I also manage a tax office and adults can be worse than kids when it comes to clutter. Your advice is solid and dead on. I have to be firm and explicit or it does not get done.

http://www.chorewars.com/index.php

http://minimalistmum.blogspot......-good.html

We do give them some extra money for helping with some of the really big jobs, like leaf-raking in the fall, and washing windows in the spring. Otherwise they know they are just expected to help because they are able-bodied members of the family.

Limit what comes into the house that makes the house cluttered. I’d limit the number of toys that we purchased. I’d have serious talks with realtives who generally gave them gifts about our steps we’re taking to reduce what we have in the house and bring in only things we need, then give them suggestions, including contributions to college funds for over doting grandparents. I’d try not to word it as “your gifts make our house cluttered”. I’d preferably make birthday parties with child guests “no gifts” (however Miss Manners would let you say that without looking like you expect gifts) or “bring a gift to be given to charity”. Let the guests sign the matt board that will be put with a to be taken and framed group picture as a memory of the event.

Store much (especially toys) and rotate things in and out as you reduce what you bring in. They may not be able to handle going from “lots” to “very little” in a day if it’s not necessary.

Put something away, THEN get someting else out.

Follow the “one in, one out” practice. Help them donate or sell what they’re getting rid of. Teach them generosity. Have a convenient place for unused things and get them out of the house asap. Be a good example – “This is ‘make sure we can wear it’ day” for parents and kids.

Go through clothes each season, more often if they’re in a growth spurt.

Read Peter Walsh’s book, “It’s all too much”. He can lead you through deciding what activities should be done in each room. This lets them know where they can and cannot play and limits the rooms that they will have to pick up. It also helps you make sure that everyone in the family has adequate space to do things they need to do – study, pay bills, etc.

Provide adequate, easy to use, well labeled storage.

Provide easy to use, well labeled dirty laundry bins (or personal bins if they do their own laundry).

Create landing strips for backpacks, a place for school notes for you to read or for them to return to school, message boards, reminder boards, a family calendar, stuff we need (grocery store, hardware store, craft store…( – plus whatever else you need lists to make their and your lives go smoothly. Once a week, go over the calendar together.

(FlyLady makes a great calendar with a big area for each day, Aug 2010 – Dec 2011 is available now), Paper Source sells a 4 pack of self stick but easy to remove black write on sheets – love them)

Have a short “everyone jumps in and straightens the house” once a day.

Plan a short “pick up your room” time at the beginning of the going to bed routine, before snack, bath, read, whatever.

Be a good example. It’s hard to spot your own stuff in the middle of a mess.

FlyLady has some great ideas plus Pam’s “House Fairy” on her website.

Give them experiences and your time in place of stuff. Make memories.

Be positive. Let them know that taking care of their possessions is part of life, not drudgery. Realize that change and learning new habits takes time. Have consequences and be consistent with them if you need to.

Enjoy your kids. Some day your nest will be an empty nest. Help them learn helpful habits, not do dreaded chores. Don’t despair. Mine were raised in a mess (which I very much regret) and quite messy like me and today they are extremely neat and well organized, as are their homes. Maybe they decided not to live the way we did, but they’re happy and still love us.

For my son’s toys we tend to go by the “put that away before you take out another” rule. It doesn’t always work, but it usually does.

It also helps when they actually go to Goodwill or the recycling center to donate the items.

We have a toy buy-back program that I use as I am not willing to have a yard sale. I give them the prices they might expect to get at a yard sale for donated toys in good condition (very low amount!). This is a very popular program. We suffer from over-indulgent-grandparent-syndrome, so extreme measures are required.

Watching shows like Clean House also is very motivating for them!

I mean, usually I follow up with a brief explanation (dinner will be ready sooner if you empty the dishwasher for me; we can leave the house sooner if you help me do the laundry; etc.). But I don’t think I should explain to her the whys and wherefores of every request or job or responsibility I give her.

I’ve found two big motivations for my daughter. One is when I tell her how helpful it is for me when she does something I ask her to do — I’m a single mom with half-time custody, and it’s a huge drag to be the only adult around to do the housework. Another is to tell her how nice an area will look when she’s done or how pleasant it’s turned out afterward.

I like putting it in terms of “Team Mom and E–,” which I think gives her a stake in living in a neat, organized, clean home.

When I was in college my boyfriend’s 13 year old sister ran away from home. There was no abuse at home (although her adventures on the road for the several days she was gone had some dire consequences).

Subsequently, the family participated in therapy. The therapist told the parents that the reason she had run away is that she felt wholly alienated from the family — she felt no connection to them. He said that (among other things) regular chores helped integrate children — made them feel a necessary, important part of the family. The message, he said, should be, “We all need to do our important part to keep the family running well.”

Kudos to Sonja for starting a chapter of the Junior Unclutterers’ International in her home, and good luck!