Archives for Unitasker Wednesday

Unitasker Wednesday: Calendar 2010 Rolling Pin

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

As a promotion to build brand awareness, the company World Wide Bakery (a Macedonian company known for their frozen, stuffed, savory pies) made and distributed the unitasking wonder known as the Calendar 2010 Rolling Pin.

Not only is this item limited to being used for just a 12-month time period (or, rather, 11 months now that it’s February), but it has to be used in conjunction with another rolling pin that first flattens the dough to a smooth finish. And, I have yet to come up with a reason why someone would want to roll the 2010 calendar into their baked goods. The whole idea seems a little odd to me.

Granted, if you chose to use it as a weapon to fight off home invaders, then it would clearly be a multi-tasker. However, I don’t think violence was what World Wide Bakery had in mind when they produced this unitasking gem.

(Thanks to Sarah for the link and Ads of the World for the images.)

Posted by Erin on Feb 3, 2010 | 33 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Mini Cupcake Maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Cupcakes are certainly the hip sweet treat these days. Walking through many cities across the U.S., you’re likely to find as many coffee shops as cupcake spots. But, you don’t have to wander in and buy these desserts — make them at home! While you’re at it, don’t even use your oven (which you already own) or a cupcake tin (which usually retails for just $7.00). Instead, purchase and use your extremely specific Mini Cupcake Maker:

After using this confection-specific appliance, store it in your cabinet next to your Muffin Magic, your cupcake batter dispenser, and your Perfect Brownie pan.

Or don’t.

Thanks to reader Janet for introducing us to this kitchen unitasker.

Posted by Erin on Jan 27, 2010 | 18 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Being a new mom, I spent a number of weeks being a lot more aware of the massive marketing efforts directed toward first-time pregnant women and parents. I specifically mention “first-time” because my eyes are already starting to go back to glossing over these advertisements — the same way I no longer see bridal or cigarette ads.

The stuff being marketed to first-time pregnant women and parents is about 1/4 necessary, 1/4 might-be useful to some people, and 1/2 scams and clutter. As proof of the scams and clutter category, I present the Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System:

From the Manufacturer’s description:

The Ritmo advanced sound system by Nuvo is the most advanced and complete system for delivering quality and safe sound to prenatal listeners.

I wanted to know if this was true, so I asked my friend’s unborn daughter what she thought. Her response:

It may deliver “safe sound” but I have to disagree with Nuvo’s claims about quality. I find the system to lack the mid-range fullness I’m seeking for my womb. I also dislike the inability to adjust the bass, treble, and playlist from anywhere inside the placenta. Who chose this crappy music? I’d love to rock out to some Rammstein.

How any of us grew up to be functioning adults without our mothers using the Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System, I shall never know.

(Special thanks to reader Wobagi for this unitasker, via Engadget.)

Posted by Erin on Jan 20, 2010 | 33 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday, er, Thursday: Desktop V Twin Engine

All Unitasker posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. To make up for skipping yesterday’s regular feature, we’re sneaking one in for this light-hearted themed Thursday. Enjoy!

Reader Sarah sent us what she believes to be the worst unitasker ever. I may have to disagree with her, because as far as I can tell this product is a no-tasker. It doesn’t do anything. It is so pointless that it may not even rise to unitasker status. Introducing, the Desktop V Twin Engine, which powers nothing!

After filling its reservoir with butane (commonly available at drug stores), the engine is started by turning its solid brass flywheel … Its non-toxic exhaust allows you to operate the engine in a ventilated room. It operates up to 10 minutes from a full tank.

I stand corrected, it does do something — Wastes butane! For 10 whole minutes!

For all you butane haters, this is the device for you. At just $1,000 Canadian dollars (US $967), you can burn, burn, burn butane in your ventilated room to your heart’s content. Vroooooom, vroooooooom!

Posted by Erin on Jan 14, 2010 | 39 Comments | Tweet This

Can a waffle iron make more than waffles?

Back in 2007, the stand-alone waffle maker was listed as one of our first Unitasker Wednesday features. To put it mildly, there was significant “disagreement” from readers with our decision to list it.

I’ve always been of the opinion that a grill with multiple removable plates, of which one is a waffle maker, is the better way to go if you really enjoy making waffles at home. Instead of storing five separate appliances, you store one appliance and five sets of plates that take up significantly less space. We’ve even run a great tip from a reader explaining how to store the plates in an organized manner.

For the first time ever, though, I have come to doubt our Unitasker designation for the waffle maker after learning about the fun new website: Waffleizer.com.

This new website has already featured recipes for hamburgers, bread pudding (pictured), and hash browns. It is a blog dedicated to “alternative recipes for your waffle iron.” The blog promises to post 30 non-traditional uses for a waffle maker, and a month of recipes would certainly turn a Unitasker into a multi-tasker. I’m eager to see the next 27 recipes, and I hope that if you have a stand-alone waffle maker in your cupboard that you consider giving these alternative recipes a try. Bring out that Unitasker and see if it can really make more than Saturday morning breakfast.

(Thanks to Serious Eats for introducing us to this new site. Bread pudding image from Waffleizer.com)

Posted by Erin on Jan 12, 2010 | 23 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Chair socks

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Look at these cute socks:

Oh, wait. You’re saying they’re not socks I can wear? They’re socks for my chairs?!

Why in the world does my chair need socks?! Are its legs cold? Does it wish to look stylish when its frolicking outdoors in its parka? Are the inexpensive and unnoticeable cork floor protectors no longer suffice at keeping scratches off my hard wood floor? Is my chair being immodest if it shows off all of its leg?

And, what if my chair is clearly female but wishes to wear the “argyle male” color pattern? Huh?! What should it do, then?!!

Phew! I’m noticing now that the chair socks are not available in the U.S. I am tempted no longer.

(A wonderful word of thanks to Louise for finding these adorable unitaskers.)

Posted by Erin on Jan 6, 2010 | 61 Comments | Tweet This

Best unitaskers of 2009

With only one more day left in 2009, I thought it might be fun to relive some of my favorite unitaskers from the year. Enjoy!

The book brush:

The Tootsie Tanner:

The Hawaii Chair:

The Garbage Bowl:

The Meatball Grill Basket:

The Cooler Dry

Plastic wishbones:

And, for the big finale, what I do believe was THE best unitasker of 2009 — drumroll please — The Spin the Bottle Game:

What were your favorite unitaskers from the past year? Check out our Unitasker Wednesday archives for a complete walk down memory lane.

Posted by Erin on Dec 30, 2009 | 14 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Tuna Squeeze

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The last unitasker of 2009 is the Tuna Squeeze!

No longer do you need to use the lid of the tuna can to conveniently drain off the water or oil packed with the fish. With the Tuna Squeeze, why, just open your kitchen drawer, remove your can opener, open your can of tuna, remove the lid, quickly rinse the lid, toss the lid into the recycling, open your kitchen drawer again to return the can opener and pull out your Tuna Squeeze, insert your can of tuna into the Tuna Squeeze, press down on the plastic top piece, drain the liquid into the sink, open the top piece of the Tuna Squeeze, remove the can of tuna, open your dishwasher, put the Tuna Squeeze on the top shelf, and then shut your dishwasher. It can be that easy!

And, if you order now, you get not one, but TWO Tuna Squeezes for $10.00 — I’m sold!

(Special thanks go to reader Paula for bringing this fishy unitasker to our attention.)

Posted by Erin on Dec 30, 2009 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Gift Wrap Cutter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Scissors are so obsolete. Sure, they have efficiently and effectively cut billions of things for more than 3,500 years, but whatever. You’re not into multi-taskers. You’re all about tools that only have one specific purpose, like the Gift Wrap Cutter:

Additionally, the “the Gift Wrap Cutter from Inovent makes gift-wrapping as much fun as opening your own presents.” Wow! That is a lot of fun! How can you turn your back on so much fun?! Yes, you could simply use a multi-tasking ruler to serve as a straight-edge while you cut the wrapping paper with your scissors but that’s NOT FUN!

Wait! Why stop at just the Gift Wrap Cutter when you can also get the hand-held gift wrap cutter, the enormous tissue paper holder and stand, and the Zibra Universal Package Opener to fill out your scissor-replacement collection?!!

(Thanks go to reader Karen for finding this wonderful holiday-themed unitasker.)

Posted by Erin on Dec 23, 2009 | 25 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Fingertip oven mitts

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The first time I saw hand-only oven mitts, I thought they were a little ridiculous. I prefer to use long oven mitts so that I only need to own one pair (I can wear them while grilling, reaching into a pot of boiling water, or simply removing a pan from the oven), but the hand-only ones at least appear safe.

Let me show you what doesn’t look safe:

That’s right, fingertip oven mitts do not look safe. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they look unsafe. And, all you can do is grab a hot plate with them. You certainly couldn’t use them while grilling, reaching into boiling water, or removing a pan from the oven.

I declare that reader Peg sent us a fantastic unitasker!

Posted by Erin on Dec 16, 2009 | 41 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: USB-powered eyelash curler

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Eyelash curler — Okay, I’ll admit it, I own one.

Heated eyelash curler — I don’t have a need for one, but I can imagine how someone with particularly thick eyelashes might.

Unfortunately, I am baffled as to why anyone would need this USB Heated Eyelash Curler:

Did the people who create this wonder: “Why should I safely curl my eyelashes in front of a mirror when I could do it blindly in front of my laptop with 5V current?!”

Also, if I bought this I would need to buy a USB hub for the bathroom so my husband could simultaneously plug-in his USB electric shaver and his USB toothbrush sanitizer.

Thanks to reader Gladys for bringing yet another USB-powered unitasker to our attention.

Posted by Erin on Dec 9, 2009 | 22 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: USB Pet Rock

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The wonderful people at ThinkGeek.com have brought us what can only be described as THE most amazing unitasker ever found. Not only does it waste energy and use up one of your USB ports, but it also does absolutely nothing! The USB Pet Rock:

This unitasker (or should we say non-tasker?) is pure genius. The best part of it all might even be the catalog text promoting the item:

Simply plug the USB cable into a free port and let the fun begin. The USB Pet Rock will instantly begin to work its magic. People will stop by and ask you what your USB Pet Rock does. Each time, you can make up a new story; for no matter what you say, it will be greater than the truth – because these USB Pet Rocks don’t do a dang thing. Except make you smile. And confuse your friends and coworkers, which will make you smile even more. So, get your USB Pet Rock today, and help make us rich tomorrow.

It actually says that it doesn’t do “a dang thing” and is only to help make the company “rich.” Oh, I am insanely curious to know how many of these ThinkGeek has already sold.

Posted by Erin on Dec 2, 2009 | 34 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Plastic wishbones

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

To get us all into the Thanksgiving spirit (and those of you outside the U.S., feel welcome to laugh along), I present to you synthetic Lucky Break Wishbones in packs of 4, 5, 8, or 10!

Now you don’t have to prepare five turkeys just so all your guests can participate in wishbone-breaking fun! I think we’re all in agreement that gathering together with family and friends, sharing in good conversation, and eating an amazing meal is an unfulfilling experience without the wishbone. With the Lucky Break Wishbones your guests won’t have to worry about how they’re going to get lucky!

Posted by Erin on Nov 25, 2009 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: USB-Powered Hamster Wheel

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The list of unitaskers available for your computer’s USB ports just got a little bit longer thanks to the extremely necessary USB-powered Hamster Wheel:

Now, you can waste away electrical energy by simply plugging in this “pet” to your computer. And, it’s not just a form of entertainment, it makes a political statement by telling your boss that you believe your work is like a hamster in a wheel, going nowhere. Wow, it’s not a unitasker after all!

Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that the Hamster Wheel is currently being sold in the U.S. Those of us in the states will simply have to settle for the AAA battery version. (A version, I might add, that specifically claims it is NOT safe for children.)

Thanks to reader Enestor19 for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

Posted by Erin on Nov 18, 2009 | 18 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The EZ Cracker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Reader Bri had me laughing aloud when I followed her link to this week’s unitasker. Just watch the failed attempts to crack an egg in the advertisement for the EZ Cracker. Seriously, who has this much trouble cracking an egg? And who tries to crack open an egg with a FORK?!

I also love that when you order the EZ Cracker you get not one, but two unitaskers with the bonus Bacon Wave. Truly fantastic.

I have to admit, though, that the EZ Cracker device looks a bit more useful than the last one we featured: The Egg Cracker. However, both devices are still completely useless once you master the simple skill of cracking an egg.

Posted by Erin on Nov 11, 2009 | 49 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: TwitterPeek

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This item was sent to us by many Unclutterer readers, and I specifically liked the humor expressed by those who sent it to us over Twitter. Today’s unitasker is the TwitterPeek:

For $100, you can get this mobile device that ONLY checks Twitter. Sure, you could check Twitter on your smart phone or have it push text messages to your regular cell phone, which you already carry, but why do that when you could buy this additional device? How much fun is only carrying your wallet and phone in your pocket? It’s no fun at all! You want to carry more More MORE stuff around with you!

I also must admit to laughing at the title of the review of the device on PC World, aptly named “TwitterPeek: The Twitter-Only Gadget Destined for Extinction.”

Posted by Erin on Nov 4, 2009 | 16 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: The Egg Cuber

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I think that this week’s unitasker may actually be a non-tasker. Ever since reader Penni sent this Egg Cuber to me, I have tried to imagine why someone would want square eggs — and I have yet to come up with a reason.

Does the oval offend some people? Do square eggs have a longer shelf life? Is it easier to crack a square egg than it is to crack an oval one? Is there a major problem with eggs rolling off counters and trays that I don’t yet know about? why? Why? WHY would anyone want a square egg?!

Also, I think you have to own chickens or at least have access to immediately laid eggs to be able to take advantage of this device. Egg shells are only transformable for a very short time period after being laid. It seems like quite the task to be able to even get these to work.

Please leave your explanations (the more humorous the better) for why someone might need the Egg Cuber in the comments. There must be some reason for such a device beyond the end result just looking cool.

(Image via The Kitchen Store)

Posted by Erin on Oct 28, 2009 | 64 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Chef’n Garlic Zoom

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I want to start with the obvious, and that is the name of this product. Most multi-tasking or high-utility kitchen products have simple names that begin with lowercase letters: skillet, oven, knife, plate. A good sign that something might be a unitasker is when its name is cutesy and trademarked: JerkyXpress, Plater Grater, Nostalgia Cotton Candy Maker. By all accounts, the Chef’n Garlic Zoom is destined for unitasker greatness based on the fact that it includes a random apostrophe and the word zoom:

It looks innocent enough, yes? It’s not very large and wouldn’t clutter up your kitchen too much. And, it probably even works (although the reviews on Amazon aren’t what I would call “glowing”). However, I fail to see how it is better than a KNIFE, which you probably already own. Here’s how you use it:

  1. Peel skin off garlic clove. (Which, I think most people do with a knife.)
  2. Open Chef’n Garlic Zoom and put in your clove of garlic.
  3. Close up the device and roll it along the counter.
  4. Open it.
  5. Remove the center blade.
  6. Use your finger or a small spoon to scoop out the garlic. (Anyone else guessing that getting the garlic out is a bit messy?)

How is this easier than chopping up garlic with a knife? When you use a knife, all you do is peel the garlic and chop it up. You can even rinse off the knife and use it on a carrot! or broccoli! or fish! I almost feel sorry for the little Chef’n Garlic Zoom. Almost. Thanks to reader Gabe for finding us this adorable unitasker.

Posted by Erin on Oct 21, 2009 | 44 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Onion ring holder

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

It is rare that I am at a loss for words, but this week’s unitasker has changed that:

Thank you, reader Kimberly, for introducing me to what may be the most unitaskery unitasker of all time: the onion ring holder.

Posted by Erin on Oct 14, 2009 | 60 Comments | Tweet This

Unitasker Wednesday: Microwave Popcorn Storage Dispenser

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker comes to us from reader Debra. For just $15, you can own the Microwave Popcorn Storage Dispenser and have a container to hold your unpopped bags of popcorn — just like the box the popcorn bags are sold in:

With a footprint of 7.5″ x 6.5″ you can sacrifice a good portion of your kitchen counter space for this quaint device! Sure, when you store your microwave popcorn bags in the box they came in inside your pantry you sacrifice no counter space whatsoever — but we shouldn’t think about that. Ignore the obvious! Buy a Microwave Popcorn Dispenser today!

Posted by Erin on Oct 7, 2009 | 26 Comments | Tweet This