Unitasker Wednesday: Microwave French Fry Maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I have never had a french fry made with this contraption, but supposedly it allows you to microwave fries purchased in your grocer’s freezer and turn them into treats that taste like ones from your favorite fast-food joint. I’m sincerely doubting this claim seeing as we all know it’s the fat and grease that makes fast food french fries so yummy. (Which is also why Cookie Monster would likely advise they be a “sometime snack.”) But, regardless if this device lives up to its claims or not, the Microwave French Fry Maker is still a unitasker:

The device looks relatively large and might be a hassle to store the 360 days a year you aren’t making fries at home. Additionally, I cannot imagine that sticking each individual french fry into a little square is worth the time and effort. When they come frozen, they’re all stuck together, and it means you would have to handle each and every fry. Ugh. If you’re worried about the calories and cholesterol that come from frying, simply bake them on a multitasking cookie sheet instead of spending money on this plastic doodad to use in your microwave. Or, splurge a few times a year and buy the real deal at McDonald’s and enjoy a “sometime snack” exception to your normally healthy lifestyle. I can’t even fathom another use for the Microwave French Fry Maker that might possibly make it a multitasker.

Thanks to reader Michelle for bringing this unitasker to our attention.

30 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: Microwave French Fry Maker”

  1. posted by Gumnos on

    Why it makes french-fried potatoes, french-fried sweet-potatoes, french-fried parsnips, uh…french-fried carrots & beets? And the condiment holder, just imagine the options — not just ketchup, but mayo, mustard, relish, salsa, honey, BBQ sauce, Ranch dressing, Italian dressing, marinara sauce, soy sauce, duck sauce…the possibilities are endless! ;-)

    And it’s dishwasher safe — that means that if you have some empty room in your dishwasher and just don’t know what to put there, this has you covered too!

    All for the low, low price of “too much”.

  2. Avatar of

    posted by Sandman on

    You could make asparagus in it too.
    You could use it to store the kids coloring supplies.
    It makes a lovely cut flower pot.
    Store drinking straws in it.
    Fill it with kibble to annoy the dog.

    There’s all sorts of uses.

  3. posted by tabatha on

    I always bake my frozen fries anyway, I didn’t even think of cooking them the way they do in a fast food joint which seems like a lot of hassle to have a fry basket and vat full of oil and grease or whatever is in there. I didn’t know they were healthier that way though, Always good to know.

  4. posted by Dan on

    Cooking fries this way or baking them does not make them more healthy. The fries that you buy frozen are coated in oil so regardless of the device you use you’re actually frying them. If you bake them you are “oven frying.” Microwaving would have similar effects.

    Cooking fries on this thing in the microwave would likely result in a fry that is crisper than the oven without burning. However, it’s also far more likely to completely dehydrate and turn into a little golden rock.

    The healthiest way to make fries is to cut up potatoes and fry them yourself. If you set your oil temp properly and don’t overcook then the escaping moisture from the potato will cause a minimal amount of oil to be absorbed. I know that doesn’t save time and it doesn’t make them health food but cooking isn’t magic.

  5. posted by Luke @ simplifi.de on

    I think this has to be one of the most ridiculous and useless Unitasker Wednesday posts ever. I can just imagine someone standing in the kitchen loading each fry individually…

    It could be used as a diet tool, if your issue was eating homemade fries… it’d be such a pain the butt that you would never eat them again.

  6. posted by Jessiejack on

    @ Sandman–”fill it with kibble to annoy the dog” That is so hilariously evil!! I actually stopped to think about annoying my cats – very funny

  7. posted by chacha1 on

    The best “french fries” I ever had were made by a French lady I stayed with my sophomore summer of college. She cut potatoes into wedges (not peeled), threw them in a paper bag with some flour and spices, shook ‘em up well, then fried them in BUTTER in a skillet.

    YUMYumYumYumYUM.

    This plastic thing is an abomination, but it would be VERY funny to see what a cat or dog would make of it. :-)

  8. posted by Andrea on

    You know, I can see a really cool use for this item, and it has nothing whatsoever to to with food. When you do lampworking (making beads and items out of soft or hard glass with a burner), you often use stringers. Stringers are long thin–from 4mm to less than a mm wide–lengths of glass. If you are an anal lampworker like me, arranging your stringers by color and type helps you unclutter your workbench and work more effectively. I like having my silvered ivory stringer, my raku stringer, and my silver glass stringer (at over $70/lb) separate from regular stringer; having glass of different COEs separate is also a good idea. (COE = Coefficient of expansion, and while I could get technical, the layperson’s explanation is that if you put too much of one type of glass on a glass with another COE, you get lots and lots of cracked beads.)

    This could also be a pen holder (said dubiously) but it would have a large footprint …. As a fry maker … absolute FAIL.

  9. posted by Roger on

    It actually doubles as a diet aid. After putting about ten fries into it, you say “Oh %#$@ this”, and just eat an apple.

  10. posted by Anita on

    What happened to buying potatoes, cutting them up and frying them yourself? It takes minimal skill and maybe 15 minutes in all.

    @chacha1 – can’t wait to try that!! Any suggestions on the spices?

  11. posted by Rue on

    If I can’t have ACTUAL fast-food french fries, why have fries at all?! No store-bought french fries (or self-made ones) taste as good!

    It’s so surprising, the amount of crap that companies come up with hoping someone will buy it…

  12. posted by Kathryn Fenner on

    Okay, suppose you have kids who are serious fry hounds. You only let them use the microwave because it is safer (like all the steam from those Hot Pockets isn’t going to scald you, but some parents think like this) –or you don’t want to wait for the oven or heat up the whole kitchen in the summer–I guess this might make sense if it resulted in decent fries….

  13. posted by Secret Squirrel on

    That is the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen, it must take 15 minutes to load a batch of fries! Maybe it would make a good pencil holder? =/

  14. posted by Brit on

    This brings to mind Michael Pollan’s terrific book, Food Rules, (Penguin Press). His advice: “Eat all the junk food want as long as you cook it yourself.” His example is French fries. If we went to all the trouble to do it right, at home–peeling, deep frying, cleaning up the mess–a fries feast would be a rare indulgence. If you’re going to indulge, then indulge in something authentic…as @chacha1 described so enticingly! I can’t even imagine how awful the fries would taste from this unitasker. (Plus, can you ever get the corners of a tiny square condiment holder really clean?)

    Erin’s idea may be best of all: go to McDonald’s and let the pros fry your fries for a salty, hot, sometime treat.

  15. posted by Patricia on

    An excellent toothbrush holder for Octomom’s kids!

  16. posted by Inal on

    LOL! This thing cracks me up…totally ridiculous! Love the multi-tasking uses from Sandman and Patricia though. My wife could use it as a lipstick stand/organizer as well.

  17. posted by knitwych on

    Cr@p! This thread has me craving McD’s fries right now!!

  18. posted by Dawn F. on

    I wish my grandmother were here to see these ridiculous (but hilarious) Wednesday Unitaskers! Her life was so full and rich (with love, good times, etc., etc.) without having a single one of these countless PLASTIC “things”.

  19. posted by Linda on

    I’m thinking you have to pay VERY close attention if you put fries in that thing..

    Everything that’s put in a microwave has this very, very fine line between ‘raw’, ‘done’ and ‘hopelessly burnt’….

    I’m opting for the oven.. oh, how I love my oven! *lol*

    Greetings from the netherlands!

  20. posted by Vanessa (One New Thing) on

    OMG this gave me a giggle. Thanks Erin. :)

  21. posted by Corie on

    I always laugh heartily at the Unitasker descriptions each week, but this one made me realize I have a microwave popcorn popper that pops corn without oil and absolutely nothing else. I use it often, so maybe that gives it more value? Just saying that perhaps some of these stupid-sounding items might have big fans, making the item worth it to them. Someone out there might just really and truly adore the taste of individually nuked frozen fries. It makes their motherflipping rotten workday worthwhile to come home to a freaky container full of those fries.

  22. posted by Jean on

    Living in Holland means being close to Belgium. Although the Dutch would cringe, Belgium influence exists. We can get french fries (Freedom Fries?) with mayo, curry, mustard, etc. toppings at McDonald’s, Burger King and countless Friet Shops. So no problem exists in lacking fats to munch on. You do have to put on your own salt.

  23. posted by mydivabydesign on

    Best!!This thing will drive you not to eat fries.

  24. posted by Jen on

    I love that this has little condiment dippers in the middle. Who wants warm ketchup? Or maybe you’re supposed to put the ketchup in after the fries are cooked, and then serve them in the container. Way classy!

  25. posted by Sheila on

    Not many fries for a family of, say, five. But when you’re not nuking a couple of batches of fries, you crafters could use it to store your paint pens, brushes, etc. In fact, if your crafting space is limited, you could store the carrier and supplies in the wave.

  26. posted by Kalani on

    @ Corie: I think part of the fun is that eventually we will all recognize one of our favorite gadgets in these unitaskers. A while back there was a whole post dedicated to the posting of our own favorites that have shown up in the Unitaskers feature. Of course people buy the items, that’s why they’re sold. And we all have one or two that we couldn’t possibly get rid of. But we can still laugh at ourselves and our society, right? We had a popcorn popper when I was a kid (the kind that you plug in on the counter) and only made popcorn once or twice… but I LOVED it. :)

  27. posted by Jenny on

    For people that bake their fries on a multi tasking baking sheet, try putting down cooling racks first (making them multitaskers). It lets more air flow around them so they are consistenly crispy, and it stops them from sticking to the sheet and burning on the bottom.

  28. posted by Jess on

    I have a slightly different Unitasker that have enjoyed quite a bit – it’s a ring of raised slots that you can place thin-sliced raw potatoes into and microwave into
    crispy potato chips with no oil at all.

    No, they don’t taste exactly like the junky version and
    as they are “fresh” they don’t store well. But they are
    still yummy and actually fun to make.

    Oven fries – always on the oven tray!

  29. posted by Robert R. on

    I use this plastic gizmo for microwaving hot dogs, meatballs, taquitos, almost anything you need to keep seperated. It would work for fries, but only 6 at a time. lol. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....tterer-20/

  30. posted by Scott on

    I have made microwave potato chips several times. To keep them from coming out so oily, and still keep them from sticking to the plate, I use one of these brilliant gadgets: http://bit.ly/silpat

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