Unitasker Wednesday: Baby Butt Fan

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Sadly, I have deleted the email from the reader who sent this week’s unitasker selection to us and cannot give proper credit to him or her. However, that individual is due ample credit for leading us to the Baby Butt Fan:

New parents are so often the target of excessive product marketing. But, as any parent who has raised a child from infancy can tell you, so many of those products are unnecessary. And, as is the case of the Baby Butt Fan, the products are often more hassle than they are worth.

I’m confused by the product makers who believe new parents can’t figure out how to fan their child’s rump with a clean diaper or use a dry cloth to wipe her down. Because, let’s be honest, if a new parent can’t figure out one of those two tricks I highly doubt they would be able to keep charged batteries in this device and have it with them every time they change their child’s diaper.

Thanks, again, to whomever it was who led us to this very special unitasker.

19 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Baby Butt Fan”

  1. posted by Val on

    This is hilarious! My son had terrible rashes as a child, and required multiple creams. We also had what we called, “baby bare bum time”, which was the best cure ever. I can’t imagine standing there and trying to fan his bum!

  2. posted by Don on

    I honestly have come to think that about 10% of the products being sold in the child care arena have resulted in this sort of conversation back at the HQ where the product was created.

    “Jane! Have you seen the sales numbers? Our novelty [baby butt fan or whatever] has taken off. Amazon must have loved the pitch. I can’t wait to see this in the “humor” section. We’re going to be the best gag gift people get at their baby showers!”

    “Actually Jim, Amazon says they’re listing it in their baby section. Their buyers think it’s brilliant and they’re going to do a mailing to the top tier of diaper cream buyers.”

    “…. what?”

    “They think it’s a serious product.”

    “…. what?”

    “Yeah.”

    “But Jane…. it’s a fan. Our concept demo was a hand fan we bought at the dollar store plus some spray paint and a label. What kind of moro-”

    “Jim, they ordered 100,000 units with rights for a priority fulfillment option for another 200,000 if it takes off.”

    “… I need to go write a different instruction booklet and ask Hayden to redo the box art. Meet me in my office in thirty minutes and bring your thesaurus, we need to come up with some less silly ways to say “swampass” and “stinky fart butt.””

  3. posted by priest's wife (@byzcathwife) on

    I have 4 kids- WHY have I not thought of some silly device that new parents think they need….the college funds are empty

  4. posted by Debra on

    First off, Val is right. Bare bottom time is the best cure for diaper rash (if not for keeping your bedspread or carpet clean).

    Second off. You need to wash your hands after changing a diaper. You know why? Germs! So why would you take your germy hands and pick up another thing and then hold it and transfer those germs to it?

  5. posted by Nana on

    Another with four kids…raised ‘em all (fairly) successfully, even without the benefit of Stuff like this. Honestly — what will they think of next.

  6. posted by Kate on

    And clearly those “personal cooling fans” from the dollar store would not work at all for this purpose.

  7. posted by Jenn on

    I used to fan my daughter’s bottom with a new diaper. She loved it! I don’t know if it was the breeze or watching the diaper go back and forth but that would often get the best laughs of the day.

  8. posted by Laughing on

    The first thing that came to mind was when my grandmother ended up with a yeast infection in her…well..you know… The doctor’s specific orders were to blow it dry with a hair dryer on low setting. I don’t think this justifies this product, but it could be used on older “bums” if needed! I certainly wouldn’t have used it on my two girls.

  9. posted by Lizzie on

    Was anyone else hoping that it was going to be a fan in the shape of a baby’s butt?

  10. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Jordi — That’s why I couldn’t find it — it was in my twitter feed not my inbox. Thank you for the recommendation!!!

  11. posted by Christine on

    DAMN… because I’m in Australia I can’t get this item shipped directly to me. My life is destroyed! I can’t have a baby butt fan!

    Wait… I don’t have kids.

  12. posted by Mary on

    I will admit that we used to use a personal fan on our daughters bottom to get it dry fast before we would put diaper cream on her. But we definitely used the dollar store version!

  13. posted by Anon on

    Our doctor recommended using a hairdryer on a no-heat setting for our daughter, who had severe diaper rashes. We use cloth diapers so butt paste was not an option (and even when we switched temporarily to disposables just to have access to the creams it didn’t help the rash). I would have LOVED to have something like this for my daughter.

    Disclaimer: This would be for my 4th daughter – for my older three, it would have been laughable, but for my youngest, her specific rash/condition would totally justify this.

  14. posted by Molly on

    Just makes me think about those people in the gym changing rooms who try to dry their parts with the hairdryers. Apparently it’s even more of an issue in the men’s room. Then you have to use them after…

  15. posted by Tim on

    This just might be the greatest unitasker item ever!

  16. posted by Christy, The Simple Homemaker on

    Ha haaaa! I so want one…no, I want SEVEN! One for each of my seven kids, because, seriously you can’t reuse a baby butt fan on one child after using it on a previous butt. Nothing with the word “butt” in it can be used for more than one person. Genius. Pure genius!

    ;)

  17. posted by Patty@homemakersdaily.com on

    That is hysterical! New parents are definitely overwhelmed with a bunch of stuff they don’t need!

  18. posted by Dagny on

    Throw in the TweetPee http://www.huggiestweetpee.com.br/ and you have reached the epiphany of meaningless

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