Unitasker Wednesday: Watermelon knife

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The nasty cold winter weather has me dreaming of summer. I’m imagining scenes of walking outside without a coat, hat, gloves, scarf, and boots. I keep standing next to the window, hoping to feel the warm sun on my face, but dense clouds threatening snow are keeping that from happening.

One of my favorite summer foods is watermelon. I’ve been especially missing its cold and crisp texture, and sweet juice that always seems to find its way down my chin. Unfortunately, since I can’t enjoy it now, I’ve had to think about my future with watermelon and how the chef’s knife I use to cut it likely offends the fruit.

“How dare you cut me with a knife you use on other foods!” it thinks, in judgment of me.

This year, I vow to impress watermelons! I shall no longer feel shame about using a multi-functional knife. Instead, I will win the watermelons’ affections as I pull out my dedicated Stainless Steel Watermelon Knife:

All watermelons will know they are being sliced by a knife created just for them when they see the stamp on the blade identifying the knife’s very specific purpose:

Summer needs to hurry up and get here so I can use the knife that won’t offend watermelons!

Thanks to reader Swilde for introducing us to this fun unitasker.

19 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Watermelon knife”

  1. posted by Carson on

    This reminds me of nothing so much as a naginata without the pole.

  2. posted by Emily on

    This reminds me of the other day when I had a grapefruit and my co-worker asked me if I had a grapefruit spoon. Had no clue a special spoon was required!

  3. posted by Sally on

    Emily, I actually have a couple of grapefruit spoons in the silverware drawer. One of my little pet peeves is getting grapefruit/orange peel under my nails when peeling them, so I slice them in half and use the little serrated spoon to scoop out the insides. Silly I know, but they don’t take up much space and I use them regularly :)

    P.S. There is really nothing more satisfying than whacking a watermelon in half with my big heavy chef’s knife!

  4. posted by Marie on

    No knife is a unitasker.

  5. posted by RR on

    I use my nice big serrated bread knife for watermelon. Works a treat.

  6. posted by Sharon on

    Emily – funny you mentioned grapefruit spoons because I use mine to eat watermelon!

  7. posted by Y on

    back home we have watermelon knives too. They are notorious for being used in movie scenes by crooks and street gangstars for street fights and for killing rivals. I guess it is not that unitasky afterall.

  8. posted by Adam Snider on

    I think, really, this is just an extra long knife, which would make cutting a large watermelon in half a lot easier. There’s not reason that it couldn’t be used for many other cutting related tasks.

    The marketing may be a little bit silly, but the item itself doesn’t really seem to be that much different than other knives.

  9. posted by Sue on

    I use a grapefruit spoon to help close the safety pins I use to baste quilts; it was a lot cheaper than the tool they sell to do that!

  10. posted by C on

    A knife that long would be ideal for slicing meat and fish in one long stroke as well. Provided it was a quality blade and sharp, a blade that long would be excellent to use for several things.

    Also, as Marie said, no knife is a unitasker.

  11. posted by laura m. on

    I do have a 10 inch knife for water melon and large cantelopes; I’ve had it for over 10 yrs; don’t forget to keep all your knives sharp. Restaurant supplies and Sam’s have them. They have white plastic handles. Otherwise, I use forged stainless knives for everyday food prep.

  12. posted by christopher on

    It kind of makes sense. How many things do I cut in the kitchen that are 14 inches across? Often even my bread knife won’t make it to the other side of a large watermelon and then I get slices with multiple cuts on the edges. Great idea.

  13. posted by Sue on

    I have a dedicated tomato knife, I admit. But I didn’t know I also needed a dedicated watermelon knife. What about fall squash and pumpkins? Do they make a knife specifically for those?

  14. posted by Viv on

    We have a friend who’s a chef and he says he can always tell the amateurs by the number of extra knives they have. He helped us pick out three good knives, and that’s all we use.

  15. posted by AndrewL on

    @Sue,

    Yes, they do make special tools for pumpkins ;-)

    http://www.pumpkinmasters.com/default.asp

  16. posted by JustGail on

    I just use our big serated knife. I need to cut from both sides, but it does the job. Now if I bought a lot of watermelons and was fussy about perfectly cut slices, I might consider this. But while the marketing might be unitasker directed, I would use it on other things too. If I really liked it, I’d replace another knife or two with it. The same knife does pumpkins also, but some winter squashes need the heavier chef’s knife.

    re: grapefruit spoons – they are great for removing the stems from strawberries too.

  17. posted by Courtney on

    I’m a HUGE fan of watermelon (I buy at least one a week when they’re in season. I use either a straight or serrated knife.

    Of course, the best thing about watermelons is the wide variety of ways with which they can be dispatched. We buy 8-10 of them for our annual karate picnic. You don’t even NEED a knife. We destroy them with ax kicks, knife-hand chops, elbows, katanas, bokken (wooden sword), a wooden bo (staff), or sometimes we just throw them as hard as we can. They’re also handy for explosives and shooting practice, if you’re so inclined.

    Watermelons are fun things. Why limit yourself to one specialized knife?

  18. posted by JC on

    I once brought a watermelon to a large picnic. I forgot to bring a large knife so I ended up cutting the thing up with a 2″ penknife.

  19. posted by Ellis Godard on

    A knife just for watermelons? That’s almost as special as a dish only for microwaving s’mores:
    http://www.x-tremegeek.com/mic.....maker.html

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