Unitasker Wednesday: The Watermelon Cooler

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I know about your obsession with watermelon. I’ve seen the way you talk to the blooms in your watermelon patch, the way you care and support each watermelon that crosses your home’s threshold, the way you always show up at potluck dinners with one, and the small tear that rolls down your cheek every time you cut into one. You love watermelons of all shapes and sizes — seeded and seedless.

Because of this deep-flowing passion, I immediately thought of you when I saw on Engadget and CrunchGear the JoyBond company’s greatest creation: The Watermelon Cooler!

Now, I need you to brace yourself, because I have some bad news. Unfortunately, the Watermelon Cooler is only sold in Japan. It’s okay if you cry. I understand. It saddens me, too. Maybe you can plan a vacation?


Thanks go to the more than 100 readers who sent us a link to this unitasker this week. This is a great one!

43 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: The Watermelon Cooler”

  1. posted by Christian on

    that is probably the dumbest thing i have ever seen

  2. posted by Andrew on

    Hey, No one likes warm watermelon! =P

  3. posted by Sarah on

    Is it success or failure when 100+ people see this and think “OMG, I have to send that to Erin!!”

  4. posted by Lauren on

    I love the photo! It has three positions. wow. You always find the good ones! Thanks for making me smile.

  5. posted by Sam on

    Haha,

    @Sarah, I deem it a success (but then I was one of those 100+ people)

    *plods off to keep watermelons cool…*

  6. posted by Pammyfay on

    It’d be even funnier watching the owners at the grocery store diligently measuring the watermelons to make sure their chosen one fits properly in the melon carriage!

  7. posted by hmr on

    I think that this is one unitasker that *no one* can argue for or say “I can’t live without this.”

    But I’d love to see someone try…

  8. posted by Kathryn Fenner on

    Oh, it’s sooooo cute, though! –and although I despise eating outside–South Carolina is now blissfully air-conditioned, so I see no reason to brave the bugs or the steam or try to make myself even half as comfortable as I am indoors, if I were going to transport a whole watermelon somewhere and wanted it cold when I got there, it beats having to trek a lot of ice in a monster cooler, and then having to find somewhere to store said cooler when I’m not transporting watermelons.

  9. posted by Kalle on

    I have a condition that requires me to consume my daily watermelons at a very specific temperature. A centigrade or two off and I’ll break some serious hives. Before you judge so harshly, please understand that this product is not for the average fruit consumer but for people with special medical needs. And the shipping costs are not even covered by my insurance!

  10. Avatar of

    posted by Sandman on

    Not a unitasker, I could use that as an air-conditioned baby carriage. Rain proof, and germ proof too, just what today’s helicopter parents need.

  11. posted by Julie on

    If you live in Japan, you can buy square watermelons and just put them in the fridge: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/1390088.stm

    So cool!

  12. posted by Shalin on

    response #1: HUH? For real!? Seriously!???!!??
    response #2: This has “child safety hazard” written all over it!

    –S

  13. posted by Marrena on

    You underestimate the Japanese obsession with melon. I assume it’s for Yubari melons? If you pay a couple thousand dollars for a piece of fruit…

  14. posted by STL Mom on

    Where do Japanese people store these gadgets? Don’t most of them live in teeny little apartments?

  15. posted by Louise on

    That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.

  16. posted by Erin on

    If I can also fit a small keg of beer into it does that mean it is not longer a unitasker (just kidding)?

  17. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Kalle — You might get the award for best unitasker comment ever!

  18. posted by bklynchic on

    I agree that it’s ridiculous but keep in mind:

    Fruit in Japan is ridiculously expensive. A watermelon that size is probably close to a $100 (little baby ones hover around $25). So investing in a protective gadget for it suddenly doesn’t seem so nuts.

  19. posted by Tiffany on

    This is completely useless unless it contains a porthole for the bottle of vodka you stick upside down in your watermelon. In which case… PARTYMOBILE.

  20. posted by Mary on

    I have to say I love watermelon. I could eat a whole one in a sitting if I wanted to, but that is ridiculous.

    “Fruit in Japan is ridiculously expensive. A watermelon that size is probably close to a $100 (little baby ones hover around $25). ”

    This confirms right here that I will never move to Japan.

  21. posted by Ginger on

    LOL!! That is fantastic

  22. posted by Jurgen on

    I would only buy it if it comes in black.

  23. posted by Donna on

    The Japanese do take their watermelon seriously! In 2008 someone paid $6,125 for an 18 lb black Densuke watermelon.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/06/06/watermelon.japan/index.html

    I wonder if there is an upgraded model with a security system on it.

  24. posted by Lady in a Smalltown on

    I love Unitasker Wednesday, and sometimes (the Cocoamotion for example) I even think that someone somewhere might really use that regularly. This time, no way. And for over $200!

  25. posted by Dawn F on

    I bet the cantaloupe feels insulted – where is a special carrier for the delicious cantaloupe?!?!

    I would love to see my grandmother’s face if I showed up at the family BBQ with this THING!

    What’s so cool about Wednesday Unitasker is that the ridiculousness NEVER stops! :) I truly love Wednesdays!

  26. posted by Rue on

    Sad thing is that it’s the US equivalent of $230! I’ll just throw my watermelon in an ice chest, thanks.

    It looks like one of those kids’ vaccuum toys, you know, the kind that you push around and little balls pop up inside it. Except this one would have delicious watermelon balls. Yum.

  27. posted by Elizabeth Kaylene on

    That reminds me of those little corn popper toys: http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=10&e=product&pid=5536 Leave it to Japan to come out with the most weird and generally useless stuff!

  28. posted by Red Coyote Hunter on

    How many of these delightful, charming, clever devices have they possibly sold? One would be too many, said my sarcastic spouse.

    I, however, believe creative, innovative thinking that produced this gem could lead us to nuclear disarmament, a world where politics was merely a discussion of what’s correct rather than an argument about specious ideologies, endless proliferation of nattering nabobs (blathering pundits of all colors and stripes), and perhaps more restaurants and saloons that served perfect martinis.

    Shazaam!

  29. posted by L. on

    There is no real justification for this device whatsoever but I find it strangely endearing. It’s like art, kind of.

  30. posted by Handy Man, Crafty Woman on

    seriously, who thinks these things up?!?!?

  31. Avatar of

    posted by chacha1 on

    Does it get cold enough to keep my ice cream frozen on a picnic? That’s the REAL question. Watermelon is for amateurs!

  32. posted by John Galt on

    @Handy Man

    >>seriously, who thinks these things up?!?!?

    The same people that brought you these:

    http://www.nikibrown.com/designoblog/2009/11/01/funny-strang-japanese-inventions/

  33. posted by Tracey Davis on

    While I in no way endorse or even empathize with this ridiculous device, I will way that in Japan whole parties are centered around the watermelon. It is used as a pinata and then eaten when finally broken into. So, because of the cultural value, maybe the Japanese see something that we don’t?!? Of course, with living spaces as small as theirs, it doesn’t make much sense to keep around for a few summer parties on the Tama River. Boy, I sure do miss living in Japan.

  34. posted by gene on

    This is the ultimate unitasker, since the person who buys it will probably only use it once.

  35. posted by Karen on

    Oh my word. I think my mother in law could have used this the other day; she is a hoarder and that extends to her fridge. She had to shuffle things around, Tetris-style, to make room for the watermelon she wanted to serve.

    I have a friend, though, who can’t bear to eat cold watermelon. She says it tastes horrible and hurts her teeth. She likes it closer to room temperature. And i have read that actually the vitamins in watermelon are more easily absorbed when we eat it warm, not cold.

  36. posted by Chris on

    Wow, it’s just, wow. It’s really hard to know where to start when a product like this comes along.

  37. posted by Allison on

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O38URvsTjjM

    Baby would’ve been *even* cooler if she’d had one of these!!

  38. posted by Sana on

    I think the watermelon thing is just a gimmick; the explanation along with the product details many other things that can be put in there (canned drinks, hot rice, nikuman, etc.) It’s a food cooler/warmer that can be plugged into your car’s cigarette lighter holder to keep food cold or hot on road trips. Not really a unitasker.

  39. posted by schmei on

    Kalle’s comment wins this round.

  40. posted by Baby on

    I don’t know – this really could have come in handy that one summer I spent at Kellerman’s.

  41. Avatar of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    @Baby — Okay, maybe your comment is the best one I’ve ever read on Unclutterer! Brilliant!

  42. posted by 50s on

    This is the ultimate unitasker, since the person who buys it will probably only use it once.

  43. posted by jon on

    I agree with Dawn F. Where is the canteloupe in all of this? And where is the cigarett lighter holder on this thing? I think we can all agree that the canteloupe is superior to the watermellon. What? You disagree? How about having all the seeds in one spot instead of dispersed across the body of the fruit? How about that for innovation?

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