Unclutterer

1. Posted by Aslaug - 08/12/2010

   My dream house is a yellow or pink cottage on a little island in Florida, preferably 2 bedroom so I can have overnight visitors and less than a stone’s throw from the beach. A small patio would be nice.

2. Posted by julia - 08/12/2010

   At 37 I bought my first – and probably last – house when I relocated back to my home state. For a single person, it was a nightmare. I simply couldn’t keep ahead of the things “the house” needed. I was a nightmare of a neighbor because the hedges and lawn were always overgrown, and I dreaded snow because of the shoveling. When I relocated again it took six months for the place to sell.

   Until that time I had thought of owning a house as “security.” Now I know better. For someone like me – single, no children, decidedly un-handy – a house (even a small one) is likely to be a burden, primarily because of maintenance.

   These days when I hear a lawnmower start up, or in the winter when it snows, I can smile and enjoy the season, rather than think of the work I have to get done before/after I go to my job.

3. Posted by irishbell - 08/12/2010

   I think wanting/having the house, the yard, and all that gets a bad rap these days. I’ve never lived (or wanted to)in an apartment. When I moved out as a 19/20 yr old, I rented a house. I could not reconcile the idea of living in an apt/apt building. The idea made me feel hemmed in, like I didn’t have room to move, so it never appealed to me. Now, in my 50′s I still enjoy living in a home, my yard, my garden etc. However, I can see myself as I get older wanting to live in a condo/otherwise maintained home (in another 15 years or so). I definitely will not want to have to maintain everything- it is lots of work. Luckily, we have the ambition/energy and means to maintain it all now, but I know that won’t last forever! Different strokes and all that.

4. Posted by Kornkob - 08/12/2010

   One point: pointing at homeowner’s insurance as a reason not to own is hardly relevant— unless you decide to rent without getting renter’s insurance, which can leave you having to start over in a catastrophe.

5. Posted by Aslaug - 08/12/2010

   @Kornkob: Having both rented and owned, I can assure you that homeowners insurance is much much higher than renters insurance!

6. Posted by Eddie - 08/12/2010

   Not sure if this is about owning a BIG HOME, or home ownership! You bounced around a bit. But home ownership is probably one of the best decisions you can make (if you can make it). As you do grow older, yes your dreams will change and that BIG house becomes a bit smaller but still a good thing. I agree with bigger house comes bigger bills… heck that’s with anything though. Bigger car, bigger gas to drive it, bigger maintenance, etc. My take is home ownership is up to the individual – I agree with Irishbell.. different strokes… peace

7. Posted by silksteel - 08/12/2010

   I currently live in a studio apartment in a large hotel (in which I currently work) and even though there’s barely room to move and certainly nowhere for guests, it’s definitely my dream home. Not only can it be cleaned in less than an hour, but I’ve got everything I need just downstairs.

   Oddly enough, when I was a kid, living in a hotel was indeed my dream – inspired by the movie Dunstan Checks In. Though I doubt I’ll always love having my kitchen in my bedroom or being on call for work 24/7, for now, at 23 and single, it’s just perfect.

8. Posted by Erin Doland - 08/12/2010

   @Kornkob — At least in the US, a home owner’s insurance policy is a few thousand a year. A renter’s insurance policy is a couple hundred. It’s a huge difference, especially over the long-term.

9. Posted by Susanne - 08/12/2010

   And then there are people like me who didn’t want the big house or the yard because I found out that I dislike both house- and yardwork, and then they meet the man of their dreams and then move into the big house that belongs to his family, and all of a sudden you have a huge house, and a huge yard. We live here because we don’t have to pay any rent, and since we’re musicians we need to live at a place where we can make music without disturbing the neighbors. The plus is that it’s resonably cheap, it’s big, and we can do our work in peace (also work from home which isn’t easy for music teachers).

   The down side just came to my attendance this morning again when we had to dismantle half the bathtub to find out why it’s leaking. Fun times!

10. Posted by Amanda - 08/12/2010

    Along the different strokes line, I wanted to give an example.

    I bought a house in May 2009 and one of the biggest concerns I had was the location of my house and its proximity to work. I love my job, it loves me and I don’t like driving. I live in a downtown area of the city and many coworkers asked why I didn’t pick a house in the surrounding ‘burbs. The commute is why, now I can walk to work, which is one of the first things I tell people about my house. I live in a city with several small parks, so I still get the great outdoors, and go home for lunch if I want.

11. Posted by Jen - 08/12/2010

    @Kornkob – homeowner’s insurance is also much lower on a smaller home than on a huge mansion, so that’s another reason to consider owning a smaller home. (I don’t think Erin is necessarily advocating the idea that home ownership is for suckers, just that the fairytale idea of owning a huge mansion is not all it’s cracked up to be, when the alternative of owning a smaller home can be quite satisfying.)

    I, too, like the idea that we did not have to buy a baby monitor since we can hear anything and everything our son does from anywhere in our modestly sized house. I’m not sure I’ll continue to like that as he gets older, but we’ll see how that goes!

    Erin – don’t forget that real estate taxes on a big home are also very high. In the NYC area, on a very large home, one can pay upwards of $30k (or more) per year, and that’s not even for those fancy “estates” that are on several acres. There are people whose incomes don’t even cover the taxes on these places.

12. Posted by PW - 08/12/2010

    I have lived in homes, apartments and condos. All have pluses and minuses. I liked all and they all fit my lifestyle at the time. Needs change. And they will again as I get closer to “older”. Problems with condos and apartments is dealing with people living on top of you and their behaviors. Some are rude, loud, demanding, dirty and others quite pleasant. In a house you have enough space to not endure all the weird behaviours encountered in group living. Usually. Even some homeowners have neighbor problems. Usually Condos are much harder to sell then homes. And if you add on the monthly assessements and extra common area repairs, such as roof replacements, management fees, it quickly adds up to more then homeowner insurance and other costs. I got stuck owing $15,000 for a new condo roof 1 year, then the next year another $15,000 for new window replacements in the common area and it was not an older building. I chose a condo without a pool, community building, workout room etc. just to avoid those extra costs.

13. Posted by Liz - 08/12/2010

    We live in a 1,000sf condo, and we love it.

    When we first made the leap to ownership from rentals, we considered houses, but nothing in our price range was ready to live in, and while we can hang a picture, we’re not *that* handy. Our condo fees cover all the utilities, maintenance and insurance (we pay to insure contents only), our building is financially and physically well maintained, and our expenses are fixed (small increases in fees every year coincides with cost of living).

    We do not have a green thumb or a need for a yard and a garden, or that burning ‘pride of ownership’ desire, we just love that we own something that is easy. We have underground parking (a blessing in Canada), and we’re equidistant from my husband’s and my workplaces. No worries about roof or window repairs, lawn care or upkeep. Just our little space, from the drywall in, to love as we see fit.

    When we first moved in, I think we both thought that the condo would be the stepping stone to a house someday, but three years in we have decided otherwise. We love living small, we love living maintenance and worry free. Kids aren’t in the picture – and may never be – so the space suits us perfectly, and could potentially always.

    It’s important, as the post states, to consider what is right for *you*, not what society or childhood dreams may dictate. Find *your* home, and make it your home, whatever it is that makes you happy.

14. Posted by Erin Doland - 08/12/2010

    @Jen — Ha! You’re correct, I don’t think home ownership is for suckers. We own a house — all 1,300 sq ft of it. Although, it wouldn’t be the first time I’d called myself a sucker

15. Posted by Bec - 08/12/2010

    A few months into our relationship my boyfriend and I drew our dream house, it was huge with guest suites, games rooms, the lot! These days it would be such a different story, it’s funny how much one can change and I’m proud of how far we’ve come.

16. Posted by Sherri - 08/12/2010

    I love my yard, but I dream of ripping out the grass and planting perennials instead, or just increasing the size of the garden. I hate lawns, and all the maintenance that goes with them.

    My house is a 3 bedroom bungalow, with a full finished basement, and it’s too big sometimes. Especially now that I’m paring down the items I own. I’m beginning to miss my old college apartment.

17. Posted by Julia - 08/12/2010

    I’m pretty sure that no one here, particularly Erin, has suggested that one size fits all. I think what she DID suggest was that before you step into something you’ve dreamed about, make sure your dreams have some relationship to the person you’ve become.

    Which is wise for most decisions, I think.

    My post was mostly to illustrate what happens when you don’t do that.

18. Posted by Miss Minimalist - 08/12/2010

    My husband and I met in college, and started out in a 400-square-foot studio apartment.

    Fast forward several years, and we had worked our way up to a 1000-square-foot, 3-bedroom house. That might not sound like much space to most people, but it was large for us minimalists (too large, in fact).

    Now, nine moves later, we have come full-circle back to a 400-square-foot apartment. And it feels just right.

19. Posted by Vanessa H. - 08/12/2010

    It’s really easy to feel pressured into buying before you are ready. This post is a good reminder to make sure you are doing what *you* want!

20. Posted by Shalin - 08/12/2010

    This is an earnest post and great follow-up commentary to the “Hedonic adaptation: Why buying more won’t make you happy” post a couple days ago – thanks Erin

    I’m a handy guy and would love to do fire up my tools every weekend, but with the unexpected and frequency of maintenance for a house in North Texas – I can’t say I’m “happy” about it. After spending some more time and money to make minor fixes and make the place low maintenance, I’ll have much more time and less worry to really look at my house as a canvas for clever home design/decor ideas that work well for me and for resale value.

    Questioning the “8-year-old dreams” is soo underrated – I think I still have a “dream house” design I made when I was in middle school. Let’s just say I’m a lot more about quality than quantity these days – and thus a big fan of this blog

    Best,
    Shalin

21. Posted by Shalin - 08/12/2010

    Also…I really think that there must be great alternatives out there to the storied security and status of home ownership. And that the classic “American Dream” should probably be updated to simply be “to live where and how you desire and be financially healthy”. …maybe this can be explored further in another post or forum topic.

    –S

22. Posted by Johnny - 08/12/2010

    We’re hunting for our first house now, and I’ve been trying to steer our agent towards smaller houses. 2500+ square feet looks great, but with our schedules, I cringe at the thought of all the time cleaning and maintaining a bigger house. After long hours at work, the last thing I want to do is upkeep a big house.

23. Posted by Karen - 08/12/2010

    My husband and I currently live in an 812 square foot condo (two bed, 1 bath). His two kids stay with us three weekends a month and share the second bedroom.

    We thought a bigger house would be the answer but were glad that we couldn’t afford one and are still in our condo.

    We will move from the condo when the kids have moved out (about four years) and we will be in our early 40′s.

    We do want a house but if it happened to be the same size of our condo we would be incredibly happy with that.

    We are currently on the ground floor and I have a small yard. I always wanted a big yard full of clowers and am glad I have had the opportunity to take care of our small yard because in reality, I want to smell the roses, not mulch and weed them all the time!

    I am huge in to interior design and new to minimalism so combining the two is a challenge. But, with less square footage – less $$$$.

    It all comes down to doing what works for you.

24. Posted by Sue - 08/12/2010

    The large home dream has been responsible for the destruction of the landscape and suburban sprawl. People pursue this dream to the detriment of our shared natural resources, and in many cases our quality of life, as we are forced to move farther and farther away from our employment to achieve this dream.

    That’s the interesting part of it – people think life will be better in the large house but it often isn’t. Their bills are higher – from the tax bill to the utilities to the cost of gas to commute the greater distance to their jobs. They are either paying a lot for someone else to clean the house and maintain the yard, or they are spending a lot of time doing it themselves. They are forced to make job choices to support that house, and many are so stretched to the financial limit that a cut in pay or loss of job can mean catastrophe. They are also forced to spend a large chunk of their lives commuting.

    I wish more people would truly think about their choices.

    I’m not one who does well in multi-family housing. Being able to hear my neighbors disrupts me. I don’t think I slept well through my entire 6 years of college and grad school because college dorms and apartments are never quiet. I didn’t sleep well when I moved in with my husband in his condo. The walls were paper thin and the people who lived above us were heavy walkers, TV blasters, and screamers.

    That said, I never wanted the huge house. I just wanted a stand alone house so I could sleep. I found a modest house in an older neighborhood with a large-ish lot (helps to buffer the noise from neighbors), within walking distance of a train station that takes me to work. Perfect!

25. Posted by Meg - 08/12/2010

    I grew up in a very large, old house and long dreamed of having one of my own. Not anymore! I’m completely over the idea now that I know what it takes to keep up a house and have realized that there are better uses of my time then going from room to room to room.

    The 1800 sq. ft. house I live in now often seems a bit too large. Perhaps I’ll downsize just a little one day. I do like open space like I have now, but I wouldn’t mind a little cottage in the woods. I don’t think I’d want to live in a condo or apartment again, though. They feel a lot smaller when you can hear your neighbors and vice versa.

26. Posted by SR - 08/12/2010

    This was a great post; every once in a while, we need to take a good look at how our adult decisions are influenced by the dreams of our inner child.

    On the big house/small house point: Layout is everything. I live in a 1,600 sq ft house. This would be more than enough space for us if the layout weren’t so silly. It has a central staircase, so much of the square footage is eaten up by useless hall space and the rooms are smaller than they need to be. An intelligently designed 1000-sq ft house would be infinitely better than our hall-dominated 1600 sq footer.

27. Posted by Annie - 08/12/2010

    Our family of 4 lives in a 2,200 sq. foot house that we bought 3 years ago. In that time, we’ve painted, installed a sliding glass door, converted the wood fireplace to gas, installed a new garage door and opener, and replaced light fixtures, windows, and carpet. Some of those things were by choice, others by necessity. Owning a home can be quite the hassle and a drain on finances. There is always maintenance that needs to be done. My husband spends a considerable amount of time on yard work (although he seems to enjoy that). I love our house and it is wonderful for our family, but if I was single, there is no way I would take on the responsibility of a large house.

28. Posted by Brian - 08/12/2010

    My wife and I learned this lesson the hard way. We bought a (relatively modest) house about two years ago and quickly learned that housework, yardwork, and having a huge mortgage over our heads are not for us. But we can’t escape from it without taking a big loss due to the down housing market. As my wife puts it, it’s a choice between the “slow bleed” of making a big mortgage payment every month (which for now mostly goes towards interest and the mortgage interest deduction turns out to be not all that great when you look at actual dollars saved), or selling the house now and taking the hit all at once. Also, we can’t rent it for what we owe each month, so renting it is just a slower bleed.

29. Posted by GardenGirl - 08/12/2010

    Interesting post. I don’t remember what kind of houses I drew as a kid, if I drew those as a kid. (I drew a lot; I just don’t remember what.)

    I bought my first house (the one I’m now getting ready to sell) 19 years ago, at age 30. It’s 1700 square feet, which is bigger than I initially thought I wanted, but it was a good purchase for me. It has 3 bedrooms, one of which is an office (about 100 sq ft), and one of which has had various uses over the years (it currently doubles as library and weight-training room). Other than having almost no counter space in the kitchen, this house has a decent layout.

    I live in the city, on a 0.1-acre lot. I’ve turned most of the back yard into gardens.

    I’m not sure how much longer I’d be living here if the neighborhood were still friendly & quiet, as it was when I moved in. Maybe I’d be ready for a change anyway.

    I’m fine with getting a smaller house *if* it has a good, open layout. Not tiny, but smaller. I work at home and I get claustrophobic, so having some wide open space is important to me. That goes for the yard, too. I’m willing to pay someone to mow a bigger lawn if it means I get more peace and quiet and have more buffer space from loud neighbors.

    I lived in apartments before buying my house, and was often frustrated by landlord neglect of repairs. And I don’t enjoy hearing my neighbors stomping around. So it’ll probably be a long time before I give up living in a house and switch to a condo, townhouse, or apartment — even though owning and maintaining a house can be difficult for me as a single woman. I’m handy at painting, caulking, and landscaping, but not at making any but the simplest of repairs.

    Gotta pick your trade-offs, I guess.

30. Posted by Guy Towers - 08/12/2010

    @Brian you said it perfectly. I don’t see any reason why I would ever want to carry a huge mortgage and have to maintain a huge house that my kids will one day leave, and leave empty.
    Like George Carlin put it, people need big houses to keep all their stuff. And when you get a bigger house, you need more stuff.

31. Posted by TMichelle - 08/12/2010

    We always lived in condos or apartments before our first-single family home. We bought it because the condos we wanted were almost as expensive as the single-family homes. It was a HUGE hassle. We were constantly updating it, new kitchen, new floors, finish basement, add a bathroom. It took us about 9 months to sell total with one re-listing. We are SO glad we are out of there and living in a fabulous top floor corner end unit apartment. Now when my husband gets home he doesn’t have to mow the lawn, he just has to take the baby to the swimming pool.

    If we decide we want to buy again, we’ll probably be looking for something like what my-inlaws have. A small open duplex/condo.

32. Posted by Mark - 08/12/2010

    I’m into uncluttering, but strongly disagree with this post. We lost being in a house, and we love our yard – I enjoy getting outside to work in it (lawn, trees, and veggie beds) – I love playing in the grass with my daughter, or having her run to the patio door in the mornings begging to go pick tomatoes or blueberries, or check on the other fruit/veggies. We live in California (not rural), and our home insurance is ~$600/year… 2400 sq ft house in a non-cheap area, so I’m puzzled about where the “thousands” comes from? (Property tax IS expensive, though, unfortunately).

    There are lots of trade-offs in housing choices, for sure, but these are very individual. I wouldn’t trade this for an apartment any day!

33. Posted by Mark - 08/12/2010

    sorry that should be “love”, not lost, in the 2nd sentence!

34. Posted by chacha1 - 08/12/2010

    DH and I live in a 1500 sf 2 BR 2 BA apartment. The only things wrong with it for the long term are 1) I don’t want to retire in this city, and 2) I can’t have a real garden.

    We actually have more space than we need. When we first hooked up I would draw “dream house” floor plans of up to 3000 sf. The last one I think was under 1500. As time has passed it has become clear that we will not be buying a house to live in during our working years – we’ll be buying for retirement. So we won’t need multiple cars, we won’t need a home office, we won’t need the studio/gym/dance floor space that we would if we were buying a home now for living and working in.

    Very important to review one’s dreams from time to time, to see if the old dream still matches the new values.

35. Posted by Rae - 08/12/2010

    I used to dream of owning a big ol’ gothic Victorian mansion–a house with turrets and many rooms to get lost in. I worked towards my dream by going bigger and bigger. First a studio apartment, then a one bedroom, then a bigger one bedroom, then a 750 square foot two bedroom, then a 1,000 square foot two bedroom.

    The bigger I went, the more stuff was needed to fill the home and the longer it took to clean it. Never mind the exterior maintenance. I discovered that I basically lived lived in four rooms–the study, the bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen and that the rest of the space was mostly storage or ‘for show.’

    So, I downsized to a home that lets me live spaciously in the four rooms that are most important to me and gives me a chance to enjoy great amenities like a pool or jacuzzi when I want them. Cleaning my home inside and out now takes a couple of hours, my possessions have been curated to only the most beloved and necessary, and I suddenly have a ton of time on my hand.

    Small is definitely better for me. I live in a 120 square foot RV now and can’t imagine myself ever again living in a house bigger than a couple hundred square feet.

36. Posted by Carol - 08/12/2010

    I love this article!

    When I was growing up I wanted a huge house. I thought it needed to have a formal living room and dining room because that’s what I grew up with and my parents made it sound like a necessity. Now that I’m older I realize I hate cleaning and I resent having to spend my free time taking care of a “too large” house/yard.

    Right now I’m renting a duplex because I hate the idea of an actual apartment. I’d love to own a home someday but it’s important that the home be “right sized” for me. No more formal living room/dining room. No dedicated guest bedrooms that go unused for years at a time. A small yard that’s easier to maintain would be ideal. I still oogle the big dream houses but I also know in reality that they aren’t right for me.

37. Posted by s - 08/12/2010

    My boyfriend and I are moving into a 1300 SF apartment together as we speak (I’m pooped from unpacking!). It’s a joy to have a space the right size for our stuff. And it’s good incentive to reduce stuff, too.

    On a related topic to the post, about living up to childhood dreams, it was a revelation to me, when I was in my mid-20s and my then-boyfriend asked if I really wanted to have kids. I realized that my answer was, “no.” I had never really thought of it as an option before, but I’ve been happy with that choice all this time.

    Everyone’s choices are their own.

38. Posted by Coyote Hunetr - 08/12/2010

    My wife and I own a 2900 sq. ft. McMansion. Call it a smallish McMansion with 4 BR, a furniture gallery (living room), a DR used but 4-5 times a year, a MBR that is too big, two other BR that are smaller, and one BR that is dinky. And the 3-car garage, and an unfinished basement for my table saw, jointer, chop saw, etc.

    Downsizing is my dream. My wife will have none of it since grandkids arrive every other weekend along with their parents. And she tends all of the gardens with some help from me. She would never surrender either house nor all of the posies, bushes, ornamental grasses, oak trees, and … fill in the blanks.

    So after raising two children in modest homes we now own a big one that serves as a part time hotel.

    My only solace is that we don’t keep a lot of “stuff.”

    Anybody out there have a suggestion about how to transition from living in :High Mortgage Heights” into say … big boat, say in Seattle?

    Trapped in Denver

39. Posted by Elaine - 08/12/2010

    When I was in 7th grade or so, the art teacher gave us the following assignment: draw where you want to live. The other kids all prepared extravagant house plans featuring home theaters, gyms, pools, etc. When it was my turn I had to show my work: a community with parks, schools, downtown, public transportation, etc. Although at the time I thought I’d completed the assignment “wrong,” today I’m a city planner; go figure.

40. Posted by Val - 08/12/2010

    Love this article – I think it’s great when you can take a step back to think about why we do all the things in life that are “expected”. I would also put the typical spending for proms and weddings ($20,000 for one day!) or buying a car into this category. Looking back, there are so many purchases I’ve made without even thinking because it’s supposed to be the next step in life.

41. Posted by Susan - 08/12/2010

    We live on 40 acres with a 1300 square foot home in a rural area. Taxes = $3,300.00/year, homeowners insurance = $875.00/year. We are retired and our home is paid off. Its not necessary to mow a lawn although we mow about an acre around the house which is not visible from the road. Some folks have horses, sheep or cattle that do all the mowing. We may move to a condo when we become unable to take care of the place in our 80′s or 90′s.

42. Posted by Tiffany - 08/12/2010

    We recently sold our <1,000 sq ft condo and bought a 3900 sq ft rowhouse, because we decided that the new house was where we were going to live for at least the next 10 years and so it would have to accommodate what we need now (single-use office with a door that closes, more than one bathroom, more flexible kitchen/dining space) as well as what we reasonably anticipate needing in the foreseeable future (additional room for hypothetical future child, currently used as a guest room). But as Erin says, these are choices we have made, and there are tradeoffs that come with those choices.

    While we don't mind the upkeep of a bigger place (my husband actually enjoys mowing our modestly-sized lawn. I know I lucked out there), I'm definitely finding that I'm having to adjust my house upkeep habits to the larger space, and am trying to work out a room-a-day schedule that keeps the place at a day-to-day status of "could host guests on an hour's notice." On the other hand, my husband and I no longer feel like we're tripping over each other, and when one of us needs some alone time, we have somewhere to go to get it rather than trying to be alone in the one living space that the other person also has to occupy. So as I said… trade-offs.

43. Posted by Jeanne B. - 08/12/2010

    This post hit home for me. I grew up in a 3 BR 1.5 BA ranch in a lovely suburban neighborhood. I watched as friends and family members grew up, went to college, found spouses, acquired the requisite 3 BR 1.5 BA home in the suburbs or in the country, had children–all while I lived with parents attempting to find my career path, then living in apartments. I dreamed of the day I’d own my own 3 BR 1.5 BA, because, after all, that’s what I was supposed to do.

    Then I got one. And let me tell you, after a couple of years I was seriously questioning my decision. Now, I’m in an odd situation where I’m still paying the mortgage on the now-vacant and as of yet unsold home and living in my childhood home (after inheriting it). Both have lawns to be mowed, among other things.

    Did I mention I absolutely HATE mowing lawns, dislike yard and garden work of any kind, and have little inclination to plant flowers or food? I’m also still single with cats and nary a dog or child to run around in said yards.

    I don’t want one house to manage, let alone two. It’s as if life mocks me. I’ve come to the conclusion that in the right neighborhood, an apartment or townhouse will likely suit me far better than a detached 3 BR 1.5 in the burbs. I’ve also finally woken up to the reality that my personality doesn’t fit with the idea of farm life, even though I am a horse owner. Boarding suits me just fine.

44. Posted by Amandine - 08/12/2010

    Very interesting topic. My childhood dream was to live in the Brady Bunch house, complete with Mr. & Mrs. Brady for parents!

    Over the years I realized I really loved the charm of old houses, much like the circa-1900 one we live in now. We bought a fixer-upper with good bones, knowing we would work on it, bit by bit. After maintaining and improving “this old house” for 15 years, some of the charm was wearing a bit thin, and I began to fantasize about the low maintenance requirements of a newly-built house with brand new everything.

    After looking around at new houses over the summer, we found nothing that we loved as much as our house. Nothing could compare to the spaciousness and charm, so ultimately we realized that we were truly in the house of our dreams. It helped us put the negatives of our house into perspective.

    When the kids are grown, I’m sure we’ll downsize. At this point though, it’s perfect for us, even though still not completely finished.

45. Posted by Keter - 08/12/2010

    Nine years ago, when I was looking to buy my first house (single, very DIY-capable), I was actually looking for a smaller house (under 1600 square feet) in a good neighborhood…and a price tag under $150K. I found nothing but bad neighborhoods and serious latent defects. Then I looked at suburban MacMansions…where everything was over 2000 square feet of ugly, cheap construction. I ended up with weird concrete house that was bigger (2400 sq ft) and many miles farther out than I wanted, but had a lake in the front yard and didn’t have a “yard” – just nature. I definitely made the right choice in the floorplan, because I only use half of the house when someone is visiting – otherwise, I can shut one door and close it off. When I drive through the neighborhoods of MacMansions, I see nothing but waste.

46. Posted by Lee - 08/12/2010

    Amandine, I think that the Brady Bunch lifestyle looked quite lovely because of the ever present, capable, and smiling housekeeper. Who knows how well Mr. and Mrs. Brady would have done.

    In our city, moving to the suburbs and then to each newer and larger and farther out taupe house was to show status – “ours is bigger so it looks like we’re doing better”. These are milestone houses, not necessarily what people need or can afford. We didn’t feel the pull. Our late life move out of the central city was due to the emotional trauma of crime (some at gunpoint) that we experienced. No place is safe, but I honestly needed a different environment.

    Early in our marriage, we considered a downtown loft. I wanted my children to be in an area where there were neighbor children to play with. Most who chose this area were childless. That’s just how our city was. For those who have children, living in a school district where children are safe and can receive a good education is a priority, unless they have enough money to choose private school. Many sacrifice to use private schools.

    This is an aspect of life where role modeling and discussing priorities and needs is an important job for parents. If parents have a shift toward realizing that they can live with less but aren’t able to move, they can discuss why they are doing it so children may make decisions based on basic needs rather than imagined needs and status purchases. Eliminating “birthday extravaganzas” is a good place to start, which may make future weddings more pared down.

    I used to draw big houses as a child, but when I was quite small, I dreamed of replacing the bathroom tub with a bed and living there. There’s a certain appeal to cozy and efficient. You just have to be able to stop growing.

47. Posted by Meredith - 08/12/2010

    For us, a big house works well. (Not a McMansion, but a 100-year-old house with five bedrooms, two and a half baths.)

    At one time, we lived here with our three kids, two dogs, and two cats. We also ran a business from home. Now, sadly, the kids are gone and the pets have died. But we love it when the kids all come here at Thanksgiving and Christmas, accompanied by their significant others. And they like to come home to the house they grew up in.

    We also want to stay where we are because we love our neighbors and we’re in a location where we can walk to lots of interesting places and events. (Parks, concerts, lectures, museums, libraries, shops, restaurants.)

    We do feel a little guilty about the resources that we use to heat and cool a big place, but we close off the unused rooms when it’s just the two of us.

    As far as cleaning goes, those closed-off rooms don’t get cleaned until they’re about to be used.

    And now, in a few weeks, our nephew will be moving in with us to complete his last two years of high school. (Long story.) Because we have the space, it will be easy to welcome him.

    I do admire people who live in smaller places. But this works for us.

48. Posted by Lynette - 08/12/2010

    I currently live in a 4400 sq. foot home on over 4 acres. This was purchased with the idea that I would live here “forever” (by myself…what was I thinking?). My kids are 15 and 17 and I have to beg to get them to help me. I’m tired. Although I love my house and its location I dream of the day when I can downsize to a smaller home. My parents tell me to not sell because I’ll appreciate all the space when my kids and future grandkids come to visit! Yikes! I’m waiting for kids to graduate & move on… wish me luck!

49. Posted by Haley J. - 08/12/2010

    Erin, this post really struck a chord with me. Four years ago, I was still living in the townhouse I had lived in during college. I moved from it into a small 3BR rental house. At the time I worked 10 minutes from home and had lots of time to enjoy the space and the yard. I loved it and wanted a bigger house. A year and a half ago, my husband’s job relocated us to Virginia. We rented, for the first year, a huge Victorian home on a river – with plans to purchase a home when we were sure where we wanted to settle. I was so excited. But, my new job requires extensive travel, and I am gone 4 nights weekly. That house became nothing but a source of misery and despair. Instead of purchasing, we sat down, evaluated our time, our needs, and our possessions. We moved four months ago into a 3 BR rental townhouse and feel so lucky we figured it out. As long as our jobs demand so much travel, a house is not for us. I think, that circumstances such as work, children, etc. can change what type of home is best for you throughout your life and it is something that needs re-evaluating with each major change.

50. Posted by Meg - 08/12/2010

    By the time I was 34 I got the big house of my dreams–a Greek Revival I restored, with the beautiful proportions and 6 over 6 windows. There was a large room on the upper floor with banks of tall windows that felt like a dance studio in the treetops. After my divorce I moved to an overgrown beach cottage that was 3 floors high and had a crazy layout. Both were nightmares of upkeep.

    Now I’ve downsized to a 1100 sq ft bungalow three blocks down from the Greek Revival house. It’s old and needs a bit of care, but it’s got a terrific layout and enough room for both DH and I to work from home without getting in each other’s way. I go by the old manse regularly and have no regrets about living smaller–esp. since it’s still in a great neighborhood.

    That being said, I can easily envision downsizing to 400 sq ft someday, providing the layout and proportions (ceiling ht, windows, etc.) are pleasing. Keeping this in mind helps me pare down my possessions and keep from accumulating more.

    On the opposite side of things, my parents still live on their farm, in a big house with a 2-acre lawn that they still insist on mowing and outbuildings they still try to keep up. Dad’s 84. Sigh. The more I see of their life the more I want to keep downsizing and not deal with the same stuff when I’m their age.

51. Posted by Lesley - 08/12/2010

    Where are you people purchasing homeowner’s insurance? I live in a large house (more than 4,000 S.F.), and our replacement-cost policy costs only $1,300 per year.

    We moved to this house from one of about 2,600 S.F. a year and a half ago. I couldn’t be more pleased with our decision. I work from home and have a nice office, and my hubby uses a spare bedroom for his office. Each of our two kids has a nice-sized bedroom, plus we have a bedroom to spare as a guest room/exercise equipment room/piano room.

    A playroom is great, since the kids can keep their mess confined there – making it easier to keep the first floor clutter-free. The only space we don’t use is the media room. We want to save up before adding the equipment. While it’s not a big want for us, it’s great for resale value in our neighborhood.

    Frankly, I’m growing tired of the increasing portion of the population that looks down on people like me for owning large houses. It’s my choice, and I love it. I enjoy gardening, so a big yard is great. I like the space to teach my kids how to grow plants. I like the long driveway for learning to ride bikes.

    Yes, it takes more to maintain. I have a housekeeper every other week, which is worth it to a working mom.

    As to utilities, my bills are actually LESS than our last house. We have an extremely efficient house with radiant barrier, extra insulation, top-notch windows and a tankless water heater.

    When the boys are grown and gone, sure, we might want to downsize. Or, we might want to keep a large house for future visiting grandchildren.

    If you like a smaller place, that’s great. But home ownership can be wonderful. My extended family can gather here. My children are happily able to invite herds of friends over. And we have an investment for the years to come.

52. Posted by richard - 08/12/2010

    hi, I`ve always lived in a rental — but since my father died, I am in charge of keeping the 2000 square feet house where my mother still lives in order. It`s a never ending job – yard work , cimenting this, caulking that, loads of windows that need washing, trees, shrubs, gutters, plumbing this, electrical job that. Someone takes care of snow removal in winter, and in summertime a service comes weekly to mow the large lawn, because it was an impossible job to manage and plan for since I live one hour away – so we hired the help. I’d still love a house of my own, but a super small one, with no lawn, all land would be a garden. I don’t mind that gardening work, but that way I`d get something out of it

53. Posted by klutzgrrl - 08/13/2010

    There’s always halfway points, too.

    I once lived in a semi-detatched home (sort of like a flat with an upstairs, and a small yard, I don’t know what you call them in the USA) but it was all wrong for our growing family – sick of the stairs, yard too small for the dog. And it still had three toilets – downstairs, upstairs and ensuite – to clean !!!

    And it was in a remote town so with none of the advantages of true urban living! I’ve often wondered what it would be like to live in a low-maintenance flat (with no big dog) close to town.

    Now we have a small home on large rural block close to a good-sized town. It IS a lot of work, but the rural area means that we don’t have to manicure the lawn – just keep the grass down so we can see the snakes.

    It would be nice if developers were more creative about finding ways to satisfy people’s need for personal space without doing the standard home-on-quarter-acre thing. The home sizes here in Australia have gotten ridiculous, and I feel it’s ecologically unsustainable too.

54. Posted by Marlena Corcoran - 08/13/2010

    Actually, that’s just the way kids are taught to respond when told, “Draw a house.” Growing up in Brooklyn, I had no idea what a cow was, but I could draw one.

    Maybe we should have a word with the art teachers

55. Posted by Sue - 08/13/2010

    Lesley,

    For many years I was tired of people looking down on me because I chose a smaller older home within walking distance of a train (and actually chose to walk to the station). People who lived in houses like yours.

    If we could learn to stop judging one another, and look down upon anyone who makes a different choice, the world would be a little bit better.

56. Posted by Harrken - 08/13/2010

    I have always liked the freedom and isolation of a house. I grew up in a typical 3-bedroom 1.5-bath house on a city lot, but always wanted a place in the country where I could have animals. I haven’t made it to my place in the country yet. For most of my adult life I have lived in apartments, some good and some bad. It is nice to not be responsible for the upkeep, when things break call the manager. I still have the dream of a small place in the country but definitely a smaller place than I dreamed of a as a child.

57. Posted by Sharon - 08/15/2010

    My renters insurance (military housing) was considerably HIGHER than my home insurance once we bought. Just saying.

58. Posted by Aaron - 08/15/2010

    I’m a bit odd. My dream homes were greatly influenced by Final Fantasy games. That might also explain my attraction to cob.

59. Posted by Annette - 08/15/2010

    I realized I didn’t want a big house when I was designing my dream home and it was 1,000 square feet bigger than the one I lived in. I thought about cleaning it and how much longer that would take than it took me at the time. With a laugh I tossed the plan out and went back to a realistic 1,100 square feet.

60. Posted by Gretel - 08/16/2010

    This is a really interesting post. When I was younger, I always envisioned a huge house that had everything. Now that I’m in my mid 40′s, and have lived several times overseas, my ideas have changed completely. Our family currently lives in a large 2nd floor flat in Rome, Italy. When we leave, I wish I were able to take my flat with me – I adore it! The layout is great, storage is better than any house I’ve ever lived in (more than I can count) and it has everything we need. I enjoy container gardening and love the fact that I’m not a slave to a yard anymore. While I miss painting/decorating a house that I own, I certainly do not miss the added expenses of those houses. We still have the expense commitments with two houses we own stateside so are well aware of the costs of home ownership.

    It’s been a good lesson for me to live overseas. I’ve learned I do not like yard work and as long as a home is well-proportioned, well-lit, has a terrace, and good storage, we can live very comfortably. We even have a 85 pound dog with us, and she is perfectly content. Live is easier when you know what you want or don’t want!

61. Posted by JC - 08/16/2010

    I live in a large house on 12 wooded acres in a semi-rural area. When we built, we were still doing foster care and in the process of adopting. We had grand plans for a houseful of children and planned the space accordingly. Due to eventually adopting a special needs child, we only have two children and too much house space as a result. I lived in the woods growing up with few neighbors (the closest were my Grandparents 1/4 mile up the road.) When in college I painfully survived living in small apartments. I like other people, I just really prefer/need the quiet and stillness of nature around me.

    Hopefully the real estate market will go back up in the next 3-5 years and we will move even further from town into a smaller house.

62. Posted by Patti - 08/16/2010

    The only time I ever lived in a house was my first 18 years of life…my parents house. As an adult I’ve only rented. Nothing wrong with that, as being never-married and no children, I really have no need of a house since the only thing that keeps me “trapped” in one place is my job…and household clutter, which thanks to 8 years and counting of de-cluttering is on its way out of my life forever.

    Whatever your housing choice, ya gotta pay to live somewhere, and renting buys me freedom at a lower cost financially and time-wise: freedom from time spent on house maintenance and upkeep (I have enough household projects just from de-cluttering thankyouverymuch), freedom from a mortgage that would take me until retirement to pay off (then what?), and freedom to move onto the next challenge wherever and whenever it takes me (as soon as the relatively short-term lease is up).

    Maybe if/when I ever have REASON to settle down in the future I will, but for now life is much simpler as a renter.

63. Posted by Courtney - 08/16/2010

    Great article, my husband and I are both very passionate about this subject. I am an architect and my husband, a columnist with Ipinion and avid blogger, wrote an article on this subject a bit ago as well, for anyone interested:
    http://gabe-greencross.blogspo.....space.html

64. Posted by Kerri - 09/13/2010

    This has been an interesting article, and I’ve really been learning a lot as I’ve been researching simplifying my life, about all sorts of things. It has definitely helped me realize just how big my 1250 sq feet house is, and that it’s not too small for the size of family we hope to have (kid number 3 is on the way), but that we just need smarter storage! So I’ll be continuing to work on getting rid of clutter, and making our space more functional rather than just dreaming of a bigger house someday!

Subscribe to this entry's comments