Ask Unclutterer | Unclutterer

Archives for Ask Unclutterer

Ask Unclutterer: How do you move past a fear of regret when purging clutter?

Reader Oh My (I’m thinking that’s not a real name) submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I believe that the biggest obstacle to decluttering my life is the fear of regret. I have so much junk that I’m afraid to get rid of because I think it will be useful or valuable, and I am sure that once it’s gone I will immediately think of a use for it, or — in the case of collectible items that can be resold — discover I could have gotten more money out of it if I’d sold it someplace else. (As I’m between jobs right now, any loss of potential income really bothers me.)

My question is, how do I deal with regret? Most people seem able to accept that what’s done is done and move on with their lives, but mistakes I’ve made in the past haunt me for years and I don’t know how to get over them. Do you have any advice?

The best advice I’ve been given about regret is to ask myself the following questions before getting rid of an item:

What is the worst that can happen?
How would I behave if I were not afraid?
Would I buy it again if my home burned down?

The first question allows you to play through every possible horrible scenario. Nine times out of 10, the worst that can happen isn’t actually horrible. A common response is that you might have to borrow a similar item from a friend, which is a little inconvenient but not horrible. Obviously, if your life might be at risk if you got rid of something (like heart medication or a cane that helps you walk), don’t get rid of that item.

The second question gets you thinking about how you will respond to even the horrible scenarios. You can figure out how you would deal with these events if you weren’t afraid of regret or making a mistake. Once you know how Fearless You would behave, Fearful You can feel comfortable behaving in the same way.

The third question keeps your perspective in check. If you wouldn’t pay money for the item now, you likely wouldn’t regret getting rid of something. However, if you would spend money to repurchase the handmade quilt your grandmother made you, it’s probably best not to get rid of that quilt. I’d certainly pay money to repurchase my laptop, so it’s not something I would purge. However, I wouldn’t buy an empty yogurt tub if it didn’t have yogurt in it, so into the recycling bin that yogurt tub will go when I’m finished eating the yogurt in it.

Once you know the answers to these questions, you can feel comfortable getting rid of an item if that is the right course of action for that item.

A good rule of thumb is to take care of the things that matter to you (the possessions that you’re using and/or that you treasure, like that handmade quilt) and to get rid of the things that don’t matter to you. Owning things require space for storage, as well as money and time to maintain and manage those items. The fewer things you own, the fewer things you have to clean and store and keep track of and worry about protecting.

If these three questions aren’t helpful for you and fear continues to paralyze you from taking action, I recommend talking with a licensed medical professional about your anxiety. Getting rid of clutter should feel liberating, not debilitating, and a psychologist can help you if there is more going on than just dealing with your stuff.

Thank you, Oh My, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more advice from our readers.

Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.

Posted by Erin on Jul 29, 2011 | 41 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Preparing for a major life change

Reader Sarah submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My husband and I are hoping to adopt a newborn. We could therefore be in a position of bringing home a newborn with very short notice. On the other hand, we could be waiting years. Some people I’ve talked to in a support group have said that they set up full nurseries, but that doesn’t feel right to us. We want to be prepared, but we don’t want to keep a lot of baby stuff to make us sad that we’re still waiting. Do you have any advice for figuring out and balancing what baby stuff we should get in order to avoid panic if we get the call, but without having stuff around that would end up as physical and emotional clutter until the baby comes? Thanks.

Initially, this question might seem like its answer will only apply to people in your very specific situation. This is not the case. When anticipating any life change, we all go through something similar. We want to look forward to the event (graduating college, starting a new job, having a biological child, getting married), but we also don’t want to be consumed by it. We don’t want the “one day” stuff to clutter up the present, but we also want to be properly prepared.

When we were in your exact situation, we did not set up the nursery. Even after we were notified we had been chosen and we had his delivery date on the calendar, we did not set up the nursery. It wasn’t until after we brought our son home that his nursery was assembled.

For one of our many state-mandated house visits for our home study, we had to show we had a place for our son to sleep and basic supplies for him. We showed our social worker what we had purchased, and all of it was being stored at the back of our bedroom closet. We had a Pack ‘N Play with a bassinet attachment (still in the box), a set of sheets for the Pack ‘N Play (we washed them and had them stored in a shoe box), a stroller (also in its box), a baby carrier a friend loaned us, a six pack of BPA-free bottles (still in plastic), and a diaper bag (but no diapers or wipes). That is all. State law required we buy the car seat within 24 hours of picking up our son, the box had to be unopened, and the receipt had to be taped to the box. So, obviously, we didn’t have a car seat, though we would have had one if the state would have allowed us to. Since we didn’t know at the time if our child would be a boy or a girl, how large the child would be, or if he/she had any dietary restrictions or allergies, we didn’t have clothes, diapers, or formula.

When we picked up our son, he actually came with some clothes, diapers, wipes, and formula. He also had a blanket, a stuffed animal, a quilted book, and a photo album. As we were walking to the car, my husband remarked that he was unaware children came with so much stuff. Even people who have biological children will comment that they didn’t realize they would be leaving the hospital with so many things in addition to their kid, but everyone does. Manufacturers of all-things baby and different charities give tons of stuff to hospitals every year that are passed along to new parents.

We have no regrets about not setting up a nursery. That being said, if there comes a point when you really want to make up the nursery, go for it. There isn’t a right or wrong way. You do what is best for you. It took us two and a half years from when we started the adoption process to when our son was home, and I can’t imagine walking past a decorated room that entire time. (People who have biological children don’t typically set up a nursery before they’re pregnant, so I don’t think our decision was all that odd.) For other adopting parents, though, a decorated room is a source of hope and excitement. It’s what works for them, and that is great for them. You do whatever you have to do to keep your sanity through the waiting period.

I offer the same advice to anyone eagerly anticipating a life change — do what is best for YOU and helps YOU to keep your sanity while you wait. If the stuff associated with the big change is a distraction (as it was to us), keep it out of the way or don’t have it at all. There will always be a way to get it when you need it. Besides, if your adoption ends up being from out-of-state, you’ll have to spend at least two weeks in that state before being able to travel home. You can always order everything you’ll need while you’re hanging out in the hotel (best yet, get a room in an extended-stay hotel, you’ll want the dishwasher and refrigerator) and all of the nursery stuff will be delivered by the time you get home.

If you feel like you should do something while you wait, I recommend reading books on parenting and child development. Ask your friends and family members with children what authors they like, and read those works. I’m a fan of the Love and Logic series, the Healthy Sleep Habits books, and Laura Berk’s child development texts. You won’t have much time to read once the little one arrives, so check out the books now. Plus, reading a bunch of different books on parenting styles will give you an idea of what type of parent you want to be. Another thing you can do while you wait is interview pediatricians in your area. We did this and it was nice to be able to sit and talk with the doctors about their styles of treatment without the pressure of “we need a doctor right now” hanging over us. The first time we took our son to the doctor, we already felt comfortable with his doctor and knew all about her experiences working with adopted children.

Thank you, Sarah, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope I helped you in some way, and good luck to you and your husband on your adoption.

Posted by Erin on Jul 15, 2011 | 45 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Not displaying family photographs

Reader Mary submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My parents divorced when I was quite young, and little evidence of their past relationship remains in our lives. Being the most sentimental of the three kids, I am in possession what is, to my knowledge, the only remaining wedding photograph, a framed 8×10 that has been sitting at the back of my closet for years.

I am now in the process of permanently cleaning my possessions out of my childhood home, and I feel like it would be weird to display this framed photograph in my new home, since I am basically the only person left on the planet who feels sentimental about this long-since-ended marriage.

In addition, I live with a partner who does not have the same sense of sentimentality as I do, who does not tend to favor displaying family photographs in the home (an uncluttered philosophy I generally support), and who in fact has never met one of the parents in the picture.

Do you have any suggestions for what to do with this framed photograph that nobody but me wants to look at, but I could definitely not get rid of? I suppose I could digitize it, but then what? I don’t know if I could bring myself to throw out the original. One more consideration is that it’s not a very high-quality photograph, so it wouldn’t even really be that attractive to display–its value is purely (but extremely) sentimental.

I’d start by removing the image from the frame and having it digitally scanned. I wouldn’t have it scanned for the purpose of getting rid of the original, but rather so you have a copy of it in case your home is ever destroyed in a disaster (fire, flood, tornado, etc.). Upload the file to a secure and private online account (like you can do with Flickr), so if you ever need to make a copy you can easily do it.

As far as the original is concerned, I’m greatly in favor of keeping it. Being an unclutterer doesn’t mean your home has to be void of any personal or sentimental objects, it just means you’ve chosen not to let these items overwhelm your space and distract you from pursuing the life of your dreams. One photograph of your parents’ wedding day is unlikely a distraction.

The frame seems to be a little bulky, though, and unnecessary if you don’t want to hang the image on your wall. (Heck, even if your parents were still together, I doubt you’d be hanging up their wedding portrait.) I recommend heading to your local camera store and talking with an employee about all of your image preservation options.

For the print photographs I have decided to keep (in addition to their digital backups), I have them stored in an archival quality, acid-free, photo storage box. Also, because I’m a believer that if I’m going to keep something I’m going to care for it as best as I possibly can, I got a pair of darkroom photography gloves to handle the images. The employee at your local camera store might have more options, so definitely find out what she suggests, too.

Thank you, Mary, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Jul 8, 2011 | 35 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Prioritizing family, education, and career

Reader Viktoria submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My question has to do with the fact that my top priority (my husband and son) fight over me with my top necessity (finishing my dissertation [by December]). I believe this is a situation that most of us go through at some point of our lives, but we have run out of solutions, and still, it is not working out.

So this is the situation: my husband is at work most of the day, and I am at home with our 10-month old son. My husband arrives home just in time to walk the dogs, to give the baby a bath to have at least SOME time with him, and to help to put him to sleep. And then, when we could finally have some time together, there is my unfinished dissertation … This is where the dilemma sets in: I either try to have a decent quality time with my man and feel guilty for not writing, or — vice versa, writing and feeling very sorry for not being able to spend the little time we have together.

I tried to work when the baby sleeps during the day, but was very tired and then realized it is much wiser to catch up on my own sleep. In my effort to deal with this, I have given up on ironing, anything that is not on the super-priority list … and yet, my life is just a mixture of frustration, fatigue and occasional passing moments of victory when my mom comes over and babysits for two or three hours, or during weekends, when my two men have a couple of hours together. They both enjoy it, but toward the end of such a day our little one is definitely in need of me and no one else.

And as such, would you be willing to give us some of your insights on how to prioritize what is already prioritized, but not handled?

I’m usually fairly confident in the advice I give in this column. Today … not so much. Viktoria, it’s probably best if you take the following advice as merely one suggestion of many that you should consider. It is far from being law. This is simply what I would do (and have done) in a very similar situation.

The first thing you need to do is identify what you are going to do with your dissertation when you earn it. Are you going to go into academia or the corporate world and use it? If so, when are you going to start networking and going to conferences and doing all that you need to do to get into the job market? You’ll have to work just as hard to get a job (resume writing, interviewing, research, etc.) as you did on your dissertation — the job of your dreams isn’t going to land in your lap the second you defend your dissertation. You should be working now with your adviser to schedule when you will officially go into the job market so that you don’t finish your dissertation too late or too early for the hiring period associated with your concentration. If you don’t have plans to go into the job market in the next 12 months, why are you worried about your dissertation now?

If you plan to stay home with your child until he goes off to school, get permission to delay your dissertation until the time around when you will go onto the job market. Simply put, you will not be able to finish your dissertation while being the primary care giver for your child and living a life with your family as your top priority. I’m speaking from experience here, it’s unbearably stressful. I’ve had to delay my second book until my son started preschool because it’s impossible to focus on anything other than him when I’m the one caring for him. The second your son starts walking and running around your house, and when your son moves down to just one nap a day, you’ll have even less time to focus on your dissertation than you do now. Why make your life a living ball of stress if you don’t have to? Focus your attention instead on the little bundle of joy who will only be a baby/toddler/little boy once and your husband when you’re together.

If you don’t plan to stay home with your son until he starts school, the only way to finish your dissertation now is to hire a nanny to care for your son while your husband is at work. You are not a superwoman. There are only 24 hours in a day and you only have so much energy and attention to give. Bring in someone to watch your child while you work. (And, yes, writing a dissertation IS work.) If you were off working in an office and your husband were home working on his dissertation, would anyone question him getting a nanny for your son? No. And no one will question you doing it. So, if you want to go through with the dissertation right now, your son needs a nanny.

I’ll also ask the question … do you ever plan to use your dissertation? If the answer is no, strongly consider resigning from the program. Accept your Everything But Dissertation and be on your way. My mom did exactly that and was able to determine that she ended up making more money over the course of her career as a result. I also stopped after my master’s degree because I realized getting my doctorate wouldn’t improve my salary or my chances of success. However, I wasn’t going into academia, I was going into writing … which doesn’t even require a high school diploma … so even the master’s degree is complete overkill … which means take what I just said with a giant grain of salt (or even a mound of giant grains of salt).

Again, this is not law, but this is how I see things. You have three choices — delay the dissertation for a few years until you’re ready to go on the job market and can devote your full attention to it, get a nanny and finish the dissertation by December, or stop pursuing your dissertation completely if it won’t help your career. I hope I helped, but mostly I just hope I didn’t muddle the waters even more.

Thank you, Viktoria, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for more suggestions. If all goes well, one of us might have the perfect answer for you.

Posted by Erin on Jul 1, 2011 | 60 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How can I disguise workout equipment?

Reader Cindi submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My question for the day is how do people incorporate the big exercise equipment into their homes? I am thinking of a treadmill. I have thought of getting some decorative screens and walling it off when not is use. It is currently in the family room, which has multiple personalities — home office, tv room, and gym. I’d love to know your thoughts and ideas, as well as other reader’s suggestions.

I must admit, I am truly stumped by what to do with exercise equipment in the absence of a dedicated workout room. Treadmills are so difficult to incorporate into a room that serves other purposes.

Screens scream, “THERE IS A TREADMILL BEHIND HERE!” In bedrooms, treadmills become dirty clothes hampers. And, in television rooms they’re always in the way.

If you didn’t already own a treadmill (and you had a lot of money), I’d suggest you check out the XFit. It’s a workout room in an armoire. A brilliant idea that I wish weren’t so expensive.

This is one of those times when I think it best to let our readers give you the advice. Someone has to have a solution. (Please, someone have a solution!) I have always been at a loss for what to suggest for disguising workout equipment. So readers, please give Cindi a hand and offer up your suggestions in the comments. I’ll also be reading to see what everyone has to say because I need the advice as much as Cindi.

Thank you, Cindi, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. And, sincerely, I hope someone has better advice for you than I do on this topic.

Posted by Erin on Jun 24, 2011 | 52 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Help! My boyfriend moved in and now his stuff is everywhere!

Reader J submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for two decades and he moved in for good a few weeks ago. I’ve lived comfortably, and in fairly organized fashion, in 1000 square feet for years and years, and now his stuff is EVERYWHERE. I read over ALL of your articles on merging households, working with partners, gauging levels of clutter control, etc., but we both seem stuck in a tower of terrifying stacked boxes so completely overwhelming that even getting to the kitchen is problematic.

Due to outside demands–we both work full-time, and we both have families in need–we’ve only been able to give a couple of hours per day to this albatross of a project, and it devolved into him suggesting I just throw out a bunch of my stuff. I don’t want “his” and “mine” to dominate the conversation, but, honestly, where do we start? Clothing is everywhere, the closets are full, and he has four thousand CDs, five bass guitars, three computers … you get the idea.

Where would you start, short of calling A&E and volunteering to be on Hoarders? We just need a workable starting point and we both realize that Molly Maids can’t solve our organizational problems.

Thanks if you can answer this; if not, I’m calling in for outside reinforcements!!! Be well, and keep writing–I love this website.

For starters, thank you for loving this website. It’s really nice to hear.

From the way you describe it, I see three steps that will immediately help to reduce your stress:

Have a date night. Between your home stress, your family stress, and your job stress, the two of you need a night of relaxation. Make a reservation at your favorite place, put on some fancy clothes, and go out on the town with each other. Don’t talk about the apartment or any of the things that are causing you frustration. Just breathe and be reminded of why you love each other and are joining your lives and your stuff.
Call a professional organizer. The two of you are bright people who could work this out on your own — but you don’t need to. Hire an organizer to meet with you for a few hours on a Saturday morning to give you some suggestions for merging your stuff. Having an independent third party to give guidance is almost always a good idea, and organizers do this type of consulting all the time. If you were sick, you’d go to a doctor, so why not seek the help of a professional organizer when you could really use one? Check out the National Association of Professional Organizers or Angie’s List to find a well-respected professional organizer near you.
Start with your biggest frustration. Walk through your apartment with your boyfriend, don’t have a conversation, just let your eyes get a real look at the situation. Once you’ve gone through every room, examined every cabinet, and inspected under the bed, sit down and talk with each other about what one thing bugged you the most. Was it that your clothes are no longer in the closet? Was it that you can’t sit down at the dining table? Was it the giant stack of boxes right by the front door? Let him voice his biggest frustration, too. Those two areas need to be handled first, before any other projects in the apartment. Work together to find a lasting solution, try to keep from yelling (touching each other in a caring way repeatedly on the arm or hand while you’re working can help keep your tone and volume in check), and commit to getting just those two areas in order. Once they’re in order, your stress level will greatly improve, making the remainder of the work in front of you more manageable.

Right now, you probably feel like he’s trying to cram his stuff into your apartment. He probably feels like you’re not making room for him in your apartment. It’s a tough situation, and that is why I think a night out to relax and remember why you’re moving in together is so important. Heck, take many nights out on the town to remember why you’re together if you have to! Your relationship and your feelings for each other are far more important than battles over CDs, clothes, and computers.

Thank you, J, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I have faith that you’ll get through this without any long-term repercussions.

Posted by Erin on Jun 17, 2011 | 27 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Gift bag storage

Reader J submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

We just purchased our first home and we are in the process of organizing everything. One thing that I have no idea how to handle is my large collection of gift bags, gift boxes, ribbons, bows, etc. I had them shoved into plastic bins at the bottom of our guest room closet at the old house, but the bags stick out everywhere, and items jump out of the boxes every time I try to retrieve something, and generally make the entire process of gift wrapping a pain. I need to get to these bags a few times a year for birthdays and holidays.

One of the more creative solutions I’ve seen is a dedicated filing cabinet drawer for storing wrapping supplies. Gift bags were kept upright, like file folders, and so were the flat gift boxes. Spools of ribbon were threaded through a bar that had been cut out of a hanging file folder, and were suspended across the drawer. Bows were stored in a few hanging file pockets, organized by type. Finally, magnetic strips had been attached to the backs of a pair of scissors and a tape dispenser, and these items were suspended from the side of the file drawer. Until the drawer was opened, I had no idea what was contained inside of it.

There are also storage totes made especially for gift bags and boxes. Once you move the bags and boxes into their new storage solution, it might be easier to contain the remaining bows and ribbons in the bins you already have.

You could also hang all the gift bags by their handles from an open ended pants hanger. The bags would take up some space in a closet, but this solution would again free up room in your current storage bins so you could better organize the other items.

Thank you, J, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Definitely check the comments for additional ideas from our readers. My hope is that one of us will be able to find you a perfect solution.

Posted by Erin on Jun 10, 2011 | 34 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Organizing and operating a central supply room

Reader Brenda submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

[I'm] looking for guidelines or rules on how to operate a central supply room.

I strongly recommend taking as much from Lean systems as possible when it comes to supply room organizing. If you are unfamiliar with Lean, check out The Toyota Way. In short, the basic philosophy of Lean systems is to trim the fat (waste, unnecessary processes, etc.) and improve the flow and quality of work. These systems apply wonderfully to office supplies because objects like reams of paper and toner cartridges can be counted, tracked, sorted, organized, and replaced systematically.

The five phases (5S) of Lean are: sorting, straightening, sweeping, standardizing, and sustaining. You can immediately see how these concepts apply to office supplies — sort them, straighten them (organize), , standardize them, sweep them (clean them and the room), and sustain the system (maintain).

Start by sorting items into groups by type. Do this in either an adjacent conference room or on the floor outside the room when employees aren’t present (like on a weekend). Group blue ball point pens with blue ball point pens, blue felt tip pens with blue felt tip pens, unsharpened pencils with unsharpened pencils, etc. Also during this time, create an inventory listing all the items, how many of each item you have, and the replacement information for that item (like a relevant catalog ID number from your supplier). If you could have one person creating the inventory in a database while someone else counts and reports, you can work relatively quickly.

Once sorted and inventoried, focus on the straightening and standardizing portions of the project by returning the items to the storage area. If you need to install shelves or bins, do so after evaluating how much stuff you have during the sorting phase. On the shelves, label storage bins and boxes very specifically so that there is a place for everything and everything is in its place (Staples: 26/6; Staples: 23/20; Manila Folders: 1/3 cut, 8.5″ x 11″; Manila Folders: 1/3 cut, 8.5″ x 14″; etc.). Consider using colors as visual cues for even more detailed subdivision — all paper products can sit in bins of the same color, all tools in another color. Make things as standardized as possible.

Any work done in the central supply room should have detail instructions posted nearby. (In Lean terminology, these are sometimes referred to as kanban billboards.) If someone has to ask how to make a photocopy/replace paper in the photocopier/shred papers/unjam paper from the shredder/etc. it means the processes are not properly outlined or posted. Make these posters as part of the straightening and standardizing processes.

For the sweeping/cleaning process, have a weekly time on the schedule to re-organize, evaluate, run a detailed inventory, and clean/dust the room. In Lean systems, the word Kaizen is usually associated with this process. The belief with Kaizen is that there is always room for improvement, so you should be continuously looking for ways to make things better. If the central supply room experiences extremely high traffic, this chore may need to be done once or twice a day.

One person should manage this room and be responsible for keeping track of inventory, ordering supplies, and organizing, evaluating, and cleaning the room. Although one person will be in charge of the room, you’ll still want to allow other employees access to the room. So other people will be able to be good team members and help the supply room manager (teamwork plays an important role in Lean), use pull cards, which notify the supply room manager that new products need to be ordered. (These pull cards are also a type of kanban, and will often be referred to as such.) These cards are slipped into stacks of items, usually before the second-to-last or next-to-last supply, and say something obvious like, “Time to reorder,” on them and include the product code (definitely include the product name or the supply manager won’t know what to order). There should be a collection bin for these pull cards where employees can deposit them to notify the supply room manager. Implement as many standardized processes as necessary to make things easier on employees and the supply room manager.

For sustaining and maintaining, train all staff members how to appropriately use the new central supply room. The person running the supply room will be constantly frustrated if this training is not done well. Training may have to happen more than once, and employees’ abilities to properly use the storage area should be regularly reviewed.

Thank you, Brenda, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope implementing a Lean system will help to bring order to your central supply room. Also, check the comments for even more insights into using and implementing Lean systems for office supplies.

Posted by Erin on Jun 3, 2011 | 7 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Dreaded filing

Reader C submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My husband and I have a problem — while we’ve managed to declutter our little apartment to a state that makes us both happy, we both *hate* filing papers. It’s the one task that never seems to get done because we both avoid it, hoping the other person will break down and do it. Once papers make it into the filing cabinet they’re fairly well organized, but there always seems to be a heaping pile of envelopes and documents sitting on top of it. Do you have any advice for how to overcome this reluctance to deal with our filing?

I dislike filing, too. I wonder if there is someone out there who enjoys it. Anyone?

Because filing is such a dreaded task for many people, I recommend making the chore as much of a routine as possible so you don’t ever think about it. This either means doing it every day as a regular part of your mail processing routine (open mail, process it, file important documents, be done with it) or doing it once a week at a scheduled time (Saturday mornings after your cup of coffee). And, when I suggest scheduling it, I literally mean putting it on your calendar at a specific time.

If you go with the once a week system, get a decorative box with a lid that is only a few inches deep to set on top of your filing cabinet. The box can be the depository for the papers that need to be filed until your regularly scheduled filing time. Also, if you use a shallow box as recommended, your filing can’t ever get out of control because not much paper can fit inside of it.

Be sure to check out our Paper Clutter Begone, part 4 to make sure you’re not filing papers you don’t need to keep. I didn’t get the impression you were from your question, but a nice review of what to keep isn’t a bad idea for any of us.

When at work, I’ve found it’s convenient to file whenever I’m on a conference call that doesn’t require my active participation. Also, if I’m trying to solve a problem, I’ll file to give my brain some down time. Researchers have found that alternating between mindless work (like filing) and mindful work increases your overall productivity. If you’re trying to solve a problem at home, maybe sneak in a few minutes of filing even if it isn’t your regularly scheduled filing time.

Thank you, C, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on May 27, 2011 | 37 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Organizing and uncluttering strategies for people with ADHD and visual processors

Reader Shannon submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Do you have any tips for people with ADHD that go beyond the stuff you see or hear all the time in other publications? Work is pretty okay except for the whole “getting started” part, but my home is the tough area. I am one of those people who has to see something to remember I have it but that keeps things cluttered.

Based on the information you provided in your email, it is very likely that you’re a visual processor. I’m one, so I empathize with your need to see your belongings.

After years of working with students who have different forms and ranges of severity of ADHD, I’ve come to realize that there will never be a one-size-fits-all solution for staying organized. This is true for the non-ADHD afflicted as well, but for some reason unknown to me, it’s much more widely accepted in the general population than for those with ADHD. So, I’m going to provide a number of different strategies and I suggest you try the ones that speak to you. These same strategies might also work for other visual processors, with or without ADHD.

Less is best. Too much stuff in a space likely bothers you immensely. If a drawer or closet gets too full, you may stop opening it and decide to ignore its existence. The fewer items you have in your home competing for your attention, the less you’ll feel overwhelmed by all of the visual stimuli. Just because you can own 25 shirts doesn’t mean you should own 25 shirts. (I own about 20 shirts, but 8 of them are the exact same shirt, just in a different color.) The first step to finding sanity is to get rid of as much clutter as possible — you don’t have to be a minimalist, but a minimalist-influenced space will work well for you. Remember: It is hard to be messy when you don’t have a lot of stuff to get messy.
Think outside the closet. A traditional hanging rod for clothes might be a great idea for people who are auditory processors, but they’re likely a bad idea for you. Consider getting an Expedit bookshelf (or something similar) for your closet where you can group outfits together in cubbies. Then, hang a picture of yourself in each outfit on the lip of the cubby hole so you can “see yourself” in the outfit when making decisions about what to wear. (This also helps when returning clothes to your closet.) If cubbies aren’t for you, consider installing valet rods so your clothes can face you. Give your clothes as much room as possible so you can see each item well.
Use an accountability partner. I mentioned this earlier in the week, and I think it’s ideal for someone with ADHD. Have a friend come over and sit on the couch and keep you company while you unclutter and organize. The person doesn’t need to lift a finger, his or her presence is usually enough to help keep you on track.
Consider duplicates. Although I just suggested you have as few things as possible, it will probably work to your advantage to have duplicates of the things you do use. For example, keep a pair of scissors in the same container as your wrapping paper and another pair in your kitchen and another pair in your desk drawer. The scissors are much more likely to be returned to the wrapping paper storage container after you finish wrapping a present then they are to be returned to your desk drawer in the other room. I have multiple battery rechargers in the house because I don’t remember to recharge batteries otherwise.
Shelves are better than drawers. Whenever possible, use shelving for storage instead of cabinets with doors. In your kitchen, consider removing your cabinet doors or having glass doors installed. It’s a lot easier to find things when you can see them. This is true for bookshelves, too. You may prefer to use shelves with outward facing books instead of traditional spine-only displays.
Routines, routines, routines. You probably operate very productively when running on auto-pilot. As a result, try to create routines for the repetitive actions of your life — load and unload the dishwasher every Monday and Thursday, do laundry every Tuesday night, take out the trash every Wednesday, etc. It probably takes three or four months for things to become routine for you, so don’t be too hard on yourself as you’re establishing these routines. If you’re consistent, they’ll eventually stop being things you have to remember and become things you just do.
Label simply. If you need to make it out the door every morning with your briefcase, car keys, and phone, mark these objects with the letters A, B, and C. Put a luggage tag with the letter A on it on your briefcase. Put a keychain on your keys with the letter B. Adhere a sticker to your cell phone or get a decorative cell phone case with a big letter C on it. Then, every time you leave your house or leave work you only have to remember A, B, and C. You can do a quick check to make sure you have those things, and be on your way. These simple labeling strategies are great for using with kids, too.
Use beautiful things. Plain things may feel invisible to you. I can only use manilla file folders for archived papers (like tax returns) because I can’t “see” the files. For active files, I use ones with designs on them — birds, patterns, funny sayings — because the designs help me to remember what is inside them. My desk calendar is designed by Jonathan Adler with bright colors and little designs throughout it. If it’s not pretty, I’ll lose it or forget it. If I like looking at it, chances are I won’t forget about it. If you don’t own many things (see the first “Less is best” point), these beautiful things stand out in your space and tempt you to use them.

Thank you, Shannon, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please be sure to check the comments for even more suggestions from our ADHD and visual processing readers. Good luck on your uncluttering and organizing journey!

Posted by Erin on May 21, 2011 | 25 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Concert tickets

Reader Ali submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

For the last few years I’ve been saving tickets from concerts, plays, festivals and other performances that I’ve been to — I had no real objective in mind when I started, it just became a habit after a while. Now I’ve got a pile of the things and I’d like to figure out some way to display them, instead of just having them rubber-banded together in a drawer. I thought of getting a frame from IKEA and arranging them in there, but it seems so plain, and since they all look fairly the same I think it might just look boring to have them all lined up. Do you have any suggestions for a novel way to do something more interesting with them?

I like your idea of framing and displaying the tickets, but agree that numerous tickets, side-by-side in a plain frame might not be visually interesting. Do you have photographs from the events you could frame along with the tickets? Do you have CD liner notes that correspond to the songs played on the concert tours that might be interesting to include? Pictures with the casts of plays? Giving the tickets some additional context might improve their visual interest.

If you are okay paying a little more than what you would for a ready-made Ikea frame, you could head to a frame shop and have squares cut in a mat for each ticket you want to highlight. The mat would help feature each ticket. Also, you can buy more than one frame and organize the tickets by venue, decade, or genre.

My sister-in-law uses a ticket album for all of her ticket stubs. There are also ticket diaries and ticket stub organizers, if you are looking for more styles. A ticket album, diary, or organizer is a less prominent way to keep your tickets, but will protect your tickets and keep them in one location.

I’ll also offer up my method for storing tickets — I simply photograph the ticket with my digital camera, save the image to a file on my computer, and then throw out the physical ticket. I’m sentimental about a lot of things, but surprisingly tickets aren’t something I feel the desire to keep. If you’re not very attached to the tickets, consider the photographing and tossing method.

Thank you, Ali, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for more ideas from our readers. Also, our apologies for the weird posting date on this Ask Unclutterer feature. There was a small glitch on Friday and so I decided to run your question today. There will be another Ask Unclutterer column this coming Friday.

Posted by Erin on May 16, 2011 | 33 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Is Google Docs safe for backing up confidential information?

Reader OB submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I am in the process of scanning all of our tax returns older than seven years and am considering storing them on Google Documents. Do you consider that safe, since they contain a lot of confidential information? Thanks for your opinion.

To answer your question, I contacted Timothy B. Lee who is a computer science researcher at Princeton University. Here’s what he told me:

It really depends on the user’s tolerance for risk and what her other options are. If you place confidential information on Google Docs, the risks include: Google being compromised by hackers, Google itself using the documents for nefarious purposes, your account being compromised, governments or other third parties requesting and obtaining access to the documents, and Google losing your information. None of these outcomes are very likely, but they’re all risks to keep in mind.

Personally, I wouldn’t put confidential information on Google Docs because I keep regular backups of the data on my hard drive and I’m vigilant about the security of my machines. If you run a business or are in a profession where you regularly handle confidential data, you have an obligation to do the same in order to safeguard your customers’ confidential data. But I know that, in practice, ordinary users don’t always follow these best practices. For those users, there may be a larger risk of losing information in a personal hard-drive crash or malware infection than having something bad happen to data in Google Docs. So trusting Google Docs may be a rational, calculated risk.

If you do decide to put confidential information in Google Docs, you should strongly consider signing up for 2-step authentication. This is a free service that greatly improves the security of your Google account. It won’t protect you from all the threats I listed above, but it will at least protect you in case a malicious party gets your password.

Thank you, OB, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope Timothy’s information helps you come to a solution that is best for you.

Posted by Erin on May 6, 2011 | 21 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Prioritizing relationships after the birth of a baby

Reader Nichole submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My husband and I both have large families that we need to travel to see. We also have a large network of friends. We both value these relationships immensely and [try to] make them a priority in our lives. We are expecting in August, my husband is finishing up a degree now, and I am working full time and a doctoral student on the side. We also have 2 dogs that we love to pieces and we enjoy spending time at home with them.

Many of our friends and family members are celebrating big events this year — weddings, graduations, etc. They would also like to see us as much as possible before and after the baby is born. My question is do you have any tips to balance the needs and desires of ours and our loved ones to visit and spend quality time together without overrunning our weekends and our budget? I feel pulled in too many directions. We have stuff to do at home, have a very tight budget (that I manage well, but still), and enjoy being home together, we would like to see our local friends and leave time for impromptu summer BBQs and hikes, but the people and the events that also require our attention feel too important to miss.

I don’t know if this is an issue of priorities, budget, or too many close relationships (that has always been such a blessing in the past!), but it is stressing me out having to choose between my loved ones and feeling like there is not enough time left for myself. Any ideas?

The truth of the matter is that all of this will naturally work itself out, regardless of any advice I give. When you chose to have a baby you prioritized your growing family over your friends, and the changes that are to come will reflect this decision. You didn’t decide to get rid of your friends, but your relationships with them will be different — some friendships stronger, and others will weaken. So, instead of advice, I’ll explain what the next three years of your life will probably resemble (something I wish someone would have done for me):

In your last six weeks of pregnancy, you’re simply not going to be able to travel long distances to see friends and family members. Even if your doctor gives you permission to travel that close to your due date, you likely won’t have the desire. You won’t be sleeping well, you’ll constantly feel like you have to pee, and standing on your feet for hours on end at a wedding reception won’t be something you’ll want to do. You also might have a strong desire to nest and spend time getting the house ready for its newest addition. Plus, your little one could decide to arrive early and thwart all your last-minute plans. All of my friends who have been pregnant say the last few weeks of pregnancy are physically draining, and I believe them.

Then, your child will arrive and life will be hectic for two months. You may go out a couple times with local friends, just to prove to yourself you can do it, but mostly people will come to you during this time. If friends and family members offer to make you dinner or do your laundry or wash your dishes during this time, take them up on their offers. (You can return the favor at some point.) Your dogs will probably be very jealous that there is a baby getting all your attention, so be prepared to spend daily time with them to help keep their behavior under control.

If you and your child are healthy, things become easier during the three to nine month range in comparison to those first two months. Your social life will perk back up and traveling will be relatively simple. The Holidays might be a perfect time for you to travel to see family — but if you plan to go by airplane, be sure to check with your child’s doctor first. A long car ride might be better suited for your specific little one’s ears (and easier to transport all the baby gear).

The big hit to your social life will most likely happen when your child becomes mobile. Even though your child-less friends will say they love your baby, the novelty starts to wear off when your kid can break their stuff. Family members and friends with children seem to be less annoyed by toddlers, so your social life will probably veer toward these relationships. As a result of this period, I’ve certainly become closer to my parents, which is a wonderful benefit. Also, this time is so much fun with a little one because they start to be less like a blob and more interactive with vibrant personalities and crazy preferences.

There are babysitters you can pay to watch your child in the evenings and on weekends while you socialize with friends (ranging between $15 to $20 an hour where I live) — and I recommend having a date night with your husband at least two to four times each month and some alone time for yourself, too — but you probably won’t use a babysitter as much as you think you will. It’s not just a money issue, but a priority issue, especially if you both work outside the home and your child is in daycare for eight to 10 hours a day. Time with your child will be rare (maybe only two hours when he/she is awake each weekday), and passing up those awake moments can be difficult.

You’ll notice another shift in your social life around age two and three, when your child starts demanding play dates with specific friends from preschool and getting invited to birthday parties. You’ll befriend your child’s friends’ parents, and you’ll start to hang out all together. Your social life will be active again, but in a different way. Your family will also demand that all major holidays and vacations are spent with them (because they want to hang out with your cool kid), and they will be hurt if you don’t come to visit or have them to your place. (This is often less of an issue if your parents already have a slew of grandkids.) This also might be when you decide to have another child and start the cycle all over again.

Children are amazing, and you and your husband will love being parents, but your social life will change to reflect your new priorities. My advice is to jam pack your social schedule this May and June, ask friends and family to come to you July through October, make plans to see family at the Holidays in November and December, and then expect to see more of your local friends in January through May of next year. After May 2012, you’ll just have to follow your little one’s lead. Schedule daily time with your pets to keep their jealousy under control. And, most of all, enjoy the blessing of your larger family as much as possible.

Thank you, Nichole, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Check back in with me in a couple years and let me know how things worked out for you. Also, check the comments to see what other readers have to say and if their experiences are like what I described.

Posted by Erin on Apr 29, 2011 | 49 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Photographing sentimental objects

Reader Mary submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I’ve noticed that one of the main pieces of advice you give to people looking to reduce or corral sentimental clutter is to photograph it and then toss the original item. I have to admit I am baffled by this. I cannot think of a single “memory” item I have retained where simply having a photograph of it would be as valuable as having the original. This does not include things like photographs and documents, where scanning does make sense to me since it’s about the information, but not the physical object–I’m talking about 3D objects. Could you give me some examples of the types of items you have found photographing useful for? Maybe I’m just not the kind of person who can let go of the sensory experience of holding a memory in my hand.

Mary, my guess is you are better at letting go of things than I am. Your home probably isn’t being overrun with items you deem sentimental. You likely only retain an amount you can manage and honor appropriately. The reason the advice is baffling to you is because you can’t imagine replacing your valuable sentimental items with a less valuable photograph, which is healthy.

The problem I have — and many of our readers, too — is that we want to keep all items with any sentimental attachment, even the stuff we don’t value more than a photograph. Before I started my uncluttering journey, I had every handbill anyone had handed to me on the street when I was on a vacation. They were sentimental, because they reminded me of the vacation, but they weren’t the most valuable trinkets from my vacations. I actually value a photograph of these handbills more than the real objects, so the decision to photograph and get rid of them was simple.

The decision to replace a sentimental object with a photograph should be based on your answers to the following questions:

Would an image of the object recall the same memory as the physical object?
Would you value an image of the object the same as the object or more than the object?

If “yes” is your answer to both questions, photograph the object and get rid of it. If “no” is your answer to both questions, find a way to feature the object in your home. If your answers are split, take a photograph of the object and store the object in a taped-up box in your garage or storage space for six months. If six months have passed and you’ve never accessed the box to look at the object, you should be fine with just keeping the photograph and getting rid of the original object.

Thank you, Mary, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Apr 22, 2011 | 47 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Can a tchochke-free home be warm and inviting?

Reader Helen submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

In the process of getting rid of dust collectors around the house, I find that it can start to somewhat lack personality. I don’t really like having photos around and quite like having bare walls – I could quite easily become a minimalist. I have a couple of prints but these do look rather mass-produced. I’d love some suggestions for adding warmth and humanity to my home without adding clutterful tchochkes.

I’ve been in some minimalist homes that feel warm and inviting, so I’ve never been convinced that tchochkes are a requirement for comfort. Furniture size and materials play a larger role in creating an inviting environment than ceramic kittens.

As long as your furniture is appropriately scaled for the room, or slightly over-sized, you usually won’t feel like a space is bare or cold. If your furniture is right for the room but you still feel that the space is uninviting, a floor covering might be a better alternative for you than hanging artwork on the wall. A textured carpet could be all you need to warm up the space.

Personally, I’m against the idea of having tchochkes for the sake of having tchochkes. If you have a gewgaw or a decoration in your home, it should be because you love it and find it inspiring or entertaining or treasure it deeply. Your home is your refuge from the outside world, and everything in it should be there because you have consciously chosen it to be a part of your sanctuary.

Also, consider playing with paint color on your walls. A white with a hint of gray in it can feel clean but a little warmer than a bright white. Different shades of white in squares painted directly on a bright white background wall could be interesting, like Kazimir Malevich’s famous suprematist painting. Or, paint one wall in a room an intense, non-white color and keep the other walls white in sharp contrast. In our previous home, we had the walls painted like a Mondrian painting. Most walls were white, but if there was a small wall, we painted it in a primary color.

I hope I was of some help, Helen. Please check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers. Thank you for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Apr 15, 2011 | 45 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Emptying a storage unit

Reader Allicia submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I recently moved to Minnesota from New Mexico. I didn’t have a job at first so I moved most (almost all) of my stuff into a storage unit. Now that I am settled, I have a plan to go to New Mexico to unload and organize my storage unit and get rid of stuff I no longer need, etc. I am sitting here in Minnesota and cannot fathom an idea of how to sort through the stuff packed away. I also wonder how to deal with family who will be helping me and may not want me to get rid of stuff. They have more attachment to things than I usually do. Can you help me devise a plan to attack my storage unit?

Storage units are great resources when you temporarily need a place to put your things for three to six months, like you needed to do with this move. Storage units, however, are not where things should go to live for years. When you abandon things in storage units you end up spending more money storing the items than you would selling everything and buying replacement items in the future. Additionally, the storage units are much more likely to be infested with bugs, rodents, mildew, mold and other possession-ruining things than they would be in your home.

It’s not exactly clear in your question if you plan to move your items to your new place in Minnesota or if you just want to organize the unit and leave your things in New Mexico. Whatever your current thoughts, I’m advocating that you completely get rid of the need for your storage unit. I think you’ll find that you don’t want or need the majority of the things you left in New Mexico when you headed to Minnesota.

Think of the first step of your storage unit clean out like a treasure hunt. Go through the unit on your own and find the irreplaceable things you truly value — photographs from your childhood, your favorite pieces of jewelry, and whatever else you would feel truly crushed about if they were destroyed by a fire. For most people, these items fit in one medium-size box.

Tape up the box and carry it with you on your flight or drive back to Minnesota.

For the next step of the process, have your family come in to help you sort through the remaining stuff. Before opening the storage unit door, let your family know that you plan to close the unit by the end of the day. This goal should be crystal clear in everyone’s mind, including yours.

Then, clearly mark four areas near the storage unit for your objects — trash/recycle (these are things everyone agrees are ready to be purged), sell (these are items you can post to Craigslist or take to a consignment shop), donate (these are things in good shape that a local charity could benefit from having), and family stash (these are items your family members will take with them at the end of the process).

The family stash pile is going to be the most controversial pile you create (or, rather, don’t create). What will likely happen is that someone in your family will say, “Oh, you can’t give that away!” about an object in your storage unit. In response to their declaration, you can respond, “I will gladly give it to you if you would like it.” If the person says she wants it, then it will go into the family stash pile for that person to take home. If the person says, “I don’t want it, but I think you should keep it,” the object will then go into the donate or sell pile. If someone doesn’t want an object enough to want to care for it themselves, they have no leverage to try to guilt you into keeping it.

Have a truck or trucks available at the end of your sorting process to immediately haul the four piles to their appropriate destinations. If you are selling objects on Craigslist, you will likely need to store these objects in someone’s garage for a few days so potential buyers can come by and view the items. Give yourself a strict deadline that any objects that haven’t sold by the day before you leave will be donated to charity.

With the money you get from selling items on Craigslist or through consignment, you can buy things (if you want) for your new place in Minnesota.

Finally, I strongly recommend thanking your helpers by providing them with drinks and snacks as they work and dinner when you are all finished. People tend to be more level-headed and easy going when they’re well fed and hydrated.

Thank you, Allicia, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope I was able to help you navigate this process, and congratulations on your move. Be sure to check out the comments for even more suggestions and different perspectives from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Apr 8, 2011 | 26 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: What to do with sentimental t-shirts?

Reader Dawn submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My son has played sports since he was 5 yrs old and between me, my husband and him, we are overrun with “spirit” shirts with his name & number. Of course, he’s switched teams over the years, and has grown, so although a cute memento, I only need to keep 1 per team for the memory box. So, what do I do with the rest? I’m hesitant to donate them because they have his name on the back. Do you have any suggestions for me?

For the cotton spirit shirts you want to toss, I recommend cutting them up and using them as rags. If they would create more rags than you could possibly use in a lifetime, ask your friends, family, and local charity if they could use some cotton rags. Someone will want them.

If the fabric is polyester, you can actually recycle it. Call or check the website for your local recycling center to see if they accept polyester. It’s expensive to recycle and not all recycling centers accept polyester, so be sure to call before you make your donation.

Regarding the shirts you plan to keep, have you thought about having them sewn into a quilt instead of leaving them in a memory box? I think you might enjoy having a quilt to take with you to your son’s sporting events that is made up of all of his previous team shirts. The other parents in the stands might also have fun looking at it and taking a stroll down memory lane. There are companies that offer this service which you can find online, quilters you can hire through Etsy, and probably even your local quilt shop knows of someone in your vicinity who would be willing to sew it for you.

If one particular shirt holds special meaning (a state championship, his very first team shirt) you might also consider putting it in a frame and hanging it in his room as artwork. Since you’re going to the trouble of keeping some of the shirts, why not celebrate them?

Also, ask yourself if you really want to keep a copy of each shirt. Would just a few highlights have the same meaning for you and your son? There isn’t a right or wrong answer to that question, just something to consider.

Thank you, Dawn, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more ideas from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Apr 1, 2011 | 28 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How to break up with stuff after a breakup

Reader Ellen submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I recently ended a very long-term relationship and I have no idea what to do with the gifts I was given over the last ten years. Some of them (CDs, books) are impersonal and I still use and enjoy them, but other items – some engraved, some very expensive, some very romantic – are causing problems.

I can’t use them without feeling upset. I can’t give them away, as most of them are personalized or unique in some way. Most are made of materials that can’t be recycled. It feels wrong to put an item worth a hundred dollars into the trash.

Do you have any creative suggestions? Or any advice on new ways to think about the problem?

I’m of the opinion that you shouldn’t have anything in your life that you don’t need or love, so I don’t see a reason to keep any of the items that make you upset. If it makes your stomach churn when you see it, this is a pretty good sign that it’s time for the item to go.

Gifts that have been engraved can be polished clean by a jeweler. I suggest having these engravings buffed out and then selling these items. Even carvings on wood can be sanded out by a woodworker. Buy something you want with the revenue, invest it, or donate it to charity.

Jewelry stores are also great locations to dispose of jewelry because they can melt down pieces and refashion them into new pieces you want. I actually took diamonds from two different pieces of jewelry boyfriends gave me and had them made into earrings. One diamond had to be tweaked with a little to match the other, but it wasn’t very expensive and it was worth it.

If you’re not interested in having a piece of jewelry refashioned, you can consider selling or swapping it on the site ExBoyfriendJewelry.com.

I’d also consider donating objects to charity or to someone in need, if appropriate. You might not yet have the nerve to sell something, but a homeless person might not have any issue with walking those diamonds into a pawn shop and getting money for a week’s worth of food and some clothes.

Be sure to check out the comments for even more ideas. I’m sure our readers will also have great ideas for you. Thank you, Ellen, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Mar 25, 2011 | 45 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Conversation topics to discuss before moving in with someone

Reader Kristen submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My fiancee and I will marry on May 1, and although we both currently room with VERY messy and disorganized roomies, we both agree on keeping our future home clean and organized. Do you have any suggestions, ideas that we should start out doing at the beginning, in order to build a “neat” future together?

Congratulations on your impending nuptials!

The two of you are already headed in the right direction with regard to an uncluttered and organized future because you are discussing these issues before moving in together. Open lines of communication are essential if the two of you want to avoid frustrations in your married life.

You may have covered many of these topics so far in your discussions, but give the list a look to see if there are still a few things you can hash out before heading down the aisle. Have pencil and paper with you during your discussion so you can make lists, charts, or just take notes about your talk so you can review them once you’re in your new place:

A vision of your place together and how you will live in that home. Will your home be a place to entertain your friends and family, and how often? Will your home be a place to relax and rejuvenate after a day of school or work? How do you want things to look and what do you expect out of the space?
What both of you be responsible for every day. Do you expect dirty clothes to be put into the hamper? Do you want all dirty dishes to be loaded into the dishwasher or will it be okay to have them sit in the sink? How long can a project mess be left out on a table or in a room? How will these responsibilities be met and when?
What chores each person will be responsible for in the home. Will you take out the trash or will he? Will you change the kitty litter box or will he? Who will cook, clean up afterward, scrub the tub and toilet, vacuum the carpet, dust? How will these responsibilities be met and when? Divvy these chores up now to ensure that one of you won’t be carrying the full load.
Plan for handling frustrations in the future. There will be times when one of you will be more messy than normal and this will bother the other person. How will you handle conversations about these frustrations so you don’t hurt each others’ feelings, show respect for each other, and help you find the best solution?
Review policies. How often will you review your daily and chore responsibilities? How often will you unclutter your closets, garage, basement, and other storage spaces? Will you take on spring and fall cleaning? If you hire someone to clean, how often will you review their services and decide if you should keep them or hire someone new?

I’ll admit, these aren’t sexy topics to discuss before getting married, but they will help you significantly in your future life together. I wish my husband and I wouldn’t have waited more than a year after we were married to discuss them — it certainly would have alleviated a great deal of stress he felt about our place because of my clutter-bug and messy ways.

Thank you, Kristen, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Again, congratulations on your big day in May!

Posted by Erin on Mar 18, 2011 | 21 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Toddler-safe labeling solutions

Reader Cynthia submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I have a modular piece from Target where the cloth-covered boxes fit perfectly in, 2-tall by 4-wide. It’s resolved several issues in our small entryway, from stacks of shoes to picnic items, sunscreen and hats, to outside toddler toys. So far, it also looks very stylish!

Trouble is, my toddler has learned to re-arrange them so I never know which box holds what since they’re never in the same place. Running out to work, the park, etc., takes extra time just pulling out each box to find out what’s inside. It was fun at first, but I’m tired of playing The Price is Right-ish game.

I need a way to label the boxes while keeping the aesthetics of the set-up. All of my other solutions have either a card holder right on the box for labels, or I’ve simply slapped a mailing label on my cabinet boxes, since they’re hidden behind cabinets. I though of gift tags on the handles, but they also have to be baby safe (my little one is teething and prefers to chew on everything except teethers).

Since I’m not familiar with your exact setup, I’ve included a few ideas here that might work for you. Also, check out the comments, where readers might have additional solution ideas. If all goes well, we will hopefully find you an answer.

My first thought was to use something scrapbookers might stick to album pages. These adhesive Metal Label Holders with printed inserts don’t have any lead in them:

A search on Amazon for “scrapbook labels” turns up numerous stickers that are visually more appealing than rectangular office labels:

Like you mentioned in your e-mail, basic Luggage Tags could work if you have a loop to hook them to. You could print fun inserts for the tags to personalize them for your needs:

Thank you, Cynthia, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Again, I hope that between my suggestions and what the readers recommend that you find an answer!

Posted by Erin on Mar 11, 2011 | 20 Comments | Tweet This

Unclutterer

Welcome.

Featured Posts

Categories

Nice Sites