Tips for returning to normal after a large disruption
The past eight weeks have been a blur. I’m certain I will not look back on this chaotic time fondly. Rather, I think I will only feel a sense of accomplishment for merely surviving. It appears a period of calm is on the horizon, though, and I am looking forward to declaring April as 2011′s Super Simple Month.
Large disruptions are a part of life, and recovering from them can often feel as stressful as the disruptions. Returning to normal, or a new normal, can happen, but it won’t happen magically. Try these tips to help you get back into a manageable routine — this is how I’m getting out from under the overwhelming backlog of responsibilities:
- Don’t try to recover from the disruption in just one day. Give yourself a week or more to stop feeling like you’re drowning under catch-up work. The aphorism, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” is applicable here.
- Try to schedule part of your day focused on new items and part of your day on ones you missed while you were gone. This way, you can keep items from continuing to pile up.
- Schedule actions on your calendar and double or triple the amount of time you think it should take you to accomplish the task. If it usually takes you an hour a day to respond to voice mail, block off two or three hours to do it.
- Schedule the task you will feel the greatest reward from accomplishing first. You need momentum to propel you through the next task, which will be the thing you need to do the most.
- Now is not the time to multi-task. You likely still have a lot on your mind, and that will be enough of a distraction from your work. Go through your email backlog in a batch, keeping track of action items on a piece of paper or digitally. You can tend to the action items in a batch at a later time.
- Take care of yourself — eat well, sleep well, and ask for help when you need it. I realize it’s easier said than done, but try your best to keep your energy levels high.
22 comments posted
Posted by Living the Balanced Life - 03/22/2011
I think it is so true that you need to do the things that will reap the greatest reward first. For instance (not that you would do this, lol!) If someone has moved and is putting off unpacking the kitchen completely, but yet they are constantly having to dig and search thry boxes for needed items while trying to feed their family, it would just make since to bite the bullet and get the kitchen set up. Even if it isn’t perfect, you can make adjustments.
I know you are glad the move is over!
Bernice
Posted by Jen Zagorsky - 03/22/2011
I was recently in the same boat and, as an organizer, I felt somewhat embarrassed to admit that my life had become disorganized. But what you said is true – we all go through short term (and sometimes long term) disruptions and the best thing you can do is cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to lean back into it and not feel like you have to jump right in.
thanks for this post
Posted by Sooz - 03/22/2011
Add me to the list; I got thrown off schedule 3 weeks ago and am still trying to recover from that disruption. It is frustrating and sometimes infuriating, but I’ve told myself I just have to get back into the routine bit by bit. But boy, getting thrown off kilter does take a toll!
Posted by Susan in FL - 03/22/2011
My life was derailed the first of February by a breast cancer diagnosis. After eight weeks of “not normal” I’m still facing at least another five weeks of radiation therapy and then who knows what. And I’m already so tired. And I know my DH is tired too. We are not young anymore and don’t bounce back well. DH and I are cutting each other LOTS of slack.
Posted by writing all the time - 03/22/2011
Thank you, Erin, for writing about this reality. Life goes in cycles, easy/smooth turns into chaotic/draining, and there are many variations.
Lowering ‘production standards’ and increasing self care is the way to go. Whatever makes you laugh is a good thing, as are friends and family who take you away from it all for a while.
And the settling-in time can be quite productive creatively. Unpacking is another chance to evaluate use and placement of stuff we’ve to which we’ve become habituated. We can see things differently, and have flights of useful fancy.
@Susan in Florida, thank you for sharing about how disruptive a major illness diagnosis is. It turns everything topsy turvy and inside out. Cutting each other some slack is an excellent tool. Best wishes for your recovery.
Posted by Erin Doland - 03/22/2011
@Susan in FL — I wish you a full and speedy recovery. Good thoughts heading your way.
Posted by js from Iowa - 03/22/2011
You don’t know how much I needed this today. I know what you are feeling Susan. My husband was diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks ago and we are almost half way thru with the radiation and chemo treatments. He is in the tired and not wanting to eat mode. This throws his responsibilities onto me and not wanting him to worry about things. When I am at work I want to be home with him. When I am at home I am feeling guilty and feel like I need to be at work. I am tired, when I am at work my head is not into it. I feel like I am constantly doing triage whether I am at home or at work. Thank you for putting things into perspective with some suggestions.
Posted by bc girl - 03/22/2011
Thanks for the post Erin. My husband, my 7 month old and I are going to Paris in a couple of weeks. While I know the vacation will be wonderful and an experience, I was anxious about the “settling back” once we returned (especially, the part where the baby has to readjust to an 8 hour time difference). I feel like all of your tips can be useful in this situation and I’m going to save it in my travel folder as this can be applied to all future travels too — thanks again!
Posted by marjoryt - 03/22/2011
I frequently help students through “academic rescue” – trying to get caught up in multiple classes. We begin with examining the entire problem – all the assignments current and backlogged, and also what’s coming up. Whenever possible, we develop a plan to do something currently due, then a back something, then a current something. Working back and forth helps anyone feel “current” and that the catch up occurs in small batches. If necessary, I’ll indicate time limits on assignments (you have 20 minutes to do this homework – starting now).
So, stomp on little fires now (just a few of them) while working on rebuilding the burnt barn.
Posted by the other Tammy - 03/22/2011
@ Susan–
Please make sure you are utilizing all the resources available to help you while you are receiving your treatments. http://www.cleaningforareason.org is a nonprofit organization that organizes free housekeeping services for people undergoing cancer treatments.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Posted by Michele - 03/22/2011
I agree that large disruptions are part of life and sometimes bring about unexpected outcomes. One thing I remind myself of when trying to get back into my normal routine is to not bite off more than I can chew. Feeling overwhelmed to begin with and staying up to the wee hours of the morning with the expectation of getting everything done is not a good plan. I find that sleep is crucial to starting off the next day on the right foot.
Thanks for the great post.
Posted by Leonie - 03/22/2011
@ bc girl.
Don’t be too concerned about the change on baby. My sons have traveled from one continent to another since they were babies (with grandparents in the US and us living abroad, it was necessary). I’ve never noticed any major disruptions in their sleep patterns either way. What’s more important is that you get your rest and take it easy.
Or plan ahead. For example, do you have someone who can help out with filling fridge with fresh milk and juice when you return so if you’re arriving late at night or way early in morning home, you know you’ve got breakfast at least?
I like to keep the house really tidy before we leave, and especially after a trip abroad it really helps. Right now, we’ve just returned from a 10 day holiday to Eastern Europe and I’m dealing with laundry. knowing that we already have enough clean socks and undies etc helps lighten the stress of re-adjusting.
And for yourself, if you can start adjusting a little to the time difference by staying up a little later or getting up a little earlier each day, that will help.
Above all, just have fun. Paris is always fun no matter what time of the year you go.
Posted by Jessica - 03/22/2011
My family is about to embark on a year long renovation/addition to our house. As money is super tight, we cannot move out and will have to do most of the work ourselves. I am having a hard time seeing how we will ever finish, let alone get back to normal.
The only useful thing I can see is that we have to pack up most of our belongings and not see them for almost a year. I suspect that living for so long without some of our ‘necessities’ will be eye-opening.
Posted by Courtney - 03/22/2011
This post could not have come at a more perfect time for me. I returned to work last week after 8 weeks of maternity leave with our first baby. Talk about things being put on hold! A cluttered house, thousands of emails unread, and the laundry…oh, the laundry…I’m just starting to dig out.
I agree that you shouldn’t try to multitask. Any time I’ve tried to do more than one thing at a time, I’ve ended up screwing up both things and having to do them again anyway. Taking things slow has really helped, along with accepting help from others to get the little things done.
Posted by Just Breathe - 03/22/2011
My heart and prayers go out to Susan in FL and js from Iowa. Please be as kind to yourselves as possible. I will always remember the advice from a wise friend, who held a doctorate, many years ago, “In the light of eternity, what is this?”
Posted by Calico ginger - 03/22/2011
PERFECT timiming for this one Erin, yet another unscheduled trip overseas to my help my elderly mother in her earthquake damaged city has left my world a bit frayed around the edges…
Posted by Another Deb - 03/22/2011
We just finished another 9 week term at school and had spring break. I am so glad that this time we didn’t travel. Since being gone almost the entire summer last year I am still feeling behind on projects and healthcare issues. Having an accidental death in the family the first week of schoollast Aug. and dealing with the estate has added to the normal stress of the school year. It took me a week just to feel back to normal again. I may not feel like I did much but I sure needed that rest!
Susan in Fl, I know how it was to go through radiation and try to function. I met an elderly lady who had her daily radiation appointment right after mine and we became friends. She told me that during her radiation treatment each day, she spent the time in prayer. I don’t know why that has stayed with me for the past 15 years but it soothed me greatly. I am glad your husband is there to help you deal with this.
Posted by bc girl - 03/23/2011
@Leonie,
Thanks! Having some milk/juice and bread/jam in the house before we get back home is a small but significant help to begin the next day or next few days! I should remember to ask my parents to stop by my place.
Normally, I don’t mind if the house isn’t tidy before we leave on holiday, but I’m going to try and get it as tidy and welcoming as possible beforehand and see how it helps…
Thanks again!
Posted by Carol - 03/23/2011
Great blog, thanks, I bookmarked it.
Posted by Layla - 03/23/2011
@marjoryt: I have a bad habit of getting behind in all my classes, which then makes me less motivated to do any work, and it spirals downward from there.
So far I’ve been able to get away with trying my best to stay focussed and catch up. Next year (third year) I’m going to have to do better than that
Posted by Johanna - 03/23/2011
I know what it’s like to go through a major renovation, which is in and of itself a huge stressor. It IS possible to get back to normal.
2 years ago, in the middle of the job my husband died suddenly of a heart attack. There I was, left alone, with no income and huge debt, and having to finish the job.
Soon after that I got dengue fever; I recovered just in time to go my daughter in Hawaii, facing my fear of flying. I already had the tickets, I just went alone, so it was Bittersweet.
After returning I still had to clean up the renovation mess, by myself. Then I began another necessary maintenance remodel, and all the mess that goes with it. Then my son-in-law was transferred to a Washington State Navy base and my daughter became seriously ill; I went to care for her for 2 months, leaving in the middle of the remodel, letting the workmen finish on their own. I had to trust in God that all would be well.
When I returned from that (daughter better) I found the whole house covered in dust… closets, drawers, and everything in them. That was in August and then my dog… friend and companion, died.
Then in October my son-in-law suffered a heart attack; he survived, he’s only 36.
It’s been 2 years… a long disruption in my life, but it IS possible. I am just now able to see the results of my efforts of decluttering, cleaning, organizing facing fears and overcoming them.
I’m working on creating a new life for myself, by self, one day at a time. Every experience has been a lesson and an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth, and I feel I’m becoming a better person because of it.
Sorry for the long post, but I just want to say that IT IS POSSIBLE.
Jo
Posted by Shane - 06/08/2011
Good tips to overcome large disruption.You are right, it’s a step-by-step process and has to be organized properly in a timely manner, giving priority to the most rewarding first.
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