Unitasker Wednesday: The Cherry Chomper Cherry Pitter

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m not a huge fan of cherries (unless they’re candied and in the middle of a giant dollop of chocolate), so I don’t own a cherry pitter. However, if you’re a fan of cherries, I hear the workhorse cherry pitter can be a small and useful single-task device (similar to a garlic press).

Reader Alison has introduced us to a very specific type of cherry pitter that is the opposite of small, looks extremely difficult to clean, and doesn’t appear to be nearly as efficient as its traditional competitor — and definitely crosses the line from single-task device into unitasker territory. The Cherry Chomper Cherry Pitter:

One of the reviews on Amazon is titled: “A Messy Waste of Time — Works Like it’s Part of the Federal Government.” I don’t know if that headline is accurate, but it certainly made me laugh.

Thanks, Alison, for bringing this big head Cherry Chomper unitasker to our attention!

12 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: The Cherry Chomper Cherry Pitter”

  1. posted by jesser on

    I love that headline from the Amazon review. It made me laugh. But I must say, this is one Unitasker I actually own! I love the little guy too; he was cheap and stores easily (it’s about the size of a stapler) and most importantly, he allows my fruit-crazed, pit-shy kids to take care of their own cherries. I’ve never had any trouble cleaning it either … it’s just cherry juice that gets on it and it opens right up in any case. I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but this is one unitasker (besides the fire-extinguisher) that I love having in my kitchen! It might be the only one …

  2. posted by Adventure-Some Matthew on

    While this is nothing that I have any desire to own (half of the fun of cherries is sitting on the porch and spitting the seeds out!), I can certainly see where kids would get a kick out of using this guy. At least for a few times.

  3. posted by Gracie on

    I actually own this. Oh the shame. This is the first time one of my belongings has popped up on Unitasker Wednesday.

    I wouldn’t bother with it for cherries you were eating fresh. But I love this little guy’s ability to keep my kids focused on pitting cherries for jams and pie filling. We have 5 sand cherry bushes, 3 sweet cherry trees, and 2 pie cherry trees. While momma and the big kids take turns with the big cherry pitter (that little hands can’t operate) the little kids use this.

    It is perfect for little hands and it works fine.

  4. posted by Kathryn on

    That actually looks a lot smaller than the “workhorse” cherry pitter my husband <–pointy finger of accusation | bought a few years ago: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....tterer-20/

    The Leifheit does work great, but it is huge and difficult to store, for what it is.

    Plus, of course, my husband bought it on a whim when we got a cherry tree, and we've since discovered that we're lucky to get 20 half-ripe cherries before the squirrels eat the rest.

  5. posted by Lose That Girl on

    So smiley!

  6. posted by WilliamB on

    Unitasker Wednesday comments are always fun to read. Confessions, protestations, denials, derision – they’re all great.

  7. posted by Rue on

    He’s so cute, I would probably set him on a shelf to be cute while he wasn’t being used. Being cute doesn’t make it a unitasker, right?

  8. posted by Shannon on

    You are mistaken! I too own the wonderful Cherry Chomper, and it is far from a unitasker! I will list just a few of it’s many uses:

    1. sandwich bag drier (for drying plastic bags after rinsing for repeated use- c’mon your grandma did it too)
    2. olive pitter
    3. delighful child’s toy for “playing” when cherries are not in season
    4. tool meant to get kids into the kitchen to share in food prep (aka, additional kitchen labor)
    5. alterer of REALITY- creating a world where cherries are no longer infested with worrisome tooth cracking pits!

    It is a MAGICAL and WONDERFUL device! Not just some dumb metal pit poker. THAT, my friends, is a unitasker.

  9. posted by WilliamB on

    Since I rarely need to pit gallons of cherries at one time, I use an old-fashioned bun pin (like a bobby pin but the sides don’t clamp together). But wait – since I use the bun pin only to pit cherries, does that make the bun pin a unitasker as well?

  10. posted by Sarah on

    I acquired a bunch of little kitchen gadgets when Grandma moved into assisted living. Of the box, I only disposed of the crappy novelty vegetable peeler (shaped like a stalk of asparagus) and the World’s Largest Collection of Bent or Broken Paring Knives. Everything else I kept, even if I couldn’t immediately identify it.

    One of the things I determined years later to be an old-fashioned metal hurts-to-use cherry pitter. When cherries were priced in such a way that I accidentally got more than I could stand to eat, I was glad to have it. More recently, we’ve discovered that at least 10% of the huge back yard of our new house is strawberry plants, and I’m glad to have the strawberry huller. (Pause while I go stir the strawberry-onion chutney on the stove. WOW that smells good.)

    I guess there’s a difference between unitaskers that really work, and ones that don’t; ones that can be replaced by common tools like knives or magnets (or hands, or imaginations), and ones that can’t; and ones that are easily stored, and ones that aren’t. In the chomper’s case, its functionality is debatable; it could possibly be replaced by a knife, but if you pit enough cherries that you’re skilled enough to safely pit them with a knife, haven’t you earned a pitter?; and it’s not all that bulky–bulkier than it needs to be, but still. So on Sarah’s Arbitrary Scale of Keepworthiness, it’s at least 2 out of 3 possible points.

    That being said, I’m not going to run out and get one any time soon.

  11. posted by Laetitia in Australia on

    Half the fun of cherries is seeing how clean you can get that stone by gnawing on it. :-)

  12. posted by Ms. Brooklyn on

    I’m a big fan of the bite-bite-spit cherry pit removal method.

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