Unitasker Wednesday: Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kit

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

For the past couple months, the advertisements that appear in the far right column of my Facebook page have been full of unitaskers. I’m not sure what it is about my profile that has changed that now suggests I want to buy unitaskers, but I have clearly become the target market for vast quantities of trinkets and doodads.

One of the items Facebook really wants me to buy is the Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kit:

Now, if I were a professional baker who made dozens of 10″ or 11″ round layered cakes a day, I can see how something like this might be useful. Since I’m not a professional baker, though, it falls into the category of Misdirected Marketing.

First off, how many 10″ or 11″ round cakes might the average non-professional baker make in a year? And, what if I want to make a 9″ round layered cake or a 12″ round layered cake or — and now I’m getting crazy — a rectangle layered cake? Would I have to buy separate Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kits at $60 a pop for those, too? How else could I possibly cut those cakes?

Well, I know the answer: I would put the cake on a lazy susan, use a serrated knife, hold the knife relatively still at the preferred height, and move the cake in a circle and across the knife. (Just like this woman does in this YouTube video.) This method has worked great for me ever since I learned to bake and decorate cakes. Also, even if the layer is a little crooked, it doesn’t matter — because it’s cake! Cake is gladly devoured by friends and family irrespective of how perfectly cut the layers are! I know this is true because during a power outage this year, I decorated my son’s birthday cake in the dark, and the layers were uneven and the whole cake was a little lumpy, and everyone at the party still gobbled down the cake. No one refused to eat the cake because it wasn’t perfect. Why? Because crooked cake tastes just as good as perfectly level cake.

Mmmmmmm … cake …

16 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kit”

  1. posted by Shalin on

    “Also, even if the layer is a little crooked, it doesn’t matter — because it’s cake!”

    Totally agree! I have friends ask me how I make my homemade chocolates – I tell them a couple basics steps and to have fun…you can’t go wrong because it’s chocolate!

    This product is like training wheels for aspiring bakers…or an aid for those who have a physical coordination affliction – then again they may not want take up a big knife in the first place if it’s pretty bad…

    –S

  2. posted by guest on

    ohh..it is a unitasker and I would agree but have you checked out the bottomless “need” pit called pinterest? I am sure someone will buy this. Because maybe one day they will get around to make a 10 inch layered cake. and decorate it.

  3. posted by Dusty on

    This is one of those products that will appeal to some people and they will buy it and use it immediately and then never touch it again. I must admit to having bought products that I do that with but nothing this bad! Haha, I still can’t believe I own egg cups.

  4. posted by BA on

    The reason that you have been receiving those ads is that fb has been tracking your online searches. So when you visited a unitasker page a few times (to write for your Unitasker piece), then your profile is associated with those and you start getting customized ads. For example, although I have not indicated anything about my profession in my profile, when I check fb while I am researching for my work, for a while I keep getting ads related with my work.

  5. posted by Jasi on

    I’m not sure I can draw a straight circle with a pen but if my children aren’t running around my legs or the pots aren’t boiling over, I can probably manage a pretty straight cake cut. At least one that could be perfected with copious frosting adjustments. This is a definite unitasker unless you own a cake shop… in which case you could probably slice a cake straight with your eyes shut. Though that’s not recommended. lol

  6. posted by marie on

    That is SO true!!!

  7. posted by Celeste on

    I saw this trick on Martha Stewart a long time ago. Just use unflavored dental floss to cut the layers.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Cut-a-Cake-Layer-in-Half

  8. posted by Anita on

    Wow, talk about ridiculous and pointless! I enjoy the esthetics of cake (usually in between bites) but I have never, ever been put off by uneven layers.

    Also: if you are going to be OCD about the thickness and evenness of your layers, isn’t there a doodad that looks like a saw with floss or steel wire instead of a blade, that you can set at your desired height, and then cut through any shape and size of cake?

  9. posted by VeritySa on

    Good job on your son’s cake! :-) Very fun picture,

  10. posted by Carla on

    I suggest Adblock Plus plugin for Firefox. Then, you will have no more ads to clutter up your Facebook page, or any other webpage! It is amazing!

  11. posted by Jo on

    Oh, ya?? And what about my 10″ bagels? Huh? How will I cut those without this? And what about those poor people whose knives are SO DULL that instead of cutting into the cake which is sitting on the lazy susan, it pushes it off, onto the floor! This will act as a good protective layer to ensure that… okay, I’m out of ideas.

  12. posted by ChrisD on

    Yes my grandmother showed me that you should just cut a shallow groove all round the cake with a knife and then use a piece of sewing thread and tighten it, to cut all the way through, good for any size and shape cake, and the thread takes up less room in the kitchen (zero room if you keep it with your sewing stuff).

  13. posted by Cathie on

    Honestly? I admit to a touch of OCD (my husband would say more than a touch) and I would LOVE to have this. I just don’t want to store it anywhere……..

  14. posted by Anna on

    Other uses:

    1. Take apart the gizmo that holds the rings together and use them to learn juggling…

    2. …or to make wind chimes (after testing for musical quality).

    3. Good base for princess crown for a little girl (change the decorations as often as you like).

    4. Hang in the garden to scare away the birds.

    5. Make extra-thin slices of pineapple, cantaloupe, roast beef? (Ha! not a unitasker any more.)

  15. posted by JC on

    I have one of those doodads that looks like saw for cutting cake layers that Anite mentioned. I use it fequently and it stores lying flat in the bottom of the drawer that holds my specialty decorating/baking items (frosting bags/tips, cookie cutters etc.) It works with ice cream as well. When I make multilayered cakes now that my children are older, I usually don’t bother with fancy decorations. I pour a bit of glaze/ganache over the top and wrap a strip of fancy paper underlined with parchment around the cake sides and tie it with a ribbon. It’s a lot faster and far less messy. I don’t really care for much frosting so that is also a bonus for me, not so much those who love frosting.

  16. posted by klutzgrrl on

    Love the ganache/parchment idea JC, I’ll remember that next time I want something to look nice!

    If I bake it usually doesn’t last long enough to even get frosting. Frosting is too much sugar anyway. I used to bake bread a lot, and the kids would hear it beep ‘finished’ and be standing by as it came out of the baker.

    Facebook is king of misdirected marketing. I keep getting shoe adverts for foot-torturing monstrosities. It can’t seem to parse out the relevant descriptors (like ‘ski’ and ‘hiking’ as opposed to ‘toe-crippling bunion-inducing fashion confectionery’)

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