Unitasker Wednesday: Pizza Plates

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

A few years ago, my husband and I got rid of all of our dining ware except for our Wedgwood White bone china. Our friends and family graciously gave us the set when we got married, and in more than 10 years we have only lost one bowl due to breakage (and that happened outside, on a brick patio). We use the china for every meal, including meals we serve to our two-year-old son. The stuff is incredibly versatile (tea with the Queen or holding chips and dip during the big game), goes into the microwave and dishwasher, and it has been in production for so long that replacing pieces is simple. I thought I might miss our every-day pottery, but I haven’t. It’s so nice to be able to use the good stuff all the time. Which, is very likely why, I don’t understand the need to own six triangular shaped plates with pictures of pepperoni pizza on them for the sole purpose of serving slices of restaurant-made pizza. Introducing, the Pizza Plates:

In addition to circular plates being qualified to support a triangular slice of pizza, circular plates can also hold square slices of pizza and entire small, personal pizzas. Circular plates can even support TWO slices of pizza. These triangular plates can’t hold two slices or personal pizzas or even one square slice. And what about jumbo slices or Chicago deep-dish style slices? (Jumbo slices, I think, are a DC style, if you don’t know what they are.) There is no way these plates would ever fit a jumbo slice or contain the innards of a Chicago deep-dish slice. Are there ones decorated for vegetarians without pepperoni slices or ones for people who like hamburger or pineapple for toppings? What about vegans who don’t eat cheese?!

Save space in your cupboards or pantry and stick with regular, circular plates that don’t care one bit what style of pizza you prefer to consume or even what food you prefer to consume in general. Circular plates are inclusive and open to all food eating experiences.

Other favorite pizza unitaskers you may remember: The Pizza Scissors/Spatula, triangular Pizza Saver plastic bags, and the highly specialized Double-Deck pizza oven.

Thanks to reader Jorge for introducing us to Pizza Plates.

21 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Pizza Plates”

  1. Profile photo of

    posted by RebeccaL on

    These plates are also missing space to pick off the toppings you don’t like, or to hold your Papa John’s garlic sauce. Fail!

  2. posted by Anita on

    Tsk. These would be great except they have olives on them. I don’t like olives. Ooh, do they make a pick-your-own-topping variety?

    :)

    Silly, silly things.

  3. posted by Katie J on

    Where will I put my ranch dressing?

  4. posted by Elizabeth on

    Additional problem: I keep my dishes in a rack above the sink – easy to leave to dry, easy to pick what’s needed. These segments won’t stack easily in a rack, requiring extra, valuable cupboard space and a pain to get out and put away.

  5. posted by Cynthia on

    I’d hate to admit it, but my boyfriend had these plates up until a few months ago. We were going through some of his cupboards and I noticed these plates. He decided to donate them, but that wasn’t before we had to convince his son that even though they are “fun” we could use regular plates to eat our pizza.

  6. posted by Laura on

    I can relate to all three comments above. :)

    I LOVE that you use your Wedgwood china for everyday. Unfortunately for me, my Wedgwood pattern (Rosedale) was retired shortly after I got married, so those dishes only come out once in a while.

    My Pfaltzgraff “everyday” dishes are getting very scarce, since I bought them 20 years ago and over the years we’ve broken so many. I’ve been thinking about investing in white Buffalo dishes.

    http://www.chefscatalog.com/pr.....rware.aspx

  7. posted by Pam on

    We got these plates as a wedding gift last year (with a bunch of other pizza-themed stuff). I immediately wanted to get rid of them or regift them, but my husband put up a fuss. Now they take up space in the closet. We’ve never actually used them. Ughh.

  8. posted by Christine on

    We have similar pizza plates. We received them as a wedding gift. At first, we thought they were a bit hokey, but now have gotten used to them. We always use them when we eat pizza (no problem with squeezing in space for dipping sauce and I also live in the DC metro area). We CAN squeeze two pieces onto a plate at a time if need be, but typically we try to grab one serving at a time because it’s a better habit. Now that we have kids, they look forward to using them. We have space for them so we keep them (otherwise, they would be outta’ here). And luckily, we have 3 kids so the odd 5 pizza plate gift works out for us.

    I am also in the process of using my fine china for everyday use as our regular dishes have slowly succombed to aging/kids/dishwasher/etc over time. Initially, I thought of getting Corelle when the kids were first learning to take their own dishes to the sink, but now I am just trying to get rid of my everyday dishes first before I start using the “fancy” ones.

  9. posted by Jane Allen on

    “Circular plates are inclusive and open to all food eating experiences.” Except soup and cereal. But who is keeping score …

  10. Profile photo of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Jane Allen — Ha! You’re right, plates don’t work so great with soup :)

  11. posted by Cara on

    Do you know about GreenBox? It’s the amazing multitasking pizza box. The lid is perforated and breaks into four square plates. The base is also perforated and you can fold it in half to make a storage box for the leftovers. I’m not affiliated, I just got a pizza in a GreenBox the other day and I was blown away.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQBjJjpkjl0

  12. posted by Zen friend on

    Over time, my wedding-present white Wedgewood has also become my daily china. Another classy basic that, like a well-made dress, can go more places than you’d think

    Pizza plates = Hawaiian print shirt = not at all practical, but great fun if that sort of thing makes you smile and you have the closet space.

  13. posted by catmom on

    I will pass on these. Cute, but like the other commenters, they would just take up space. My husband and I eat our pizza on regular plates the same ones we use for everything else. If we had good china, we’d eat pizza on those as well!

  14. posted by Christine in Australia on

    All I can see is the pizza falling off these things. You’d have to be very careful how you put the slice on the place, not to mention all the bits that ooze off the side.

    I have a set of the “unbreakable” Corelle plates for every day – my “good” china is a really nice antique set. They are indeed correct about the Corelle being “unbreakable” – what really happens is that it literally shatters into millions of tiny fragments that migrate all around the house.

  15. posted by Laetitia in Australia on

    I’m a bit perplexed – whatever happened to using one’s hands to hold the pizza as you eat it? Use the box to catch the stuff that falls off if you must.

  16. posted by Paige on

    Cara,

    Pizza boxes with grease on them canNOT be recycled. It will actually ruin an entire batch of recycled cardboard if one sneaks into the batch. The lids on pizza boxes can be recycled as long as they don’t have grease on them. The GreenBox is a bad idea because you would be adding grease to the box lid which could have been recycled if you had eaten on plates instead.

    Here is a link explaining this. http://earth911.com/news/2009/.....x-mystery/ For more info just google “are pizza boxes recyclable”.

  17. posted by Ginger on

    I use the same Franciscan Whitestone dishes that I had growing up. I bought additional pieces on Ebay which is a great source if you’re missing parts of your dinnerware set.

    I purchased some additional plain white soup/cereal bowls at Crate & Barrel.

    As for those pizza plates taking up space in the closet, I say just donate them and don’t say anything. Since they’ve never been used, I’m sure they won’t be missed.

  18. posted by Haira on

    We never need plate(s) to eat pizza, using one hand to eat and the other to support just in case bits fall off

  19. posted by SpecialK08 on

    and they’re not microwave safe

  20. posted by Rosemary on

    @Paige,

    I think it is great that you point out that some reclying systems can’t take greasy cardboard. However, the take home message is actually to check your local reclycling arrangements.

    Our recycling centre actually specifically mentions used pizza boxes as something that can be recycled. It all depends on the contracts / arrangements that your local centre has.

  21. posted by Paige on

    Rosemary,

    Pizza boxes, or any cardboard, stained with grease canNOT be recycled. If your recycling center accepts it that means they probably seperate the greasy cardboard from the uncontaminated cardboard before it goes to the next step. It would be better to go ahead and seperate it yourself before sending it to the recycle center because you run the risk of an undetected greasy box ruining a whole batch of cardboard recycling, doing more harm than good.

    If you’ve found a method that recycles greasy cardboard please provide a link to the info. That would be a wonderful breakthrough and I would gladly stand corrected.

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