Comments on: Uncluttering isn’t for everyone

By: joss

joss — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:29:44 +0000

I will have to remember this. Uncluttering is so personally satisfying that it is the closest I’ve ever come to wanting to proselytize to people.

By: Erin Doland

Erin Doland — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:28:10 +0000

@Annie — I don’t believe that there is one “right” way to do something. A good portion of my book is dedicated to finding the system that actually works for you and that you can maintain. I think that once you find the way that works best for you, it’s easier to ignore the people who want to fix you and your systems. You have confidence because you know that what you’re doing actually works.

By: Annie

Annie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:17:38 +0000

But from a cluttered person…(who’s trying!)…

How do you deal with the unclutterers who obsess over your space? The boss, the friends…who all want to help…who flip out when something is out of place? Or worse, when it’s functional, but it’s not the way they would do it? How can you be diplomatic to these people when you really just want to say, “Mind your own f*ing business! My stuff works!”

Is this addressed in your book, Erin? I’m planning to read it soon.

By: Eadie

Eadie — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:51:17 +0000

What a helpful and open-minded post. Thank-you.

By: Suzy

Suzy — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:35:36 +0000

@Engineermom:
Have you tried sorting out the utensils into a ‘Things I do use to cook’ pile and a ‘Other things’ pile?

I’d suggest you do that and then put all the things of the ‘Other things pile’ into cardboard boxes
Don’t throw these boxes out, but put them in a storage room.
That way the clutter is still in the house, so your mother doesn’t have to miss it and she can grab it whenever she wants to (though I doubt she will as she doesn’t use it – you do the cooking), but it’s no longer in your way.
You could even put little sticker dots on them to see if some things that originally were percieved as ‘clutter’ do started to get used after a while.
Maybe your mother will even start to realise you can get the same and even better results with less stuff in the kitchen.

By: Lose That Girl

Lose That Girl — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:25:50 +0000

Thanks for the reminder. My sister is not an unclutterer and I have to remember that when I visit her place. I just hope she clears a place on the sofa so I can sit.

By: EngineerMom

EngineerMom — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:51:14 +0000

My husband, 18-month-old son, and I are currently living with my parents while we finalize buying our first house. Neither of my parents fall into the “unclutterer” group, but they’ve moved about every 5 years of their 30+ year marriage… except this house, which they’ve been in for 12 years now. And it shows.

Since marrying my husband (who has natural minimalist tendancies), I have worked really hard to declutter and organize. That effort really picked up with the impending birth of our son 1.5 years ago, as we were living in a 700-sq ft 1-bedroom apartment and not able to move.

My question is, when you’re sharing living space with your parents, and they’re the clutterers, how do you deal? I get incredibly frustrated because the whole process of something like paring down my mom’s rather large collection of kitchen utensils paralyzes her, yet I’m doing most of the cooking now (both parents work) and find working in her kitchen on a daily basis to be frustrating and soul-sucking (I normally enjoy cooking). My dad won’t spring for the necessary storage space in the living room because he has the skills to build all of said space (mostly bookshelves with doors), but not the time.

It’s paralyzing, hard to keep things clean because of the disorganization and clutter, and my poor husband is going slowly crazy. Fortunately, we’re closing on our house at the end of December, but for others in similar situations, what on earth is one supposed to do? I live here, too, but it’s not technically “my” space, so I can’t get rid of stuff, and I don’t have the money to just go out and buy the storage units they need.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:55:22 +0000

While I tend to declutter my office over a long time period, my husband waits and does his office all in one fell swoop. Different styles. We design offices and find most people make great progress in decluttering once they have designated storage space for what they do want to keep. And they can find things more easily.

By: denise

denise — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:56:09 +0000

if a person loves to live uncluttered, i think it is almost natural to feel, although you may not express it, better than people who live with clutter. i think it is that way because you feel more disciplined and intelligent by choosing an uncluttered environment.

By: Red

Red — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:44:22 +0000

Unfortunately, I’m the same way. I usually don’t tell people that they need to de-clutter, but I definitely notice it. Then I start thinking about how I could help them organize and de-clutter their space. I’ve actually tried to convince my grandmother to let me come into her home and help her de-clutter. I feel like I’m breaking out in hives when I see a home stuffed with *stuff* just for the sake of it. I try to steer clear of bugging D about his clutter… That is, until he starts complaining because of the amount of stuff I’ve gotten rid of. Then I point out all the things he holds on to!

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:05:34 +0000

I dream about having a home that is company-ready on a moment’s notice. The truth is that parts of my house more resemble a nightmare than a dream. But I’m trying, and reading your blog daily helps. There is a person in my family (not living in this house)who wants to “help” me, but her idea of helping is to belittle and embarrass me. I’m embarrassed enough already. On the flip side of that, I don’t understand how I can be so accustomed to my own clutter that I don’t even see it any more, at least not in the way that others do; and yet I still notice the smallest things that are out of order in someone else’s place. (And by the way, I think you meant “our behavior” rather than “out behavior” in the first sentence.)

By: Leonie

Leonie — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:04:47 +0000

I am very glad and pleased to read this. You’ve summed it up very well. Some productivity,de/un cluttering,personal motivation etc sites I’ve read come across with a “better than thou” vibe.

It’s really great to know that Unclutter has a different perspective.

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:13:28 +0000

Hi Erin — I appreciated this, and what I think it points to is that effective uncluttering is really about a state of consciousness, not just the rearrangement of stuff in our home or office. If we make it about letting go of our compulsive need to acquire and keep stuff, as opposed to proving we’re better than someone else or keeping up appearances, we can stay motivated to do it over the long term.

By: chacha1

chacha1 — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:54:28 +0000

My DH, who has packrat tendencies, is confined to one room (the home office/guest room). I wish I could get in there and napalm it. If we are expecting overnight guests, he is in charge of getting that room livable. And the rest of our home is company-ready at a moment’s notice; so for now, it’s working. Sometimes he shows signs of overflowing into the public space, and that’s when I deploy strategic references to his dad (terminal clutterer).

By: Lady Dorothy

Lady Dorothy — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:18:38 +0000

This is a great post! From both sides of the aisle. That last sentence sums it up quite nicely. Thank you.