Unitasker Wednesday: Mascara Protector

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

When reader Emily sent me information about this week’s unitasker, I had to do some research. I didn’t understand what the device did or why someone might want to use it.

After reading the product description, I learned that the item, the Tweezerman Mascara Protector, is supposed to protect your face from getting mascara on it when you’re applying mascara. I just wipe the errant mascara off with my finger or a damp cloth, so I didn’t realize my cheeks needed protection. However, the people at Tweezerman thought otherwise:

Apparently, those who did purchase the product, didn’t really love it. (That might be the understatement of the year.) The Tweezerman Mascara Protector has such “positive” reviews on Amazon as:

“This thing works fine I suppose.”

and

“works okay. kinda a pain to use and not really worth it in the end. but hey it works.”

The competing product, the Myrabelle Mascara Shield, has reviews such as “i dont use it at all … if youre trying to save money, dont buy it” and “Don’t waste your money. If zero stars had been a choice that’s what I would have chosen.”

There are even comments suggesting that it’s easy to poke into your eye if you don’t have a steady hand. In case the mascara wand wasn’t dangerous enough, you can get a second chance to poke your eye with the protector! Three cheers for temporary blindness! Commenters also note that it’s very difficult to hold with one hand while applying mascara with the other, because those of us who wear mascara needed the process to be harder. Lovely.

At the end of the day, I’ll be saving my money and continuing to use my finger to wipe off any unruly mascara — the finger that is free and already attached to my body.

17 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Mascara Protector”

  1. posted by Lose That Girl on

    Wow. Hard to believe that someone had faith in such a stupid product.

  2. posted by Dorothy on

    And then there’s a related Unitasker, Clinique’s Bottom Lash Mascara. A mascara ONLY for — are you ready! — your bottom lashes!

    Silly me! For all these years I’ve imagined the same product could be used for both top AND bottom lashes. But no! Clinique (and other manufacturers) have invented yet another “need” and invented the product to fill it. Or was it the other way around?

    As though painting goop around our eyes wasn’t dopey (and cluttery) enough, now we “need” special mascara for our bottom lashes.

    I guess PT Barnum was right about one born every minute.

  3. posted by Alix on

    The thing about the Clinique mascara is that the brush is designed differently, and much smaller, so it’s easier to coat the lower lashes while not making a complete mess. Not for everyone, I’ll admit, but makeup enthusiasts are sure to snap it up.

  4. Avatar of

    posted by s on

    In general, Tweezerman products are pretty good and innovative, and pretty. But I don’t think I’ll invest in the mascara protector.

  5. posted by Jen on

    Wow, to think I’ve been recklessly applying mascara all these years with no protection! I rarely get any mascara on my skin that needs to be wiped away but I guess if one is terrified of such an occasion and might be paralyzed with fear if it were to happen, this might just be the unitasker for her ;)

  6. posted by Marie on

    I’m of the wipe-it-off-with-my-finger school of mascara cleanup. The thing I hate about the unitaskers they advertise on TV is that they always hire a moron klutz to demonstrate the conventional way of doing something.

  7. posted by L. on

    Well, I wouldn’t mind some way to avoid mascara mistakes because usually a finger doesn’t get the stuff off well enough. Usually I have to use a little moisturizer to clean it off, which messes up the other makeup, and gets in my eye and makes it water … not an ideal solution either. But I have no belief that this would make a particularly good solution for me, either! Probably practice would be the best thing–I don’t wear makeup much.

  8. posted by Jocelyn on

    I keep a q-tip in my makeup bag…it works wonders for removing mascara without smearing. Just press it on the spot and wipe! (for some reason, more pressure is better in this case….just don’t press so hard you hurt yourself, obviously. haha) And I can use it more than once!
    You don’t have to reapply any other makeup you might remove with other methods!

  9. posted by NoAlias on

    I was trying to figure out why mascara needed protection. Now I realize it’s me that needs protection from the mascara.

  10. posted by Julie Bestry on

    I must have superpowers, because, although I’ve been applying mascara practically every day for over 30 years, unless I sneeze (in which case, all bets are off), I never get mascara on my face. On those sneezy days, a drop of liquid makeup remover on a Q-tip and dotted on the spots tends to remove the mascara/raccoon look without picking up too much foundation. Dry, swoop with a little loose powder, and all is well.

    It actually looks like a very tiny ice scraper!

  11. posted by Rebecca on

    Or you could keep hold of the cotton-wool pad used for pre-make-up cleansing and hold that under your eye? Therefore avoiding smudges, not wasting resources and not having corners to poke into your eye.

  12. posted by Sally on

    There are oh so many unitaskers in the world of beauty! I will admit to trying this product, but only because I have long lashes that just about touch the skin on the lower half. It is quite impossible to put mascara on the lower lashes without it getting on the skin…however, this “tool” is not particularly helpful. It’s mostly awkward and silly. These days I don’t really care to wear mascara on the bottom lashes, so problem solved :)

  13. posted by Sheryl on

    I’ve always had trouble getting mascara on my bottom lashes w/o having it smear, and wiping the smears off has been a problem because I have a skin tag underneath the lashes on my left eye. I end up looking like “Goth Raccoon Lady”. Not a look I want.

    That said, I don’t think this little gadget would be helpful at all…but I AM gonna be all over that Clinique mascara! ;-)

  14. posted by JustGail on

    I also do the damp cotton swab method. I’ve also read that a bit of extra powder under the eye before putting on the makeup works also. Then when done, just dust away the excess powder.

    I think I’d have more mess using this item than not.

  15. posted by Marsanne on

    The best way to remove mascara from your skin – let it dry completely before touching it! Once it is dry, use your fingernail or a q-tip to flick it off of your skin. When mascara dries, it flakes off and doesn’t smear. :)

  16. posted by Gette on

    I have to admit having a mascara protector made it applying mascara fast and foolproof. *g* Having said that, I use an unwanted business card with a little half oval trimmed into one edge. It gives a clean application but you do get a lot of mascara on the card than you would on your skin. I didn’t bother making another one once I threw the first card away.

  17. posted by June Lemen on

    I love these postings. Every time I feel bad abou wasting money on something that I thought would be good but turns out to be not worth it (usually some kind of recipe), I assuage my guilt with these. At least I would never buy this!

Comments are closed.