Unitasker Wednesday: Salt and pepper shaker holder

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Salt and pepper shakers — irrespective of shape or style — are high utility multitasking objects. They store the spices and they also dispense the spices. In most climates, you can leave them out on the table full time and not have to worry about them unless they run low on spices. Then, you fill them back up, and back onto the table the salt and pepper shakers go, ready to meet all your salt and pepper needs.

So, you can imagine my confusion by this week’s unitasker selection. It’s a device that holds your salt and pepper shakers, but doesn’t hold salt or pepper or dispense salt or pepper — it’s for the shakers only. The Salt and Pepper Shaker Holder:

This particular salt and pepper shaker holder is in the shape of a bass, but your choices are not limited to aquatic animals. You could get a moose or a boot spur or a mallard or a gun slinging armadillo or a deer wearing a hunting vest if you so desired. (Okay, I’m going to say it, there is something really unsettling about a deer in a hunting vest and camouflage.)

Unless you live on a houseboat and your home is constantly rocking from side-to-side, I cannot think of a need for a salt and pepper shaker holder. And, these holders can’t be screwed into a wall or table top, so they wouldn’t even be that helpful on a rocking houseboat. I also see utility in larger condiment caddies that make for easy transport for outdoor dining or even storing an array of condiments between meals in the refrigerator. But a holder just for salt and pepper shakers? I don’t get it.

20 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Salt and pepper shaker holder”

  1. posted by Jean on

    I love the fish one! They remind me of my gramma’s salt and pepper collection, which took up one entire china cabinet.

    And her nephew’s wife’s collection, which was throughout the entire house, including the bathrooms.

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    posted by chacha1 on

    homg those are hideous.

  3. posted by Brittany on

    Oh, these are just silly! It’s amazing what kind of things people will buy. “It’s a holder for my spice holders! I NEED IT!!”

  4. posted by ninakk on

    As useless as any vase or piece of wall art.

  5. posted by Antoinette on

    When i was little we used to have a bear holding 2 fish that were salt and pepper shakers. somehow they became bath toys and my brother sat on 1 of the fish one day – not very nice getting china fish in your butt :)

  6. posted by ET on

    These are just so creepy to me. Can you imagine that fish on your kitchen table. Yuk! I guess maybe a fishing enthusist or a moose hunter would like them?

  7. posted by Cindy on

    I can see them as just a decorative item, if that kind of thing fit your decor. (Hey, whatever. Different strokes.) And they would help keep the salt & pepper shakers together on the table, I guess. But I don’t understand the fish’s wide open mouth. It looks like something should GO there. But what?

  8. posted by Mandy on

    Wow, you’re really stretching here. These are simply decorative items. Most (if not all) decorative items are unitaskers. True, they’re hideous but there’s no accounting for taste!

    Erin, if you’re running out of unitaskers to feature, perhaps retire the column instead of posting these sorts of things.

  9. posted by Teri on

    I agree with Mandy. Decorative items are just that… decorative. This albeit tacky item is no more a real unitasker than the potted plant on my table. I don’t think the manufacturer was trying to fill a utilitarian need, just make a funny knickknack.

  10. posted by leah on

    OMg, love! I really want a salt and pepper collection, just not prioritised to spend multiple lots of $25 up on something pretty yet. I swap out the napkins and tray on the table to celebrate stuff, would love some quirky salt n pepper shakers, these are very cool and would mean i didnt have to refill the shakers if i had ‘em!

  11. posted by eccoyle on

    Now if that was a singing bass… that would be a different story.

  12. posted by Maureen on

    I think they are just novelties. They might appeal to someone’s quirky sense of humour. They made me smile!

  13. posted by Vickie on

    Ditto the posters who see this as decorative and not necessarily a unitasker. Some people really dig kitch and I could easily picture these things in their homes.

    If you want to get technical, S&P shakers are unitaskers themselves. I mean, both already come in a container that are ‘serviceable’. We all put S&P in other containers because they look nicer and are easier to handle.

  14. posted by krystl on

    ditto the decoration comments.

    honestly–i don’t even use salt and pepper shakers on every table. we just don’t need them–we use the same ones i use cooking.

    i don’t judge those that do use those (to me) “duplicate” objects. one could argue: “worse” than a unitasker as you use the same salt from another container to salt your cooking.

    uncluttered to me doesn’t mean sterile environment. I have a candle holder on my table–not for eating, not for storing, a perfectly decorative unitasker–and perfect for me for mealtime. Is that also clutter?

  15. posted by Anna on

    If I had the wide-mouth bass S&P holder, I would also obtain the ubiquitous gurgling fish jug (surely we’ve all seen/heard it), look for other fishy decorative items (the kitschier the better), and be sure to serve fish frequently to as many people as possible, with all these fish swimming around the table or gasping for breath on its surface, just to give everyone a much-needed laugh in these serious times.

  16. posted by Henave on

    Besides being rather useless, they seem like they would be really hard to keep clean and they would be difficult to get the salt and pepper shakers out if you really needed them.

  17. posted by lisa on

    AAAGH! I’d be too afraid of that fish to even try to touch the salt shaker, so maybe it would be good for those worried about their sodium intake?!

  18. posted by leonie on

    I wondered if you could open a bottle with the fish given the shape and size of its mouth. For some reason it reminded me of novelty beer bottle openers….

  19. posted by Carol on

    I’m with the others. SOmethings are just decorative or whimsical. But if they bring joy just to have them to look at or laugh at then that is good. Not everything needs to be completely utilitarian.

  20. posted by Indiana Jones on

    As a seafood restaurateur, I would definitely use the fish salt and pepper holder on the tables as part of theme decorations.

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