Unitasker Wednesday: Pizza Scissors/Spatula–Cut n Serve
All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
What I love about this week’s unitasker is that it proudly acknowledges its unitasker-y status. It screams, “I have ONE purpose and I DON’T CARE!”
It doesn’t make any excuses for who it is. It doesn’t claim to work on pie or poultry or paper or anything else that might benefit from the slicing action of two sharp blades. This bad boy is committed to PIZZA. Heck, it’s only committed to round pizza. Forget square pizza or the amoeba-shaped pizzas that come out of my oven, the Pizza Scissors/Spatula-Cut n Serve doesn’t want to work with them. Nice, triangular pieces cut from a perfectly round pizza are all this baby wants to touch. Move over traditional pizza cutter and general use spatula, now there is something with fewer use options that will only replace you in very specific circumstances. High five, Pizza Scissors/Spatula–Cut n Serve. Unitaskers represent!
Thanks to reader Mary for introducing us to this week’s unitasker.
30 comments posted
Posted by Debra - 10/12/2011
I can’t even imagine where I would store this item. I mean my utensil drawer is only a few inches tall.
Posted by LP - 10/12/2011
I was going to leave a comment about how I think this unitasker could possibly function, but after thinking about it I’m just going to leave you with “This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen”.
Posted by Jonathan - 10/12/2011
Actually this isn’t a unitasker. It works both as scissors and a spatula
Posted by Robin - 10/12/2011
Funnily enough, even the one review isn’t exactly enthusiastic!
What’s really good though is that this other pair (which requires you to cut and then turn) gets rave reviews but it is, in essence, the same thing.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....tterer-20/
Posted by Another Deb - 10/12/2011
You would need an entire drawer all on its own to store this monster.
Posted by Jacki Hollywood Brown - 10/12/2011
This tool that cannot be used by left-handed people – yet another reason to put it in the unitasker category.
Posted by K - 10/12/2011
OH NOES! I haz to fire mai reggalr spachulahs! Dey will be soe sadddddddd to miss owt on teh pizza!
Posted by stagepin - 10/12/2011
Does anyone else think they’d have the overwhelming urge to cut a slice with this and then just flip the piece over their shoulder? Because, boy howdy, I’d be chucking pieces left and right.
Posted by Amelia - 10/12/2011
Hahaha! Cutting pizza with scissors is actually great–but I have one pair of kitchen shears that do the job just fine, even though they don’t say “pizza” on them! And, those same shears do a lot of other jobs in the kitchen as well!
And, in my family, we don’t even use a spatula unless guests are over–the kids don’t mind if I touch their slice as I put in on the plate! One less thing to wash!
Posted by angie - 10/12/2011
I don’t see how this would even work.
I imagine myself cutting it wrong so that the cut piece ends up being to the right of the spatula, instead of on it. and then I would break it in a fit of anger, lol
Posted by Anita - 10/12/2011
Tsk. Erin! I’m disappointed. Do you not see that this tool actually does 3 things in one?!
1. Measures out your pizza servings as well as the exact angle at which to cut each slice.
2. Cuts your pizza.
3. Helps you serve your pizza.
It’s actually saving you a ruler, a protractor, a knife AND a spatula. Now THAT is multitasking.
Does this come in different sizes, for small, medium and large pizzas?
Posted by AG - 10/12/2011
Ugh!
Where is Idea Quality Control when you need them?
Posted by jodi - 10/12/2011
Wouldn’t a traditional pizza cutter also be a unitasker?
Posted by Jenni - 10/12/2011
@Anita–Bahahaha. The logic makes me think of Sheldon’s FlipFold garment folder on Big Bang Theory.
Posted by Erin Doland - 10/12/2011
@jodi — I use my traditional pizza cutting wheel to slice all sorts of things: raw pastry dough, homemade pasta and noodles, sandwiches, etc.
Posted by Philly - 10/12/2011
But how do you cut the first slice? It would need to be cut on both sides.
Posted by eccoyle - 10/12/2011
@Philly That’s what I want to know!
Also, I have never in my life used a spatula to serve a piece of pizza
Posted by Rick - 10/13/2011
Where would you keep this! Keep these coming, Christmas is right around the corner!
Rick
Posted by jodi - 10/13/2011
@Erin: I usually use scissors or a knife for those, but (especially for large dough) a pizza cutter might be faster. I will keep that in mind next time! Thanks!
Posted by Ariel - 10/13/2011
I do use scissors to cut my pizza, but I never noticed my kitchen scissors lacking in their abilities here.
Posted by Shalin - 10/13/2011
Most unusual kitchen gadget trying to appear normal…
Posted by Christina Rodriguez | The Diva's Home - 10/13/2011
That is just plain, weird!
Posted by Christyn@StrivingforSimple - 10/13/2011
People are pretty creative….what will they amaze us with next! : ) I am presently clearing a whole cabinet shelf to store this thing…hurray for many more pizza nights to come!!! Lol
Posted by priest's wife - 10/13/2011
I probably would cut myself while I was washing the spatula part of this thing
Posted by June Lemen - 10/13/2011
I cannot even visualize how these work. Amazingly strange.
Posted by Maya - 10/14/2011
I needed that good laugh!
Posted by ninakk - 10/14/2011
Actually you can also use it for dusting confectioner’s sugar on top of a cake, should you want to spell pizza on it. Maybe for the celebration of the birthday of a pizzeria?
Posted by CM - 10/14/2011
I like the cake stencil idea. Or, a pizzeria could hang this outside as a multitasking sign. It can be used to turn dinnertime into a teachable moment for children. If you are one of those people who responds to stress by forgetting to eat, and you do a lot of scissor-cutting as part of your work, it could remind you. OK, I’m out of ideas.
Posted by Lee - 10/14/2011
Actually, I wouldn’t mind having this if I used a small crock to store it. We eat lots of pizza and buy thick pizza crusts which take several slices with the knife to get through it. My husband makes great topping and often they make the crust somewhat floppy (heavy and sometimes juicy). Therefore, we almost always use a table knife (not as effective) or a pie spatula to remove the pieces from the pan. I’ve had too many fall upside down that I’ve had to put back together. These are pizzas that you want to keep flat, not like some from Pizza Hut that could fall upside down and not lose a single ingredient. My concern is whether it is designed well enough to get 5 stars on actually functioning well to do what it was designed to do.
Still, I’m happy with our method so won’t be buying one. Fun find, though!
Posted by Kimberly - 10/19/2011
The funny thing is that I noticed one of these on an episode of Hoarders. Tells you what kind of people buy this stuff.
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