Clear the clutter, build a fort
Pillows, blankets, stacks of books, and dining room chairs are currently the decorations of choice in our living room. My son is going through a fort building stage and we’re lucky we’ve been able to contain it to the living room. If he had his druthers, we would also have fort kitchen, fort bathroom, fort laundry room, and fort front yard.
I loved building forts as a kid, and I am very glad my son has an interest in it, too. My son’s favorite part of fort building is knocking down sections of the fort to do renovation work. A room might have been too small or maybe it had a window he didn’t like or the roof was too saggy. Once the room is down, he declares it to be broken and then begins the rebuilding process. After a room is finished, the whole family is invited to visit the new space, where we discuss the renovation and how it is preferable to its earlier condition and then play drums and harmonicas or pretend to take naps (fort construction is hard work).
My son’s obsession with forts has reminded me how truly simple it can be to pursue the life you desire. My son likes building forts, so he builds forts. He doesn’t talk about building forts or wish he were building forts or make excuses for why he can’t build forts, he simply builds forts. When he is tired of fort building, he will play with trains because he wants to play with trains or whatever interest is next on his agenda. Unless I tell him he can’t do something because it’s unsafe (like building a fort inside the stove), he’ll do whatever it is he wants to do.
Unlike toddlers, as we grow older and mature, we take on more responsibilities, allow unwanted things to come into our life, and living the life of our dreams becomes more difficult. We are easily distracted by things that don’t really matter to us. We also let doubts and worry and negative messages invade our brains so that we stop doing the things we really want to do. Clutter comes in and prevents us from building forts (or whatever it is you enjoy doing).
I’m not suggesting it’s bad that you are responsible for the people and things in your life. Those of us who aren’t insanely wealthy have to work to pay bills and provide for ourselves and our families. Rather, I’m suggesting you get rid of all of the stuff that doesn’t matter. Get rid of the clutter (extraneous physical stuff, negative thoughts, bad relationships, commitments that don’t interest you) so you can have time, energy, and resources to use on what matters to you. If you want to spend more quality time with your family, unclutter the distractions and start spending more quality time with your family. Embrace your inner toddler, and simply do it.
Identify what matters most to you, identify the distractions that are keeping you from the things that matter, and do your best to remove the clutter so you can pursue the life you desire. Life is too short — even if you live to be 102 — not to build forts or laugh with your children or catch up with a dear friend or volunteer at your favorite charity or lend your neighbor a hand in a time of need or meditate or go on an adventure.
20 comments posted
Posted by Becky - 01/19/2012
Bless you, Erin, this is just what I needed to read today. Thanks.
Posted by Rona - 01/19/2012
If you’re lucky, this is what your retirement will be like. You just do what you want. It’s terrific!
Posted by mskris - 01/19/2012
thank you for reminding me of this; I”m with Becky – I needed to hear it!
Posted by Erin Doland - 01/19/2012
@Rona — Sorry to be morbid, but my aunt died from a brain tumor two months before retirement. I don’t want to wait 30 more years to enjoy things. Retirement may never come … I want to enjoy every day.
Posted by Heidi Poe - 01/19/2012
“My son likes building forts, so he builds forts. He doesn’t talk about building forts or wish he were building forts or make excuses for why he can’t build forts, he simply builds forts.”
I’ve fallen into the trap of talking about or wishing I was doing something, rather than actually doing it. And I didn’t realize it until now. Those lines I quoted really struck a chord with me. Thank you. I will work on fixing this now.
Posted by Visty - 01/19/2012
I love this. Another good side effect of decluttering is that when your kids want to tear the living room apart to build a fort, it doesn’t feel overwhelming and only takes 2 minutes to put back together.
Posted by Carol - 01/19/2012
I’ve gotten to be really good at making excuses for not doing things. Usually lack of money is the main excuse. However one day I just decided to go for something I always wanted to do, dance lessons. I can’t afford to take as many lessons as I want but I’m taking what lessons I can afford to for now and I love it. I also don’t want to wait until retirement to start enjoying life. Thank you for this lovely reminder.
Posted by chacha1 - 01/19/2012
Recently saw a graphic from the guy who does The Behavior Gap. One circle labeled “what is important” and another one labeled “what you can control,” with a small area of overlap. The overlap was labeled “where to focus.” I’m in favor of focusing on building our metaphorical forts!
Posted by cher - 01/19/2012
What a nice way to think about one’s passions. I frequently find the best way to get myself to do something is to ask “At the end of today, what would I like to have done?” That answer is often very different from what I FEEL LIKE DOING to do at any given moment–
Also, My daughter is now ten, but went through a BIG fort phase, which I loved. I cannot recommend clothes pins enough– they are an engineering miracle when you are doing renovation work on a fort, and they often work better than stacks of books that can crash on the fort builders head…
I wonder if a big ten year old would be willing to build a fort with me this weekend…
Posted by Jonathan @ punchlifeintheface - 01/19/2012
I went through a period where I was thinking about riding bicycles more than I was actually riding them. Now I’m glad to say I’m actually back on the bike – it’s much more fun.
Posted by marjoryt - 01/19/2012
Sometimes I plan something so much that the topic is exhausted – no longer worth the project. I truly like a few happy accidents in my life.
Posted by Karen - 01/19/2012
I now have a persistent hankering to build a fort in the living room.
Posted by Shannon G - 01/19/2012
Erin, you always say things so distinctly, and so easy to understand. You have been an inspiration, and this is one more example. Thanks!
Posted by AG - 01/20/2012
Erin. . .
All I can say is WOW!
You are so on point today that it is ridiculous.
“Take a little time to clear your field of vision so you can see the beauty of what is about to come into your life.”
That is today’s take-away.
Bless you a million times over.
Posted by Janet - 01/20/2012
Exactly what I needed to hear at the precise moment that I needed to hear it.
I was just talking about how I don’t have time to work in my studio anymore since taking a part time job. I have the time, all right, I’m just not using it to work on art.
This is one of the several posts that I have printed out over the past few years, Erin, but this one is getting tacked onto the wall of my studio.
Thank you.
Posted by Rob Dean - 01/20/2012
I also preciate the point about doing things, not just talking about them or planning for them.
We’ve also had some fun with fort building…
In a slightly different mode. (-:
http://sharpbrush.blogspot.com/search/label/siege
Posted by S - 01/20/2012
So well expressed and on point!
Posted by Ruby Resourceress - 01/23/2012
I read this just after I closed an account that links professionals. When I had the account I accidentally sent invites to everyone on the list, including a few who are not friends and may have felt I was trying to provoke them. I looked at the list and realized it’s for business professionals. I am on social security disability. I do not have a business. So why did I sign up for this site? It appeared in my mailbox attached to the name of a friend.
One thing I am taking time for is the Unclutterer posts. I have a hobby making trash art and you can imagine it’s easy for people to offer me “art supplies.” Unclutterer helps me remember that I can say no to stuff. Thanks!
Ruby
Posted by Marcie Lovett - 01/24/2012
Amazing what watching your kids can lead to! Some days it feels like all you want to do is build forts when you have to do grown-up work instead. Good reminder that we all choose how we spend our time outside of our “required” activities.
Posted by Kristin Turberville Haffey - 02/09/2012
“My son likes building forts, so he builds forts. He doesn’t talk about building forts or wish he were building forts or make excuses for why he can’t build forts, he simply builds forts”
I love that!
Thank you!
-Kristin
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