Unitasker Wednesday: Lawn Stryper
All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!
This week’s unitasker came from my husband who thinks it is hysterical. He had to explain it to me, because no matter how many times I read the product description I couldn’t figure out what the Lawn Stryper does:
I finally figured out that the Lawn Stryper is a rolling weight that pushes down your grass and puts a pattern on your lawn, like a baseball field (well, at least until it rains or the wind blows). I can’t imagine it helps the fuel economy of a self-propelled mower, and for $96 it seems like quite the expensive novelty item. Also, how can you see the stripes in the yard if you don’t have an aerial view? Before you think that a local parks department might want to buy it, I should note that this specific item is for home use only and won’t work with a large, professional mower. There are larger field stripers for professional use.
23 comments posted
Posted by Liz - 05/04/2011
Hmm. My mower makes it’s own stripes without assistance, and it’s not a big, fancy one. Can’t imagine why anyone would buy this. Now, a lawn stencil might have potential. (just kidding)
Posted by Celeste - 05/04/2011
All we have to do is mow on the diagonal and we get stripes as well. I can’t imagine wanting to do the walking just to get the effect…seems like a crazy waste of time if you can get your mower to do it while you trim.
Posted by Joe Shelby - 05/04/2011
I always wanted my own “do it yourself automatic crop circle kit”.
Posted by Erin Doland - 05/04/2011
@Joe — HA!! I think you and @Liz should put your ideas together. A crop circle stencil kit would be quite fantastic
Posted by Jessica - 05/04/2011
Clearly you all don’t live in the suburbs of McMansions and expansive vistas of lawn. Depending on how particular you are cutting the grass, your lawn can look like a fine tartan cloth, setting it off from the plain look of the McMansion next door!
Posted by Anita - 05/04/2011
Haha love the crop circle stencil kit idea!
Well, under “Frequently bought together” there’s a book called Lawnscapes: Mowing Patterns to Make Your Yard a Work of Art. From the description: “Lawnscapes teaches readers how to mow artistic masterpieces directly into their lawns everything from checkerboard squares, hearts, and bull’s-eyes to Christmas trees, Celtic knotwork, and much more.”
So evidently there’s a lawn art trend we’re all unaware of. Personally, I have other hobbies, but hey, who am I to judge?
Posted by Aunt Cloud - 05/04/2011
A classic product placement for Desperate Housewives.
Posted by Eric - 05/04/2011
Weak choice this week. How is this more of a unitasker than the mower itself? Is there something wrong with taking a little pride in your yard, especially by doing something that doesn’t really even require any extra work?
Posted by Visty - 05/04/2011
Seems like a body could accomplish this with things we already might have, like kids, sleds, and an ox.
Posted by Matt P - 05/04/2011
I’ve seen similar things being used in fancy hotels to make the thick carpets smooth after being vacuumed.
Posted by Viv - 05/04/2011
Re the need for people with McMansions to own one. You would hire people to do that for you.
Posted by Dr. Pete - 05/04/2011
Sorry, I’m with Jessica. You clearly underestimate the importance of manicured green weeds to the fulfillment of the American Dream. My life is incomplete now that I realize that other people are rubbing their striped lawns in my face.
Posted by Sue - 05/05/2011
Hmm…I think Eric may own one and is now feeling a little silly.
A mower is a necessary item for anyone with a lawn. What’s the alternative? Get a goat? But an attachment to put patterns into your lawn is about as silly as it gets. This is especially useless because a skilled person can get patterns using just the mower itself.
Posted by Maureen - 05/05/2011
There is a homeowner in my sister’s neighbourhood who manages to make his lawn look plaid. I thought he did it by mowing in different directions with the blade at different heights. There wasn’t a blade of grass out of place. He frequently won civic beautification awards.
Posted by Cathi S. - 05/05/2011
What if someone made a carpet with permanent vacuum cleaner marks?! Yeehaw!
Posted by Robyn - 05/05/2011
The ONLY reason I can think of for someone to buy this would be a real estate agent. They could have the homeowner use it right before taking picutres of the house for the listing. Then the yard would look “extra special” when people are browsing online. But even that is a stretch.
Posted by ninakk - 05/05/2011
@Sue: You can use a goat but then it’s a bitasker (? ditasker?). Grass chopper and stencil maker (just attach it to a pole and let it make circle stencils). Oh wait, you can use any kind of grass-eating animal for this pattern making, so maybe I should invent a specific pole to which you can attach an animal of choice and claim patent.
@Maureen: He most likely used a nail scissors if he cut it that specifically.
Great ideas everyone.
Posted by Ms. D - 05/05/2011
Our lawn guys put fine, lasting stripes iin our small, urban yard…yes, at an angle, even! I don’t think they use this gadget, but maybe they should consider marketing their technique (I couldn’t tell you what it is, they finish around 8:30 AM, which is when I leave for work, so all I ever SEE them do is blow the clippings off the sidewalk).
Posted by Laura - 05/06/2011
Ummm… stripes are standard in Britain…don’t know if this is how they get them or not…
Posted by katrina - 05/06/2011
Definitely a unitasker.
In Australia I’ve noticed that striped lawns are either laughed at or belong to “cricket tragics” who want their lawn to look like a sports ground. Unless someone’s in a drought area, in which case the person with the stripey lawn is sneered at for stealing town water whether they did or not
Posted by ChrisD - 05/10/2011
Here in the UK you get stripes just by running the mower up in one direction and down in the other. Grass in one direction looks a different colour than grass cut in the other direction (if you walk down the lawn and turn around of course the colours have reversed). It’s just a matter of mowing in long steady lines.
Re green lawn in draught area of Australia, it’s a pity aesthetics from one of the rainiest countries was carried over to one of the dryest countries.
Posted by The Plaid Cow - 05/10/2011
The be a proper unitasker, a single implement should do a job that other tools you likely already have could do just as well. While some may consider this silly, I find it hard to call this a unitasker because there are no other multitaskers which can be used to achieve the same output.
Posted by Jimmy - 06/03/2011
This is actually only $56.00 on Amazon. The stripes are how the blades of grass are bent and reflect the light/shade. You can basically put a weight behind any mower to get the same effect. I think it looks good. It makes your yard visually appealing, that’s why all the ball fields look the way they do. But, I guess you have to actually care about your yard and how it looks.
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