All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
About five years ago, Disney began airing a show called Mickey Mouse Clubhouse featuring the classic Disney characters. It’s a computer animated cartoon that plays a They Might Be Giants song at the end of every episode called “Hot Dog.” If you’re unfamiliar with the diddy, you can hear it and watch the video on the Disney Junior website.
Did you listen to it? It’s super annoying, right? And INCREDIBLY infectious. No need to thank me for getting that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
Anyway, I mention the “Hot Dog” song, because it instantly pops into my head whenever I think about this week’s unitasker selection — the Hot Dog Dicer:
Once again, a tool to do what knives do! Knives you already own! What do people have against using knives? I’m so confused by the knife-alternative industry.
Also, did you watch the video that accompanies the link to the product? Such scare tactics! The whole advertisement is about how your kid could die choking on a hot dog. Maybe, and this is just little ol’ me musing, if you’re so afraid of your kid choking on a food, learn how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver? That safety move can work in all choking situations, not just hot-dog choking situations. Or, possibly, just don’t feed your child hot dogs until you know he or she can safely chew his food? Recent scientific studies are suggesting toddlers shouldn’t be eating hot dogs, anyway. They’re full of nitrites and nitrates, which increase the risk of cancer. Why is that not mentioned in the Commercial of DOOM?
Okay, back to happier thoughts … “hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!”
Want to see even more hot dog unitaskers? Check out the Hot Dog Roller and, one of my all-time favorites, the Hot Dog Pop-Up Cooker. Finally, if you do feel the need to buy one of these Hot Dog Dicers, you can store it in your drawer right next to your Banana Slicer. They can be twins!
Thanks to all the readers who sent us this week’s selection.