Unitasker Wednesday: Teatool Teabag Squeezer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I have clouded memories of this unitasker being part of a nightmare I had once. If I remember correctly, some crazy bad guy was trying to use it to remove my eye or my fingernail or some other body party I wished to keep. I definitely wouldn’t have been high-tailing it around the halls of a high school (a common nightmare backdrop for those of us who went to high school) had the evil doer simply wanted to squeeze a wet tea bag with it. Talk about overkill! The Teatool Teabag Squeezer appears to be more tool of pain than a beverage assistant:

We have featured a tea bag squeezer as a unitasker before on the site, but in comparison to this one, it was downright dainty. Certainly non-threatening. This thing is a tool of destruction, not something you would bring with you to afternoon tea with the Queen. Egads!

Thanks to reader Laura for finding this terrifying unitasker for us.

21 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Teatool Teabag Squeezer”

  1. posted by Dusty @ Wine Logic on

    Nice! It almost looks like a torture device!

  2. posted by Roxanne on

    An easier method is to use a spoon: place the wet tea bag on the spoon and wrap the string around it to squeeze out the excess water. I learned this from my coworker and think it’s brilliant. No burned fingers, and no unitasker required!

  3. posted by priest's wife (@byzcathwife) on

    I use about 8 tea bags a day (mostly herb)- I scoop up the bag with a spoon and squeeze out excess tea with a fork…easy and free!!!

  4. posted by writing all the time on

    Lordy. What a waste of engineering, petroleum products, and infomercial time.

    I’m an avid tea drinker. Growing up in Texas, where ice tea is the beverage of choice at breakfast, lunch and dinner, I still wouldn’t need/want/find appealing this thingy. And yes, it’s ‘ice’ not ‘iced’.

    Fingers, spoon and fork, leaving the darn bag in the cup, all make more sense to me than the Tea Bag Squeezer.

  5. posted by Debra on

    That also looks likely to tear the bag and dump the tea leaves into your cup of tea. Roxanne’s solution is not only easier but I believe the “correct” solution.

  6. Profile photo of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    Did any of you see Toy Story? The more I look at this, the more I keep thinking, “The CLAW! The CLAW!”

  7. posted by Shalin on

    The Claw indeed!

    @writing all the time
    >>Lordy. What a waste of engineering, petroleum products, and infomercial time.

    AGREED!

    I have several teabag squeezers my Mom/Dad gave me – they’re called fingers!

  8. posted by N'Lo on

    Ha! It looks like an inelegant version of my childhood obsession unitasker of the polite germophobic tea/cocktail society – the ice cube/sugar cube grabber claw I was, and remain, OBSESSED with at my grandparents’ place. Also, have you all seen today’s viral hilarity re: the Williams-Sonoma catalog? Plenty of unitaskers taken down with as many F-bombs! I don’t think I can post a link per rules, but google you some deadspin dot com + Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog! Fair warning, hilarity ensues.

  9. posted by Celeste on

    The CLAW is also in “Liar, Liar”.

  10. posted by Henave on

    If it had a telescoping handle, it would make an excellent trash picker-upper or pooper scooper.

  11. posted by sue on

    Didn’t Arnold S. use this in “Total Recall” to remove the tracking device in his head?

  12. posted by Laurence on

    I am doubly uninterested by this item : I don’t like squeezing bags as it gets extra bitterness in, and nobody heard of waiting a second over the cup so the drops subside before throwing it out?

  13. posted by lyle Jokela on

    Of course, nobody bothered to read the actual product discription before casting this ENGINEERING MARVEL into the pits of UNITASKER HELL. They are FOOLS! Now read this:”THE TEATOOL IS the PERFECT kitchen gadget FOR TEA LOVERS! If you still haven’t mastered on how to use a teaspoon appropriately when squeezing your teabags, this handy device will help you out with no burnt fingers or mess involved. Simply grab your fresh teabag by pulling the Teatool handle up to release the claws. Dunk it into your mug of hot water, then squeeze out the soggy teabag by pushing on the handle! No mess, no fuss.An ideal tea gift for men or women, why not twin it with one of our novelty mugs? The Teatool makes an ideal Christmas stocking fillers, Secret Santa, Birthday or Father’s Day gift.”= Now do you get the picture?

  14. posted by eccoyle on

    what?! That is terrifying!

  15. posted by James @ Free in Ten Years on

    That thing is amazing. I find myself oddly attracted to most Unitasker Wednesday products. Shame on me.

  16. posted by squibby on

    Hmmm, it looks like one of those mini icking up doodads for nails, bolts and nuts that’s been ‘repurposed’. Perhaps the bolt picker upper sales weren’t too good recently.

  17. posted by Linda on

    I second the comment by Laurence. Squeezing out the last drops of tea into your cup only adds a bitter flavor.

  18. posted by JustGail on

    Soooo according to the instructions, you put the tea bag in *before* steeping? Making it even harder for the tea leaves to expand and release their goodness? I’ve read a few tea brewing hints, and besides using more tea for stronger flavor instead of steeping longer (bitterness results), one thing mentioned is don’t crowd the tea leaves – loose leaf is best of all.

    I’ve used the string around the spoon method when in public, but at home by myself I use the greatest multitasker of all – my fingers.

  19. posted by Laura on

    Ha! I’m so happy that you chose my unitasker suggestion this week! I will keep looking for new ones then! :)

  20. posted by Rally on

    If you go to the Amazon link, you’ll realize there are at least 17 different squeezers out there. Most are like tongs, which makes the claw unique, plus the one squeezer that looks like a device used to pull teeth out, or something http:

    //www.amazon.com/Kuchenprofi-Stainless-Steel-Tea-Squeezer/dp/B000KLX83A/ref=pd_sim_sbs_k_8

  21. posted by Markus on

    I love the Tèo tea spoon from Lucy.D, that’s a perfect design: http://www.designaustria.at/po.....gezeichnet

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