The problem is acknowledgement.

If you’ve been doing something you don’t like, think is wrong, or has been painful to you and those around you – digging out of that hole means facing up to that fact. You have to acknowledge that you did wrong, you have to face up to your wrongdoing. It’s painful at best and can be excruciating. It can be a huge barrier when, just by doing whatever you’ve been doing for just a little longer, you can put off the pain. It’s very tempting, then, to deal with it tomorrow … or the day after … or the day after that.

For example, dealing with a dead car would have meant acknowledging the money wasted by procrastination. It hurts. BTDT.

My issue, strangely, is, and always has been, my pajama drawer. Every other drawer in my life is just fine, perfectly organized. My pajama drawer, though, is a monster. No matter what I do. It’s weird.

I’ve hired an organizer to come over and help me on saturday mornings. Because I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t do this on my own. I now know enough that I probably can; I just won’t. So all the usual clutter will be taken care of in time and then I’ll go on my maintenance dose of once every 3-4 weeks just to keep things going. Thankfully I have a good job. (keep buying cell phones please)

All the clutter areas are problematic, but the weirdest one is probably consumables. I have pretty strong loss aversion. So once I buy something, it’s mine. I don’t want to start using it because then it won’t be new, and I don’t want to stop using it because then I won’t have it anymore.

For instance, I drink all but the last inch of soda (pop) in a can or I’ll use progressively less and less shampoo toward the end of a bottle. Eventually I’ll open a new one and still not finish the old one. I won’t throw them out if there’s a molecule of product left inside. I also buy candles and don’t burn them. Unless I think about how crazy that is. But every single time I crack open a new container or dispose of something (tube from toilet paper, shampoo bottle, can of tomato paste) I have to give myself a pep-talk. “These things don’t last forever, and don’t you want to try that great new version? You know you’re sick of this old one. This product is made to be used, not stared at! You have 18 more, you won’t miss this one.” And it’s still hard to both use new things and throw things out. This weekend, I finally got rid of 3 extra tubes of conditioner that each had been sitting in the shower for 6 months with a miniscule amount of product remaining. I now have only 1 conditioner and 1 shampoo open (and 6 or so in the closet). And I don’t feel deprived, so why is that so hard to finish? Don’t know.

It’s as bad with food – For instance, I don’t cook with stock because if I use my supply then I won’t have any in reserve! Forget that I can replace it at a moments notice. I do this with limes, stock, juice, and other varied ingredients where I buy it and don’t use it before the expiration date because then I won’t have it to use when I need it, never mind that I need it now and am refusing to use it. sigh. I did live for a year before the kitchen reno with a dorm fridge. The goal of that was to figure out what I needed in the fridge and what I didn’t. Now I limit myself to opening 2 jars of jam/jelly and 3 of salad dressing. I have to use what’s open. I do not get to open more or I would have a fridge full of condiments with 3 servings missing going bad in the fridge. It’s working ok so far, but I the grown up fridge does allow me to slack. Me and consumables. It’s a broken relationship.

The battery on my MacBook Pro was failing, and the computer always had to be plugged into a power source. I was annoyed but ignored it for 3 months. One quick trip to the Apple Store — 10 minutes — and it was taken care of. Why did I wait?

Currently we have a broken coffee/espresso maker. It looks so pretty sitting on the counter. It is completely useless.

If you keep things far beyond their useful lives, for the parts, you are running a junkyard and should be licensed, behind a privacy fence, and should be using those parts to repair your stuff and sell cheap to poor folks. Untidy but handy incomes can be earned with such activities.

I am not much of a house cleaner. I’m pretty tidy, overall, and I try to prevent or clean up any particular messes. But, no matter how small my house, I just can’t seem to vacuum very often, even if it only takes about 10 min and I don’t even have to unplug! I kind of LIKE to wash dishes. But I’m single and mostly do one-pot cooking, and I don’t have too many dishes/pots. So, it seems wasteful (or I’m just too lazy) to do dishes every day. Sometimes the pile gets so high that there aren’t any dishes left or I can’t fit another one in the sink to fill with water (at least I let them soak until I wash them, so that’s a little easier.)

And LISTS. I want to make lists to keep me organized. I have so many lists, I can’t remember all the things I want to remember or where the lists are. I want to make lists to keep me productive. I put off doing the hard stuff, and even the easy stuff, for napping, flipping channels, and surfing the ‘net. (I can even nap right after I wake up and BEFORE work! I’ve had my thyroid, etc. checked and all’s ok. I think I’m just avoiding stuff.)

It just occurs to me that I suffer with another kind of clutter. I’m a leader in my organization. However, it’s the military, so I’m kind of temporary. Anyway, I’ve been told that I’m a good leader and boss, but I find that I avoid confrontation that will require me to help figure out a solution. I don’t mean that I can’t make a decision or disagree with a superior. I mean that I have good folks working for me, but they don’t keep me informed. Rather than insert myself, I’ve let things flow for too long. Now I’m frustrated that I’m left out. Not only my fault, but I wish I could start over, knowing what I know now. But I’ll go to the next assignment and start over with new issues that I don’t tackle head-on for fear of making things worse, rather than better.

Oh, and anything that requires talking to “customer service” makes me shy away for days, at least.

It seems to be getting harder though. One thing I have been doing is taking at least three books to donate to the library every time I go and have sold some books, CDs, and DVDs on Amazon. I got rid of all the clothes that didn’t fit a couple of summers ago.

Honestly I don’t miss the stuff I have gotten rid of one bit, probably couldn’t even remember but about 10% of it if I tried.

The biggest thing that has helped has been just not buying anything unless it is consumable like food or toilet paper or a gift or to replace something that has worn out that I need and do not have, like one pair of shorts last summer.

At this point in my life (mid 40s), if I could give one piece of advice to young people it would be “don’t accumulate stuff”. I have spent a lot of time and effort earning money and buying and cleaning and moving and storing (and trying to get rid of) STUFF and it took me almost 40 years to learn that there is an inverse relationship between how much stuff I have and how happy I am.

I’ve been told it’s also a regional thing (not necessarily just Minnesota, though) to say things like, “I’m going with,” or, “Want to go with?” This is one I tend to use myself, but I’m told it drives people nuts if they aren’t used to it.