Unitasker Wednesday: Jalapeno Corer

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Back in middle school and high school, I participated in the popular extra-curricular activity Model United Nations. I wasn’t really interested in the resolution writing and nation researching aspects of the club (seemed to resemble “education”), mostly I just liked the parts where we socialized with kids from other schools (diplomacy!). Although I might have been representing Greece or France officially, I would just tell everyone I was from the nation of Jalapeno Twinkies.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies was a fantastic place to represent. It was spicy, sweet, and everyone ate cake with dinner. The people of Jalapeno Twinkies knew how to have a good time. One thing is for certain, though, the people of Jalapeno Twinkies would never, not ever, remove seeds from jalapenos before eating them. Why would anyone remove the best part? Jalapeno seeds are the spicy delicious part!

As a former fake Ambassador of Jalapeno Twinkies, I am truly baffled by the need for a Jalapeno Corer:

Forgetting for a moment the imaginary nation of Jalapeno Twinkies (it will be difficult, I know), I’m fully perplexed as to why a paring knife is insufficient for coring a jalapeno. A paring knife is smaller than the Jalapeno Corer, it works on things other than jalapenos, you probably already own one, and it’s extremely simple to use. If you’re planning to stuff the jalapeno to make poppers, you cut off the top of the pepper, insert the knife and make a swooping motion around the inside of the pepper cutting free the core (exactly like you would with the Jalapeno Corer), turn the pepper upside down and tap out the core and seeds. If you’re chopping up a jalapeno, simply do what the woman does in this short YouTube video. I don’t advocate cutting out the delicious, spicy seeds of a jalapeno, but if you must, a paring knife is certainly the uncluttered way to go.

The nation of Jalapeno Twinkies endorses this message.

24 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Jalapeno Corer”

  1. posted by Pete on

    This looks like a device for making jalapeno poppers, which are perhaps one of the yummiest things you can do with a jalapeno.

  2. posted by Debra on

    Could you imagine if you had all these dumb kitchen unitaskers in your drawer and your friend came over to hang out and cook with you and was looking for a spatula. What’s this? A jalapeno corer… What’s this? A whatever other stupid thing… etc.

  3. posted by Nana on

    Ummm…sorry, but it’s “paring”

    And I do agree — a paring knife is certainly a kitchen necessity.

  4. posted by Steve on

    Having used neither a paring knife nor the Jalapeño Corer to core a jalapeño, I can’t say for sure, but I would bet that the corer is better at it and has a lower risk of cutting yourself. It seems similar to a garlic press – it’s better at the task than the multitasker option, so if it’s something you do once a week or more, it might be worth owning.

    (My wife likes her poppers un-spicy, and we bake rather than fry them, so I cut the jalapeños in half, seed them, and pile filling on top)

  5. posted by Egirl on

    For many of us in the Southwest jalapenos are common ingredients in lots of dishes. When I cut jalas in half I use a grapefruit spoon to de-seed and de-vein them, and wear rubber gloves. Even then some of the juice manages to get onto my fingers. A paring knife doesn’t work nearly as well.

    For poppers, I may just buy this gadget. Unitasker it may be, but could prove to be very useful! Thanks for the tip!

  6. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Pete — Seeds are the best part of the popper! Spicy goodness :)

  7. posted by Alix on

    I thought the seeds were insanely hot or something… am I thinking of a different kind of pepper?

  8. posted by priest's wife on

    Alix- yes, they are painfully hot- I guess Erin is a really spicy blogger! ;)

  9. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @priest’s wife — I’ve never been called a spicy blogger before! I like it :)

  10. posted by Jackpot on

    I’ve made a lot of jalapeno poppers. The best thing in the world is a stick-type vegetable peeler. Smaller than a grapefruit spoon, no possiblility of cutting yourself like a paring knife, and a reasonably good chance there’s one in your kitchen utensil drawer.

  11. posted by Jonathan @ punchlifeintheface on

    I can see how this would be slightly more efficient than using a paring knife, but honestly unless you’re eating poppers every day then surely this thing is unnecessary.

  12. posted by Cassandra on

    Ok, this is why you would take out the seeds (even though yes, they are the best part):

    - core the jalapeno
    - mix seeds into cream cheese with other popper filling ingredients
    - stuff jalapeno, thereby putting the seeds (plus some deliciousness) back in

    Still, yeah, you wouldn’t need this. I like the vegetable peeler idea.

  13. posted by Lisa on

    I have one of these. We grow jalapenos every year and this gadget it MUCH easier to use than a paring knife when I am trying to pickle a huge quantity of peppers. Unitasker? I don’t care in this case!

  14. posted by Tim Gray on

    Note:

    Instead of just cream cheese, get some “hot pepper jelly” and mix with the cream cheese to make a sweet/spicy filling for the pepper.

    It kicks them up a notch in flavor and adds a slight sweet to it that really satisfies.

  15. posted by Ann on

    I’m curious about how you found out about the jalapeno corer and whether you read the reviews on Amazon, which seem to echo most of the comments on here. People who core a lot of jalapenos, and especially those who make Jalapeno Poppers, even those who love the seeds, find this to be a worthwhile item, even as a unitasker. I’m considering buying one because we grow a lot of jalapenos, and my son loves Jalapeno Poppers so much (and I know he’d be likely to cut himself using a paring knife, so I figure the little bit of drawer space is better than a trip to the emergency room, especially since he doesn’t have health insurance).

    I can see why people who don’t core jalapenos often might think this isn’t worth buying, but that’s the case for most unitaskers; if you don’t use them often, they’re usually not worth the space, but if you do, they often are.
    I don’t open all that many cans, but when I do, I still prefer to use a can opener (definitely a unitasker) over a paring knife (although I have seen people open a can with one, it’s not something I’d want to try).

  16. posted by Phyllis on

    Having “burned” my fingers a time or two, it seems this gadget would have some merit! I find jalapeno peppers to be hot enough without the seeds! :)

  17. posted by ninakk on

    @Ann, one of those that don’t fit into the “most” category is the dad saddle. I still laugh so hard that I cry when reading the post.

  18. posted by DeeDee on

    It isn’t the seeds that are the hottest part, it’s that white membrane on the flesh of the pepper. If you trim that off, the pepper will be less hot.

  19. posted by Gabe on

    I will agree with those that leave the seeds in.

    I think Jackpot is referring to this type of peeler (half the price of the jalapeno corer)
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....tterer-20/

  20. posted by Jackpot on

    Gabe, that’s it exactly. I scoop the center out and if some seeds get left in, that’s fine.

    I like Tim Gray’s hot pepper jelly add-in. Next time I’m going to try that. My standard recipe: core jalapeno, stuff with cream cheese, wrap with bacon and pin with a toothpick. Put them on a slow barbecue until the bacon is crisp.

  21. posted by Elin on

    Yeah, I’m not laughing at the ridiculousness of this.

  22. posted by Pat on

    I use an apple corer to core jalepenos when making poppers. It works super fast (much easier than using a paring knife).

  23. posted by Jodi on

    I have no need for a jalapeno corer (I don’t like mild peppers like jalapenos…I’m a habenaro kinda gal!) but I LOVE the recipe ideas that were shared, and just wanted to say THANKS!

  24. posted by Cal on

    I always use a regular teaspoon for scooping pulp or *gasp* my fingers. Now, the latter option isn’t recommended if you’re removing the seeds from a lot of jalapeños, but it isn’t going to light your fingers afire in pain if you’re just prepping one or two for a recipe.

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