Archives for Children
Teaching toddlers about organizing
Parents often ask me what chores and responsibilities are applicable for toddlers. They want to start teaching their children about putting away their things, but they also don’t want to bestow unreasonable demands upon two, three, and four year olds.
Young children are eager to be independent, and helping your child learn skills that foster this independence as well as acquire valuable organizing concepts are a great place to start the teaching process. The following are a handful of suggestions for responsibilities that are appropriate for toddlers and some recommendations for teaching these skills:
- Hanging up her coat. Put a couple 3M removable utility hooks on the back of the coat closet door at a low enough height that your daughter can reach the hook but high enough so her coat won’t drag on the ground. When your daughter comes inside the house, let her be responsible for putting her coat on her hook.
- Wiping down the bathroom countertop. Get a small step stool for your child to use in the bathroom when he is brushing his teeth, combing his hair, and washing his hands. Have a stack of wash cloths or hand towels within reach that he can use to wipe his face, dry his hands, and then wipe up any spilled and splashed water from the counter top.
- Making her bed each morning. Pulling up the sheet and pulling up the comforter are tasks that most kids can handle by two and a half.
- Putting dirty clothes in the hamper. Have a hamper that your child can easily put clothes into and see the clothes inside the basket. After you assist your child in getting out of his clothes and into his pajamas, hand him his clothes and ask him to put them in the hamper. As your child gets older and can dress himself, simply monitor him to ensure that he continues with this responsibility.
- Setting the table. By age three, most children will be able to set a table with minimum supervision. Place setting placemats are terrific for helping children learn where cups, plates, silverware, and napkins typically go on a table.
- Returning toys to their storage locations. After playing with toys, toddlers should return them to their proper storage bins or shelves. As a result, storage shelves and bins need to be within your child’s reach. Label bins and lips of shelves with adhesive tags that have an illustration and title of what belongs in each space. Programs like Microsoft Word that include clip art are great for finding toy illustrations. It takes younger children significantly more time to pick up toys than older children, so be sure to leave time in your schedule for your child to pick up her toys before needing to move on to another activity.
At age two and three, most of these chores will need some level of supervision. The closer your child gets to elementary school age, however, the less supervision she will need to successfully carry out the task.
Ask Unclutterer: Receiving unwanted gifts
Reader Wendy submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:
What do you do when you come from a culture where gifting is part of etiquette? For example, when my daughter turned one recently, my mother who happened to be visiting from our home country brought back TONS of clothing (whether the right size or not) and toys for my daughter. It was overwhelming. Most of the items are either not usable in the near future, or my daughter has no interest. I don’t have a problem going through and donating or re-gifting, but it takes so much of my time! Should I just talk to my mother although she may get upset? Thanks!
I know it can be frustrating to be bombarded with stuff you don’t need. And, the smaller your space, the larger that frustration can feel. As frustrated as you’re feeling, though, the last thing you should do is tell your mother that she can’t give your daughter gifts.
Showering grandchildren with gifts is one of the joys of being a grandparent. It is clear that your mother is thrilled to have your daughter in her life, and one of the ways she is expressing that is by giving her as many wonderful things as she can. As much as it feels to you like a burden, her generosity is a blessing. Not all kids have grandparents who show interest in them or give gifts or are alive.
Remember that it’s the act of gift giving that is important, not the gift itself. Tell your mother thank you for being so generous with your daughter. Accept the gifts, write her a note of appreciation (have your daughter do this when she learns to write), and then decide what you want to do with the items after your mom has returned home.
Keep the things your daughter wants or that you think she can use in the near future. Donate to charity clothing that won’t ever work for your daughter. Re-gift toys that weren’t a hit with her. If your mother purchased items in the states, see if you can return the unwanted items for ones your daughter can use. It does take time, but not more than a few hours, and it won’t damage your relationship with your mother.
Although you can’t tell your mother what to buy for her granddaughter, you can suggest to her what your daughter needs and wants. Two months before the next gift-giving holiday, let it slip into conversation if your daughter needs or wants specific items like a new bed or new shoes (and what size) or a membership to the local zoo or dance lessons. If she’s computer savvy, create an Amazon wishlist and let her know about it to help her brainstorm gift ideas.
Don’t pressure your mom into buying things your daughter needs or wants. Don’t give her a guilt trip or hint in any way that you have been disappointed with gifts she has given in the past. Just let her know what your daughter could use, and then let it go. Whatever your mother decides to give is up to her, and her act of gift giving should be sincerely appreciated — irrespective of if you keep the gift or not.
As a final note, I want to point out that some of my son’s favorite things are gifts generous friends and family members gave to him that I never would have purchased or thought my son would have loved. Conversely, some things we put on his wishlist that we thought he would love, turned out to be total duds.
Thank you, Wendy, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.
Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.
Sitter information forms
When you leave your home, you may have a babysitter, pet-sitter, or house-sitter watch over your children, pets, or things. Completing an information sheet with important contact and vital data can keep you and the sitter organized and ready for anything.
You can print and fill out these forms exactly as they are, or use them as inspiration for creating your own.
Babysitter:
Pet-sitter:
House-sitter:
2010 Holiday Gift Giving Guide: Organized gifts for kids
We’ve written in previous Gift Giving Guides about giving children experiences, consumables, and “coupons” for spending time together. We still think these are all terrific ideas — especially experiences that include museum or zoo passes, music or dance lessons, and vacations. But, there are also practical gifts for kids that they can unwrap, which help to keep their lives more organized.
- A Cocoon Grid-It Organizer paired with a stylish pencil case and some high-quality Palomino Blackwing pencils.
- Teenagers can learn a great deal from professional organizer Julie Morgenstern in Organizing from the Inside Out for Teenagers.
- An athletic child could use reusable water bottles, a first aid kit, an Ace Bandage, and a durable duffle bag.
- Lovers of the American Girl dolls might like a Doll Storage Trunk. Hot Wheels enthusiasts could appreciate a Car Storage Case. And, comic book readers might like Comic Storage Bags and a Comic Storage Box.
Check out all of the ideas in our 2010 Holiday Gift Giving Guide.
Encouraging young children to clean up their toys
A common topic of discussion among the parents in my son’s playgroup is:
How do we teach our children to put away their toys?
Our children are only one year old, which means we don’t yet have much of a problem, but we’re eager to ensure we don’t have problems later. We want our children to develop life-long skills that help them to be organized and respectful of their things in the future. We might fail miserably — kids have amazing will-power — but here is what we’re trying:
- Model the behavior. It’s tempting, especially with small children around, to wait until after the kids go to bed to pick up the house. However, children should watch and “help” you clean up so they can start to mimic your actions. Otherwise, they’re under the impression that a magical fairy appears and cleans up the toys, coloring books, and wooden spoons.
- Explain the process. As you put away toys and project materials, talk through what you’re doing. “I’m putting the lids on these markers so they won’t dry out and you can use them next time you want to color.” “I’m putting these books on the bookshelf because it’s where they belong when you’re not reading them. The bookshelf protects the books from being damaged so you’ll have them the next time you want to read them.” I should admit that this narration is extremely tedious, but I’ve noticed my son incorporating words into his vocabulary like shelf and cap, so I at least know he’s listening.
- Be positive. Look for ways to make the clean up process as interesting as the play. Put on fun, fast-paced music your child enjoys every time you pick up toys and dance while you work. Make up a cleaning song to sing or play a counting game. Voices shouldn’t be raised and threats shouldn’t be wagered.
- Give your child time. Clean up for young children shouldn’t be rushed. If the child has an hour to play, budget the last 10 minutes of that playtime to picking up the toys. Let your child know that playing with toys involves taking the time to put them away. This is similar to dinner not being finished until the dishes are cleaned, the table is wiped off, and all of the ingredients returned to the pantry or refrigerator. Playtime includes putting away the toys.
- Be consistent. This is the hardest part of the teaching process for me — making sure I always leave time for picking up toys. If we’re in a rush to get out the door to run an errand, it’s difficult to pause and make sure the toy is returned to it’s storage place before we leave the house. The consistency and repetitive action, however, are what instill the positive behavior. If a child doesn’t know there is the option to leave his toys strewn about the room, he won’t make that decision. (Well, at least in theory.)
Versions of this can be used with older children. When I was teaching high school, I’d let the students know when they had three minutes left in the period so they could gather up their materials and be ready to leave when the bell sounded. When the students were working in groups, I’d have them race to see which group could clean up their workstation the quickest. I’d award imaginary points to students when they found something of mine left in the classroom: “5,000 points to Gryffindor!” But, I never gave real rewards (no points, no gold stars, no treats), since I believe that cleaning up is a sign of respecting materials the school provided and an expected behavior of all the students.
What techniques have you used with your children or students to encourage them to pick up their toys? Share your tips in the comments.
Sleek and streamlined diaper bags
Diaper bags — like purses and wallets — can be magnets for clutter. I speak from personal experience when I say that things go into them and rarely, if ever, come out. The smaller the bag, usually the easier it is to keep it clutter free and stuffed only with essentials.
I’m quite fond of the Pronto! Changing Station because it comes in fun, modern prints and it has a wrist strap for easy portability:
Small bags like this also can be slid into a larger bag, if you need food or blankets for a longer trip.
Fisher-Price makes a very similar product for about half the price, but without the wristlet and it is adorned with cartoon animals:
Both options are great for reducing the bulk and the clutter that plagues so many traditional diaper bags on the market.
Simple strategies for marking items
After Saturday’s simple tape suggestion, PJ and I have been talking about our favorite tricks for marking items. Here are a handful more tips for identifying items in your home and workspace:
- Separate new and used sponges by cutting off corners — straight from the package is good for dishes, one corner missing is good for counters and the table, two corners off and it’s perfect for cleaning spills off the floor.
- Reader CatServant recommended in the comments section to Saturday’s post something similar to the sponge method, but for other cleaning supplies: “I put a band of duct tape around the handle of any cleaning object that has been ‘demoted’ to ickier jobs: old toothbrushes now used to scrub the bathroom, old dish brushes now used for scrubbing out plant containers, etc.”
- After folding the top and bottom bed sheet and one of the pillow cases, many people will then use the second pillow case as a sack to hold the other three pieces. It makes storage simple, and it’s easy to grab the sack from the linen closet when it’s time to make the bed.
- We continue to love Alex’s suggestion of putting removable dots on small kitchen appliances to track which items you use over a six month period, and which ones you don’t. Label all small appliances and then only remove the dots when you use an item. At the end of six months, take to charity any appliance that still has a dot on it.
- Reader DG e-mailed recently to suggest using strips of blue painter’s tape to label fabric items. Great for labeling sets of sheets so everyone knows which set works with which bed, great for putting reminders on backpacks, and great for marking clothes to identify which ones you haven’t worn (like the kitchen dot suggestion). Since the painter’s tape can be pulled off the item, stuck to the lip of a shelf, and reused for many months, it’s an extremely low-cost marking system. One roll of tape can last for many years.
- If neighbors, co-workers, and/or friends have a tendency to borrow tools and not return them, scratch your initials into the metal with the tip of a screwdriver.
- Large families often benefit by using colors for each child — a simple dot on an item’s label made with a brightly colored Sharpie instantly says whose item is whose. Older children should be lighter colors (yellow, orange) so if an item is passed down to a younger child, the dot can easily be colored over with the next child’s color (red, blue).
What simple marking strategies do you use in your home? Share your marking methods in the comments.
Multifunctional children’s furniture
Now that my son has outgrown his Jumperoo, my husband and I have been on the lookout for a child-size chair. Like most toddlers, my 15-month-old son is insistent upon asserting his independence, and so he wants his own chair. If you try to sit on the same chair or couch he’s on, he’ll go to great lengths to get you to sit somewhere other than his piece of furniture.
We considered getting the Kapsule Chair because it is cute, inexpensive ($49), and doubles as toy storage. Ultimately, we didn’t buy it because when our son outgrows it in a couple years, the chair becomes another thing cluttering up the house.
In the end, we decided to get the Candu Chair, which can also be transformed into a playtable/desk, bedside table, easel, step stool, rocking chair, and magazine/book rack:
It’s 21″ x 18″ x 18″ and weighs 16 lbs. It’s certainly more expensive than the Kapsule — the Candu Chair is $125 on Amazon — but it’s a piece that should have utility for at least the next 17 years. For families like ours that live in small spaces, the more multi-functional the furniture, the better.
Getting your child out the door in the morning, on time
If you have school-age children, you’re well aware that some mornings can be difficult. Even highly organized children have a few mornings each month where there is a melt down and things fall apart.
Here are a few tips to help get your children (and you) out the door on time:
Is your child getting enough sleep? When children go through growth spurts, they often need more sleep than at other times. If their courses are more difficult this year than in the past, they might need more sleep to mentally process all that they’re learning. Talk with your child’s pediatrician to determine what is the best amount of sleep for your child.
Are parents ready before children? It’s easier to help your child in the morning if you’re already up and prepared for your day. The younger the child, the more important this is.
Have you planned for 15 extra minutes? No matter the day, you should always plan an extra 15 minutes into your morning schedule. Don’t have a super tight schedule, because if things go wrong your child will be late for school. When an emergency arises, it’s wonderful to have the additional time.
Are materials set the night before? Clothes, packed backpack, extra curricular sports or dance bag, lunch (in the refrigerator, but ready to go), and whatever materials your child needs for the next day should be prepared before your child goes to bed.
Do you have an “out-the-door” checklist? All children (and even adults) can benefit from a checklist for what to remember in the mornings. I recommend typing up the checklist and laminating it. Then, let your child use a dry erase marker or a wax pencil to check items off the list before heading out the door. You can also add special items to the list (Don’t forget your signed grade card!) when there are daily items your child needs to remember. Older children might not need to physically check items off the list, but they should stop and review it mentally.
Do you scream or sing in the morning? The Happiness Project author Gretchen Rubin recommends in “Tips for being a more light-hearted parent” to “Sing in the morning. It’s hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy mood, and it sets a happy tone for everyone—particularly in my case, because I’m tone deaf and my audience finds my singing a source of great hilarity.” Keeping a light-hearted mood can help inspire your kids to also have positive outlooks — which can help set the morning tone.
Is everything okay at school? If you’ve tried every piece of advice for getting your child out the door on time and still can’t do it, you might want to talk to your child’s teacher or a trusted person at your child’s school. There might be a bigger issue you need to investigate (abuse, bullying, isolation, etc.).
Check out Unclutterer’s “Don’t forget your materials” and the comments to the post for additional tips and tricks. Good luck!
Simplifying packed lunches
Reader Jon wrote to us asking if we had any tips for preparing lunches at home that he can take to eat at work. He has been spending $100 a week on eating out at restaurants, and is hoping to become someone who brings his lunches to work. Since students are already back in the classroom in many states, and other students are getting ready to go, I thought now would be a great time to discuss the humble brown bag lunch.
Storage Materials:
You don’t need anything fancy, but I recommend items that are at least reusable (especially if you want to save money). You can use Lunch Skins for dry items, Rubbermaid’s plastic Easy-Find Lid containers (they’re BPA free) for foods that could spill or leak, New Wave’s Stainless Steel food containers, or Kinetic’s Glass Lock containers. You might want a thermos to hold a drink, and you’ll want a tote or box to contain it all. I’m a huge fan of bento jars and boxes, and if I carried my lunch to work, I would strongly consider getting the Zojirushi Bento Lunch Jar (the inserts are also BPA free):
Food and Preparation:
Taking your lunch to work or school doesn’t mean you have to eat peanut butter and jelly every day. The best tip I have about making lunches is to prepare them while you’re making dinner the previous night. For example, if you’re grilling hamburgers for dinner, pull aside half a cup of hamburger to cook and season for taco meat. A couple tortillas, cheese, and the meat make a great entree the next day at lunch that keeps your attention and isn’t exactly what you had for dinner.
Making both dinner and lunch increases your time in the kitchen a little, but the money you save is definitely worth it. Plus, you only have to clean the kitchen once, and you’re more likely to pack healthier lunches than you would buy if you ate out at a restaurant. If you’re making lunches for kids, enlist them to help you pack up their meals.
I wish I knew of a great cookbook to recommend for lunch ideas, but I’m completely clueless in this area. Hopefully there will be some recommendations in the comments for ways to find even more exciting meal ideas. Also, if you’re someone who brings his lunch to work every day or makes lunches for your children, add helpful tips you’ve picked up along the way to the comments. Good luck to Jon and to all parents embarking on a school-year full of lunch making.
Ask Unclutterer: Trash or treasure old stuffed animals?
Reader Kay submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:
I’m trying to figure out what to do about all my old plush toys stored in *mumble mumble* cardboard boxes in the *mumble mumble* basement. I know the Unclutterer idea of taking pictures of sentimental objects before taking the next step; what I don’t know is what the next step should *be*. I doubt that Goodwill wants them; I don’t want to pass them on to young relatives — I’m not convinced they’re still healthy. Is there another option I’m overlooking?
You can have them steam cleaned, which will kill viruses, mold, dust mites, and other creepy crawlies. If you know someone who works in a hotel, the enormous steamers they have there will definitely do the trick. Otherwise, check with your local dry cleaners, who may have one in their facilities. They’re giant machines, a lot like dryers, that blast the contents with heated steam while tumbling things around to make sure all surfaces are affected.
Once this is done, you could pass them along to your young relatives without worry.
However, if these are elderly stuffed animals, they may not survive the cleaning process. For the more delicate ones, the trash may be your best option.
Actually, unless your young relatives are clamoring to take the stuffed animals off your hands, I suggest throwing all of them in the trash. Even though you once loved them, there is no guarantee your nieces and nephews will enjoy playing with a worn-out toy. So instead of dealing with your clutter, you’ll just be passing the responsibility of getting rid of it along to someone else.
Peter Walsh, in his book It’s All Too Much, makes a point about donating worn-out clothing to charity that applies equally to your stuffed-animal situation:
Goodwill receives a billion pounds of clothing every year. Ultimately, they use less than half of the clothes they get. Clothing is cheap, and the cost of sorting, cleaning, storing, and transporting the clothes is higher than their value. If you wouldn’t give an article to a family member, it’s probably not good enough for charity. Sure, it’s great to get the tax deduction and it makes you feel like you didn’t waste money buying the clothes, but if you’re truly charitable, be sensitive to the needs of the organization. Charities aren’t dumping grounds for your trash.
If throwing them in the trash brings you to tears, contact a local professional puppet group. Maybe they could reuse the pelts? However, I think this is one of those situations where these items belong in the trash.
Thank you, Kay, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.
Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.
The multitasking sleeper chair
The latest DWR catalog arrived in the mail yesterday, and the Soto sleeper chair instantly caught my attention:
After looking at the picture, I spotted the chair’s $3,300 price tag and quickly closed the catalog. No offense to the designers or the wonderful folks at DWR (it really is an attractive piece of furniture), but $3,300 is way above my price range.
Sleeper chairs are fantastic additions in small spaces because they work double duty as seating and guest accommodations. One of these multitaskers in a living room or office is perfect when you don’t have a guest room or space for a larger sofa sleeper. My husband and I have been considering getting one for my son’s bedroom so that when his cousins or friends spend the night they won’t have to sleep on the floor, and he’ll have a comfortable space to sit and read the rest of the time.
A little more in line with our price range are:
For $130, Target has a single sleeper:
For $20 more ($150), Target has a sleeper lounge chair:
JCPenny has the Sleepy sleeper chair for $500 that is available in nine different upholstery options:
And, for $1,000, is the sleek Vincent twin sleeper from CB2:
You don’t have to spend $3,300 or add a spare room onto your home to increase the number of sleeping accommodations you have to offer guests — a sleeper chair might be all you need for your small space.
Uncluttered baby: The EZ Bundle
This is an item I really wish would have existed a year ago when we were outfitting our home with baby gear:
The EZ Bundle 4-in-1 Baby System from Fisher-Price is an infant swing, high chair, newborn seat, and toddler seat all in one unit. You don’t need to buy four different items, just the one that transforms into the four different uses. Brilliant. And the suggested retail price is only $150.00 — which is less than many individual swings.
Ask Unclutterer: Encouraging kids to help out at home
Reader Sonja submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:
How do you get your family to want to help with a cluttered house? I have four children.
Unfortunately, Sonja, I have some bad news. If your family doesn’t want to help unclutter your home, there aren’t any methods to make them want to help. Fortunately, though, you’re the mom and there are numerous strategies you can implement so they will help you — regardless of if they want an uncluttered home.
The first thing to remember is that children are led by example. If you’re cheerful, excited, and energetic about getting the clutter out of your house, they’ll see this enthusiasm. On the flip side, if you complain, whine, and drag your feet, your children will see and mirror this negative attitude. Maintain an eager and positive attitude, and they’re more likely to get on board with your efforts.
Be explicit about what you want completed, when, how to do the activity, and why. A chore chart (like one that was discussed on Wednesday) helps children to know exactly what actions you expect of them. Telling your kids to “pick up the family room” is vague, they need specific directions such as “return your shoes to the shoe bin in your closet, bring all dirty plates to the kitchen and load them into the dishwasher.” Additionally, let them know how long a task should usually take and when you would like for it to be done (take out kitchen trash, 3 minutes, immediately after dinner). A training session might also be in order to demonstrate exactly how you want an activity to be completed (don’t be condescending, just give them good directions). Even with a demonstration, younger children might also need to be supervised when they do tasks. Finally, be direct about why you want them to help with the uncluttering efforts. “Because I said so,” is not a reason that will motivate your children to help you, but explaining to them the life you want to lead can make an impression — “I want us to spend less time on chores and work around the house so we can spend more time having fun together as a family.” Have a conversation with them and let them share their opinions on how they want the house to look and how they want their home life to function.
Next, take some time to think about what it is that made you happy as a kid and what makes your kids happy now. If your children love games and puzzles, create an incentive structure based on these activities. For each five minutes of uncluttering completed, let them choose a letter on a game of hangman. If your kids are older, do a minute-for-minute video game tradeoff — 15 minutes of uncluttering becomes 15 minutes extra of video game playing later (or reading or bike riding or staying up late on a weekend). Kids can earn allowances with bonus dollars if they don’t have to be reminded to do their uncluttering tasks. They could bank time toward a slumber party or a trip to their favorite park. Put incentives in place that they really want and that you think are deserved for their efforts.
Also, make the uncluttering process fun — play upbeat music while everyone works, have snacks available, tell goofy jokes, and dance while you work. Race to see who can fold their stack of laundry the fastest or find all the toys in the house they haven’t played with in months and can be donated to charity. Work together and enjoy your time uncluttering as a family.
When your children help you with uncluttering efforts, be sure to thank them for their work and acknowledge that you appreciate their contribution to keeping the family home running smoothly. Consider handing out silly awards (King of Loading the Washing Machine!). It feels good to receive praise, no matter what age you are.
Finally, listen to what your kids are saying throughout this process. They might want different incentives than what you’ve put in place, so be flexible and willing to change. Your children might figure out a better way for them to complete tasks, so let them take the lead. If you really want your children to help you unclutter, respect what they have to lend to the project. Most importantly, don’t nag — nagging is a sign of disrespect — but feel welcome to pass along a gentle reminder at different points during the day: “After school today, you’ll have trumpet lessons, probably an hour of homework, 30 minutes of helping around the house, dinner, and then it’s family movie night. What movie did you decide we should watch?”
Thank you, Sonja, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Good luck getting your children to help out with uncluttering efforts in your home. It might take a few months to master their involvement, but with guidance you’ll help your children establish good habits that will stay with them into adulthood.
Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.
Musings on children’s birthday parties
Next week is my son’s first birthday. To celebrate this event, I’m making him a Dinosaur Train cake and some homemade orange popsicle flavored ice cream, both treats my husband and I plan to consume in significantly larger quantities than what my son will. (He’ll likely wear a good portion of his servings.) We’re not having a traditional party, but we’ll video chat with grandparents and cousins when he opens (rather, when we open) the gifts they generously sent to him. We might go to a park or the zoo if the weather is nice.
My expectation is that his second birthday celebration will be similar to this and he won’t start having parties with friends until he’s at least three, four, or five years old — whenever he requests a more standard party. Until then, we’re keeping things as low key as possible.
Before I became a mom, I never understood the lavish parties parents in my area throw for their kids. I’ve heard of some events that easily cost parents thousands of dollars, and guests to the party end up leaving with bags of goodies more valuable than the toys they brought for the guest of honor. I know I won’t ever throw a party like this for my son (sorry, kiddo!), but I’m at least starting to understand why parents do.
As a parent, you want the world for your kid. You want your child to be liked by his classmates, you want your child to be happy, and you want to celebrate his life. A basic swimming party with hamburgers can easily cost a hundred dollars — spending 10 times more once a year on a birthday party wouldn’t seem like such a big deal, especially if you’ve got the disposable income to do it. Research even shows that experiences make you happier than physical possessions.
My parenting philosophy and budget don’t include renting elephants, night clubs, and cruise ships for my son and 100 of his acquaintances, though. I’m more interested in teaching him to appreciate adventures than extravagance. I want him to respect people more than glamor and glitz. And, I hope he learns that the things that matter most in life don’t usually come wrapped in shiny paper with bows.
I don’t judge the parents who go all out for their child’s birthdays — for all I know, they’re teaching their children the same values I’m hoping to teach mine, just with the addition of a really great party once a year. A simple party is what works for our family, however, and I hope my son won’t be an outcast or disappointed by our decision when he’s old enough to know what a party is. If we stay in this area of the country, his birthday might regularly fall on the last day of school, which he might even see as party enough.
