Unitasker Wednesday: Cheese Curler

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

When I turned 21, I started straightening my hair. I’m sure I started doing it because I had been brainwashed into believing that curls were unprofessional or curls made me look younger or some other such nonsense. Irrespective of the misguided reason, it wasn’t until two months ago I stopped to think about how much time (and money) over almost two decades I had wasted making my locks look like straw. I will never get back all that time in the chair at the hair salon and that time in front of the bathroom mirror at home — wasted, wasted time.

I know I can’t do anything about the past, but I have chosen to stop cluttering up my time straightening my hair in the future. And so, for eight weeks now, I’ve been transitioning back into a curly girl. (For a visual: Processed hair 2010 Erin, and naturally curly 1991 Erin.) Uncluttering one’s hair of straightening chemicals and products is not an overnight event, and so I have been thinking quite a bit about curly hair during this transition. I’m so excited to have my curly hair return!

As regular readers of the site also know, my thoughts are often obsessed with cheese. So, as someone who can’t stop thinking about curly hair or cheese, I was unbelievably excited when I received an email last week with “Cheese Curler” as the subject line from reader ALH. Cheese! And curls! And thought-congruence brilliance!

Except, the Cheese Curler was not brilliant. The Cheese Curler was unitaskery:

First, this thing does not curl cheese, it waves cheese. The product should have been named the Cheese Waver.

Second, this device to make wavy cheese only works on cheese that is shaped like a cylinder.

Third, this device only waves hard cheese.

Fourth, this device only waves hard, cylindrical cheese that has the exact circumference of this device or smaller. A giant wheel of parmesan is not working with this doodad.

Fifth, except for the inventor of this device, has anyone anywhere ever thought, “You know, waves would make this cheese more enjoyable”??? Maybe, but I’m doubting those numbers are incredibly high.

I think the lessons this so-called “Cheese Curler” can teach us are that cheese is good, curly hair is good, but a cheese curler is a genuine unitasker.

25 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Cheese Curler”

  1. posted by Leslie on

    Indeed, I will not be running out to buy this item (why waste time waving cheese when you can just eat it?). But the picture does make me want to run out and eat cheese. Then again, it doesn’t take much to make me want to eat cheese.

  2. posted by Carol on

    But the description says it also curls chocolate! I always wondered what people do with the large cylinders of chocolate I see everywhere.

  3. posted by Jason on

    We lived in France for awhile and actually have one of these. They are made for “Monks Head” Cheese.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C3%AAte_de_Moine

    I have agreed with ever other thing you have posted here but this one is more of a cultural item in our minds and is used to serve this specific type of cheese as it was designed to be served back in 1292.

    Love your site. Because this thing has been around for Eight centuries this is probably the oldest Unitasker you have posted.

    Eating these thin cut flowers of cheese are a true delight. Try it if you get the chance.

  4. posted by Andy Chow on

    Supposedly it makes Tête de Moine cheese taste better. Supposedly. It does make the cheese look tasty, and presentation is half the taste of a meal. BTW the proper name for this device is a girolle. I personally think it’s just another way French people have found to make money from people with too much money and not enough taste.

  5. posted by Jeannette on

    Congratulations on returning to your curly roots, Erin. You’ll probably be amazed at how much you like it. I went through the same thing in my teens and twenties, and was lucky I didn’t lose my hair altogether.
    You will absolutely amaze your friends.
    First it will be, “Did you get a perm? How much does it cost?”
    And then, “You mean it just comes out of your head like that?”
    Have fun!!

  6. posted by Miriam on

    In Switzerland is also normal. The cheese is delighfull. I agree with Jason. It’s a cultural aspect.
    Sorry for my English.

  7. posted by TatiLie on

    Well done, Jason.
    The Tête de Moine does taste amazing. As does Parma Ham and lardo when cut really thin.

  8. posted by johnnychicago on

    Tête de moine is actuallly a very strong cheese – very overpowering if eaten in slices more substantial than girolle shavings. Definitely a must have item for the cheese lover.

    But then, on can drink one’s chateau Rothschild out of a water glass too, I guess ;-)

  9. posted by Fairfax Avenue on

    Welcome back curls! You are going to look great!!

    Four of my daughters went naturally from straight to wavy hair in their teens. One revels in her long curls, one bundles it into a bun and the other two smash it down under scarves and wigs. Each to her own! (Youngest daughter has her own texture, different completely from her sisters and we will see what the future brings.)

  10. posted by Gena on

    Erin, your curls circa ’91 were gorgeous! I’m a curly girl myself and have been blowing my bangs out straight for years. I finally decided to stop last May and haven’t looked back. Having a good cut makes all the difference in the world. And yes, not having to keep all that straightening stuff around (Oh, the irony!) will help keep things tidy. I look forward to your next photo with curly locks again.

  11. posted by ChrisD on

    It is a unitasker, but if you buy the cheese, a useful one. All cheese tastes better in fine sections (sometimes I use a potato peeler) and this is something you can have and use on the table (i.e. that looks nice).
    Note that the central spike dismantles and the thing can be stored flat.

  12. posted by Mieko on

    It does make pretty cheese!
    My hair is naturally wavy, and I have found that good hair product makes a big difference. Looking at your old picture, you might need some. :) I really like the leave-in hair conditioning oils with argan/moroccoan oil in them. I’ve been using the salon brand, but just tried an off-brand today with good results.

  13. posted by ChrisD on

    I probably should add that I’m defending this because I’m Swiss, but in fact nobody I know has one or uses one, except my mother when she was given one together with the cheese. We finished the cheese and packed it away. But we are visiting Switzerland tomorrow, so maybe we should grab some cheese for the Christmas breakfast table.

  14. posted by Rae on

    If you love tête de moine cheese as much as my family does, then you need one of these. I think that there are at least three circulating among my extended family.

    I like to fill my curled cheese with sweet pepper jam.

  15. posted by Wendy on

    Erin, Have you read Curly Girl, the book? Excellent resource for curlies =)

  16. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Wendy — I read Curly Girl before making my decision to stop straightening. I’m using the transitioning system from Carol’s Daughter right now with an olive oil and beeswax treatment. In two weeks, I’m switching completely over to Oyin http://www.oyinhandmade.com/

    @Gena — Just cut off a foot of my hair so I can grow out my bangs without looking too weird in the process. I’m done with doing them, too!

  17. posted by Kevin on

    Yes, this is, somewhat unfortunately, absolutely necessary for eating Tête de Moine (Monk’s Head). It’s a cultural thing. And it’s a very lovely cheese indeed.

  18. posted by Joan Troyer on

    Wow from hair to cheese nice transition :)

  19. posted by Janet on

    Erin, stick with the curls.

    I fought my curly hair for years because my kind of wavy/curly was never in style. Last year I went to a new hair stylist that used one of those straightening irons to achieve the look I had been chasing all of my life.

    And I didn’t like the way it looked on me! I realized that I have a curly face.

  20. posted by Linda on

    I think I have figured out the whole unitasker thing: These are invented to be purchased by frantic buyers in the last days before a major holiday. They are pseudo-unique and allow people to check off another person on their overlong shopping list.
    Here’s to thoughtfully buying our loved ones memorable experiences instead.

  21. posted by JustGail on

    I just have to laugh on this one – not because of the cheese curler, but because of the hair. I have stubbornly straight hair, and spent years perming it to get curls. I finally got tired of the frizzed dried out results and occasional chemical burns. Same for the coloring – I got tired of touchups. I still wish it had a bit of curl and was lighter color, but am at peace with it finally.

  22. posted by Sara on

    This is so funny, this is exactly the unitasker ive been needing for the past year! we came back from France with a large round of tate de moine cheese, not realizing you needed this unitasker to eat it!! We tried knives and other cheese slicers, but none get it as thin as you need to eat it. So our cheese sits sadly in the fridge until I break down and buy one.

  23. posted by LE on

    Just wanted to chime in on the curls, from another “curly girl” in DC. Finding a stylist who has been trained in the Deva Curl method (the method developed by the woman who wrote the Curly Girl book) made a MAJOR difference in my ability to make my curly hair look good. I was using curly hair products from Bumble and Bumble before, but having a cut that accentuated and encouraged the curl made all the difference. There are a lot of these stylists in the DC area.

  24. posted by My Inner French Girl on

    I think that that’s just one more thing that will get between me and the cheese I want to eat. Now.

    On a related note, I bought my first straightening iron about a year ago after a misguided visit to the hair salon for a “low-maintenance cut.” Low-maintenance, my ass. Before, I only ever had to wash my hair at night, let it air dry, and then sleep. The next morning, voila! I had nice, soft, wavy hair.

    After that haircut, though, I actually needed a straightening iron, one of those round brushes, a product to protect my hair from blow-drying, AND a product to protect my hair from the iron. Seriously. No more quick air-dry hair — my hair now took 45 minutes to “finish” each morning. I had no clue what I was doing and stood staring at the bewildering choices of irons at Target for a good 90 minutes until I settled on one solely because it was the middle-priced of the bunch. (I figured, hey, the cheapies probably aren’t any good and the most expensive ones are probably overpriced and underdeliver.)

    I then had to go on YouTube to find a video to help me figure out how to use the darn thing. Did I mention that I was about to turn 40?

    One great thing about hair: it grows out. I’m back to my naturally wavy, air-dry-able hair.

    Salut,
    Marjorie

  25. posted by DebF on

    Just saw this – which is, at this stage, only an idea, but might be a nice complement to the above??

    http://jezebel.com/5984768/mee.....hink-it-is

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