Ask Unclutterer: Is texting clutter?
Reader Allen submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:
I recently received my T-Mobile bill for this month and my text message sent count was 14,657. I mean, thank god for unlimited texting, but it seems like texting might be cluttering my life, or cluttering my mind too much? What do you think, should I cut back on my excessive texting (yes, I admit it) or should I just continue?
I receive questions similar to this one all the time — How many shoes should I own? Should I own a car? How many sets of silverware is too many? Am I sending too many e-mails?
The truth of the matter is that only you know what is clutter in your life. Only you know if texting is distracting you from focusing on what really matters to you. Only you can weigh the positive and negative effects texting is having on your life. This is not a decision I can make for you.
Texting is certainly keeping you in touch with someone — friends, family, co-workers. And, if these people matter to you and keeping a close relationship with them is one of your priorities, then constant texting might not be clutter.
On the other hand, if texting is replacing a deeper relationship with these people, all the texting would be clutter. Additionally, it might be prohibiting you from focusing on people you’re with in the present, because you’re constantly looking at your phone.
Assuming it takes you on average 30 seconds to send a text, you spent a little more than 122 hours last month texting. If there are 720 hours per month, and you slept for 240 of those, you were probably awake about 480 hours last month. So, if you were writing texts 122 of 480 hours, about a quarter of your waking time was spent sending texts. And, since this doesn’t include reading texts from people who write back to you or thinking about your response, it’s possible texting is consuming half your waking life.
Are you okay with this? Would you rather be spending half of your waking time hanging out with these people, face-to-face, instead? Would you rather be spending half of your waking time focused on something else beside staring at your phone? Do you have a job? Do you go to school? Is there anything else you need to be doing or want to be doing?
Like I said earlier, only you know if texting is cluttering up your time. Determine what it is you really want out of life, and then work to clear the distractions that get in the way of the life you desire. If texting is cluttering up your time, you can change your behavior to reduce the amount of texts you send and receive. Turn off your cell phone when you’re doing what really matters to you. Send texts to people only when it is convenient for you and when it advances your life’s priorities.
Thank you, Allen, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.
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25 comments posted
Posted by JCos - 11/19/2010
How does somebody get to 14,657 texts in a month? When I was dating this girl and we texted a lot(along with texts to friends), I only got to maybe 2,200 which is still a lot to me. 14,657, wow. Not trying to judge, just wondering.
Posted by ninakk - 11/19/2010
Holy cow. That’s almost 500 text messages per day. I send maybe two or three a day and feel annoyed if it borders on ten (which feels like clutter to me as it’s time away from “better” things to do and then I also have to clean up the phone inbox once in a while, usually done only at airports when there’s nothing better to do).
Posted by J - 11/19/2010
Erin, in my opinion your “ask unclutterer” columns are your very best. You are professional but compassionate, and offer a methodical breakdown of the problem – which is half the battle toward thinking about solutions in an organized way. It is like sitting down with a good and wise friend.
Posted by MJK - 11/19/2010
Th is a lot of texting, and I like that fact the you broke it down the way you did. Hopefully the person who wrote in will take it to heart and really evaluate what their time means to them!
Posted by Flynnycat - 11/19/2010
Personally, text messaging drives me absolutely nuts. My now-husband spent a tremendous amount of time in our early days together receiving text messages from a clingy ex-girlfriend. I still get upset when I think about the number of times he whipped out that stupid phone when were together to answer her and help her solve all her crises. I think if you want to talk to someone, call them and get it over with. Texting just drags things on forever. And, as was already stated, it takes you away from whoever you are physically with at the moment, which, in my opinion, is extremely rude.
Posted by amybee - 11/19/2010
Another thing to consider would be if the writer is texting while talking face-to-face with others. Is he/she present in the moment, or multitasking to the point of not communicating well with anyone?
Posted by Claire - 11/19/2010
As an experiment, perhaps you should try talking to the other party in person instead of texting. It would create a more personal relationship, and if how you spend your time is important, give you more practice in editing. Learning to edit is a skill which every ”Unclutterer” needs. Do I think you should continue? Since you asked the question, doesn’t 14,657 seem excessive to you? How does that many texts Seriously advance your life’s priorities? I’m not interested in being judgmental, but this seems more like an addiction than anything else. The number alone should be a red flag waving wildly to enter a 12-step program, rather than somehow justifying the premise that texting is keeping you in touch with someone. It seems narcissistic, with none of the personal involved.
Posted by Irulan - 11/19/2010
@JCos: Allen’s astronomical number of texts probably came from sending to and receiving replies from multiple people at the same time, like reply-all on an email. So his actual time texting is probably less than the estimate above.
That said, if he’s concerned that he texts too much, then he texts too much.
Posted by Dusie - 11/19/2010
Generally, the number of texts on your bill is the number of sent AND received, so probably the number of hours is actually closer to half of what is stated here. Still a lot, still a problem, but just pointing that out for clarity’s sake.
And as a counterpoint to the cluttering of texts, I like texting (although, I have 250/mo [sending & receiving] and tend to use about half that) because it de-clutters my life from phone calls. I can respond when I have the time, I can respond during times when a phone call would be rude, I can not respond at all. In moderation, I think texting can be considered an unclutterer!
Posted by Ann - 11/19/2010
“Really?”
Texting and the internet are wonderful and horrible, in my opinion. Often ruins productivity in my industry and takes people away from “in the moment” connections.
However, texting is the only way my son and I can communicate with civility. I’d rather have a conversation with him via text than never hear from him at all.
But I never text or surf the internet around my husband. It would be rude.
Posted by Lete - 11/19/2010
14,000 texts? that’s absurd. there’s so much else you can be doing with that time. i think the best way to cut back on texting is to set rules such as no texting before breakfast, or no texting when you’re in a meeting or having a face-to-face conversation. i think you’ll realize that you can keep up with your friends and cut back on texting. i probably send 500/month, not 500/day, and i have never felt like i’m missing out (i’m in my early 20s and make 90% of my plans via text).
Posted by Karen - 11/19/2010
I don’t have unlimited texting on my phone. I don’t text anyone. I either call them, or email them if it’s not an urgent matter.
I’m a landlord. When my renters want to contact me they either call my cell phone–we got rid of our landline–for an emergency, or email (non emergency). Today I got an odd text from my renter, “It’s official, we can text now!” I seriously wonder if she intends to use that for contact now, but if she wants to she should have asked first; if you don’t have unlimited texting on a phone it costs you money to receive each text.
I think texting is weird. It has the immediacy of a phone call, but with the impersonal nature of an email.
Posted by Christine - 11/19/2010
I checked my phone bill online and found that I sent/received 42 text messages last month. And I consider myself a person who has a lot of friends and I always have exciting things planned on the weekend.
I definitely think that texting is clutter if the majority of one’s time is spent doing it. Not to mention, when I am with friends and they are texting I find it irritating. The focus should be on the people you are with, not on people in cyberspace.
Posted by katt - 11/19/2010
Texting is a great tool if used correctly. Personally, I rather get text than voicemail because its faster to read than go thru hearing voicemail. Also, u can pick and choose what msg to read versus getting voicemail in chronological order.
Posted by Zen friend - 11/19/2010
I agree with J, Erin, about the quality of your “Ask Unclutterer” columns. This one was right on the money.
Like Katt, I find receiving text messages less time-consuming than voicemail for quick questions, and responses: “I’m running late”, “Thanks for picking up milk,” etc.
But I do have younger friends who feel they must respond to every, “What’s up? I’m really bored right now” message or risk offending the sender. Several high school students have told me, only half kidding, that they are addicted to texting.
As others have said, techno/information clutter is insidious, particularly when it initially seems to make life run more smoothly.
Posted by Anna - 11/19/2010
I prefer a text to a phone message left on voicemail, it is more efficient and cheaper for me to retrieve (free v’s 15c to access voicemail). Otherwise I am not a fan of texting – it is just too hard to get all the details without doing multiple texts, a phone call is much easier.
It all comes down to habits I guess – if you can’t stop texting when you should be working/studying/driving/are with someone then you have a problem.
I find it so rude when people text or check their phone when I am having coffee with them – are they waiting for a better offer? It is presumptuous and arrogant to think that you are so important that you simply must be contactable at all times. Answering a call is different – so long as it doesn’t turn into a long chit-chat whilst I have to sit awkwardly waiting.
Posted by Leah - 11/20/2010
what the what??? I think that is excessive, even if it is 1/8 your waking life!
Posted by Ann - 11/20/2010
Anna, I completely agree that it’s rude to leave somebody awkwardly waiting while you text back and forth casually. However, I don’t see a phone call as any different, and they usually take more time, especially if you have to listen to a voice mail.
My husband travels often internationally, so we usually text instead of calling, for short messages (otherwise, we Skype or email). So if I were out with somebody and received a text, I would probably read it just to make sure it wasn’t an urgent text from him or one of our kids (especially since if he’s out of the country, they would only have me to contact in an emergency). I think it’s important, though, to apologize and make it very brief.
On the other hand, I get very few texts, so if I received texts constantly, I’d probably find a different way to handle it. It would help if cell phone companies would make it easier for customers to customize how they receive calls, texts, and messages. I only have a cell phone–no land line–and marketers and wrong numbers often wake me, because I leave my phone on in case my family needs to contact me. But my current phone won’t allow me to block calls selectively, so I’m searching for a phone that will allow me to do that, as well as customize alerts from various contacts (muting most, with special tones for family).
Posted by Sue - 11/20/2010
I think Allen also needs to ask himself where he is and what he’s doing while sending nearly 15,000 text messages a month. That’s right. That was his “sent” count, not total sent and received.
Is he texting while driving?
Is he texting in meetings or class or while he should be working or studying?
Is he texting while out with friends?
If he drives and texts he needs to stop that behavior immediately. Put the phone in the trunk or completely out of reach. Please, for the sake of every other driver, bicyclist, and pedestrian out there.
If he’s texting while he should be productive, then he needs to turn his phone off and let himself work or study without the constant interruptions. I work with people who seem to be always staring at their phone while at their desk. And it’s clear they aren’t doing their jobs well.
If he’s texting while out with friends, he should take a look at their faces and see if it’s totally annoying to them that he’s not entirely there. Maybe they’re texting too. Maybe they’re angry because the conversation is constantly being interrupted, or it seems like Allen isn’t paying attention.
If he’s doing most of his texting in his downtime, then he needs to ask himself if that’s how he wants to spend his downtime.
Posted by Jackie K. - 11/20/2010
Fantastic response Erin! I love that you quantified the actual time spent texting relative to the day/week. That should be a real wake up call. I think that it’s a good idea to use this example in any time management presentation, especially for teens, college students and the younger working professionals since texting is the new norm for communication (unfortunately). I also agree with the other poster that the Ask column is some of your best work.
Posted by Handy Man, Crafty Woman - 11/20/2010
I *just* don’t understand the appeal of texting!! I can barely keep up with my emails and my blog. I don’t want to get sucked in, so I stay away…there are only so many hours in the day.
Plus, I get really irritated when I’m with a friend, in person, trying to TALK, and he or she is constantly texting, texting, texting during our converstaion. Or people that bring phones to the DINNER table and read TEXTS while they are eating. Enough already!!
Posted by Handy Man, Crafty Woman - 11/20/2010
that would be “conversation”, sorry.
Posted by SarahM - 11/22/2010
Personally, I think texting is wonderful. My dearest, best friend lives halfway across the country, and sending each other texts every so often throughout the day helps keep us connected (and I am polite and do not do so in the company of others). It is easy and inexpensive and a great way for us to help maintain and reinforce our connection. We do talk on the phone and visit whenever we can, but even phone calls can become quite expensive (whereas it is easy enough to add unlimiting texting packages to a cell phone plan, we both have different cell phone carriers, and mine only allows for “free” minutes on nights and weekends). As you can imagine, we text quite a lot, but neither of us would ever view our texting conversations as “clutter” – like any other technology, it all depends on how you use it and what you use it for.
Posted by Lisa Zaslow - 11/22/2010
Great point, Sue, about when and where this texting is taking place.
If one is texting while doing something like riding a bus or waiting on line in the post office, it can be a great way to “layer” activities. There are certain activities which can be done simultaneously without a loss of effectiveness.
However, if the texting is being done while in a meeting, in class, at the dinner table, at work, etc. that is another story.
Additionally, if something thinks that some of their texts might be important or urgent, this means that they have to read every one they receive (and will probably do so ASAP) to see if it falls in the important/urgent category.
Better to call in case of emergency.
Posted by Amy - 11/23/2010
Last evening I happened upon Martin Scorsese’s documentary, Public Speaking, about writer, Fran Lebowitz. It was really witty. She was talking about technology and she made a good point. She does not have a cell phone and was saying that not being sucked in, she notices what others are doing around her on the streets of NYC. As expected, a lot of people are walking around texting, riding a bus and texting, etc. She said when you are texting you are not where you “are” you are in your phone. She said that she is one of the only people in NYC actually having the experience of walking down the street. I can’t help but think that all of this texting, and even walking while talking, cuts into our life experience somehow.
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