very creative lot of folks! But, alas, I had to pick a favorite.

Honorable Mentions
Ruth: “It’s like looking at Berlin after the wall went up … or Romeo and Juliet. Sad little cereal exiled from that lovely lake of milk. That little escape route on one end just doesn’t do it…these two aren’t lovers any more, they have to meet on supervised visits. Tear down that bowl! Make breakfast, not war!”

Marianne: “Would you want to eat out of something that was named after the Greek coins buried with the dead to secure passage to the afterlife? Or maybe named after a Swedish company involved in a major fraud scandal? (Source Wikipedia). But maybe that is what it’s all about: to swindle you out of your coins.”

My Favorite
J.P.’s fictional saga of getting revenge on cereal for the death of his mother: “… Now, each morning, I fill my Obol with milk, then slowly, oh so slowly, pour the cereal into the adjacent compartment. I want it to know whats coming. Drowning? Too good for cereal. Annihilation by mastication? Over too fast. No, the cereal must wait, sitting in its compartment, anticipating the suffering to come.”

To all who participated, thank you. I had a really great time reviewing the entires.

Posted by Erin on Nov 16, 2011 | 12 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: YOU write the commentary

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

To mix things up, this week we’re going to have a little fun. I’ll present the unitasker selection, and then you all write the commentary in the comments section. Next week, I’ll announce my favorite at the end of the Unitasker Wednesday post on the 16th and send a signed copy of my book — Unclutter Your Life in One Week — to that person. Yes, people outside the U.S. can participate. And, please, only one submission per person. Have your submissions in by Monday, November 14, to have your commentary considered.

Introducing the Obol, the Never Soggy Cereal Bowl:

Now, be creative! I am so excited to read your comments and have dozens upon dozens of laughs.

Posted by Erin on Nov 9, 2011 | 73 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Cirrus Press ice ball maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker was submitted to us by reader SF, who asked if the Cirrus Press ice ball maker is “For the person who has everything?”

At $799 a piece, I have to agree with SF that the buyer must already own everything. And, in addition to having everything, I think the person must also have an insane amount of time on his/her hands to only make one ice ball at a time. The product description says that it would be perfect for a bartender to use, which seems extremely unlikely based upon every bar I’ve been to where time is very precious to a bartender.

Make no mistake, I’m all in favor of slowly melting ice that doesn’t dilute my drink, but at this price I could buy alcohol so good that it doesn’t need to be chilled — and have money left over to give to charity or give to friends/family/strangers or to buy myself a new drink if one became watered down.

An alternative might be Sipping Stones, which won’t dilute your drink with water and cost less than $20. Plus, they don’t make your drink so cold that you can’t taste the drink (a problem I’ve sometimes encountered when having drinks “on the rocks”). Or, if you are committed to the idea of having a single, large, ice ball in every beverage, consider the Prepara Ice Ball Makers, where you can get four forms for less than $10. These even appear to have the bonus of being able to add mint or juice or grenadine or whatever you might want to add to the ice to liven up a drink.

I’m sure the Cirrus Press ice ball maker is pretty cool, I’m just not certain it is $799 cool, nor $790 cooler than the Prepara Ice Ball Makers.

Posted by Erin on Nov 2, 2011 | 29 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Pumpkin Gutter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Halloween is less than a week away and gourds of all shapes and sizes are popping up in fields and on dining tables and adorning stoops and front porches. These gourds may be small, hefty, orange, yellow, green, brown, round, club shaped, bottle shaped, painted, or carved. One thing is for certain — Americans love gourds in late October. Gourds! Gourds! Gourds!

If you have plans to carve your gourd into a jack-o-lantern, I’m sure you have acquired all your special pumpkin-carving tools: knives and ice cream scoop. If you’re a fancy pumpkin carver, you’ve probably also put that grapefruit spoon to use on “shadow” work. (Look at that, grapefruit spoons have more than one purpose!) The really hardcore among you, however, might also whip out your drill and attach the Pumpkin Gutter drill bit!

This bad boy will gut the innards out of your pumpkin faster than you can say, “Why do I need this when I can use an ice cream scoop?”

Granted, the video demonstration of the tool is pretty kick arse and if you have dozens of gourds to gut this Halloween, or if you’re a professional gourd artist like my friend Angela Lexow, I can see how this device could be useful (surprisingly, the Amazon reviews are all sincere five-star rankings). I’m just sticking with my ice cream scoop, though, as I’m usually a one- or two-gourd gutting gal each Halloween. Plus, ye olde ice cream scoop allows me to put my biceps to work scooping and scraping out all those guts.

Our appreciation goes to reader Danielle for introducing us to this seasonally appropriate unitasker. Happy (early) Halloween!

Posted by Erin on Oct 26, 2011 | 31 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Retro POP Handset

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

My friend’s son recently asked her what games she liked to play on her phone when she was a kid. Oh, if only calling 867-5309 repeatedly were a game …

Anyhoo, this week’s Unitasker selection is one way you can teach your children that we all used to have dumb-phones instead of smart ones. Other than teaching your children this lesson, however, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want to use the microphone on your telephone, iPad, or laptop when communicating digitally/wirelessly with someone else — or, you know, just use a wall or desk phone as an alternative. The Retro POP Handset is cute, though, and would certainly be a conversation piece. (Did you catch my really bad pun right there? A conversation piece? Wacka wacka!):

Thanks to reader Crystal for leading us to this novel unitasker.

Posted by Erin on Oct 19, 2011 | 31 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Pizza Scissors/Spatula–Cut n Serve

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

What I love about this week’s unitasker is that it proudly acknowledges its unitasker-y status. It screams, “I have ONE purpose and I DON’T CARE!”

It doesn’t make any excuses for who it is. It doesn’t claim to work on pie or poultry or paper or anything else that might benefit from the slicing action of two sharp blades. This bad boy is committed to PIZZA. Heck, it’s only committed to round pizza. Forget square pizza or the amoeba-shaped pizzas that come out of my oven, the Pizza Scissors/Spatula-Cut n Serve doesn’t want to work with them. Nice, triangular pieces cut from a perfectly round pizza are all this baby wants to touch. Move over traditional pizza cutter and general use spatula, now there is something with fewer use options that will only replace you in very specific circumstances. High five, Pizza Scissors/Spatula–Cut n Serve. Unitaskers represent!

Thanks to reader Mary for introducing us to this week’s unitasker.

Posted by Erin on Oct 12, 2011 | 30 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I have to confess — this week’s unitasker has more than one purpose. Not only is it great for holding your laptop, book, cell phone, and food as you drive, but it’s also perfect for crushing your ribs and/or impaling you when you get into inevitable accidents! (Notice I chose to use the plural on accidents.) The Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk:

The 580 customer reviews on Amazon for this $20 product are (for the most part) wonderfully creative and funny. The “other views” product images are pretty irreverent, too. Even if it’s not a true unitasker, it’s certainly a bad idea. Since people can’t refrain from using their cell phones while driving, you know someone would use the Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk while cruising down the highway!

Posted by Erin on Oct 5, 2011 | 36 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Rice Cube

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

One of the cool things about making sushi rolls is that the method you use allows you to make numerous pieces of sushi at once. You get six pieces from just one roll. You set down a mat (and this step is even optional), put dried seaweed and rice on it, add your fillings, roll it all up, and then slice the tube into six pieces. [How to.]

When using really good sushi rice, you don’t have to use a mat or seaweed. All you need are your hands to make the sushi into any shape you desire. If you want your sushi to look like something other than a circle, just mold it. A rabbit! An hourglass! A snake! A cube …

… which brings us to today’s unitasker, the Rice Cube:

Seeing as all you have to do is use your hands to form a cube of sushi, I’m not sure why you would need this special rice-constriction device. It only makes one piece of sushi at a time (as opposed to six), and it does exactly what your hands can do (the exact hands you have to use to operate the device). If you’re obsessed with being exact and having all of your cubes look identical, a clean ruler pressed against the sides of a sushi roll before cutting does the exact same thing. And, you likely already own a ruler. (Be sure to use a very sharp knife with a wet blade so your cubes don’t smash down as you apply pressure to slice.)

After years of writing about unitaskers, I’m finding that most kitchen unitaskers aren’t about saving time, but rather about replacing basic skills. In this case, watching a free, eight-minute video on how to make sushi rolls could save you the $25 you might spend on this device.

Thanks go to Jessica for sharing this unitasker with us.

Posted by Erin on Sep 28, 2011 | 20 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Coneivore

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

For the second week in a row, I’m a little stumped about the intended purpose of the device we’ve chosen for the Unitasker Wednesday feature. In this specific case, it’s pretty clear what it does — you pick up pine cones (or apples, walnuts, Magnolia pods) with it. However, I don’t know why someone would want to pick up pine cones into a tube. Introducing the Coneivore Pine Cone Pickup Tool:

As someone who lives in the middle of a forest, I have numerous pine cones in my yard. I also have pine needles, dead leaves from deciduous trees, sticks, acorns, and remnants of what used to be flowers before the deer and rabbits decided to have a snack. Before I can mow the yard, I have to rake up all the debris so these things don’t clog up my reel mower. My neighbors rake their yards so these things don’t become deathly projectiles shooting out the side of their gas powered mowers. We all have to rake before we mow, so why make things more complicated with an additional step of first collecting all of the pine cones into a tube? Once you pick up all the pine cones, do you dump them into the compost bin or rubbish pile with the other stuff you raked up separately? Are pine cones some special class of yard debris that require VIP treatment? Should I also be hiring a limo and taking my pine cones out for a night on the town? Are they too good to be touched by a rake? Maybe the Coneivore is for artists who work with pine cones as their medium? Oh, or maybe Girl Scout leaders who help kids turn pine cones into squirrel feeders by covering them in peanut butter?

My gut tells me that there is some intended purpose for this device that I am just failing to recognize. Share your guesses in the comments, and thank reader BG for finding it for us.

Posted by Erin on Sep 21, 2011 | 31 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Vacu Vin Egg Pillow

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This is a first: Today’s unitasker is so outrageously mind-boggling I don’t even know what it does. As a result, I’m at a complete loss for what to write about it. Instead of providing witty banter, I’ll simply show you The Vacu Vin Egg Pillow:

Are they bean bags? Air-filled cushions? Is the egg sleeping, is that why it needs a pillow? Do eggs sleep? Do eggs have to “rest” after you cook them? Do you cook with these pillows? Do you put raw eggs or hard boiled eggs on them? Are they heat resistant? Do you use them in your refrigerator? Do you need a dozen? Why would someone need these? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

Thanks to all the wonderful readers who sent in this item for us to consider.

Posted by Erin on Sep 14, 2011 | 49 Comments | Tweet This