Unitasker Wednesday: Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Whenever I sit down to have some fruit or vegetables, my first thought is often, “I bet these nutritious foods would taste better if they were thinly cut and curly.” Because, let’s all be honest with ourselves, curly foods just taste better. If it’s a choice between a carrot that can be dipped into hummus or ranch dressing and a thinly cut, curly mound of carrot shavings — you want the carrot that is decorative! Those of us who are willing to admit our desire for curly fruits and vegetables, we thankfully now have the Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device to make it all possible:

And the Amazon reviews really sell it:

Do not buy!

Is not functional product …

A little flimsy, have to be careful not to break it

That last quote, by the way, is from the only 4 star “positive” review of the device.

Seriously, if you really do desire vegetable garnishes, let me recommend a sturdy, quality product that will take up less space in your kitchen drawers and you can use it on any non-mushy fruit and vegetable (unlike the item above, which would crush most everything besides tubers) — the Julienne Peeler by Kuhn Rikon. It’s also extremely simple to clean and is what professional cooks use in restaurant kitchens. I’m not sure why you would need one at home, but if you do, please leave the plastic doodad off your shopping list and go with a functional, useful version instead.

Thanks go to reader Kerrie for sharing the Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device with us. (Even its name is unnecessarily long and cluttered!) It is genuinely a unitasker.

7 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device”

  1. posted by Melissa on

    This truly looks like a piece of sh*t, but similar products have a revered place in the kitchens of people who eat a raw vegan diet. I’ve often seen these spiralizers used to turn vegetables into ‘spaghetti’.

  2. posted by Leslie on

    We use a shredding tool in cooking class to create spirals like these. It takes a lot of practice that we wouldn’t need if there were working tools like these. I could see the value for food that requires a certain look for presentation or as @Melissa says, to turn veggies into spaghetti, but for the avg household? Probably not.

  3. posted by Cathy Severson on

    I have a couple of friends that have every single device to “simplify” life in the kitchen. Of course, they can’t find anything, but that’s a whole other issue. Anyway, I appreciate the heads up. I’ve be eyeballing the Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device for quite some time now (tongue ‘n cheek) and now I can comfortably mark it off my list. Thank you.

  4. posted by cynthia on

    I actually bought a “carrot sharpener” (that’s what I call it, it’s just like a pencil sharpener but carrot sized) on a lark from a discount store for $3. My kids (11 years) are enjoying it a lot, but it is, at base, pretty stupid. At least it is much more robust than this thing appears to be.

  5. posted by Andy Chow on

    Great unitasker. I don’t know who looks at these types of products and goes “I could really use that”.

  6. posted by Mel on

    Oh no!!! I have one if these. I bought it during a phase when I was trying to make veges more exciting for my kids. I can confirm that it is a useless piece of junk that doesn’t even work. My carrots never looked like the picture, instead they got jammed in the bottom of the thing & I spent ages trying to get it out. Useless rubbish, I admit I was sucked in & now I feel plain stupid!! It’s going where it belongs now, in the bin. How embarrassing!!

  7. posted by metai on

    While this item might not achieve the desired effect, I would not agree with the sarcasm about “curly vegetables tasting so much better”. Food texture matters. And if you really break it down, most kitchen utensils, even the most basic ones, are “unitaskers”.

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