Unitasker Wednesday: Magical Ostrich Pillow

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Most weeks, I feel inspired by the unitasker to write something funny about it. This week, words escape me. Words may not even be necessary. I think all the Magical Ostrich Pillow needs are pictures, as they speak a thousand words:

Thanks to reader Amie for introducing us to this, um, special unitasker.

50 comments posted

  1. Posted by Luis Fernando - 10/31/2012

    ABSOLUTELY AWESOME. Must have one.

  2. Posted by Amy - 10/31/2012

    I think if a person actually bought this and actually put it on, they’d never be able to take it off – out of sheer embarrassment!

  3. Posted by Rebecca - 10/31/2012

    I love how in most the photos the model isn’t even leaning on the pillow. An eyemask would be as functional and not take up all your hand luggage

  4. Posted by ninakk - 10/31/2012

    Imagine walking into a colleague’s office when they are napping inside one of those. I’m not quite sure what I would say let alone do. Walk away? Knock on the door? Cough? Clap my hands loudly? Tiptoe up to them to pinch them or yell into the “ear tubes” maybe? Hmm.

  5. Posted by Luis Fernando - 10/31/2012

    I figure that those are not “ear tubes”, as they are too high up. They are probably just openings for head scratching and stuff.

    And yes, never to be used in public places. Airport security would probably be called.

  6. Posted by Debra - 10/31/2012

    This makes me think of that Friends episode where Monica puts her head inside a turkey.

  7. Posted by Joanne - 10/31/2012

    Wow these are really for sale on EBay!

  8. Posted by Dusty @ Wine Logic - 10/31/2012

    This is way too funny!

  9. Posted by Colin 't Hart - 10/31/2012

    Methinks this would acqually be kind of nice to wear on a plane, can’t stand the tight elastic bands on an eyemask, only I’d like to have my ears completely covered too — just a hole for the nose is enough!

  10. Posted by Galen - 10/31/2012

    I like the idea of the things that look like ear holes – they are in fact totally separate holes to tuck your hands into (so the head piece is actually totally enclosed apart from nose/mouth breathing gap) because I can’t sleep unless my hands are completely covered.

    Great idea, but looks too too ridiculous.

  11. Posted by Brittany - 10/31/2012

    If I saw someone at the airport or on the train (as the description states this is good for) I would be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

  12. Posted by Heidi - 10/31/2012

    I know you said it needs no words, but you really should read the product description on Amazon. I might need to buy it now! ;)

  13. Posted by Sydney Wood - 10/31/2012

    If this project comes up in KickStarter ….. I am in!

  14. Posted by Robin - 10/31/2012

    Based on when I used to have a two hour commute on the bus, I can almost see the functionality of this. I spent hours inventing things in my head that would help me get more comfortable. This might work but since I’d be too embarrassed to ever put it on, it wouldn’t work at all!

  15. Posted by Robin - 10/31/2012

    @Sydney, it IS on kickstarter!

    http://www.kickstarter.com/pro.....ich-pillow

  16. Posted by Monique in TX - 10/31/2012

    As someone with mild claustrophobia and who hates to have my head confined in any way, I can’t imagine anything that would allow me to rest LESS. Not to mention the low-O2 headache I’d be sure to get if I slept in this thing face down. No, thanks.

  17. Posted by Dede - 10/31/2012

    Imagine the hat hair/bed head disaster that would follow if one used this at work. Not to mention the potential makeup mess.
    My first impression was that it had Dr Who Halloween Costume written all over it, and I don’t know why.

  18. Posted by Mopsa - 10/31/2012

    o.O I’m still laughing!

  19. Posted by Ola - 10/31/2012

    If you choose the table position is breathing possible?

  20. Posted by Mopsa - 10/31/2012

    Still laughing.

  21. Posted by Michelle - 10/31/2012

    When you need a nap, and you just don’t care anymore.

  22. Posted by Mopsa - 10/31/2012

    Ah ah ah ah ah!

  23. Posted by Gypsy Packer - 10/31/2012

    I could see this as a really warm, comfortable item for extreme camping, especially for Sandy survivors who are living without heat and utilities.
    I would have adored a couple of these during the Blizzard of 1993, when I owned a brand new central heating system which was useless without electricity. It would have been a winner during my time living in a truck camper.

  24. Posted by Liz E. - 10/31/2012

    “I look so cool in my Magical Ostrich Pillow!!” — said no one ever.

    This made my day :)

  25. Posted by NettyM - 10/31/2012

    Really this could be very useful for people with special needs, especially autism. Yes, it’s ridiculous to look at but it would provide a good amount of dampening of sensory input such as sound and light, while still allowing for fresh air.

    I might use something like this for migraines. Because at a certain point, you don’t care what you look like and just want relief!

  26. Posted by MT - 10/31/2012

    Actually it makes a lot of sense to me after reading the Kickstarter blurb – it was designed by a small firm of architects – who are constitutionally sleep-deprived. I’ve known (back in the day when I was one) lots of creative solutions to getting a nap when you’ve done one too many all-nighters. :) In short – it looks weird, but if you’re massively sleep deprived, and in an environment with others who are massively sleep deprived, hey – it’s not so weird after all.

  27. Posted by Marie - 10/31/2012

    Oh dear! It’s an Ood from Dr. Who! Maybe for next halloween.

    But seriously, this is fascinating. I have been trying to do this for years with my pillows, every night.

  28. Posted by Henave - 10/31/2012

    Yes, I too was thinking it was an Ood from Doctor Who!

  29. Posted by squibby - 10/31/2012

    Ahh, but it isn’t just for sleeping. It also helps kidnappers who don’t have a cellar to keep their victims sensory deprived.
    And it’d be useful for drunken headbutting games or as boxers headgear.

    Seriously, you’d have to be very trusting to wear this, and not live with a practical joker or ambush tickler.

  30. Posted by Emily - 10/31/2012

    Sure, it looks silly, but I don’t really mind looking silly. I think this would make for a very comfy nap if all you had is a chair and a table – but I can’t think of I time when I would be in that situation and also not be too afraid of someone sneaking up on me. I think I’ll stick to napping at home in my bed, with my normal pillow

  31. Posted by Jodi - 10/31/2012

    Maybe it would help drown out the sounds of a snoring spouse??

  32. Posted by Nana - 10/31/2012

    However, if you wore this on an air flight [after covering the earholes, of course], you’d have the extra benefit of seatmates who wouldn’t even THINK of trying to start a conversation with you.

  33. Posted by Another Deb - 10/31/2012

    And then I could hook up my CPAP mask with the hose and chin strap and my husband would not even come into the room at all….
    Seriously, it looks like someone is wearing a Thneed on their heads (cue the Lorax music)

  34. Posted by Another Deb - 10/31/2012

    Ah, now I realize what it reminds me of, a tapeworm scolex.

    http://visualsunlimited.photos.....2zwgqSYN6A

  35. Posted by James @ Free in Ten Years - 11/01/2012

    I seriously want one of those.

  36. Posted by Anna - 11/01/2012

    Oh, people — you’re all wrong. It’s for your pet ostrich!

  37. Posted by Shalin - 11/01/2012

    Magical…because it makes even the most fetching of users instantly look like a weirdo! presto-chango! :-P

  38. Posted by Dinah Gray - 11/01/2012

    I can see how an introvert my like one of these. To me though, wearing one on the VRE (commuter train to Washington, DC) is the perfect way to get your train ticket stolen (a frequent happening). Or, if you take the metro, a good way to get mugged.

  39. Posted by Monique in TX - 11/01/2012

    Tapeworm scolex! Yes!

  40. Posted by Jeanne Thelwell - 11/01/2012

    This isn’t really a unitasker, anymore than any pillow is a unitasker. It’s just very silly looking. On the other hand, in the days when I was traveling by plane and train and spending a lot of hours sleep-deprived, I don’t think I would have cared how stupid it looked, if it helped me get some sleep!

  41. Posted by Kate - 11/01/2012

    I’m with Monique! Except I wouldn’t say my claustrophobia is mild. Moderate perhaps? All I know is, just LOOKING at the pictures of the guy in this thing had my breathing starting to go all raggedy from anxiety.

    Too much like Buried Alive Light for me!

  42. Posted by Laetitia in Australia - 11/01/2012

    It’s late spring here. The birds are up at 4:30am. Apart from the fact that it would probably be too hot to sleep in, and therefore self defeating, I can see the use at this time of year. After all, to get the same effect with other items, one needs an eye mask and ear plugs (if you don’t have problems sleeping with ear plugs in).

  43. Posted by Lyle Jokela - 11/01/2012

    They say that they post these Unitaskers as a joke. They are FOOLS! The Ostridge Pillow is the REAL DEAL. The Ostrich predates Homo Sapiens by how many years? Hundreds of thousands? Many more? If you have any HOPE for the CONTINUATION of HUMANITY get one of these suckers and USE IT!!!!!

  44. Posted by Helene Segura - 11/01/2012

    You should’ve posted some kind of warning like, “Do not view this post while consuming liquids.” I almost sprayed my computer! Hilarious!

  45. Posted by Elizabeth - 11/02/2012

    Is it an Ood? Is it a Thneed? Is it Mr Bean not coping with Christmas? Is it a tapeworm scolex? No… it is “the best present for your lover and friend…” (thanks Heidi for the comments about the Amazon review)

  46. Posted by Leslie - 11/02/2012

    So instead of bed head, my hair would have “ostrich head”?

  47. Posted by Rachel - 11/02/2012

    I have to agree with NettyM: It could be just the thing for migraines. Not only would you not care what you looked like, you certainly wouldn’t care if something is a unitasker, if it helped isolate your splitting head against sound and light. At home you can crawl under the covers in a dark room, but if you suffer a migraine at, say, an airport… This would be a lifesaver!

    Not that I’d really carry one around for that purpose. But if I had more frequent migraines and I found this helped, I just might.

  48. Posted by Edith - 11/03/2012

    ¡¡ It wants a couple of slots for a phone and sound system & possibly a one-can drink cooler. Just the thing for the flight from Newark to Narita :-0 !!

  49. Posted by Jessiejack - 11/03/2012

    thank you so much for a much needed laugh!

  50. Posted by Hairin - 12/03/2012

    The ostrich MUST cover the eyes in order to ride you, so it’s a must-buy for ostrich owners to have a cool head gear while riding the neighbourhood

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