Unitasker Wednesday: The Egg Cuber

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I think that this week’s unitasker may actually be a non-tasker. Ever since reader Penni sent this Egg Cuber to me, I have tried to imagine why someone would want square eggs — and I have yet to come up with a reason.

Does the oval offend some people? Do square eggs have a longer shelf life? Is it easier to crack a square egg than it is to crack an oval one? Is there a major problem with eggs rolling off counters and trays that I don’t yet know about? why? Why? WHY would anyone want a square egg?!

Also, I think you have to own chickens or at least have access to immediately laid eggs to be able to take advantage of this device. Egg shells are only transformable for a very short time period after being laid. It seems like quite the task to be able to even get these to work.

Please leave your explanations (the more humorous the better) for why someone might need the Egg Cuber in the comments. There must be some reason for such a device beyond the end result just looking cool.

(Image via The Kitchen Store)

64 Comments for “Unitasker Wednesday: The Egg Cuber”

  1. posted by Aslaug on

    I presume you cube the egg after it is cooked – and it probably only works for hard-boiled eggs (otherwise there’d be yolk everywhere).

    Those who watched the TV show Monk will understand the need for this tool – remember how much he loved the square tomatoes?

  2. posted by Dawn F. on

    Why would someone need their egg cubed? Does it taste better? Does it look classier? Does it lay better on a cracker?

    Now, this is a GREAT Wednesday Unitasker! Unitaskers just seem to make Wednesdays better!

    I think I’ll have an egg salad sandwich for lunch! Yum!

  3. posted by Connie on

    well, I could see it being used for a Japanese food show or restaurant if they want a really unique display.

    Other than kitschy novelty uses though, I don’t see how it’s useful at all.

  4. posted by Rusty on

    It’s Hip to be Square, all the Chicks know that!

  5. posted by Stacy on

    Hahahahaha!
    I have one of these! I have used it once! It made me laugh. I got it friend, who got it from his grandmother!

  6. posted by Lose That Girl on

    I’m sure it’s a great conversation starter…. especially if you have guests who are a bit shy.

  7. posted by Jonathan Frei on

    does it only square one egg at a time. or can you turn a dozen into cubes

  8. posted by Wendy on

    Yes, these are only for hard boiled eggs, sans shell. I’ve seen them advertised for excessively decorated bento boxes. The more interesting ones make animals instead of cubes.

  9. posted by Bobbi on

    That’s nothing.. Haven’t you seen the Egg Molds?

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb.....utterer-20

    I think it’s to make your food entertaining and different, therefore more interesting to eat. I blame the Bento box craze.

  10. posted by June on

    Wow! Very useful! :)

  11. posted by Christa Giles on

    Check out http://justbento.com to see all the funky creative things that bento fans do with their lunches… including pressing their hard boiled eggs into interesting shapes!

  12. posted by joanna on

    OK, I had to investigate this. Rachel Ray has a whole segment on why you’d want a square egg. And, the boiled egg is what is smashed into a cube, not the shell.

  13. posted by leah. on

    The answer is simple: cubed eggs are required to make a proper egg-loo! :)

  14. Profile photo of Erin Doland

    posted by Erin Doland on

    Like I said in my article, I get the whole “looking cool” thing for a Bento design or whatever … but does it actually DO anything? Is there a utilitarian reason for having a square egg beyond it being different than an oval one?

  15. posted by Heather on

    Finally a solution, my eggs are always rolling around in the fridge! Or am I supposed to keep them in the egg crate that I buy them in? LOL – what a wierd device.

  16. posted by ida on

    I was hoping it was a stick of butter wrapped in cream cheese…now I’d buy that!

  17. posted by deb on

    Finally, stack-able hard boiled eggs! No more wasted space in the egg bin. Life is good.

  18. posted by Anonymous on

    Though not normally a fan of unitaskers, I can think of one use for the egg cuber. Using “cubed” eggs to make deviled eggs would mean that you could put deviled eggs on a regular plate without having them slide all over the place.

    So, in the Unitasker Battle between a deviled egg plate and an egg cuber, I’d go with the egg cuber, if for no other reason than it’s a lot smaller and easier to store.

  19. posted by Allison on

    I’m speechless.

  20. posted by JM on

    “Also, I think you have to own chickens or at least have access to immediately laid eggs to be able to take advantage of this device. Egg shells are only transformable for a very short time period after being laid.”

    I’m going to hope you are joking in this statement (although I’m guessing it was laziness). A 1 second search finds a video that explains this is for a turning a pre-shelled hard boiled egg from oval to square. Which I am guessing allows for more eggs to be put on one plate without having the move around (no wasted space, stackability, etc.).

  21. posted by Splint Chesthair on

    I agree with anonymous above about the deviled eggs. This device takes up way less space than a deviled egg tray. Square deviled eggs would be AWESOME!

  22. posted by Karyn on

    I’ve always been a square egg trying to fit into a round bowl….

  23. posted by Suzyn on

    Duh, so you can stack your eggs in the refrigerator!

  24. posted by Michael on

    Erin said: “Like I said in my article, I get the whole ‘looking cool’ thing for a Bento design or whatever … but does it actually DO anything? Is there a utilitarian reason for having a square egg beyond it being different than an oval one?”

    It makes it easier to fit the egg into the small compartments of a bento box.

  25. posted by Daniel Howard on

    Yeah, if you want a utilitarian explanation: cubes are stackable and they do not roll.

    That said, I’d say the purpose of a cubed egg is to make a person smile at something novel. Surely some silly human being types find smiling to be worthwhile. You Vulcans can save the $3 on buying a silly device and eat your hard-boiled eggs in a logical manner.

  26. posted by Jeannette on

    Daniel is absolutely right.
    I have a friend who bought herself a square-egg device oh, maybe 20 years ago, and laughed and laughed about it.
    Then she had a party, and made canapes using a dozen squared-off eggs. And laughed and laughed.
    I don’t know if she still has the thing, but for her, at that time, it was well worth the money.

  27. posted by Tammy on

    Anonymous above beat me to it — Egg cuber over devilled egg plate any day! My party goers will rejoice!

  28. posted by Kate on

    We had one of these in the 70s. My mom bought it because she thought it was hilarious, and we cubed some eggs and then it sat in the back of a drawer for the next 20 years.

  29. posted by Anita on

    With a few different shapes of this (and enough eggs), you could make an igloo out of hard boiled eggs!

  30. posted by cdelphine on

    This instantly made me think of Monk… but I don’t know why anyone else would want one

  31. posted by nancy on

    My first thought would be OMG… the bento people will go crazy for this. There’s already egg molds galore (see here: http://justbento.com/handbook/.....-egg-molds ), a cube would be sooo cool. I’d buy it.

  32. posted by farmwife on

    “Also, I think you have to own chickens or at least have access to immediately laid eggs to be able to take advantage of this device. Egg shells are only transformable for a very short time period after being laid.”

    ROTFL!!!!! Umm, no you can’t transform an EGG SHELL :) It is what it is — and it’s pretty darn firm the minute they come out ;-) (I’ve caught plenty of warm eggs out of chicken butts — and yes it all comes out of the same hole!)

    You have to mush the hard boiled and already SHELLED egg to use this thing :)

  33. posted by Bert on

    My grandfather had one of these and used to entertain the kids at Easter by showing them how to make square eggs. It’s a toy and we thought it was fun. It’s not supposed to do anything useful.

    By the way– a freshly laid chicken egg is not soft and malleable. They come out with hard shells. This tool is used on boiled eggs after the shells are removed.

  34. posted by infmom on

    Well, the last episode of “Bones” had Booth getting spooked by a hard-boiled egg in the center of a meatloaf because his mom told him it was a big eye. Maybe if it had been a square egg he wouldn’t have believed her. :)

  35. posted by sandra on

    Like many of the other commenters, I’d buy this or one of the cute Bento egg molds to make eggs for a potluck to make my friends laugh. Or think about doing it – would probably never get around to it. Of course it would mean no longer having a use for the Unitasker deviled egg dish.

  36. posted by Rue on

    Yeah…this is one of those things I can’t even come up with a good use for. I guess you could shape clay with it?! Lol.

  37. posted by Dave on

    OK no you can’t make cube eggs shell and all, unless you are rather mean to your chickens. You can make cube watermelons, and most likely cube tomatos.

  38. posted by Karen on

    Daniel, you made me laugh today:

    “You Vulcans can save the $3 on buying a silly device and eat your hard-boiled eggs in a logical manner.”

    I have to admit I think the bento box/cute food craze is kinda silly, but my kids (being kids) would get a huge kick out of a square hardboiled egg!

  39. posted by WilliamB on

    Efficient storage???

    Something the Unclutterers can propose we all use to free up space in the fridge? (Ideally proposed on 1Apr.)

  40. posted by Courtney on

    Ideas:

    1. If you enjoy slicing eggs and putting them on a sandwich, this way you have sliced eggs all the way to the corners of your bread.

    2. For those OCD types, when you dice eggs for egg salad or for your salad bar, each diced piece will be perfectly square, unlike a normal egg where diced pieces will have (shudder) some ROUND corners.

  41. posted by Don on

    This idea is not strange at all.. it sounds like the home version of a commercial device. (Note, restaurants usually don’t cook hard boiled eggs because regular hard boiled eggs when sliced result in several nice slices for salads from the center and the ends are thrown away.)

    Most do not know of the process used in the restaurant industry to turn out 4 ft long hard boiled eggs. Egg whites and yolks are separated in a factory and the whites are poured the outside ring of a long tube with a tube inside it. The yolks are poured into the center tube.. the filled tube is then put in a heated water bath to create one long hard boiled egg.

    When removed from the tube, the resultant hard boiled egg is cut into long sections, sealed in a wrapper and sent to the restaurant customer.. the restaurant the, at its own pace, can slice all the hard boiled egg slices it wants.. each and every one as perfect as the next.. and there is no waste..

  42. posted by Julie Bestry on

    Hee! My mom has had one of these since the 1970s, and she used to use it all the time. My mom probably got it as a gift, I’m sure. You hard boil the egg, peel it, put it (while still hot) in the contraption, and once cool, can use the egg for all sorts of silly or unusual garnishes. Ridiculous? Sure, but we got decades of use out of it–I assume she doesn’t use it anymore.

    Is it a crazy unitasker? Yes. But when you have a kid who is an incredibly picky eater, or if you frequently make all sorts of garnishes for parties, this can be a useful tool. My mom hosted lots of parties and self-catered events, and I remember the egg once squared could be sliced, then cut on the diagonal and the triangle of white and yoke placed perfectly on one diagonal half of a Triscuit, with other interesting garnish on the opposing diagonal triangle. These were hugely popular with attendees.

    So, Erin, in terms of whether it serves a functional use, it depends on whether you consider getting a kid who pretty much won’t eat anything to eat something with a decent amount of protein (yes, I was that refusenik kid) functional, and whether creating artistic garnishes serves a functional purpose. I don’t really cook (or throw cocktail parties), though I do eat, and at least every few weeks I think “gee, I’d like a square egg”.

    Your milage may vary. :-)

  43. posted by Julie Bestry on

    And of course, that should have said “mileage”.

  44. posted by BG on

    Can one put a square egg in an oval (round) shell?
    I thinks it solves a mathematical problem —
    what is one egg squared???

  45. posted by knitwych on

    The Amazon page says “as seen on Rachael Ray…”

    Why am I not surprised?

    Thanks for the laugh, Erin, and for providing me with yet another reason to detest Wretched Ray.

  46. posted by Sky on

    This is my favorite uni-tasker of all time!! As silly as it is, it would be fun to have square eggs.

    I make my granddaughter pancakes shaped like dogs, hearts, fish, etc. so I know she would go crazy over square eggs!

  47. posted by Ajana on

    It’s been around for some 40 years so people must have found a use for it over that time.

  48. posted by devadatta on

    I’m shocked no one has mentioned the Carl Barks comics of Plain Awful yet, in which everything, including the eggs and the hens that laid them, where cube shaped. When the Don Rosa sequel was published, the comic magazine added a DIY form that cubed eggs. Yay!

  49. posted by Ralph on

    I love it. If you were having a party and were serving deviled eggs, these would be perfect. You could stack them high like a pyramid.

  50. posted by Lizzie on

    Count me in on this one, too. My five year old (and her friends) would love it. And since we know a lot of people who have chickens, they’d spend a lot of time trying to convince the younger kids that someone has a chicken that lays square eggs.

  51. posted by mary b on

    What a flashback…my mother had one of those in the 70’s! It sure was a PITA to use. Of course it was soon relegated to her very large junk drawer full of unitaskers.

  52. posted by Oliver on

    a lot of fun with kids – and yes, you put in hard boiled eggs when they’re still hot

  53. posted by Steve on

    OMG – you can get egg shapers that turn hard-boiled eggs into bunny and car shapes! This is PERFECT for my niece! You can even get shapers that make sliced boiled eggs in heart shapes, totally romantic! I didn’t see the point of an egg cuber and now you’ve got me filling my cupboards with egg shapers… So much for uncluttering, I’m now a bento convert!!

  54. posted by Ursula on

    One word. Triscuits.

  55. posted by Jennifer McIntyre on

    Yep. I have this kitchen tool as well. I BOUGHT it! but I gave it to my kids for play dough. Later – I actually used it for eggs and found that the kids thought the square shape was cute. And it encouraged them to eat more eggs. Like Steve, I have other shapers, too. Have you seen the one that turns a hot dog into an octopus?!

  56. posted by gypsy packer on

    These guys are working from the wrong end of the problem. Fresh eggs for deviled eggs are notoriously difficult to shell. A device for heating shelled eggs, in rectangular containers, until set would be superb.
    Meanwhile, my vintage, decorative, wall-hung, deviled egg plates will have to suffice with eggs au naturel.

  57. posted by Zig on

    I think it’s cute and it’s something different. If I had a party I might buy it to do something fun and diffent with eggs.

    Zig

  58. posted by Michelle on

    I think it would be useful to put the slices on crackers and stuff like that.

  59. posted by Gayle on

    As some of the others remember… these were out in the 70s, I remember my mom having one as a kid.

    The novelty wore off almost immediately because aside from deviled eggs – which were a rarity in our house – we ate our hard-boileds mashed up into egg salad where the egg shape doesn’t matter.

    My mom also had a huge multitasker cemetary drawer. :)

  60. posted by Rae on

    While I most assuredly agree this is a unitasker, I’m one of the silly bento people who adore this device. I use it often enough to justify keeping it, and it does make some really neat deviled eggs. Whatever it takes to make making and taking my lunch more interesting – I’m in for.

  61. posted by Erin K. on

    For saltines, of course :)

  62. posted by Ed on

    I thought you’d boil the egg there, not squish it once cooked.
    I just lost the faith in it hahaha.
    for Anita, it would be an EGGloo
    :)

  63. posted by Albert on

    This has epic possiblities. I’m one step closer to tricking my friend into thinking his world has become an 8-bit video game. Otherwise, useless. But isn’t that enough to make mass production worth it?

  64. posted by Karen UK on

    For tidy sandwiches, of course! Wonderful :)
    You could have a stack for a party, drizzled with mayo – get a budding architect to give you a hand.
    Or use them like those wooden blocks you played with when you were 3 years old.
    Now I know what the ‘E’ in E=MC squared stands for….
    And you know those square crackers? Here’s the perfect topping.
    I’d better stop before I go square too!

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