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Ask Unclutterer: Parting with a cherished item that has been broken

Reader Lirpa submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I have something that I love that recently broke by accident. It has sentimental value (passed to me from an aunt), it is aesthetically my style, it was useful, and it made me smile whenever I saw it. It is still all those things, except that it can no longer be safely used (nor repurposed). It’s also not reparable, and I don’t know where I could get another one to replace it.

How do I get rid of it? Any other object like this would go in the trash, but I love it so much. There’s really nothing that can be done with it even if I did save it—it would be clutter. How do I walk myself through this process of getting rid of it? Seems silly to be grieving such a simple object, but I am.

When accidents happen to objects we used faithfully and loved, it can be difficult to let them go. It’s certainly not easy for me. The objects feel like trusted friends who were there for you when you needed them.

I think the first thing you need to do is thank the object for its service. You could literally say something aloud to it, or you could just spend a minute or two thinking about all the good times you shared. It seems a little silly, but it helps to have the formal goodbye.

Once you’ve acknowledged its service, you can decide how to proceed. Obviously, you can just dispose of the object and be done with it. However, you might need a little more than this to help ease the pain.

You can make a visual tribute to it. Get a shadow box and decorate it with pictures of you and your aunt using the item and maybe a piece of the actual item that broke. Hang the tribute on the wall as long as you need to until your time of grieving has past.

If you’re a journal keeper, you could also glue a picture of it in your journal and then write down the things you thought about it in your formal goodbye.

Since you don’t say exactly what the item is, it’s hard for me to know if you sincerely can’t repurpose it. My guess is that you could break off a chunk of it, drill a hole into it, and make a small piece of it into a bauble on your key ring. If it’s soft, you might be able to sew a piece of it onto a quilt or something else that you use in your home.

I’m sorry you have lost a favorite item. Be sure to check out the comments where our readers may have even more ideas for you.

Thank you, Lirpa, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.

Posted by Erin on Jan 20, 2012 | 33 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How do you create resolutions when you’re coming up on a major life change?

Reader Amanda submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

How do you define goals or resolutions when you know your life is about to change dramatically? I am due with our firstborn, a son, in early 2012 (our due date is February 4th) … I don’t know how to plan my life around such a big addition. I would like to lose the baby weight (plus some), but I have no idea what that will look like with a baby in the mix. My friends and family are not goal-setters like I am, so I don’t know who to ask for help setting goals around the unknown. Any advice?

Congratulations on your upcoming new addition!

Since you enjoy setting goals and resolutions, I suggest you go ahead and make the ones you wish to make. You won’t stop being you when you become a parent (or when you experience any major life change), so go for it. Do some soul searching, make your lists, and create a 2012 Resolution Action Plan. Resolution enforcement police won’t come and arrest you if you don’t cross all your resolutions off your list by December 31, 2012. Worst case scenario, you won’t achieve any of your resolutions by the end of the year, and you’ll save yourself some time coming up with resolutions for 2013.

Plus, after your son is born and you become accustom to being a parent, you can always revise your resolutions. Think of it as a bonus opportunity — a goal-setter’s dream — to come up with a new plan in the middle of the year! Irrespective of parenting, anyone can revise resolutions and goals as necessary. Your 2012 Resolution Action Plan isn’t law, but rather a living document you can reassess as you wish.

The first two months of parenting, at least in my experience, are very similar to the first two months of a new dating relationship. You’re head-over-heels for this new person in your life and you withdraw from your friends and responsibilities for awhile while you get to know the new person. After two months, you start to enter back into a normal routine, but with this new person in the mix.

Since our son was healthy and a good sleeper, being a new parent was actually pretty easy until he learned to walk. I could strap him in a stroller and go for a run or put him in a carrier and go to the grocery store. When he started walking at 9-1/2 months is when life as a parent got more complicated for us. Luckily for you, most boys don’t walk until around their first birthday, so you could get 2-1/2 more months of the easy life than we did.

All this being said, every child is different and your son’s temperament, health, sleeping and eating patterns, and preferences will dictate how much time you can spend doing things not immediately related to caring for your son. Go ahead and make the resolutions, but don’t feel bad if you don’t achieve all of your goals by the end of 2012. You’ll at least have been loving and doting on your child instead, which is still a wonderful accomplishment.

Thank you, Amanda, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Once again, congratulations on your forthcoming adventure in parenting.

Posted by Erin on Dec 30, 2011 | 18 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: What to do with a wedding dress?

Reader Allie submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I’ve been enjoying (and learning from) Unclutterer for quite some time, and am now downsizing from 1800 sq ft in a big city to 1000 sq ft on a lake in the country. Of the few things that I am not ready to unclutter, my wedding dress is one of them. After our wedding, I had my dress professionally cleaned and boxed, but the box is HUGE and much too large for our new wee cottage. Do you have any suggestions for how I could store my wedding dress properly with a smaller footprint? Perhaps a very good quality garment bag? Any advice you have for me would be so gratefully received.

What to do with a wedding dress is often a polarizing topic. It charges up emotions in people who are married, people who have been married but aren’t currently, and even people who aren’t married but have inherited their mothers’ gowns and/or their grandmothers’ gowns. I’ve joked with other professional organizers that the first rule of professional organizing is not discussing wedding gowns with clients. It’s a topic I like to avoid without exception.

But … I’m making the exception to my normal rule of not writing about wedding dresses because you have already decided to keep your dress and you are secure in this decision. I’m still crossing my fingers as I type, however, in hopes of not offending you.

Let me tell you about my dress and the path it has taken, which will hopefully be beneficial to you as you make your decision. The first thing you need to know is that I had a lot of fun at my wedding reception. By the time the celebration was over, I had chocolate icing smeared on the front of my dress (not sure how this happened), wine and other drinks spilled on the back of it (accidentally, by guests), and a good rip in the bottom hem (a mishap I had on the dance floor). The dry cleaner did what he could to save the gown, but there was no way he could have made it pristine. I didn’t even pay him to fix the hem. He cleaned it and put it into a moth-resistant garment bag and I was okay with this.

I had wanted to be a part of the Trash the Dress project so the dress didn’t need to be perfect, but the timing never worked out for the photo shoot to happen. As a result, my dress continued to hang in the closet in its special bag for years, also taking up a good amount of space.

When we moved out of our previous house in March, I found that my dress was covered in moth larvae. In its special moth-resistant bag, in my closet that was very clean and full of lavender sachets and cedar chips, it was no match for hungry hungry moths. I had my dress dry cleaned again and boxed — stains, rips, moth holes and all. Now, my intention is to have the good pieces cut up and recycled into about two dozen handkerchiefs that I plan to give as wedding gifts to nieces, close friends, future daughter-in-law, etc.

If you get a professional garment bag for your dress, be sure to open the bag and check on your dress every month. Also, constantly stock it with fresh cedar and lavender sachets. The professional moth-resistant garment bag is key because if you leave it in a regular dry cleaning bag the bag will disintegrate and stain the dress.

Personally, I think you should keep it in the large box. Since you enjoy keeping it, choose to get rid of something else in your home that matters less to you. Every six months or so put new cedar chips and lavender sachets in the box and check it out to make sure it’s okay. The box is not fully critter proof, but so far the box has been much better than the moth-resistant garment bag I paid big bucks for that didn’t work. If you’re a millionaire, consider encasing the wedding dress box in concrete and steel and unobtanium and submerge it in the ocean like a submarine … although I wouldn’t even guarantee pesky moths couldn’t find it there …

If at some point you change your mind and choose to get rid of it, consider:

recycling it like Andie Walsh does in Pretty in Pink or like I plan to do with the handkerchiefs
donating it to Making Memories breast cancer research foundation
donating it to the Glass Slipper Project, which accepts all types of formal gowns to give to students who are unable to purchase prom attire
or if it’s couture and icing free, I think you can donate it to The Bridal Garden, a non-profit bridal shop that accepts dresses to sell to benefit educational programs for children in New York City

Thank you, Allie, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers, and good luck with your dress storage.

Posted by Erin on Nov 11, 2011 | 61 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: The connection between surroundings and perspective

Reader Tom submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I don’t buy it. I read “Clutter can kill creativity and innovation” and don’t believe a word of it. I can work if my desk is a mess. The “scientific research” is preposterous. I don’t need a minimalist workspace to be creative or innovative. Explain that.

Tom, you don’t need scientific research to prove what you already know to be true: Your surroundings influence the way you work and live, regardless of if you are aware of it or not.

Whenever my office or home are a mess I think about the drive from the Kansas City airport to my hometown to remind myself of how important my environment influences my work, life. It takes a little more than an hour to get from the airport to my mom’s house in Kansas, but the trek is more about transforming one’s perspective than ticking off minutes on a clock. The hectic, metropolitan energy carried through the airport gives way to a raw, rural world as the car travels west along Interstate-70.

Out there, trees are pruned by years of savage winds and spirited rains instead of manufactured gardening tools. Tall grasses wave from their chalky dirt, as if to welcome you to this barren, yet beautiful, golden landscape.

Evidence of man’s presence and dominance of the land appears on the rolling hills with water towers and grain silos every 15 or 20 miles. The smooth highways, road signage, and farm houses are less jarring reminders that people call this place home.

Life in my hometown feels heavier and more exposed than it does in the DC suburbs. You can feel callouses when you shake a person’s hand. People speak honestly and candidly, even to strangers. You can’t be anonymous, rather you have an obligation to carry your burdens and the burdens of your family and neighbors. Life isn’t better or worse or backward or calmer in Kansas — it’s simply different, unprotected. I’m different, less guarded, when I’m there.

When I talk to my Kansas family on the phone from my east coast suburban house with my suburban manicured lawn, I’m not instantly transformed into the person I am when I am there in person. My mind and body know I’m only a few blocks from a Starbucks and a Metro ride away from Congress. My perspective is heavily influenced by the concrete, steel, glass, and seemingly endless river of shopping centers, office buildings, and neighborhoods with their developments’ names carved into stone. To make the anticipated quip, it’s obvious I’m not in Kansas anymore.

If you think your environment doesn’t influence your perspective, imagine the experience of attending a game in a sports stadium. Being at the venue is vastly different than watching the game on your television at home. You’re immersed in the smell of the popcorn from the concession stand, experience the same temperature as the players on the field, and feel the cheers from the crowd.

There are other scientific studies different than the one referenced in “Clutter can kill creativity and innovation” supporting these same conclusions, but you don’t need to read them. You already know that you feel differently walking along a beach on a warm spring day looking out over the ocean than you do waiting in a crowded line at the DMV. An organized, comfortable room easily instills in you a sense of calm and clarity that takes longer to achieve (if at all) in a chaotic space. Without clutter, there are fewer things to distract you from focusing on what is important to you. It might not be impossible to be creative or innovative in a cluttered office — but, it certainly is more difficult. Why make things more difficult than they need to be?

Thank you, Tom, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope I was able to provide you with a sufficient response. Be sure to check the comments for even more insight into this issue from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Oct 28, 2011 | 44 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Storing large brim hats

Reader Joanna submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

As I was cleaning this weekend I was completely stumped when I tried to figure out how to store the three hats my husband and I own. Not baseball caps or winter hats, but two cowboy hats and my wide-brimmed sunhat. We use these regularly and don’t want to get rid of them. None of our drawers are tall and wide enough, and none of the hats have loops for hanging them on the wall. Any suggestions?

Like you, I have a similar large hat storage requirement. Everyone in our house has at least two cowboy hats (summer and winter), my son has a hard plastic fireman’s hat, and I own two large sun hats. Currently, we each have a large hat box where these hats live in our closets. I covered my hat box with contact paper for fun, but you could easily skip this step and keep the box plain. And, for good measure, I throw some cedar chips into all of the boxes as a precaution against pests.

If you want daily or even weekly access to your hats, you might be interested in a rack that is more suitable for a location beyond your closet.

I like the idea of a countertop hat display, like what you might see in a retail store, and one costs less than $30:

In an entryway, you could hang a piece of pegboard, paint it to match your wall color, and then attach hat brackets to the pegboard for less than $2 a piece:

In our previous house, we had an Eames Hang-It-All that was great for hats — but it retails for $200, so you’ll probably want to go with a less expensive option:

Finally, if you’re artistic, maybe a few styrofoam mannequin heads ($10 each) could work with your decor:

Be sure to check the comments for even more hat storage ideas from our readers. Thank you, Joanna, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Oct 21, 2011 | 27 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Hesitant to get rid of old computers because may need files off old machines

Reader K submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

We have a few computers that should be donated, but I’m deathly afraid of losing files that either weren’t migrated to the new machine or were created after the new machine was up and running (and therefore, not on the new machine).

Is there some sort of computer utility program that can compare the directories (and nested subdirectories) of one computer against those of another, to highlight differences (files, newer versions) so I can decide whether or not to keep or delete the files?

I could just recopy the files to the newer machine, but I really want to make a conscious decision to bring over files, not just by default.

After the comparison is done and the files are copied over (assuming there are some), I know it’s important to have the hard drive destroyed so we don’t let our personal data into anyone else’s hands. I also know it’s important to recycle the components, not dump them. We will do those steps only after I’m satisfied that there aren’t files (i.e., older photos, important random documents) that need to be saved first.

Oh, by the way, I’m talking about Windows computers, not Macs.

My assumption is that you are using a Windows 7 operating system since it has been the OS-du jour the past couple years. As a result of this assumption, I’d start by trying SyncToy 2.1, which is a free Microsoft program that works with Windows 7. (Free! Free!) It will help you to transfer documents from multiple old machines to your current machine and also compare all the files to identify duplicates. It’s easy to use and all you do is click on boxes to make decisions about your files.

When the comparison is complete, I recommend spending 15 minutes a day weeding through all the documents on your new computer. You no longer need to worry about duplicate files, but there are likely still files you transferred that you don’t need or want. Eventually, you’ll sort through all these old files, and your machine will be uncluttered. At this point, be sure to do a much needed backup of your computer to an external hard drive or online, or, better yet, both.

For new content you create on your new machine, consider using a method that regularly has you deleting unnecessary and temporary content. I like the method Brian Kieffer uses — it’s the one I detail in my book Unclutter Your Life in One Week — which he describes in detail in “Managing computer file clutter.”

Finally, when it’s time to say farewell to your old machines, check out “How to dispose of old electronics” for advice on how to delete data from your hard drives.

Thank you, K, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more ideas from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Oct 14, 2011 | 16 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How should I store sweaters this winter?

Reader Mary Margaret submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

How do you store your sweaters, and how often do you clean them? Most of my clothes are nicely organized, but sweaters continue to be a problem, especially now that fall is upon us. Here’s the situation: My boyfriend and I share a reach-in closet, and all of our sweaters are stored on the shelf above the closet rod. They start out nice and folded when they’re clean, but after they’ve been worn we usually just toss them back onto the shelf, and it always just ends up as a big messy pile. The issue is compounded by the fact that these garments are worn frequently but not washed (usually the site of folding) very often since a) they don’t get that dirty (no contact with sweaty human skin) and b) it is expensive to dry clean, which many of them require. I know there have been some forum discussions about what to do with “wear again” clothing items, but the issue isn’t so much WHERE to put the sweaters as how to keep them organized when they’re there.

It appears that your closet storage is very similar to the closet I had in my last house. I’ll share with you what I did, and then ask you to check the comments to read even more suggestions from our readers. Every week I’m surprised by how creative and amazing our readers’ suggestions are.

I want to begin by discussing sweaters in a general sense to give you an idea of why I do what I do. Natural fiber sweaters — cotton, sheep’s wool, cashmere (hair from the undercoat of a Cashmere goat), mohair (hair from an Angora goat), angora (hair from an Angora rabbit), silk, etc. — are highly susceptible to being eaten by bugs and little critters. Even natural fibers blended with synthetic materials — polyester, rayon, acetate — aren’t safe from hungry pests. The most famous enemies of the sweater are moth larvae, specifically the larva of the Tineola bisselliella Common Clothes Moth, who make a feast out of the keratin in the fibers. (Keratin is a protein found in hair, and those larvae need energy to eventually become brown winged creatures.)

Clothes Moths love dirty sweaters most of all. If a sweater has dead skin cells, sweat, food, or any other type of organic matter on it, this is the area where they will begin to dine.

Start by having all your dry-clean only sweaters dry cleaned (this chemical process will kill any pests on your sweaters) and washing all your sweaters that can be laundered at home. After you dry the sweaters you washed at home, you will want to toss them into a garbage bag and put that bag into the freezer for three or four days. Freezing the sweaters will kill any pests that may have survived the washing process. If you start by doing this cleaning process you’ll know that your storage system will be pest free going forward.

Next, you’ll want to store your sweaters in clear, thick, air-tight, plastic containers. Clear is great because you can see into the box, and plastic is good because the vast majority of pests won’t eat through it the way they will eat through fabric and cardboard. (Mice will chew through plastic if highly motivated, but you didn’t mention a mouse problem, so you should be fine.) I recommend getting four sweater boxes so you and your boyfriend can each have one box for absolutely clean sweaters and one for clerty sweaters (clerty: sort of clean, sort of dirty). Clothes moths and many other pests aren’t super fond of the oil from cedar wood or the scent of lavender, so get your hands on some freshly sanded cedar chips or blocks, lavender sachets, or other anti-pest products containing camphor. Put these deterrents in your four boxes to help ward off any pests that might sneak in when you have the lid off the box or that you picked up while wearing the sweater.

After wearing sweaters, just toss them in the clerty box (you don’t have to fold the sweaters, just be sure to put the lid on the box every time) until you decide to have the sweaters cleaned. I clean the sweaters that don’t touch my skin usually four times during the winter. Sweaters that touch my skin I clean every time I wear them. After your sweaters are cleaned, you can fold them and return them to the totally clean sweater box. Separating the sweaters reduces the likelihood that all of your sweaters will be destroyed if you accidentally get pests in your clerty bin. Finally, be sure to label all the bins so you don’t mix clerty sweaters with your clean sweaters.

This method is incredibly simple, protects your sweaters, and keeps them from looking messy or falling off the shelf onto the floor.

Thank you, Mary Margaret, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Oct 7, 2011 | 35 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Difficulty parting with sentimental objects

Reader S. submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I really want to unclutter my house, but every time I go to do this I get emotional and start reminiscing in my mind. So, back in the pile/box it goes. I can’t seem to move forward. I know if you haven’t used it in 2 years you should get rid of it. HELP!!!

I think there are two main types of objects in our homes — utilitarian and sentimental objects. Utilitarian objects are useful items like plates and chairs and blenders. The two year rule you mentioned primarily applies to these types of objects. If you don’t have use for a utilitarian object over the course of two years (or one year), you should donate the item to charity or sell it on Craigslist or give it to a friend who wants it. My guess is that you don’t have much issue parting with these types of objects since they hold no emotional attachment.

Conversely, sentimental objects don’t usually work with “if you haven’t used it in X timeframe” guidelines because the reason you have the item has very little to do with an object’s purpose. You keep sentimental items because you have an emotional attachment to them that is often based on a specific memory. You may have your grandmother’s rocking chair in your daughter’s nursery, and you may actually use it to rock your daughter to sleep at night, but the reason you have that exact chair is because it was your grandmother’s. When your daughter no longer wants a rocking chair in her room, you’re more likely to move the chair to another room of the house instead of selling it. If you were to get rid of the chair you might feel like you’re getting rid of your grandmother. (Obviously, you wouldn’t be getting rid of your grandmother if you did part with the chair, but the emotional attachment you have can certainly cause you to feel that way.)

Remember that clutter is anything that distracts you from pursuing the life of your dreams. If you have so much sentimental stuff that it is causing a stressful mess or taking up room in your home for things that matter more to you, you will want to cull the clutter. But, you don’t have to get rid of all your sentimental stuff. At least for me, some of the things I keep for sentimental reasons are objects that reflect what I value most. My grandmother is one of my most favorite people on the planet, and having her rocking chair makes me smile and remember all the wonderful times we have shared. So, I keep that exact chair. However, I don’t keep every card she ever sent me or every gift she ever gave me because I don’t have room to keep everything and the chair elicits the happiest of all the memories. With sentimental items, it’s usually a good idea to aim for quality over quantity. Think about sorting through your sentimental items like an editing project — you’re not getting rid of everything, you’re just getting rid of the excess that distracts from the really good stuff.

For you, I recommend choosing one nice waterproof box (like a plastic bin) and calling it your Keepsake Box. Do not use a cardboard box as critters and pests can eat through it and water can soak into it and ruin your keepsakes. Then, only put the sentimental items you decide to keep in your one Keepsake Box. You’ll need to make guidelines for what sentimental objects you wish to keep and which ones you wish to purge. Items to get rid of might be things that are broken or damaged, things that you don’t remember exactly what they represent, things that are associated with bad memories, and things that you value less than another object that represents the same memory.

Also, grab a friend and a digital camera as you’re going through this process. Have the friend hold up stuff from your current stash (Rule #1: YOU can’t touch any of the stuff. Research has found that it’s harder for people to get rid of things they are holding). Any item that doesn’t meet your “keep” criteria, photograph it with a digital camera before having your friend help you get rid of the item. This way, if you ever want to see the object again, you can simply pull up the digital image file on your computer. That file takes up a lot less space in your house than the actual object did, and you’re still able to look at it whenever you want.

At the end of the project, you’ll still have a Keepsake Box, but it will hold things that are really important to you. Moving forward, you can only put items in the Keepsake Box that fit inside the box. This means, you need to leave some room in your Keepsake Box for future memories and be sure to only add the really important paraphernalia. You also might consider getting a journal and writing individual entries about each of the items in your Keepsake Box. Tell the story of the things that matter most to you. If you don’t want to spend the time writing about an item, it could be a sign that the item isn’t actually very important to you. (This isn’t always the case, but it’s definitely something to consider.)

If you don’t have a friend who would be good at helping with this sort of uncluttering project, hire a professional organizer to assist you with the work. Interview a few and choose one you trust and believe can best help you.

Also, I strongly recommend displaying and using your sentimental items that have some utility. If you’re proud of your college diploma, frame it and hang it on the wall of your office as a daily reminder of your accomplishment. If your mom made you a quilt, get it out of storage and wrap yourself in it on chilly evenings. Hiding important and useful sentimental objects in a box is a pretty lousy way to enjoy something. Use your Keepsake Box only for those small things that lack utility and would be awkward to display. For instance, I have a copy of my wedding invitation in my Keepsake Box. I don’t have any use for the invitation and I don’t have a desire to display it, but every year on our wedding anniversary we pull it out and look at it and talk about how much fun we had on our wedding day. I think Keepsake Boxes are perfect for this type of item.

Good luck!

Thank you, S., for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Sep 30, 2011 | 26 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Reducing wallet size

Reader K submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Even though I keep my wallet tidy, it is always packed with debit cards, credit cards, ID, insurance cards (dental, health, vision), auto insurance, business cards etc. I’ve consolidated loyalty cards into my iPhone, but do you have other tips like consolidating insurance cards? Is it okay to put all the insurance ID/phone # etc on one homemade card and get it laminated?

I’m glad to read that you have consolidated your loyalty cards. It is such an easy task and saves a good amount of space in your wallet and/or on your keychain. For other readers, if you have a smart phone, all you need to do to put your loyalty cards on your phone is use a digital camera with better than 2 megapixels and a micro focus to take closeup pictures of the bar codes on your cards. Then, transfer the pictures to your smartphone and store them in a folder in your photos titled “loyalty cards.” Barcode scanners should be able to read the barcode image and the number also can be manually typed into a keypad if the scanner doesn’t work.

In theory, keeping all of your insurance information on a single card should be enough for your medical provider. However, every doctor I’ve ever visited wants the physical card so they can photocopy it and check the name printed on the card against a photo ID. The reason they photocopy the card and check the name is to help prevent against insurance fraud (someone, not you, using your card to cover their care). Seeing as someone determined to commit fraud could easily make a fake card with their name on it, I’m not sure how valuable this process of checking identity really is. Regardless, it’s what the medical providers currently do to show their due diligence.

I get around the big wallet problem by only carrying the bare minimum cards on me when I am just running around town — driver’s license, debit card, and my primary health insurance card. I’ll only take other cards with me if I know I’m going to the specific place that requires that card. In fact, my entire wallet is nothing more than a business card case. My method isn’t for everyone, though, especially people who live in remote locations where accidentally forgetting a card could be an hour trip home from the doctor’s office to retrieve the card. In these situations, I’d recommend a credit card holder that could be locked in the car’s glove box.

Thank you, K, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Sep 9, 2011 | 44 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Recycling 25 years of academic journals

Reader June submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I have academic journals in my field for the last 25 years and am moving again. Rather than just bring them along in boxes I am looking for a site who might not have access to the Internet or a library in a third world school who might have a use for them. I realize the cost of shipping might preclude my current feeling of generosity but I hate to burn or throw out all those years of knowledge. Do you have any suggestions?

Great to hear that you’re not planning to move the boxes of journals again. Twenty-five years of journals must take up a lot of space, and you’ll certainly feel a lot freer without all of them.

Getting rid of the journals may not be as difficult as you think it might be. Right after college, I went to work for a small publication called the Kansas Government Journal (I’m sure you all have heard of it and have subscriptions). I would often field calls from teachers, librarians, and individuals looking for back issues. I never, however, received offers from people wanting to give us these back issues. It would have been nice had someone offered to give us their back copies since we had a limited supply.

Noting this, I think your first plan of action should be to contact the editorial staff of the journals. If the publication doesn’t want your old copies, they very likely have an idea of someone who does.

If your calls aren’t fruitful, you might also check with your university libraries or with other professionals in your field. Also check the comments to this post where our readers will (hopefully) provide even more ideas for backup suggestions. Remember, since what you’re trying to get rid of are magazines and paperbacks, you can mail them book rate through the U.S. Postal Service. You won’t likely have to spend a fortune if you end up mailing the collection.

Finally, the recycling bin is always an option if nothing else pans out. At least at that point, you’ll know you tried to get them into the hands of someone who wanted them.

Thank you, June, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Sep 2, 2011 | 26 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Traveling with jewelry

Reader Katie submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I can’t seem to find a way to keep my jewelry organized while traveling. A simple solution, of course, would be to only bring one or two pieces when I travel, but for longer trips I don’t really like this option. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I’m more of a minimalist jewelry wearer when I travel, but my mom and sister-in-law are not. Over the years, I’ve noticed that both of them travel with a small velvet case especially made for traveling with jewelry. Their special cases have different areas for rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and watches. The one my mom carries even has strips of fabric that weave through the necklaces so they don’t become tangled.

There are numerous options available through Amazon (1, 2, and 3) and I suggest you find one that best meets your needs and go with it. These cases keep your jewelry organized during transit, and they are also extremely easy to toss into a safe in a hotel room.

Another option is to pack only highly versatile pieces that are suited well for travel. Pack earrings, a necklace, and a bracelet that can be worn with casual or dressy garments and that are a combination of a yellow gold and a silver metal (white gold, silver, steel, platinum, etc.). These two color options extend the possibilities for when you can wear them. In my case, I wear a wood watch that when turned around looks like a snazzy wood bracelet, which is perfect for day and evening.

Thank you, Katie, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for even more ideas from our readers. I’m sure there are other folks (jewelers?) who are constantly traveling with jewelry who will have even more ideas for you.

Posted by Erin on Aug 19, 2011 | 38 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Secure password managers

Reader Nutro submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Since my father passed away recently, I’ve had to take care of almost all kinds of family accounts (bills, insurance, car titles, house deeds, etc). Not only is this new to me (I’m really young), my mother never learned how to take care of these things since her English is bad. It helps to do most of it online, but I have to keep track of different usernames, account numbers, and passwords. I can remember my own account information easily but what is the best way to keep track of the others? I thought of writing it down, but was worried of someone finding and taking it since I have to access it quite often. Currently, I have some of the information on a private blog, but worried about what will happen if someone hacked either my computer or the blog. Is there a better, safer way to organize private information that needs to be accessed regularly?

My condolences to you on losing your father. You’re also very kind to help out your mother during this time.

As far as username and password storage is concerned, I strongly recommend the program 1Password. It interfaces with all the major browsers on both the Mac and Windows platforms, and it stores unlimited passwords. It is also great at generating passwords that are very difficult to hack. If you have an iPhone or an Android, it also syncs with these smart phones, too. It is a one-time charge of $40, and it is completely worth the price in terms of providing you and your mom safety online. There is a 30 day free trial if you want to give it a spin before purchasing it.

There are other programs that are similar to 1Password, although I do not have experience with them. SplashID, RoboForm, and KeePass are usually the best reviewed of the alternatives.

Secure password manager programs are a safe and excellent way to store usernames and passwords — certainly better than writing them down and much more convenient than trying to keep everything stored in your head. Even if someone hacks your computer, they’re likely not going to get into your secure password manager since you’ll be able to create a very difficult password for the program since it will be the only password you have to memorize.

Thank you, Nutro, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.

Posted by Erin on Aug 12, 2011 | 36 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: An out-of-control hobby stash

Reader Craner submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Help! I am a wood hoarder (a subtype of the “I’ll use this ___ someday” saver). I have a woodworking shop that is at least 25% wood storage. This is not that unusual — google “woodworking hoarder” — but even worse than many of them the wood scraps I have such trouble disposing of are mostly cheap pine, not even cabinet grade hardwoods. I even keep partial sheets of sheetrock that I am very unlikely to ever use. I am getting better at not adding to the stock, but still have a lot of trouble throwing anything other than _really_ distressed/split/tiny scraps.
Any ideas welcome…

For a few moments, I thought I might be reading an email from my husband. Like you, he has a difficult time letting go of scraps of wood after completing a project. Then, I wondered if you were one of my knitting friends who had substituted the word “wood” for “yarn.” I actually looked at your email address a few times to make sure you weren’t. Your problem, you see, is quite common and not just specific to woodworkers but all hobbyists.

The first thing to do is to set some ground rules:

Only buy wood when you actually need it. (It sounds like you’re doing this, but it’s worth mentioning again.) Don’t buy it thinking, “I’m sure I could find a use for this one day.” Have a specific plan in mind when you acquire it.
Don’t have more wood than you could possibly use in the next six months. Since trees are a renewable resource, you can always buy more if you need it.
Be realistic. Don’t keep anything you can’t possibly imagine using. If a situation arises where you could need it, you’re resourceful enough to find another solution — you are a creative woodworker, after all.
Tape off a specific area of floor space with blue painter’s tape that you wish to dedicate to wood, and then don’t have stashed wood beyond this perimeter. The visual reminder can help you make decisions as to if you should keep or purge a scrap.

Next, sort through your stash and get rid of anything you know you won’t use and that doesn’t meet the guidelines you set. If pieces you wish to purge are in good condition, this wood can probably find a home at your local middle school or high school’s industrial arts and/or theater departments. My schools were always looking for scraps for students to use for practicing. If your schools don’t need them, check with your local community theater and community center. Our community center has a woodworking studio that is open to the public a few days a week, and they take donations. (This community center has saved us thousands of dollars, I should mention. Whenever my husband starts talking about buying new equipment, I remind him that our community center already has an industrial one he can use. All communities should have woodworking studios.) I keep recommending theaters because they’re always strapped for cash and set building isn’t cheap.

Also, don’t be shy about asking your woodworking friends if they want to take items from your stash. I did this when I stopped knitting, and it has been fun to see my friends turn my old yarn into sweaters. Had I kept the yarn, it would still be in skeins instead of helping to keep others warm. You’ll enjoy seeing what your friends make with your wood pieces.

Thank you, Craner, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Aug 5, 2011 | 25 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How do you move past a fear of regret when purging clutter?

Reader Oh My (I’m thinking that’s not a real name) submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I believe that the biggest obstacle to decluttering my life is the fear of regret. I have so much junk that I’m afraid to get rid of because I think it will be useful or valuable, and I am sure that once it’s gone I will immediately think of a use for it, or — in the case of collectible items that can be resold — discover I could have gotten more money out of it if I’d sold it someplace else. (As I’m between jobs right now, any loss of potential income really bothers me.)

My question is, how do I deal with regret? Most people seem able to accept that what’s done is done and move on with their lives, but mistakes I’ve made in the past haunt me for years and I don’t know how to get over them. Do you have any advice?

The best advice I’ve been given about regret is to ask myself the following questions before getting rid of an item:

What is the worst that can happen?
How would I behave if I were not afraid?
Would I buy it again if my home burned down?

The first question allows you to play through every possible horrible scenario. Nine times out of 10, the worst that can happen isn’t actually horrible. A common response is that you might have to borrow a similar item from a friend, which is a little inconvenient but not horrible. Obviously, if your life might be at risk if you got rid of something (like heart medication or a cane that helps you walk), don’t get rid of that item.

The second question gets you thinking about how you will respond to even the horrible scenarios. You can figure out how you would deal with these events if you weren’t afraid of regret or making a mistake. Once you know how Fearless You would behave, Fearful You can feel comfortable behaving in the same way.

The third question keeps your perspective in check. If you wouldn’t pay money for the item now, you likely wouldn’t regret getting rid of something. However, if you would spend money to repurchase the handmade quilt your grandmother made you, it’s probably best not to get rid of that quilt. I’d certainly pay money to repurchase my laptop, so it’s not something I would purge. However, I wouldn’t buy an empty yogurt tub if it didn’t have yogurt in it, so into the recycling bin that yogurt tub will go when I’m finished eating the yogurt in it.

Once you know the answers to these questions, you can feel comfortable getting rid of an item if that is the right course of action for that item.

A good rule of thumb is to take care of the things that matter to you (the possessions that you’re using and/or that you treasure, like that handmade quilt) and to get rid of the things that don’t matter to you. Owning things require space for storage, as well as money and time to maintain and manage those items. The fewer things you own, the fewer things you have to clean and store and keep track of and worry about protecting.

If these three questions aren’t helpful for you and fear continues to paralyze you from taking action, I recommend talking with a licensed medical professional about your anxiety. Getting rid of clutter should feel liberating, not debilitating, and a psychologist can help you if there is more going on than just dealing with your stuff.

Thank you, Oh My, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more advice from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Jul 29, 2011 | 41 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Preparing for a major life change

Reader Sarah submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My husband and I are hoping to adopt a newborn. We could therefore be in a position of bringing home a newborn with very short notice. On the other hand, we could be waiting years. Some people I’ve talked to in a support group have said that they set up full nurseries, but that doesn’t feel right to us. We want to be prepared, but we don’t want to keep a lot of baby stuff to make us sad that we’re still waiting. Do you have any advice for figuring out and balancing what baby stuff we should get in order to avoid panic if we get the call, but without having stuff around that would end up as physical and emotional clutter until the baby comes? Thanks.

Initially, this question might seem like its answer will only apply to people in your very specific situation. This is not the case. When anticipating any life change, we all go through something similar. We want to look forward to the event (graduating college, starting a new job, having a biological child, getting married), but we also don’t want to be consumed by it. We don’t want the “one day” stuff to clutter up the present, but we also want to be properly prepared.

When we were in your exact situation, we did not set up the nursery. Even after we were notified we had been chosen and we had his delivery date on the calendar, we did not set up the nursery. It wasn’t until after we brought our son home that his nursery was assembled.

For one of our many state-mandated house visits for our home study, we had to show we had a place for our son to sleep and basic supplies for him. We showed our social worker what we had purchased, and all of it was being stored at the back of our bedroom closet. We had a Pack ‘N Play with a bassinet attachment (still in the box), a set of sheets for the Pack ‘N Play (we washed them and had them stored in a shoe box), a stroller (also in its box), a baby carrier a friend loaned us, a six pack of BPA-free bottles (still in plastic), and a diaper bag (but no diapers or wipes). That is all. State law required we buy the car seat within 24 hours of picking up our son, the box had to be unopened, and the receipt had to be taped to the box. So, obviously, we didn’t have a car seat, though we would have had one if the state would have allowed us to. Since we didn’t know at the time if our child would be a boy or a girl, how large the child would be, or if he/she had any dietary restrictions or allergies, we didn’t have clothes, diapers, or formula.

When we picked up our son, he actually came with some clothes, diapers, wipes, and formula. He also had a blanket, a stuffed animal, a quilted book, and a photo album. As we were walking to the car, my husband remarked that he was unaware children came with so much stuff. Even people who have biological children will comment that they didn’t realize they would be leaving the hospital with so many things in addition to their kid, but everyone does. Manufacturers of all-things baby and different charities give tons of stuff to hospitals every year that are passed along to new parents.

We have no regrets about not setting up a nursery. That being said, if there comes a point when you really want to make up the nursery, go for it. There isn’t a right or wrong way. You do what is best for you. It took us two and a half years from when we started the adoption process to when our son was home, and I can’t imagine walking past a decorated room that entire time. (People who have biological children don’t typically set up a nursery before they’re pregnant, so I don’t think our decision was all that odd.) For other adopting parents, though, a decorated room is a source of hope and excitement. It’s what works for them, and that is great for them. You do whatever you have to do to keep your sanity through the waiting period.

I offer the same advice to anyone eagerly anticipating a life change — do what is best for YOU and helps YOU to keep your sanity while you wait. If the stuff associated with the big change is a distraction (as it was to us), keep it out of the way or don’t have it at all. There will always be a way to get it when you need it. Besides, if your adoption ends up being from out-of-state, you’ll have to spend at least two weeks in that state before being able to travel home. You can always order everything you’ll need while you’re hanging out in the hotel (best yet, get a room in an extended-stay hotel, you’ll want the dishwasher and refrigerator) and all of the nursery stuff will be delivered by the time you get home.

If you feel like you should do something while you wait, I recommend reading books on parenting and child development. Ask your friends and family members with children what authors they like, and read those works. I’m a fan of the Love and Logic series, the Healthy Sleep Habits books, and Laura Berk’s child development texts. You won’t have much time to read once the little one arrives, so check out the books now. Plus, reading a bunch of different books on parenting styles will give you an idea of what type of parent you want to be. Another thing you can do while you wait is interview pediatricians in your area. We did this and it was nice to be able to sit and talk with the doctors about their styles of treatment without the pressure of “we need a doctor right now” hanging over us. The first time we took our son to the doctor, we already felt comfortable with his doctor and knew all about her experiences working with adopted children.

Thank you, Sarah, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope I helped you in some way, and good luck to you and your husband on your adoption.

Posted by Erin on Jul 15, 2011 | 45 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Not displaying family photographs

Reader Mary submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My parents divorced when I was quite young, and little evidence of their past relationship remains in our lives. Being the most sentimental of the three kids, I am in possession what is, to my knowledge, the only remaining wedding photograph, a framed 8×10 that has been sitting at the back of my closet for years.

I am now in the process of permanently cleaning my possessions out of my childhood home, and I feel like it would be weird to display this framed photograph in my new home, since I am basically the only person left on the planet who feels sentimental about this long-since-ended marriage.

In addition, I live with a partner who does not have the same sense of sentimentality as I do, who does not tend to favor displaying family photographs in the home (an uncluttered philosophy I generally support), and who in fact has never met one of the parents in the picture.

Do you have any suggestions for what to do with this framed photograph that nobody but me wants to look at, but I could definitely not get rid of? I suppose I could digitize it, but then what? I don’t know if I could bring myself to throw out the original. One more consideration is that it’s not a very high-quality photograph, so it wouldn’t even really be that attractive to display–its value is purely (but extremely) sentimental.

I’d start by removing the image from the frame and having it digitally scanned. I wouldn’t have it scanned for the purpose of getting rid of the original, but rather so you have a copy of it in case your home is ever destroyed in a disaster (fire, flood, tornado, etc.). Upload the file to a secure and private online account (like you can do with Flickr), so if you ever need to make a copy you can easily do it.

As far as the original is concerned, I’m greatly in favor of keeping it. Being an unclutterer doesn’t mean your home has to be void of any personal or sentimental objects, it just means you’ve chosen not to let these items overwhelm your space and distract you from pursuing the life of your dreams. One photograph of your parents’ wedding day is unlikely a distraction.

The frame seems to be a little bulky, though, and unnecessary if you don’t want to hang the image on your wall. (Heck, even if your parents were still together, I doubt you’d be hanging up their wedding portrait.) I recommend heading to your local camera store and talking with an employee about all of your image preservation options.

For the print photographs I have decided to keep (in addition to their digital backups), I have them stored in an archival quality, acid-free, photo storage box. Also, because I’m a believer that if I’m going to keep something I’m going to care for it as best as I possibly can, I got a pair of darkroom photography gloves to handle the images. The employee at your local camera store might have more options, so definitely find out what she suggests, too.

Thank you, Mary, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check the comments for even more suggestions from our readers.

Posted by Erin on Jul 8, 2011 | 35 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Prioritizing family, education, and career

Reader Viktoria submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My question has to do with the fact that my top priority (my husband and son) fight over me with my top necessity (finishing my dissertation [by December]). I believe this is a situation that most of us go through at some point of our lives, but we have run out of solutions, and still, it is not working out.

So this is the situation: my husband is at work most of the day, and I am at home with our 10-month old son. My husband arrives home just in time to walk the dogs, to give the baby a bath to have at least SOME time with him, and to help to put him to sleep. And then, when we could finally have some time together, there is my unfinished dissertation … This is where the dilemma sets in: I either try to have a decent quality time with my man and feel guilty for not writing, or — vice versa, writing and feeling very sorry for not being able to spend the little time we have together.

I tried to work when the baby sleeps during the day, but was very tired and then realized it is much wiser to catch up on my own sleep. In my effort to deal with this, I have given up on ironing, anything that is not on the super-priority list … and yet, my life is just a mixture of frustration, fatigue and occasional passing moments of victory when my mom comes over and babysits for two or three hours, or during weekends, when my two men have a couple of hours together. They both enjoy it, but toward the end of such a day our little one is definitely in need of me and no one else.

And as such, would you be willing to give us some of your insights on how to prioritize what is already prioritized, but not handled?

I’m usually fairly confident in the advice I give in this column. Today … not so much. Viktoria, it’s probably best if you take the following advice as merely one suggestion of many that you should consider. It is far from being law. This is simply what I would do (and have done) in a very similar situation.

The first thing you need to do is identify what you are going to do with your dissertation when you earn it. Are you going to go into academia or the corporate world and use it? If so, when are you going to start networking and going to conferences and doing all that you need to do to get into the job market? You’ll have to work just as hard to get a job (resume writing, interviewing, research, etc.) as you did on your dissertation — the job of your dreams isn’t going to land in your lap the second you defend your dissertation. You should be working now with your adviser to schedule when you will officially go into the job market so that you don’t finish your dissertation too late or too early for the hiring period associated with your concentration. If you don’t have plans to go into the job market in the next 12 months, why are you worried about your dissertation now?

If you plan to stay home with your child until he goes off to school, get permission to delay your dissertation until the time around when you will go onto the job market. Simply put, you will not be able to finish your dissertation while being the primary care giver for your child and living a life with your family as your top priority. I’m speaking from experience here, it’s unbearably stressful. I’ve had to delay my second book until my son started preschool because it’s impossible to focus on anything other than him when I’m the one caring for him. The second your son starts walking and running around your house, and when your son moves down to just one nap a day, you’ll have even less time to focus on your dissertation than you do now. Why make your life a living ball of stress if you don’t have to? Focus your attention instead on the little bundle of joy who will only be a baby/toddler/little boy once and your husband when you’re together.

If you don’t plan to stay home with your son until he starts school, the only way to finish your dissertation now is to hire a nanny to care for your son while your husband is at work. You are not a superwoman. There are only 24 hours in a day and you only have so much energy and attention to give. Bring in someone to watch your child while you work. (And, yes, writing a dissertation IS work.) If you were off working in an office and your husband were home working on his dissertation, would anyone question him getting a nanny for your son? No. And no one will question you doing it. So, if you want to go through with the dissertation right now, your son needs a nanny.

I’ll also ask the question … do you ever plan to use your dissertation? If the answer is no, strongly consider resigning from the program. Accept your Everything But Dissertation and be on your way. My mom did exactly that and was able to determine that she ended up making more money over the course of her career as a result. I also stopped after my master’s degree because I realized getting my doctorate wouldn’t improve my salary or my chances of success. However, I wasn’t going into academia, I was going into writing … which doesn’t even require a high school diploma … so even the master’s degree is complete overkill … which means take what I just said with a giant grain of salt (or even a mound of giant grains of salt).

Again, this is not law, but this is how I see things. You have three choices — delay the dissertation for a few years until you’re ready to go on the job market and can devote your full attention to it, get a nanny and finish the dissertation by December, or stop pursuing your dissertation completely if it won’t help your career. I hope I helped, but mostly I just hope I didn’t muddle the waters even more.

Thank you, Viktoria, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Please check the comments for more suggestions. If all goes well, one of us might have the perfect answer for you.

Posted by Erin on Jul 1, 2011 | 60 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: How can I disguise workout equipment?

Reader Cindi submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

My question for the day is how do people incorporate the big exercise equipment into their homes? I am thinking of a treadmill. I have thought of getting some decorative screens and walling it off when not is use. It is currently in the family room, which has multiple personalities — home office, tv room, and gym. I’d love to know your thoughts and ideas, as well as other reader’s suggestions.

I must admit, I am truly stumped by what to do with exercise equipment in the absence of a dedicated workout room. Treadmills are so difficult to incorporate into a room that serves other purposes.

Screens scream, “THERE IS A TREADMILL BEHIND HERE!” In bedrooms, treadmills become dirty clothes hampers. And, in television rooms they’re always in the way.

If you didn’t already own a treadmill (and you had a lot of money), I’d suggest you check out the XFit. It’s a workout room in an armoire. A brilliant idea that I wish weren’t so expensive.

This is one of those times when I think it best to let our readers give you the advice. Someone has to have a solution. (Please, someone have a solution!) I have always been at a loss for what to suggest for disguising workout equipment. So readers, please give Cindi a hand and offer up your suggestions in the comments. I’ll also be reading to see what everyone has to say because I need the advice as much as Cindi.

Thank you, Cindi, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. And, sincerely, I hope someone has better advice for you than I do on this topic.

Posted by Erin on Jun 24, 2011 | 52 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Help! My boyfriend moved in and now his stuff is everywhere!

Reader J submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

Boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for two decades and he moved in for good a few weeks ago. I’ve lived comfortably, and in fairly organized fashion, in 1000 square feet for years and years, and now his stuff is EVERYWHERE. I read over ALL of your articles on merging households, working with partners, gauging levels of clutter control, etc., but we both seem stuck in a tower of terrifying stacked boxes so completely overwhelming that even getting to the kitchen is problematic.

Due to outside demands–we both work full-time, and we both have families in need–we’ve only been able to give a couple of hours per day to this albatross of a project, and it devolved into him suggesting I just throw out a bunch of my stuff. I don’t want “his” and “mine” to dominate the conversation, but, honestly, where do we start? Clothing is everywhere, the closets are full, and he has four thousand CDs, five bass guitars, three computers … you get the idea.

Where would you start, short of calling A&E and volunteering to be on Hoarders? We just need a workable starting point and we both realize that Molly Maids can’t solve our organizational problems.

Thanks if you can answer this; if not, I’m calling in for outside reinforcements!!! Be well, and keep writing–I love this website.

For starters, thank you for loving this website. It’s really nice to hear.

From the way you describe it, I see three steps that will immediately help to reduce your stress:

Have a date night. Between your home stress, your family stress, and your job stress, the two of you need a night of relaxation. Make a reservation at your favorite place, put on some fancy clothes, and go out on the town with each other. Don’t talk about the apartment or any of the things that are causing you frustration. Just breathe and be reminded of why you love each other and are joining your lives and your stuff.
Call a professional organizer. The two of you are bright people who could work this out on your own — but you don’t need to. Hire an organizer to meet with you for a few hours on a Saturday morning to give you some suggestions for merging your stuff. Having an independent third party to give guidance is almost always a good idea, and organizers do this type of consulting all the time. If you were sick, you’d go to a doctor, so why not seek the help of a professional organizer when you could really use one? Check out the National Association of Professional Organizers or Angie’s List to find a well-respected professional organizer near you.
Start with your biggest frustration. Walk through your apartment with your boyfriend, don’t have a conversation, just let your eyes get a real look at the situation. Once you’ve gone through every room, examined every cabinet, and inspected under the bed, sit down and talk with each other about what one thing bugged you the most. Was it that your clothes are no longer in the closet? Was it that you can’t sit down at the dining table? Was it the giant stack of boxes right by the front door? Let him voice his biggest frustration, too. Those two areas need to be handled first, before any other projects in the apartment. Work together to find a lasting solution, try to keep from yelling (touching each other in a caring way repeatedly on the arm or hand while you’re working can help keep your tone and volume in check), and commit to getting just those two areas in order. Once they’re in order, your stress level will greatly improve, making the remainder of the work in front of you more manageable.

Right now, you probably feel like he’s trying to cram his stuff into your apartment. He probably feels like you’re not making room for him in your apartment. It’s a tough situation, and that is why I think a night out to relax and remember why you’re moving in together is so important. Heck, take many nights out on the town to remember why you’re together if you have to! Your relationship and your feelings for each other are far more important than battles over CDs, clothes, and computers.

Thank you, J, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I have faith that you’ll get through this without any long-term repercussions.

Posted by Erin on Jun 17, 2011 | 27 Comments | Tweet This

Ask Unclutterer: Gift bag storage

Reader J submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

We just purchased our first home and we are in the process of organizing everything. One thing that I have no idea how to handle is my large collection of gift bags, gift boxes, ribbons, bows, etc. I had them shoved into plastic bins at the bottom of our guest room closet at the old house, but the bags stick out everywhere, and items jump out of the boxes every time I try to retrieve something, and generally make the entire process of gift wrapping a pain. I need to get to these bags a few times a year for birthdays and holidays.

One of the more creative solutions I’ve seen is a dedicated filing cabinet drawer for storing wrapping supplies. Gift bags were kept upright, like file folders, and so were the flat gift boxes. Spools of ribbon were threaded through a bar that had been cut out of a hanging file folder, and were suspended across the drawer. Bows were stored in a few hanging file pockets, organized by type. Finally, magnetic strips had been attached to the backs of a pair of scissors and a tape dispenser, and these items were suspended from the side of the file drawer. Until the drawer was opened, I had no idea what was contained inside of it.

There are also storage totes made especially for gift bags and boxes. Once you move the bags and boxes into their new storage solution, it might be easier to contain the remaining bows and ribbons in the bins you already have.

You could also hang all the gift bags by their handles from an open ended pants hanger. The bags would take up some space in a closet, but this solution would again free up room in your current storage bins so you could better organize the other items.

Thank you, J, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Definitely check the comments for additional ideas from our readers. My hope is that one of us will be able to find you a perfect solution.

Posted by Erin on Jun 10, 2011 | 34 Comments | Tweet This

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