Unitasker Wednesday: Rollie Eggmaster

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Back in April, I watched Stephen Colbert satirize the Rollie Eggmaster on his program. (That link to Colbert’s show may not be appropriate for all viewers, especially if you’re averse to pooping chickens. If you’re not averse to pooping chickens and have a few minutes to laugh, it’s classic Colbert.) After I stopped snickering, I knew I had to introduce our audience to the amazing, wonderful, unitasker-riffic Rollie Eggmaster:

Irrespective of if you watched the Colbert piece or not, the Rollie has an infomercial that is worth viewing in its entirety. The people cooking in the beginning of the ad have clearly NEVER cooked before, and then half-way through the whole ad derails with all sorts of ridiculous suggestions for where and how to use the Rollie Eggmaster:

But wait, there’s more! The Rollie Eggmaster now comes in multiple colors:

You can buy one for each season and to match the decor in every room of your house! They’re only $40 a piece.

Wow. Just wow. Thank you, Stephen Colbert and Rollie Eggmaster for giving us all such a hearty laugh.

18 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Rollie Eggmaster”

  1. posted by Jacki Hollywood Brown on

    I can ONLY see this being useful if it plugged into the 12V outlet on the horse trailer and you could get grease-free eggs for breakfast at the horse show. (The chip wagons only serve greasy crap). Also, because you can eat it without cutlery or a plate you still have a free hand to walk your horse to the show ring.

  2. posted by Amanda on

    The rollie is actually compatible with a converter to make it work in the car!

  3. posted by Julie Bestry on

    Would you lose all respect for me if I told you I would probably use something like this? I despise cooking and probably don’t eat a hot meal at home (as opposed to restaurants) except in the coldest months, and even then, nothing more complex than boiling water. I’d have loved something like this when I was in a dorm, and I’d almost be inclined to get this. I won’t, but it’s tempting.

  4. posted by Joe on

    Where can you actually watch these ads other than on YouTube? Here in Germany I usually find these in supermarkets, next to some obviously overpriced unitasker that seems bulky and/or hard to clean. Plus, the songs drive you mad if you hear them a second or third time. I always wonder who would buy something that aggressively advertised, if the product was that good I should have heard about it otherwise.

  5. posted by Marie on

    Egg on a stick! I am rolling, here.

    Here they are touting the ease of using this thing, then they immediately show you all kinds of fancy ways to add fillings? In yer dreams, I’m sure! Also, if someone can’t break an egg over a frying pan, what makes them think they can break an egg over that little hole without dribbling everywhere? Egg fail! At least they offer clean up tools because I’d hate to have to pick bits of egg out of the crevices and bristles. Oh, wait..

  6. Profile photo of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Joe — You may be able to watch it on the specialized ad site for the product: http://www.getrollie.com/

  7. posted by purpleBee on

    @Julie B
    A small rice cooker would be much more useful. It would cook rice, pasta, eggs, soup, scrambled egg, etc, etc

  8. posted by Maya on

    I thought the Shake Weight infomercial was bad, It’s worse than the shake weight commercial because you eat it.

  9. posted by Liz E. on

    You know my favorite part? The person at the beginning couldn’t correctly crack an egg in a skillet (what, maybe an 8″ or so?) but can perfectly drop an egg in a 2″ opening of the Eggmaster.

    Thanks for the good laugh as usual, Erin. :D

  10. posted by WilliamB on

    Liz E., that was my thought exactly. My other thought was “Who knew there was a viable cooking career for highly incompetent cooks?”

  11. posted by Joe on

    A rice cooker is indeed some multitasker. I had a time when I used mine a lot, having a really small kitchen back then.

    @Erin Any consumer should realise that this type of commercial is stupid, so I wonder where they find potential buyers. Obviously they do, and I doubt people surf these websites directly. In the supermarket, displays showing ads make me leave that section, I wish there was a TVBeGone for these ;-)

  12. posted by Marie on

    Most likely this sort of gadget is bought by well-meaning aunts and sisters to be given as a gift.

  13. posted by Joe on

    Nice, that means the buyers won’t experience the flaws and keep buying. :-)

  14. posted by Hydra on

    How in the world do you clean that thing? dreadful!

  15. posted by Erin C. on

    OMG just found this site and boy does it speak to my minimalist disdain for the unnecessary!

    @ Joe, my partner (a marketing major, go figure) is the perfect bait for these gimmicky AsSeenOnTV products & their ridiculous infomercials. I have to keep kitchen inventory under lock and key to prevent the drawers from filling with new-fangled gadgets we’ll rarely or never use.

    Who’s brainchild IS THIS?? I especially love how the woman in the Rollie video can’t effectively fry an egg wthout jabbing it to bits and leaves the shells laying all over the burner. She needs a Xanax and not a Rollie.

  16. posted by jessica on

    My 6 year old can crack an egg into a bowl, beat it, and with a step stool, cook it on a cast iron skillet. She can even flip it and keep it in the skillet. The only part I have to do is turn the gas burner on (I don’t want her to do that part yet). So, if a 6 year old can cook an egg…

    You’d be better off with an egg cooker that hard boils them in the shell with steam. I loved mine when I had it, but when I figured out I could hard boil eggs in the rice cooker, I give my egg cooker away.

  17. posted by Sarah on

    This was so hilarious, thank you so much! The $39.99 price shocked me and, when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I was blown away by the suggested idea of using it at work. I cannot imagine myself sitting in my cubical, talking with a customer, and making myself a rollie at the same time. Great mental picture. :)

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