All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
I’ve mentioned before that I’m not much of a fan of cherries (that is unless they’re candied and slathered in chocolate or soaked in maraschino liqueur, because those types of cherries are tolerable). Until I had children, I didn’t even own a cherry pitter — no need for one. Then, last spring, my then-three-year-old son declared that he loved cherries and that he wanted to eat “all the cherries in the world.” So, like mothers tend to do when their kids express eagerness about eating fresh fruit when it’s in season, I tried my best to buy all the cherries and also picked up a $15 cherry pitter to make the process of eating a cherry less troublesome for the kid.
The device is quite simple to use and I even made a few cherry pies at the start of the summer (humming the atrocious “Cherry Pie” song the entire time, no thanks to Warrant). It’s small, it does what it needs to do, it can also be used on olives, and in May of this year I started regularly using it again when cherries came back into season.
Seeing as there is this totally useful, small device that has existed for hundreds of years to effectively remove pits from cherries, you can imagine my amazement (horror?) when I came across this monstrosity — the Leifheit 37200 Cherrymat Cherrystone Remover
Oh my goodness, this thing is huge. Unless you own an enormous bakery or restaurant, I don’t know why anyone would sacrifice so much storage space for a cherry pitter. It does the exact same thing as the smaller model — one at a time pit removal — at about the same speed but at more than double the price ($40). And it’s not alone, the Norpro Deluxe Cherry Pitter is almost as large. There is an entire market of giant cherry pit removers!
With any product you choose to keep in your home, you should ask yourself if it’s worth the storage space (and for a seasonal product like this, you have to consider at least nine months of storage each year without any use). Specifically, a giant cherry pitter is likely not worth it, especially when there is a significantly smaller product that does the exact same thing with the same amount of effort. Or, if you’re like me and don’t like cherries, owning the smaller cherry pitter might not even be worth the storage space. It’s good to think about the items you already own and about anything you are considering purchasing — do you need the Leifheit 37200 Cherrymat Cherrystone Remover when a less expensive and smaller handheld cherry pitter will completely meet your needs? You’ll have to make the call, but it’s something to consider. Your space, time, and money are limited — are you okay with making these tradeoffs in pursuit of the life you desire? Only you know the answer.